Sleep will be easy tonight.

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In spite of getting fired up and, eventually, going today I will be able to sleep easily tonight.  I am barely hanging on at 21:00.  Actually, I just had a few last things to do and had to push it to get them done.  I could have been in bed an hour or two ago.  It must be that trying to run two 'hot' days together is simply more than my body will take.  I needed time to cool down yesterday, not so tonight, at all.

I called my mother.  She checked the itinerary.  While it did change, as the email suggested, it was a change of one minute... somewhere.  That was it.  I think she can live with that.  I also looked over the Kindle 4G again.  It is in the basket.  After my mother's visit and that, with the tires on and the pressure cooker on the way, I will be holding off spending for some time, to build reserves back up.  I am keeping level on my 'nest egg', but just.  This visit may... set that back a bit.  But just a bit.  I have planned for most of it, and much of the expense has already been paid, save the trip.  But there is money set aside for that on top.  It is just that... sometimes expenses arise.

While my life isn't picture perfect, I am keeping things going.  I have a bit of savings, just in case I do happen to die... for expenses.  But also for an ongoing life.  I have food stores, and more going in if at a slower pace.  I have my bills expensed and well tended.  My vehicle needs to be tended a bit better, but...  I suppose I could try a little harder to get the medicines that do work, but I am limited in how much effort I can truly put together for that.  Really, it's a small life, but a good one.  I am almost becoming a simple Hobbit type!  It is something I have always sort of sought.  Too many things stood in the way.  I suppose my aspirations vexed by my health has been the tripping point.  Now that I'm not stumbling in the blind about what is wrong I can... retire a bit... more surely... with some understanding.

I have become a humble simple man of limited by reasonable means.  I am learning to fit the shell that seems to have been given to me.  It is not a bad life.  It is just that my potential is exponentially beyond this.  I should be crafting the world, not my Hobbit-home and life.  I should be sculpting ideas into practical realities.  If nothing else, I should at least be warring to keep kin and kith safe and sound.  Instead I am shaping this very little piece of life and home.  It is growing on me though.  And I am... pushing in a few areas.  Ah well, there are much worse things.  Perhaps this is how Father really wanted things.  And, as I said, some parts of me have always wanted this too.  If like most groups, places, and things I have done, I do not quite fit the shell, mold, group.  Gah!  How can you be too angry about stumbling upon a pile of domestic gold?  Or humble but reasonably so living?  Or good neighbors?  Or a place in religious life, mostly?  A wife would complete my happy misery.  *grins*

Good night.