Not bad.

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Sleep was fantastic, as sound as I suspected, healthy and of the right length.  Waking was pretty good.  I took stats, again, finally, after some time off from those.  My weight is staying absolutely rock steady.  In all of my adult life, I have never seen that, gaining and losing as much as 50 pounds in a few months and I have seen a 10 pound shift in a single day.  It doesn't matter what I eat, drink, do or not do... now... 277 even today.  I haven't changed more than a pound (rounded off completely) in... months?  Wow... never mind.  Blood pressure is good.  I am going to test blood sugar later, after I have eaten, probably right before bedtime.

I am beginning to suspect that most men of my age or older are... grumpy old men.  Further, the older we get the more we understand... about life, other people, how things work.  You don't need to be psychic if you have 'been there, done that'.  Further, we become much more cynical, critical, suspect, call it what you will.  We understand that if you throw a rock, it will hit something, and often we have a really good idea what it will hit and what will happen after that.  Which means most men of my age throw carefully, I may be a bit weak in this area.  We know when something is wrong, or right, if men at my age still want to... test that.  But the older you get, the less testing, I suspect, will occur.  Mostly.  I think my problem, compared to other men, is that while I have lived to this age, I am caught between two ages due to my illness.  I have the same time in life experiences as my fellows, but much of it occurred so that I could not remember it.  It might be like a car that was put on blocks with the wheels going.  Lets just assume the odometer kept running.  The cars that have been road driven are... more practical, and a little more beat up.  Engine wear (assuming the pedal and breaks were being used in 'my vehicle' as if road-testing (which I would argue they have been)) is the same, if other parts might not have the same wear.  Then again, 'my car' had been a demolition derby driver before it was put up on blocks.  My vehicle has more damage, but it was... urhm... shortly, sharply, sweetly derived.  It is simply difficult for me to fit in.  If... that isn't even all of it.

I think men of a certain age all have more trouble fitting in than not.  It becomes more difficult to fit in, like old bulls.  Cranky, physically tired just by life at our age, set in ways, and such.  Different things have worn us all down, illness, work, family, duty, guilt, life, time.  Yeah, I don't think I am alone, or as alone as I thought.  I just come at it from such a radically different perspective that I can't always understand what I am encountering.  No, no problem.  It's just that knot the other day, it's been being worked on.  I didn't realize until I heard the *ding, thought is ready for your perusal* thing.  I'm tinkering with it consciously now.  Ever see a kitten stuck in a pile of yarn or a pup tangled up in a shirt?  Well, so goes it.  Still, it's beginning to make more sense.

Up shortly after noon.  I set the alarm to get in the shower before 14:00.  The goal is to be in town, swimming no later than 15:00.  Then I'll take the movies to my friend's place, watch one or two, then go on to the KoC meeting, where we are hoping no lightning strikes.  I do enjoy me some conspiracy theories, theological of nature or not.  I do pull the strings that others have, to see where they go, and I have my own pet ones.  I think this is a man thing, too, though.  Like our techno, mechanical, food, and beer interests.  Men seem to have this small sphere of things that we hold in some kind of commonality.  It starts young, comic books, Boy Scout gear, taking things apart, confusion, distrust, yet interest in girls... it just grows with us.  We don't change all that much if we do get better at making, breaking, and knowing a bit.  That is comforting.  Even there I have seen other things, but the core was built... by the world, nature, family, friends, and myself.

Well...  A bit of reading and then off to the pool.  Good day.