To bed and thus up late.

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I try to keep in the six to eight hour range for sleep.  Sleep is precious to me.  So long as I don't push it too hard and stay up way too long, I can... modulate with a later wake.  The hope, of course, is to get back on schedule as soon as possible.  I just couldn't come down.  If I do things too late in the afternoon I can end up in trouble.  With the work yesterday, then the trip to town...  Working up to get out seems to really gear me up.  Still, it was pleasing to be able to be on point in getting my friend a bit of food.  I know that feeling, of having nothing, and having no way out.  Hate that.  Pure empathy.

Today is starting late.  I just don't think I can get into the garden.  It is blazing out there again.  It says it is 81, with a high of 94 today.  But the sun is out and that makes a world of difference.  Today will be about getting a shower and to town, seeing if my friend wants to go with, dealing with the refund check and some others, an exchange of fertilizer sprayers and getting some new stuff, and taking the sewing machine in and the cable tv box back.  I've wanted to do that for a while, it's just not been the highest priority. If all goes well and I have some juice left, I will try to tend a few plumbing issues. 

I am feeling fantastic.  Only six and change hours of sleep and a late night, adding to that I have been tinkering in the garden in the heat and doing other things here and there.  This is a life, if a minimal one.  It sure beats just living for the next breath, the life I lead for decades, a living death really.  There is so much more that needs to be, and could be done.  But man isn't supposed to try to tame all things on his own.  Something has to give, and it does.  Even if I kept life at my top pace, assuming I can hit the high gear from time to time, I can't keep hearth, home, and the rest in check solo. 

Even a man and wife, working together, can't do that.  It's a continuing struggle, a wife often adding more complication and demand than what she tends.  The most finicky of devices!  And yet, for men who can deal with the imperfections, manage that "system", and keep it all on track, life is much smoother even with occasional hiccups.  Assuming he will give to get and can negotiate well.  It really comes down to salesmanship.  Not just with a wife, with life in general.  Well, and some bull tenacity, learning which battles to fight at home and afar, and some other things.  As is I limp through life on my own and that is that, for now at the very least.  Then again, I don't have to reorganize or negotiate my plans, save by literal necessity.  If I can't get to the water heater, I simply have to deal with cold showers... no cold shoulder to add to the impetus.  I'm a fence sitter with a lean toward finding a wife.  Or, as I like to put it, a neutral negotiator on this point.  The price has to be right, the product has to be tight and understand the laws beyond what is on modern books to include being completely open to natural fertility, and not be a couch potato.  I am not even sure such women exist these days.  They literally don't make them like they used to, if their are more options open to a women, like college debt which few men can afford to pay on top of other expenses a home wife brings to a household.

Hmm... right... Now to get to what I can today.  Imma put the sewing machine and sprayer in the way of opening the back door, right now, or they will be forgotten.  Hmm, and the cable box.  Yeah... then wake a bit better and... a shower before long... then... whatever.  Gah!  Too much but I am not going to let that stop me.  Good day.