I'm a bit of a wreck.

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I've been pushing just a bit hard.  No real damage done, I don't think.  It's just that I am worn.  I am going to set the alarm, and if I can get to Church tomorrow.  I just realize, as I'm having trouble going down, that...  I will try. 

No, it's a short term deficit.  But look at what I have been doing this week.  I'm, actually, surprised I made it to see my friend today.  Even with the things I wanted to get and a promise.  Who knows though, I might pop up and just charge at it.  I am just realistic and I don't know about another early day.

Oh, the fellow I handed the jewels to, not who I thought it would be by the way, talked a bit.  His heart had been really bad too.  With him they had to do open heart surgery.  He said, when they were done, he thought to himself "Oh, so... this is what life is about".  I'm still waiting on that.  Fortunately or not, open heart surgery won't help me.  It isn't arterial, or a valve, it's just a damaged heart.  Anything wrong with my heart was damage done by a virus probably, and long ago, and then from the high blood pressure stemming from the damage.  The only surgical option would be a heart transplant.  Anyway, I was curious about weakness to the chest.  He said he has healed completely, and doesn't need special precautions regarding it.  They might, possibly, someday need to get in there... pacemaker or something.  After that talk I am more inclined to at least listen, then get a second opinion.  Speaking with a man who has gotten out of the funk I live in was interesting, hope inducing.  I don't think he was even close to as bad as I am, and he was still having huge problems.  He doesn't need to empathize, he can sympathize, understand directly.  I hope he understands, if I don't show up, why.

Hmm.  Well... I didn't do much.  I just couldn't cool down quickly enough.  Now I'm chilly.  Yeah...  I really have to start packing, tomorrow and Monday are being dedicated just to putting things together in an orderly fashion, then finding where they will go.  I need to fill some of the water jugs too.  I'd best see about getting the tire off, the kickstand on, and the bike mounted on the back of the Xt'er tomorrow as well.  I have everything I need.  Kickstand might not work.  I suppose I can live without one, if the new one doesn't work it won't be a choice.  Good night.