Juggling.

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Win some, lose some.  As I try to scramble, within my givens, this summer, I keep missing something or more.  When I tinker here, I might forget medicine, or brushing, or eating.  One failure can lead to other failures, or more down time.  I keep trying though.  When something gets dropped, when I can realize it, I try to just toss it back into the act.  I haven't given up, and I haven't had really serious down times for a bit.  While it is frustrating, it is actually somewhat hopeful though too.  Sometimes I realize I missed my medicines, but cannot, for the life of me, as I fall asleep, do a single thing about it.  Just because I know doesn't mean I have anything left in me to aim at fixing it, even when there is time.

This gets very frustrating.  I then look at the options.  I could back things down a notch.  True, I could.  Speeding up won't help.  I could also change things just a bit, or add convenience.  I can't brush my teeth in bed, but I could place a small medicine container near my bed.  That would cover most of my medicine.  Often though, there isn't a lot I can do.  Even with the medicine, that isn't as functional as it sounds.  Fluids would still be required.  The problem with backing down is that... I end up missing anyway, if I do anything.  A trip to the store is enough to throw my schedule off, if for a shorter spell.  But then I get nothing done.  No, I have to keep pushing.  Restarting whatever as I can.  If I wear myself out too much it might actually take a bit for me to get back on track, just from a concentration standpoint.  I'm just in that phase where I am beginning to function but having to go through the hiccups of learning balance, inclusion, and such.  I am stretching further into life than I ever have.  It don't come easy or cheaply.  But I can't back down now.

I did make it to bed by 21:00.  I forgot to set the alarm.  In spite of that I woke right at 5:00.  All good.  Today, if I want to get anything done with the faucet, I will need another trip to town.  I am going to be researching how to install the irrigation though, and might see if I can't get that started this morning.  I need to get that going so as to put the plants in the ground.  That is very time dependent, and even then it is a very late start.  I still might get something this year.  If nothing else, I'll learn how to set up the drip lines and see how that works for keeping weeds at bay, and maybe a few other things. 

Later.