Still better, but just.

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I am feeling better, just not doing better.  My plans simply didn't work out yesterday.  I have reset the dishes for a fresh rinse and... hold the plans over.  There is too much to do.  I have almost nothing to give.  My day is back in day, mostly, but without effort, it just rolled around on it's own.  I will try to keep it there.  I went to bed at about 17:00, set the alarm for 2:00, but didn't wake until almost 4:00.  I heard the alarm but could do little more than shut it off.  I'll keep working on that.

I look around the world, at the faithful, at myself.  It would be easy to fall to sorrow.  I simply refuse.  Even if I can't reach out to it, I keep looking for a handhold, a way out.  If I or the world slips, I just look to the next viable path.  It is fallen, and deeply.  As am I.  Truth is, we will never dig ourselves out.  We can be in a better or worse position, however, and that is my goal and I extend it to the world with what little I have to give on any front.  We won't get there by feeling good, or bad, or anything.  We either get to a better position through effort or we fall to a worse position through doubt.  I choose to ignore feelings when work is possible, dealing with emotions when I can't work, or try to work.  I am in the "trying" mode, hoping to break through to actual work.  No time for feelings right now.

I need to wake first.  An hour or two then, hopefully, hit the dishes and take a shower.  I won't put anything else up, so as not to become overwhelmed, until those things are done.  Later.