I went in heavy, the load was off balance, and I hit hard.

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Sleep felt heavy, and hard to... negotiate?  Like a ship in which some of the rudder control has been shot out, so that all that remains is heavy hard manipulations, sluggish as they are, and imprecise too.  Why sleep should have a feel is anyone's guess, but that is the way of the sleep I just went through.  On top of that, it sounded like someone came to my door and rang my doorbell to beat the band.  Though, in some sorts of sleep, if I hear something, it can reverberate in my mind.  A moment lived over and over in a sort of dream echo.  It finally rousted me enough to wake and check.  I was so hot I had the fan going for the first time this year.  60?  Seriously?  That's cruel to us a bear-kin ogres.  Well, if someone had been there, they were gone.  Then my bladder was pushing me out of bed.  In the scant six hours of sleep I was able to manage, I was up three times.  Highly unusual for me.

As well, I had a dream.  I was driving in the mountains when an oncoming vehicle swerved into my lane.  The driver looked up just quickly enough to see the problem.  He over-corrected and went off a minor cliff.  He was in really bad shape.  In and out, up and down, death was just right near.  Yeah, I went to the hospital to check on him, say a few prayers, and such.  When, through interventions, surgeries, and such, he finally pulled through, I had thought to leave.  However, through happenstance, he found out that I was there, and called to me through the staff.  And so a minor friendship started.  I checked on him every few days.  He had been heading up to fly fish for the first time.  Among other things, he lost is fly fishing rod through breakage.

As it came time for him to be discharged, I brought him a new fly fishing rig.  Exactly what he had, save for a slightly better rod and a more secure case... though there are limits to any case.  I made him fight for one piece of the gear.  From conversations, he knew I didn't fly fish.  But in his presence, I had taken one piece of the gear, suggesting I could use it.  A nice little piece, can't remember what it was.  But he begged, and hollered, and whined, and accused, to my great pleasure.  Finally I handed it over, suggesting I hadn't wanted it anyway.  Then I just told him I wanted him to earn some of it.

He had wanted to continue being friends, but I told him that was ill advised.  I told him that, as far as the world is concerned, I am closer to death than he was at any point in his treatment.  While I suspect I will live longer than some of my middle aged docs, that isn't something to tie a horse to.  I didn't tell him the whole truth, the the reason I was there because the accident, when it happened, I knew was part of my nature.  I won't explain that here, but even in real life, I am pretty sure... my nature is part of why some things, some accidents, some deaths, have happened around me.  This was one of them.  It wasn't guilt that brought me there, only a hope of... changing this one thing this time.  And so it seemed to work.  Though you know how clouded a living dead mind can be.  Believe as you wish.

I suggested, whatever he was doing that distracted him, he relinquish.  I suspect talking on the phone, or worse texting.  I can sometimes see into minds.  I knew what I asked would be difficult.  I told him, with certainty, that if he didn't stop, he would die.  Only the next time he would kill other people too.  I told him that as a seer.  For I had seen it in the days leading to his being released.  A head-on collision at highway speeds, around a corner.  A family of four or five would be wiped out, along with himself and a passenger.  Nothing but mush, over the guard rail, down the shoot to a very hard bottom.  I explained that, unlike some, he got once chance.  It was spent.  There is more to the dream, and in it, but I don't share everything.  Echoes, minders, portents, and... some other things.  But those messages are for me alone.

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Feeling pretty good for having chased the moon to the sun to end up nearly back at the moon, plus having cycled enough minor chores and jobs to actually have called it work along with a full barrage of shopping.  Even in this withering heat wave!  I need to wake up first.  I think I will be okay though.  I will take it easy, at first, and probably try to take it a little easier, if that is even a choice thing, today.  As I suggested, finishing the dishes, finishing laundry, a meal or two, some minor picking up... little things, at a slower pace.  If I can hit a solid stride, I might just do so though.  Hard to know.  It's just, when the drum is sounding strong, it's difficult for me to resist the faster pace.  Health will tend itself, hasn't actually let me down over the edge... too far over the edge (and that with unfair assistance), so far.

Good day(night).