Kicking through.

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Yeah, I really see, easily, where I have problems getting my days and nights square.  I can more easily push my waking hours than my sleep time.  I made it to 18:00 this evening.  I tried to push sleep until 4:00, it just would work.  As with last evening, I really only made it to 2:00.  I stayed in bed until 3:00 but was not asleep, I simply finally surrendered.  Sure, eight hours is good.  It just isn't always enough when pushing my days.  When it fails, it can fail through a need of too much sleep, and inability to wake in a timely fashion, or often both.  Oversleeping or underwaking, or both.  As I have mentioned, this has always been a struggle.  I was a night creature from the time my mother brought me home from the hospital.  Drove her to distraction.  She spent much effort, and as much will and strength as she could muster, to try to get me to switch that.  I was on her side.  Some things, however, seem to be baked into a cake and there is no changing.  The health issues simply exaggerate the issue.  No real complaints, it just gives me something to fuss with, I suppose.

I am trying to figure out what to make today, for food.  I have been eating quite well on odds and ends the last few days.  I am out of eggs, however.  Cheese is pretty much done.  I have milk, but nothing much to use it on.  I might have rice.  I don't have much meat, nothing thawed save canned tuna.  I do have lentils, and black beans but those would need a six hour soak, at least.  I am on my last food legs.  Hmm...  I'll have to think of something.  Necessity... mother... invention.  Then again, I might just fast.  I used to have to do that for days, weeks, without choice.  A day certainly won't kill me.  I actually learned to enjoy the hunger, or... did I just convince myself that I enjoyed what simply had to be endured?  Though, finding something in the desert, whether you come to it from plenty or from poverty, it can be just as inspiring.  Though inspiration, often, is best to be minimal or it can become... a bit too rich.  Just your Zen thought for the day?  Hmm...  I suppose, as always, it is up to you.

I am hoping to get back to some work today.  A shower, folding laundry, then tearing into boxes.  I don't know, but that is the hope.  With the bathroom looking so good, I really am hankering to get the kitchen into similar shape.  Then the computer room, living room, and bedroom.  Well, and then have a plumber in to check on some things, maybe fix them, get a quote for work on the floor (when they begin on the floor, that would be a good time to go camping), and maybe get a quote on a new heater and ac unit.  Yeah.  Carrot, stick, neither alone serves.  I need both, and a prayer.  While I have hope, that is not enough alone.

I am, actually, doing well.  When I get my larder meated out, the manual grain mill and the electric one working actually, begin canning and drying at least meats, I'll be a bit happier.  But it is coming together as well as I can make it happen.  I'm just not good at housekeeping.  Just not.  Later.