Late and early.

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A terrible mix.  I couldn't sleep until after midnight, if because cooking, then letting things cool enough to be put up, was the cause.  Midnight thirty, and maybe change, before I went in to sleep.  As I recall I don't recall much after that.  I stumbled through dreams and pain.  Odd dreams I can't, immediately, lay memory bare regarding.  Dark things and places, dark times and portents, and the fall of many men who many believed would not fall.  I once, even as a heathen... sometimes worse... wondered even so if men were just weak or stupid.  I finally decided.  Why choose one when both can be had for the same price.  Being clever will get one to hell just as quickly, by selling out to global interests, against one's own people, faith, culture, just as quickly as not knowing, or seeming to understand, mass immigration by a military aged mostly male population IS war.  Betrayal is not a thing God approves.  Nor is blatant ignorance when there is no call for it... if there ever could be a call for it.  You can't say you are against colonials and then turn around and BE one.  Evil.  As to peace?  The one to be wary of is the one who says he comes in peace, to sue for world peace.  And his minions.

Anyway.  Sam started in about wanting out at around 5:00~5:30.  She has been acting very strange lately.  Perhaps she knows warmer weather, warm and dry enough to be outside, is coming to an end for the year, and is just trying to get out?  Or maybe, even fixed, she is in a bit of a heat?  I don't know.  It is annoying.  I always fear letting her out while I am still mostly asleep and going back to bed.  I am, honestly, not sure how well cats do and to what temps.  Though an older cat, just like an older two-leg of any type, will be weaker to extremes.  Well, and I don't wish to find out the hard way.  After her mewling, almost howling, getting back to sleep was tough.  I did, for a couple of hours, but lightly.  Ah, and in that time I dreamed of a man I met in the service, as I was being discharged.

He had been in a really bad accident.  He was riding a motorcycle.  I don't think he remembers exactly what happened.  His body was a mess.  When I met him, one of his arms had just been removed from a cast.  It had been broken in several places, but they were clean.  The cast worked.  His left leg, I think, had a spiral fracture and was in a mobile traction device.  I think they were doing surgery to it from time to time, pins and plates and whatever else.  Even looking at his leg, sometimes, and he would panic.  Pain haunted his visage often, even without proximity.  He was using a colostomy bag.  I don't know what it was, whether they couldn't or didn't keep up on it, but it smelled.  Even part of his liver had been damaged, and he was down to some bare portion of it.  He was a good man, so it wasn't an issue to deal with the odor.  And company seemed to help his disposition... so long as you gave his leg and other appliances a health birth.  Why remember?  Ah, because there are people who really do have it worse.  I have some doubts he will ever... be the same.  I have some doubts he lived long.  One can only hope he was able to ween off the painkillers.  And, yet, without knowing, I hope his body healed, and then his mind found peace, and that he lives well and happily to this day.  The fear, in his eyes, if someone new and/or somewhat carelessly approached his leg... the eyes, the immediate sweat...  It is terrible to live in that kind of fear.

Needless to say, waking at about 7:30 was a bit of a blessing, even if I am a bit bedraggled.  Better to be a bit rough and awake than to some recall being written through the mind and eyes through the odd magic of sleep and dreams.  Not sore, this morning, just... a bit rough.  Spent, not bruised or battered, mostly.  My organs seem to be complaining for who knows why.  Even so, and aside from the dream and cat which might end up murdered if she keeps up her neurotic destruction of my sleep and peace, I don't mind being up.  Am glad to be awake earlier.  I even hope to continue it.  When I can wake earlier I just feel like I have more of a day and more of a chance to get things done.  Of course I do, but... then again opportunity means nothing without action.  Bleh.

You know, I really used to be a heathen... of several types.  And I have certainly lived a dark life.  As such, if not fully because I don't have personal access, I really...  Hmm?  Oh, well, listen if you want to know.  Just that it takes one, even if a former one, to know one.  Some aren't former, and are rather easily spotted, especially when they keep speaking out of their depth.  *wink*  Many of mine are still heathen.  I attempt to... warn them off.  I avoid new ones, but it's difficult to let go of old friends.  Liars, however, can go hang.  More so Judas.  Amen.