Not better, not worse.

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I found a place between here and there and it's as good as it gets for now.  I've been watching videos, ate another portion, and... just... hoping to do a bit more.

Some of the videos I like to watch, when nothing is moving, is a fellow who... is doing what I would like to be doing.  I don't know if he is an engineer, or what exactly he does.  Scratch that.  He definitely isn't a technical engineer.  He might be R&D, a field tech, a few other things, but engineers don't, or rarely, urhm... know what they are doing.  Don't hate the truth, or me for telling it.

Yeah.  This is, basically, what I would like to be doing... if not always, and exactly, in this field.  Rather close.  The truth is, mostly, if you go purely electronic, you are in comms and a few other things.  Most electronics has external connections, even bio, but anything from photography to mechanical.  This guy seems more mechanical based, and has had to stumbled into electronics.  Though seems to do much.

Beside what he does, the... mindset?  yes... terminology to way of thinking... that is how a larger subset of my friends operated.  Not just the techies, the wet workers too.  It's a rather loose, half-insane, rather masculine, unconstricted, manner of dealing with the world when you are perpetually over your head in deep, undermanned, overworked, without a chance, and yet, still getting it done.  I really enjoy his shows.  I haven't really hit anything I need or want.  I keep hoping.  Have learned a few things.  Will learn more.  But, more, I have been... socializing... vicariously.  Imagine... say... a couple dozen such men.  Some more combat types, some more mechanical, a few slightly medical, all on the verge of madness from the impossible, but enjoying the game.  Yeah.  I... miss that.  Oh, another one... picked at random.  Click on his channel to see more.

Later.