Awake

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Surprised?  I am, some days.  Blood sugar is 128 fasting.  Should be lower, but the body just does it's own thing.  All day yesterday, blood sugar stayed between 91 and 95 after the 101 reading, and with only the single doses of slow and fast acting insulin.  I didn't have another meal until 17:00, a very light one, then went to bed at 19:30.  A very long day.  I am trying to get days back, for as long as possible.  The ducks were given two times out, but returned to their pen quickly the second time.

Sam continues to... what... yeowl through the veil.  I do know that.  She sees what has gone before, what waits, but can't let go.  The body isn't ready or able to... release.  I feel for her, but can't, won't, interfere.  Death must come in it's agonizing slow painful time.  I let her go, but offer her comfort when she will take it.  A bit jealous, her time approaches.  It might be years off, but barring... interference of some sort, I have decades to yeowl left, more dead than alive.  Speak of the devil... she knows even when I think of her.

Not so hungry first thing, so slow acting insulin is going in first.  I should have pushed, taken it at or a few hours before bedtime.  I was just holding on, thinner than skinny of thought.  I couldn't have thought myself to that within the moment.  But I CAN precognition a thing, preset parameters, then zombie act.  So it is done.  It isn't a forever thing, as my schedule changes without control.

Not one major bloody nose this morning!  TWO!  Bastard nose.  Sure, the rest of me too, but I pick on misbehaving parts as need be.  Not literally, mind you.  But no headache.  Aspirin relieves one, creates the other, problem?  I need to reset some meds today, and check bp.

Fresh tea is brewing.  A few pieces of salami, chia with pumpkin seeds, and a fatted coffee in an hour or two.  A strange breakfast, but it does well for my purposes.  And it might well surprise you how good it tastes, even purely keto.  It does take choice and sacrifice to get to this point.  But once here, going most of a day without food isn't a concern.  The difficult part of keto is the psychology of wanting food as a drug.  Carbs are sugar is crack.  I miss the rush... crave it.  More than I missed tobacco or booze.  Two years since my last drink now?  Three or four since tobacco?  QUITTER!  ;p

Good day, night, and morning.