Odd, medicine.

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Two days back on it and the pain is back, plus extra temporary suffering as my body adjusts to the breaks and full back being applied to an out-of-control all forward engine.  I was going to hit... something... eventually.  Medicine is a brick wall.  A thinner one than a heart attack or stroke is all.

I actually have hurt, I just didn't feel it.  I finally burned.  The pan was only 350°.  I am not sure if I am failing, if it was because the handle was a massive piece, or chrome instead of cast.  It took the skin, about the size and shape of a quarter, off.  But... it didn't hurt much.  Nothing else seemed to hurt either.  I suspect everything hurt, but I couldn't feel it.

Medicine allows me to more directly feel pain.  Even so, the burn is minor compared to my innards and else.  Now that medicine has allowed pain to again be sensed.  As well, I can more easily remain celibate off medicine.  Not even close to perfectly, especially when the dreams flood in.  But on medicine my will collapses, especially initially.  Dreams, daydreams, visions, scents, ghost sensations... medicine floods my perceptions with... memories?... of her... many women.  I have sipped deeply from that garden.

As well, 74° to 76° couldn't always keep me warm.  Now, 70° is cooking me.  Too hot!  And with a muscle shirt, not even a t-shirt.  Odd how that works.  I ought to see if my reactions are normal.  Then again, I just started over 32 mg of stuff most people, even close to my size, max at 6 mg.  Some take as little as 2 to 3 mg's.  So... I may be a tadge unique.  I would like to understand the mechanics though.  Later.