Pain.

 .

.

Not the worst I have had, even of late.  Pretty potent though.  Skeletal and muscular from the shoulders up, typical innards, ribs, and musculature midsection, plus a pretty stout headache.  Just a regular headache, but a pretty potent one.  I set up bedding to be warm, finally, last night.  Sleep has been off because of the haphazard way I have been letting my bedding be.  I fixed it.

The thing is, sleeping warm, I think I finally slept exceptionally well.  Which means I didn't rock and roll as often as needed.  Oh well, I am about to change pillows out, with new ones, now that I have pillow cases purchased, washed, and ready.  I'll even double the cases, so as to keep the new pillows newer for longer.  Assuming these new pillows are any good.  Never can tell until I've slept on them for a while.

Down around two.  I didn't eat, and dose, should have.  I did take the slow acting insulin, but without food, I wasn't willing to take anything else.  Blood sugar is 225 this morning, fasting.   I'll have a bit and a medium dose before too long.  I am hoping the aspirin I took nearly first thing begins to help.  The pain is fairly severe.  I'll just pass it to those in purgatory.  Believe me, they need it and want it.  I am becoming convinced, without outside... earthly... help... there is no escape from purgatory.  I pray for those I know, offer my suffering should they be there, and offer any excess to any poor unnamed soul.  I do.  I really do.  It... almost makes me glad I have suffering to offer.

I won't be doing much if I can't escape the pain.  Probably a meal, in an attempt to break the spell.  If that doesn't work, probably back to bed.  I did end up staying up later, if I wasn't able to do the dishes, or really anything else.  I... kept... pushing, from the inside, getting nowhere.  At least I didn't stay up until five or eight, or even later.  Insomnia can grab me by the throat and drag me through days if I am not careful.

Hmm... if all else fails, I may, as I go upstairs to sleep, begin memorizing a few prayers.  I should write the fifteen steps to humility, and the Eucharistic prayer from the other day.  Those were... very very good.  Humility is my weakspot, Eucharist a greater part of the answer, but the regular will to other than self is the other part.  Difficult when, sometimes, that is all there seems to be.  Stations of life have... meanings too.  A child, the elderly, and the nearly dead, all have limits to beyond self.  Limits to cognition, will, and other things.  It's... just the way of it.

Later.  Hope your day is good.  If not, do what you can, say a little prayer, and do as you may.  Amen.