Up, a bit late.

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Then again, I couldn't crawl in to sleep until midnight.  As perhaps mentioned, when I get too tired, I simply can't sleep until I unwind, relax, and can then begin to shut down.  Why that is I can't say.  Well, and I kept hoping I could do a thing or two more.  I... often get stuck in the "trying" loop, as well.  Those two things murder sleep.

I woke shortly before five, but couldn't market that into wakefulness.  It was right at 07:30 when I noticed what I thought was light outside?  Still thinking it was nearly five, I opened up.  Not... daylight?  And yet, daylight.  So overcast I can't tell, but that overcast condition takes whatever the sun was giving and spread it across the valley.  A... well as nice a wakeup as I could hope for on such a day.

I looked at the laundry that was up there.  I just couldn't dig in deeply.  I did a few things, organized a bit.  But, really, I... am not quite up to working yet.  I am hoping to do more today.  But that is difficult to know... I may have burned out yesterday.  I really don't have much to give.  When I give it, it doesn't, not always, simply refill, or overnight always.  Even so, I am hoping to get a shower in an hour or two, then set up some dishes.  And go see what can be done about laundry.  As well, chores, shortly, tending cat litter, and feeding the girls.  I tried the hydrant yesterday, to no good.  So had to refill their water with tap.  It's what I'll have to do with rabbit waterers as well, shortly.  Running out.  Still, all good for short term watering.

Of course, I'll have to spend time waking.  Get something to drink, or maybe eat.  Fasting blood sugar is 143.  Bad food yesterday.  Still, better than... could be.  Working, being in the cold, stress, all can drive that hunger monstrously.  There is no escape being human, or human-like, living in flesh that has it's costs.

Today?  Probably chia?  Or should I have bacon and eggs again?  Oh, I think I'll go with bacon and eggs.  Fatted coffee with that, but only a tablespoon, or two... so about 100 calories for that.  Along with protein powder.  I will have eaten all the eggs, or almost?  There may be six left, I only fry four at a time.  Hey, if I were fit I would weigh between 220 and 240, so... yeah.  I actually do need four eggs.

Later, I will bake chicken.  If the veggies are any good, I will steam some of those.  Chicken thighs, skin on.  I just did the meal planning for today.  I had to cut here, take on piece of bacon out, add protein.  I start with a plan, then... pare it down until it fits, or add this or that.  It's like a jigsaw puzzle.  Definitely can't have everything I want, though some days I have to figure out how to shovel it in.

Oh, but one thing?  Now I am not cutting myself short.  If I only use two tablespoons of cream, I don't label it as four.  Or one and label it as four.  And I am cutting fats so I can have more food food.  I want more chicken than fatted drinks, or such.  Still need some, it's the best way to get protein powder in.  Ugh.  But... I'm... learning.  I don't think food can be about perfection.  It's about learning and figuring and being successful to some degree.  And, regardless what they say, food isn't science, at least when combined with the body.

 My metabolism is so weak that even eating, mostly, 1,500 calories a day, I am not losing any weight quite yet.  Crazy, but true... so far.  Sure, there have been spills, like yesterday.  But I am far closer to averaging 1,500 calories than not.  And it just isn't budging the scale... or didn't last time I looked.  I'll check again at the end of the week.  And... maybe... might start weight daily, or nearly.  Just... to see some things.

Well, on to waking and my day.  I'll try to get to some things.  Good morning and all the other jazz.  Be well.