Up?

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Sort of, for a while?  Wanted to get to the post.  Been weighing on my mind.  Kept failing.  Today.  I... couldn't sleep well.  So, after a few hours down, I woke and am just waiting for them to be open and ready.  I'm not sure when they open, eight? nine?  I am sure of the latter, probably the former too.  But I just want to go once, so I'll head out around nine.

Nothing fancy.  A bulk box of facial tissues.  But, at the price, yeah.  Then I am stocked for, probably, a year or two.

After?  If I can get back to bed for a while, I will.  If not, I guess my day gets a harsh restart.  

Changing kefir resets, from three jars to two, a day.  Either that, or I will have to order more milk.  Just not willing to go with four gallons a week.  Yea, I burn through three gallons pretty easily.  For a while, initially, that was too much.  Then the kefir colonies strengthened.  Now I can get a reset every twelve to eighteen hours, with just a few tablespoons of the grains.  With three jars, I was having to stretch the milk, so ending up with more curds and whey, which I... don't prefer.  Ugh... getting these things to balance out, when everything runs on a bit of a curve, has been frustrating.  Still not sure I have it.  Working on it though.  Ugh!

How many days has it been dark, now, in a row?  A week?  Two?  It seems like a long time.  Oddly, it isn't throwing me too far off.  Sure, I am tired, and achy with not all that much work.  But, off meds, that's the way of things.  And, usually, much worse.  Perhaps the meds have helped the heart and else in a more permanent way?  Or, maybe, it just allowed Atlas time to shift the world on my shoulders, and get used to the grist mill of life.  And maybe knowing what is really wrong allowed me a... chance to alter my perspective?  I think it's a number of things.  Though, how long or short that will do is a whole other thing.

In a foreign country, such as Argentina or Cambodia, I could afford medical.  I just don't have what I would want, need, yet, to get there.  With the house having become unsellable at the price I would sell, I'm sort of stuck here.  Dreamed of selling up, for a premium, last night.  And moving out.  Just a dream.  A good one, as it turned out.  As mentioned, I can't afford an American wife.  And... I found one down there.  A few kids, too.  Those dreams seem so long.  Weird, when waking just a few hours after having gone to bed, to realize twenty years hasn't passed.  I'm not twenty or thirty years older.  I don't have a wife and kids.  Crazy how real that seems.

Well... going to research a few things on the new game.  Then get to the post and then back on to bed... I hope.  Goodnight, again.