Awake for a while.

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Since midnight?  Three?  Something.  Just drifting, since then.  Gaming, initially.  Then to making a fatted coffee.  Reading what the internet portends, suggests, or such.  No, not so much the news.  The news doesn't matter.  You are told what you want to hear.  I am not.  They don't dare speak the truth.  If I want the truth, I'll tell you.  Which I do, from time to time.  Hated for it.  All good in my book.

Sleep was good.  Getting cold though.  It's 71 up here, in the front room, in late August?  Strange.  It was 74 near me, 75 elsewise, when I went to bed.  Didn't check when I woke up.  Cool enough to not use ac, if I did use a fan.  Delicious sleep, honestly.  I may go back down in an hour or three, try to just nap, then get a shower and makes some calls, do some business.  It is right between 45 and 46 out there... here as I just start to write.

As well?  It is 68 in the main?  I had to think what has changed.  The new window!  That makes a serious difference in the temp here in the house.  Hot air doesn't get in, cold air doesn't escape, it is... incredible.  This house is, truly, more a keep than a house.  I am hoping it stays much warmer this winter, with less fuel.  Will see.  As well, maybe keeping the furnace fan on, always, even when the furnace isn't heating, will help things?  I don't know, will experiment.

It took me a long time to finally begin tinkering with... some things.  I won't waste time in the future.  Even if the process might seem counterintuitive, sometimes little miracles can be found through the... road less traveled?  So it seems.

Feeling anger.  Women.  They get that way.  Then again, they were born angry.  Is life fair to them?  It is more than fair, until it isn't.  They seem to have embraced sharing unfair treatment, and going overboard on it.  Some of us have just walked away from that program.  They... don't seem to understand.  I don't need to be understood.

It... isn't just one of them.  It's all of them?  At least here.  They think they deserve... whatever they can get, take.  Right?  Wrong?  Has nothing to do with it, for them.  Which is why they are angry, and alone.  I might be alone too, but I am comfortable with that.  I can happily live alone without having to negotiate everything I do with an unreasonable small loud animal.

I am not alone.  Or there wouldn't be such a fuss about it?  Some guys find there way.  A few women find husbands.  Faith based?  Maybe.  Though even that is... becoming questionable.  It works right until it doesn't.  Which is usually a few minutes after she finds she can take all or most of everything they have saved (usually from his earnings), or bought.  Sell it all, and have fun, for a while.

No, I understand... some things.  Married life is boring.  Having children is painful process.  Everybody just wants a blow-out extravaganza.  A chance to live like a "king".  But to destroy the family, it's wealth, and such?  But, yes, they do that.  For no better a reason.  Not worth the risk.  There is no real safety from it.  I would guess even churches are on the wrong side of things, mostly, these days.

But, yes.  I feel their feelz, hates, but more.  It's more complicated.  Not that they understand their part to it.  Or care.  But they do have some... notion... back there.  Some understanding, of why.  If the why's of things don't really make sense to them, and isn't some they can grasp well.

But, it's not all hate.  Some of it is just want.  Like the dog at the pound, wants to be taken home.  But... they all do.  And, to some degree, they understand, even if a potential new owner wanted to, he couldn't take them all.  But, more, some of us don't want old dogs who can't learn new tricks, and come with particular issues which can't easily be modified.  They know.  Their fault, some guys' fault(s), no one's fault?  Doesn't matter.

Oh, even at salons, or health places, they know my name, and what I say.  Which is part of why I am holding off on the ankle treatment.  I did get it, safely, to scab over.  Need to call them, stall out the appointment until late fall, early winter.  If... it is needed still, then.  If the wound site is less problematic, the skin can handle dressing.  And if I don't have too much of an attitude about these things.  Yes, I know you read here.

Hmm... on to gaming for a bit.  For supper?  Or... lunch, breakfast, whatnot?  I am thinking of grilling the steak.  But, not using it as a steak.  Taking my third portion, dicing it.  Browning butter, and making a sauce with that, cream cheese, sour cream, and spices.  Then, possibly, adding a few canned veggies and the diced meat.  Trying to make more of a stew than a soup?  A touch of xanthan gum, or such, for thickener.  I have bone broth, too.  Beef and chicken, though will still with the beef.  Not... obviously.  Sometimes chicken makes the whole thing just a bit easier on the belly, softer.  I don't need medicinally light food, today, however.  So beef it is.  If... I can get to it.

Later.

They arrived on their own.  I see, hear, mostly understand.

Be careful with what you wish.  Good guys?