So very sick.

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My usual if irregular illness returned.  In some ways worse, in other ways not as bad.  Usually it is a combined fever and chills, and inability to do almost anything.  This time, while that occurred, it wasn't as cripling.  However, it also came with extreme random joint pain, general aches, plus specific pains at various points on my body, for example the sensation that I had been punched in the stomach enough to leave it aching, directlg hurting.

Usually it lasts a week, more often two weeks, sometimes longer.  This time it seems to be breaking in a few days?  Will know for sure in the morning.  One thing that may have helped is that mother offered a meal.  Something I couldn't have made.  I decided to at least try to eat, and was able to ingest and retain.  One meal, itself, couldn't have done it, but a cleaner house, food, and else, may have added to it.  Living in a sty is a good way to get and stay sick.

Has it been three or four days?  When in fevered delusion, time is difficult to count.  Oh, but it seems a woman was here?  My last woman, or my first?  Can't be sure.  Delusion, dream, vision?  Not as a sex partner, just as a support.  Women can be helpful, if they decide to be.

More food down there.  Mother packed some of the meal, in case I woke hingry.  Not hungry, but... I could eat.  Not perfectly better, just mostly better.  Or having a more lucid moment?  I eat when I can.

She is learning.  If she wants to eat with me, it has to be clean.  No canned slop like canned or "american" chhese, no walmart meats, no Chinese fish or seafood, no carby stuff (like corn starch, wheat flour, soy (anything soy), or such), and no dirty ingredients (such as seed oils, dextrose (or similar... just tasteless sugars), or literal chemicals).  And, sugar free means nothing if the product still has high carbs.  ;p  she bought canned cheeries, without sugar, but at a quarter or eighth cup, per serving (dubious at that) listed 7 or 8 carbs per serving, but had... fifteen servings per container?  Thats like at least a hundred five carbs per medium can.  No!

And, no.  I can't eat fresh fruits.  Not groups of pears, not packages of mangoes, not apples.  I had hoped local native green apples, or others, would work.  Nope.  I can't eat fruit.  I would have thought, by now, I could tolerate an occasional blip of fruit.  I can't.  My system is shot.  While I have given up on being skinny, I can keep my blood sugar low.  I do.  So if I have to go without eating bad food, I will, do.  She thought I would come her way, on food.  Did, in a keto way, from time to time, to try to get her to come more my way.  When I realized that wouldn't work, I quit.  Well, and as she left even the keto way.

Oh?  Finally, with the kitchen more clear, we were able to set up a table and clear the freezertop!  Something I dreamed of doing for years.  Now not justing adding or removing meat is easy, instant, but so too using the larger capacity of the dropin for various cooking projects, but for leftover soup without overfilling the little freezer. I think it will help with more quickly setting cranberry jelly as well.  Very nice.

The place looks festive.  Not... really my thing, and yet pleasant.  Even if it is mostly for her, I can apprecite the decor and her happiness with it.

Well, on to some food, feeding the girls, setting up water, and a few things like that.  A shower would be splendid, after the chilling fever of days.  Will find out what is possible shortly.  Later, or goodnight.