Dreams.

.

.

A set of them... three.

In the first, I was an older woman.  Early to mid fifties, single.  Working, but not in a real career.  Never married, no children, currently alone.  A doctor appointment and potentially dark news.  Cervical cancer?  I had to look it up.  Not sure which stage, or treatment plan, as of the dream.  Just... realizing... I was alone, poorish, and in possible serious trouble.

In the next dream, or portion?  I was an older mechanic.  Car?  Plant?  Again, not career, just employed, if partly self employed... Think shop employee and shade tree mechanic.  Married, with grown children.

Again, an illness.  This time not sure what was wrong.  Heart?  Liver?  The doctors weren't yet sure.  By symptoms and pain, at least, I wasn't currently able to work.  More, my wife of forty years started talking divorce.  Why?  I couldn't tell, from the dream.  Didn't want to deal with my situation?  Perhaps already had a guy in mind, or more?

In the final dream, I dreamed of an older guy, with many illnesses.  He was stable, if lame mostly.  It was warming up, so he wanted to sleep outdoors.  But his neighbor kept overwatering, with his sprinkler, onto the area he had set up his sleeping bag.

After a bit of fuss, and a few discussions, he finally got that stopped and began enjoying sleeping outdoors.  Then I realized that last dream was me!  How odd.

I'll tell you what, no matter my convictions, beliefs, values?  I had great empathy for those other folk.  The world sure seems to want to kick you, and doubly so, when you are down.  But, I tell you this... from multiple first hand experiences?  As alone as you can be, living here on earth?  As tough as things can get?  You are never so alone as when you die.

Don't give in to your doubts, fears, loneliness.  Pray a little, or better a lot.  But do that while in health, wealth, and youth.  Just carry that with you.  When you hear of another suffering, friend or enemy, pray for them.  Not just that they might be cured, or made whole, but that they may learn to suffer well, basking even then in God's love.  And that they may be ready for that sweet, or hard, release and call home, no matter how humbled we might become before that last grace.

A coup de grace isn't always... a bad thing.  In time, it is hoped, that it might be seen as a great gift.  One even God suffers to offer.  Remember when your parent(s) punished you?  And suggested that it hurt them more than it hurt you?  And you thought... che-right?  But, in time, had to punish one you loved only to realize the truth of what your parent had said?  Think now upon the suffering God goes through at your death.  Trust me on this.  Amen.