.
.
Good or bad, up or down, regardless of how much I get done compared to how much I intend to do, when I push it wears me out. I need a few days, at least, each week, where I can set plans aside, not push, and just rest. God gave us Sunday, but He also gave most people health. Even so, when most have their choice, they take Saturday too. While it seems like I take midweek days off, I really don't. I usually have plans for that day, even if they don't happen. Or little plans. Further, even without plans, if the mood hits and something seems obvious, I go ahead and hit that. Tonight, if I can, for example, there is trash to take out, maybe recycling, and cat litter. Little else is likely, and what is proposed isn't guaranteed. However, if I don't do it tonight, the hope is that I will do it early tomorrow.
Tomorrow I need off. I have been doing, or planning, or traveling, or all and more, all week, right into Saturday. At least the event Saturday, for me, was light. I didn't have to drive, and everyone was focused on everything but me, and didn't really have the time or space to just sit, so... for a social event, it was rather easy. The walking was very slow. If anything would have gotten to me, it would have been that. It did, short term, but it wasn't a problem on into today. And it was mild, as the pace wasn't extremely slow. Yeah, I know, I'm particular. Or, really, my body is.
The girls are getting, slowly, used to being fed once a day. To mitigate things, I am offering them treats in the later afternoon, every day. I will slowly ween them off those, too, at least daily. A few times a week is more than enough for treats. Or, when I am celebrating. Happy times when the treats flow! I even let them sleep with me last night, to see if they would be... problematic. Not at all, surprisingly, mostly. I will still keep that to just once in a while, or they will begin causing problems. As with treats, when it is occasional, it is appreciated. I've almost got them trained, as much as cats can be trained.
I still can't believe, sometimes, how well I am doing for my condition. Remembering the guys, of my age, being carted in by their wives or whoever, into the heart clinic. Most of them were on oxygen, some where brought in sitting wheelchairs. Given the condition of my heart, they couldn't be in worse shape. They might have other conditions, too, though. I don't do extremely well, actually poorly, according to the general gist of how living is supposed to be. It is only when you add perspective that it seems my life is miraculously good. And I still hope for improvement. It's doubtful, but not without some hope.
Yes, a few days of relaxation. Healthy and well enough to push through a tough game. Eating a bit of rice or quinoa, perhaps amaranth. I might simply add a can of tuna to some of it, not wanting to cook fish all of the time. I'm not sure what other meats would steam well, and within the 1/4 to 1/2 hour time? I won't mess with amaranth much, as it goes bad quickly. But, as an occasional touch, perhaps added to the others, it might do well. I'll have to think about it. I don't like steamed chicken breast, it dries out far too much. Hmm...
Anyway... That is it for today, and tomorrow. Just rest, relaxation, sleep, and fun.
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Up and at it.
.
.
I've been up for a bit now, actually. I did sleep late, but then I went to bed late... I think. Last night is a blur. I've been pushing a lot of things, and not just physically. Planning, organizing, working, tinkering. Sometimes interconnected, sometimes in little side projects, most of it with some sort of time stamp. I am not doing everything I want, maybe not even everything I could, technically. Yet I may be doing more than I should, definitely more than I thought I could, if I am still not happy. I drive the beast that is my flesh as hard as I can. Well... today is a day off. I have visitors arriving later, just in a bit really. But that isn't a burden. Mostly, today, it is about relaxing and gaming, most likely.
I do feel the efforts of this last week. A few days out, a larger project, a bunch of business done and more to come, little efforts here and there, planning, gauging, shuffling, and doing. I am tired. As I have mentioned, though, this is the type of tired, and sore, and aching, that I like. I hope to be done with the negatives, and be back to functioning by Tuesday. No promises. If I can't get up, though, guess what? I won't. I want to take care of business Tuesday, then shooting Wednesday, if possible. We'll see. The rest of next week will be about figuring out, and cleaning, the cave... with a strong emphasis on getting the garage and work shop area arranged.
Well... on with... relaxing until company arrives. Good day.
.
I've been up for a bit now, actually. I did sleep late, but then I went to bed late... I think. Last night is a blur. I've been pushing a lot of things, and not just physically. Planning, organizing, working, tinkering. Sometimes interconnected, sometimes in little side projects, most of it with some sort of time stamp. I am not doing everything I want, maybe not even everything I could, technically. Yet I may be doing more than I should, definitely more than I thought I could, if I am still not happy. I drive the beast that is my flesh as hard as I can. Well... today is a day off. I have visitors arriving later, just in a bit really. But that isn't a burden. Mostly, today, it is about relaxing and gaming, most likely.
I do feel the efforts of this last week. A few days out, a larger project, a bunch of business done and more to come, little efforts here and there, planning, gauging, shuffling, and doing. I am tired. As I have mentioned, though, this is the type of tired, and sore, and aching, that I like. I hope to be done with the negatives, and be back to functioning by Tuesday. No promises. If I can't get up, though, guess what? I won't. I want to take care of business Tuesday, then shooting Wednesday, if possible. We'll see. The rest of next week will be about figuring out, and cleaning, the cave... with a strong emphasis on getting the garage and work shop area arranged.
Well... on with... relaxing until company arrives. Good day.
Saturday, August 30, 2014
Good day.
.
.
I did have to push it, but was ready easily in time. A trip from morning to early afternoon, with a meal in there. Love free meals, even if they cost coin. At least once in a while. A fine conversation. Imagine, if you will, a Mormon burner. A bit more stated, from an earlier generation perhaps. But the notion is there. There is much that seems common, and much that is different. When asked about the most recent pope, I suggested that, while he has brass, I don't abide him. He is a socialist and socialists can't be Christians. *raised eyebrows* Yep.
He did raise a solid... contention. But, thankfully, one I have considered easily already. But, won't heaven be socialist? Aye? Not a chance. No one in heaven, or on the new earth, will need. We will be self-sufficient, and able, and know our places. If we go back to the living of the Garden of Eden, we won't even be required to sustain ourselves by the sweat of our brow. A penalty for choosing to do what God said not to do. As well, if women still bear children, there would be no pain. So, ideally, perhaps the spirit of socialism will be there, if I can't see a reason for a theory in a place and time where there is not need. Further, the kingdom of heaven is more like a literal kingdom. It has a King. I think, however, that too will pass. In those future days, God will be Father and brother, the Holy Spirit will have a specific role then... most likely protecting the imperfect, by choice, souls from destruction through access to Grace. The Holy Spirit will become the chasm, and fiery case, for hell. Yeah, no. I went through this long ago, when, as a youth, I was trying to figure out how to hold out for socialism. It won't even exist. A few minutes later I queried if he considered himself a socialist... No, no, not really. Bad timing on the question, mind you. But my answer is the same, and would have been, in any case.
Of course, that was just one part of the conversation. Much else was discussed. He was a bit surprised to learn that I had read the New Testament by 10, 9 or 10. No, Doom wasn't a normal little boy. I wasn't qutie a freak, either, one way or the other. I was comparing and contrasting. I read Mein Kampf at 11 or 12, studied history from 12 to 14 which is why I turned from crony capitalist socialism... already having turned away from populist forms of socialism which are also known as forms of communism. I was a busy lad. I felt obliged to try to figure things out. I then, for later, until I returned to God in my thirties, drifted. I realized there wasn't a secular order, or means of ordering life. Even as my life was falling apart, I was sparring for a heaven on earth, secular truth, or even a way to heaven that didn't require God. In other words, I went down every blind alley, every dead end, every mistaken belief, until I realized there simply isn't a back way to heaven, and no man-made or earthly way. Them's was a lot of hard miles, boys and girls.
I understand. Some people have not had the freedom to truly explore so many venues, ideas, even to put some of them into actual play in their lives and explore with serious study, others who have chosen other paths. Hitler, Lenin, communes here in America in the 60's and 70's, earlier in Israel and for the Jews in pre-WWII Germany. None of them went as planned, succeeded, or were even good. They became hellholes, the worst of which ended up in Jim Jones type communist cults and dead or ruined. Hellbound. There is no way to God save through the Son, with the blessing of the Holy Spirit. Never, ever, think otherwise. And don't mistake the fruits of this world for the fruits of the next, or think one equates to the other. Even should a rich man become the camel that seeks and solves the eye of the needle, his blessings were spent, here, most likely. Still...
After the trip and talk, plus the busy week, I was tired. Oh, I tried not to be snarky. I think this man is truly trying to understand, and fit it all together, like everyone else. Just saying... Anyway, I took a good, long, hard, nap. I needed it too. In it, many dreams. I had a woman whispering sweet nothings in one ear, with promises I doubted if she could keep but didn't mind right at the moment, and God whispering in one ear about loyalty, duty, and responsibility, that comes with freedom. The other whispers were so fine, I didn't take any umbrage with God laying on the Fatherly advice. It was more like... "Where do I SIGN"? Heh. Never mind. There were a lot of nicely dressed woman today. Pleasant, mostly, and prettied for a social affair. I'm sure that had nothing, no thing, to do with it at all. Gah! I still think God cheats when it comes to some things. Thankfully, he cheats for both sides, and against our willful, wanderlust, sinful, nature... somehow. If we just let Him, He cheats against us by cheating for us, an somehow in all of our favor. I REALLY want to learn that trick. :)
Well... on to... something. I am thawing a few more fish. I have a better idea of how long it takes to cook that part, and will have it with quinoa this time. From my experiments with the stuff, it takes about as long as brown rice to cook... so... thirty minutes, and more water than white rice (so I can't cook three cups... which are their cups, so not even actual cups (3/4 cups, I believe). The fish takes about 15 minutes to steam. So, half way through, via a timer, and give or take, while I am stirring the seed or grain anyway, I just add the fish then. It's a wonderful little kit. And all I have to clean is the bowl and the rice scoop, plus a fork. Paper plates, baby! And, more Dark Souls.
I am enjoying Dark Souls. Frustrating, aye. But interesting, so far. I have played several characters, though will be erasing one and starting another. It's not that I believe I messed up beyond recall, it's just that... I didn't quite get it right. I took some bad advice and that cost me. But no more than a blind run through would have, perhaps less. I had a springboard of wrong, for my play style and such, from which to compare and contrast. It is truly one of the more painful, unforgiving, frustrating games I have enjoyed in a very long time. I'm tricky this way, in that I do figure it out... if only eventually. However, some of it can't be figured out until... hmm... until enough practice, trial, and error. Lots and lots of painful error... another name, in this game, for lots and lots of personal/character death and lots and lots of figuring out how to not do what seems impossible to not do, at first. And all the great advice... "While you are running back to your corpse, figure out why you died." ... "While you are dying, think about what, exactly, killed you... again, again, again." Heh... *punch on the nose* Think about not being cute! Oh, I know. And they are right. It's just that "right" doesn't salve hurt feelings, anger, and such. Yeah, a bit more of the game, after I get the quinoa (kwin-wa) going... if the fish are thawed.
Later.
.
I did have to push it, but was ready easily in time. A trip from morning to early afternoon, with a meal in there. Love free meals, even if they cost coin. At least once in a while. A fine conversation. Imagine, if you will, a Mormon burner. A bit more stated, from an earlier generation perhaps. But the notion is there. There is much that seems common, and much that is different. When asked about the most recent pope, I suggested that, while he has brass, I don't abide him. He is a socialist and socialists can't be Christians. *raised eyebrows* Yep.
He did raise a solid... contention. But, thankfully, one I have considered easily already. But, won't heaven be socialist? Aye? Not a chance. No one in heaven, or on the new earth, will need. We will be self-sufficient, and able, and know our places. If we go back to the living of the Garden of Eden, we won't even be required to sustain ourselves by the sweat of our brow. A penalty for choosing to do what God said not to do. As well, if women still bear children, there would be no pain. So, ideally, perhaps the spirit of socialism will be there, if I can't see a reason for a theory in a place and time where there is not need. Further, the kingdom of heaven is more like a literal kingdom. It has a King. I think, however, that too will pass. In those future days, God will be Father and brother, the Holy Spirit will have a specific role then... most likely protecting the imperfect, by choice, souls from destruction through access to Grace. The Holy Spirit will become the chasm, and fiery case, for hell. Yeah, no. I went through this long ago, when, as a youth, I was trying to figure out how to hold out for socialism. It won't even exist. A few minutes later I queried if he considered himself a socialist... No, no, not really. Bad timing on the question, mind you. But my answer is the same, and would have been, in any case.
Of course, that was just one part of the conversation. Much else was discussed. He was a bit surprised to learn that I had read the New Testament by 10, 9 or 10. No, Doom wasn't a normal little boy. I wasn't qutie a freak, either, one way or the other. I was comparing and contrasting. I read Mein Kampf at 11 or 12, studied history from 12 to 14 which is why I turned from crony capitalist socialism... already having turned away from populist forms of socialism which are also known as forms of communism. I was a busy lad. I felt obliged to try to figure things out. I then, for later, until I returned to God in my thirties, drifted. I realized there wasn't a secular order, or means of ordering life. Even as my life was falling apart, I was sparring for a heaven on earth, secular truth, or even a way to heaven that didn't require God. In other words, I went down every blind alley, every dead end, every mistaken belief, until I realized there simply isn't a back way to heaven, and no man-made or earthly way. Them's was a lot of hard miles, boys and girls.
I understand. Some people have not had the freedom to truly explore so many venues, ideas, even to put some of them into actual play in their lives and explore with serious study, others who have chosen other paths. Hitler, Lenin, communes here in America in the 60's and 70's, earlier in Israel and for the Jews in pre-WWII Germany. None of them went as planned, succeeded, or were even good. They became hellholes, the worst of which ended up in Jim Jones type communist cults and dead or ruined. Hellbound. There is no way to God save through the Son, with the blessing of the Holy Spirit. Never, ever, think otherwise. And don't mistake the fruits of this world for the fruits of the next, or think one equates to the other. Even should a rich man become the camel that seeks and solves the eye of the needle, his blessings were spent, here, most likely. Still...
After the trip and talk, plus the busy week, I was tired. Oh, I tried not to be snarky. I think this man is truly trying to understand, and fit it all together, like everyone else. Just saying... Anyway, I took a good, long, hard, nap. I needed it too. In it, many dreams. I had a woman whispering sweet nothings in one ear, with promises I doubted if she could keep but didn't mind right at the moment, and God whispering in one ear about loyalty, duty, and responsibility, that comes with freedom. The other whispers were so fine, I didn't take any umbrage with God laying on the Fatherly advice. It was more like... "Where do I SIGN"? Heh. Never mind. There were a lot of nicely dressed woman today. Pleasant, mostly, and prettied for a social affair. I'm sure that had nothing, no thing, to do with it at all. Gah! I still think God cheats when it comes to some things. Thankfully, he cheats for both sides, and against our willful, wanderlust, sinful, nature... somehow. If we just let Him, He cheats against us by cheating for us, an somehow in all of our favor. I REALLY want to learn that trick. :)
Well... on to... something. I am thawing a few more fish. I have a better idea of how long it takes to cook that part, and will have it with quinoa this time. From my experiments with the stuff, it takes about as long as brown rice to cook... so... thirty minutes, and more water than white rice (so I can't cook three cups... which are their cups, so not even actual cups (3/4 cups, I believe). The fish takes about 15 minutes to steam. So, half way through, via a timer, and give or take, while I am stirring the seed or grain anyway, I just add the fish then. It's a wonderful little kit. And all I have to clean is the bowl and the rice scoop, plus a fork. Paper plates, baby! And, more Dark Souls.
I am enjoying Dark Souls. Frustrating, aye. But interesting, so far. I have played several characters, though will be erasing one and starting another. It's not that I believe I messed up beyond recall, it's just that... I didn't quite get it right. I took some bad advice and that cost me. But no more than a blind run through would have, perhaps less. I had a springboard of wrong, for my play style and such, from which to compare and contrast. It is truly one of the more painful, unforgiving, frustrating games I have enjoyed in a very long time. I'm tricky this way, in that I do figure it out... if only eventually. However, some of it can't be figured out until... hmm... until enough practice, trial, and error. Lots and lots of painful error... another name, in this game, for lots and lots of personal/character death and lots and lots of figuring out how to not do what seems impossible to not do, at first. And all the great advice... "While you are running back to your corpse, figure out why you died." ... "While you are dying, think about what, exactly, killed you... again, again, again." Heh... *punch on the nose* Think about not being cute! Oh, I know. And they are right. It's just that "right" doesn't salve hurt feelings, anger, and such. Yeah, a bit more of the game, after I get the quinoa (kwin-wa) going... if the fish are thawed.
Later.
Ready already.
.
.
I won't be driving, so there is that. As with most trips, especially if it has been a while, sleep the night before is difficult. I did get some rest and some sleep in. I am as rested as I can be. It should be just fine though.
I dreamed many dreams in my various sleep sessions last night but nothing solid remains. A few ideas might be in there, somewhere. If I can snag the lines too them, and fill them out a bit. Some of the ideas were, from what little I could remember, perfect blog fodder.
It's time. Good day.
.
I won't be driving, so there is that. As with most trips, especially if it has been a while, sleep the night before is difficult. I did get some rest and some sleep in. I am as rested as I can be. It should be just fine though.
I dreamed many dreams in my various sleep sessions last night but nothing solid remains. A few ideas might be in there, somewhere. If I can snag the lines too them, and fill them out a bit. Some of the ideas were, from what little I could remember, perfect blog fodder.
It's time. Good day.
Friday, August 29, 2014
Well, I did put in the effort.
.
.
I was just moving too slow. I was too easily distracted. So I won't be making it to town today. I got a shower in, tried on the new pants then dressed, stowed some ammo, then looked at the clock. Too late. The places I need to visit will be closed Monday, and I had suggested I would go shooting Tuesday. I think I will have to postpone the shoot. I'm in grace period for some things, and I don't like that status. If nothing else, when I finish with work, I can still take my friend for a meal, then plan to go shooting Wednesday. It's... what I can do.
The jeans seemed okay. They haven't been washed, so... But they seem pretty much what I remember. The hiking/tactical pants seem a bit fragile. Now, thinner, sometimes, is nice... for hiking, or even shooting. I'm not going to say they are what I had hoped, but I will give them a chance. And they do fit just right. The ammo cans are wonderful things. Every shooter I have known has had many of these, for the most part. It's just one of those things... tradition... but with reason. They are quite heavy, when filled. I think, though, that the weight is a part of the appeal. Weighty things should weigh a lot? Something like that.
I am a bit worn though. I suppose a day down isn't a bad thing, even with the weekend coming up. It will be a split weekend, perhaps, anyway. Oh, and something Sunday, too, if rather lighter. Yes, yes, I try to stay on top of these things. I'm not good at it, but I do try. Another use of the pumice stone on my feet today, as well. It'll... take a while. I have a few spots that are harder than regular stone, and quite built up. My heels are really smoothing out, but I can tell they are still quite thick. The palm of one of my feet, and a callus on one toe, along with the heels, will take a dozen hits just to make them feel human again.
Just blathering as I prepare to relax. I suppose I could make some calls, order some medicine, set up an appointment, and check on another appointment. Then... rest. But all dressed up, clean, with new pants, and... a smile. I don't have anything, other than moving a bit too slowly, to grump about. And moving too slowly, today, makes perfect sense, so it doesn't due for as a cause to be unhappy. But having nothing to grump about, itself, might be the cause de celebre for a right proper grump? When frugal by necessity, let not even a full pot cause one to make waste? :) Never mind, though I hope you got that.
Well, yes, on to some phone calls. Later.
-------------
I love it when a plan comes together. Right after writing the above, I was on the phone to order medicine when the doorbell rang. My trip tomorrow is now set. Checking on that was one of my calls, so all good. After, I ordered my medicines and am just waking to make an appointment with my g.p., I think. But it's getting pretty close to closing time, so I'm not sure I will get through. Tick tock. Time... where does that stuff go? I'll bet when you find all those lost socks, keys, and wallets, you will find all of the time that gets lost, here and there!
Finally. Got through, set up the appointment, and set. Fasting blood work is required, and it is an afternoon appointment... so... I might just let myself sleep in just a bit that day. If at home, I can go without food for great lengths of time. But when I get out there... I smell restaurants blocks, sometimes miles, away. Even seemingly burnt toast smells good, when I haven't eaten. Yeah, a bit of a sleep in, then on to the appointment. I told the operator my plan, she liked it... got a chuckle. All good.
.
I was just moving too slow. I was too easily distracted. So I won't be making it to town today. I got a shower in, tried on the new pants then dressed, stowed some ammo, then looked at the clock. Too late. The places I need to visit will be closed Monday, and I had suggested I would go shooting Tuesday. I think I will have to postpone the shoot. I'm in grace period for some things, and I don't like that status. If nothing else, when I finish with work, I can still take my friend for a meal, then plan to go shooting Wednesday. It's... what I can do.
The jeans seemed okay. They haven't been washed, so... But they seem pretty much what I remember. The hiking/tactical pants seem a bit fragile. Now, thinner, sometimes, is nice... for hiking, or even shooting. I'm not going to say they are what I had hoped, but I will give them a chance. And they do fit just right. The ammo cans are wonderful things. Every shooter I have known has had many of these, for the most part. It's just one of those things... tradition... but with reason. They are quite heavy, when filled. I think, though, that the weight is a part of the appeal. Weighty things should weigh a lot? Something like that.
I am a bit worn though. I suppose a day down isn't a bad thing, even with the weekend coming up. It will be a split weekend, perhaps, anyway. Oh, and something Sunday, too, if rather lighter. Yes, yes, I try to stay on top of these things. I'm not good at it, but I do try. Another use of the pumice stone on my feet today, as well. It'll... take a while. I have a few spots that are harder than regular stone, and quite built up. My heels are really smoothing out, but I can tell they are still quite thick. The palm of one of my feet, and a callus on one toe, along with the heels, will take a dozen hits just to make them feel human again.
Just blathering as I prepare to relax. I suppose I could make some calls, order some medicine, set up an appointment, and check on another appointment. Then... rest. But all dressed up, clean, with new pants, and... a smile. I don't have anything, other than moving a bit too slowly, to grump about. And moving too slowly, today, makes perfect sense, so it doesn't due for as a cause to be unhappy. But having nothing to grump about, itself, might be the cause de celebre for a right proper grump? When frugal by necessity, let not even a full pot cause one to make waste? :) Never mind, though I hope you got that.
Well, yes, on to some phone calls. Later.
-------------
I love it when a plan comes together. Right after writing the above, I was on the phone to order medicine when the doorbell rang. My trip tomorrow is now set. Checking on that was one of my calls, so all good. After, I ordered my medicines and am just waking to make an appointment with my g.p., I think. But it's getting pretty close to closing time, so I'm not sure I will get through. Tick tock. Time... where does that stuff go? I'll bet when you find all those lost socks, keys, and wallets, you will find all of the time that gets lost, here and there!
Finally. Got through, set up the appointment, and set. Fasting blood work is required, and it is an afternoon appointment... so... I might just let myself sleep in just a bit that day. If at home, I can go without food for great lengths of time. But when I get out there... I smell restaurants blocks, sometimes miles, away. Even seemingly burnt toast smells good, when I haven't eaten. Yeah, a bit of a sleep in, then on to the appointment. I told the operator my plan, she liked it... got a chuckle. All good.
Gearing up.
.
.
After a bit of a hiatus in future planning, due to... prepping in areas of... future planning... Oh... never mind. In any case, after focusing on a few areas in a way that might seem excessive, but wasn't if you understand things well, I got to a few other areas this month. One of those areas was clothing. Pants, like many things, don't seem to be all that much of a problem. That is, until access becomes denied, or much more difficult. So, those were on the menu as a general look-see for sales and availability. This month, next month, a sooner rather than later sort of thing.
Actually I had just spoken to a friend about blue jeans. He liked Wranglers, as did I at one time. When Wranglers, in my opinion, went to the dogs and became just an overly priced, lower quality, brand name, I switched to Lees, then Levis, as the brands failed, or proved weak, I kept on... walking. Finally I sort of quit, and bought whatever was cheapest, because brand quality deteriorated, or wasn't there when I tried them. Cheap was, of course cheap, but why pay high prices for just as cheaply made name brands? I was looking for quality, and not finding it. So... cheap. In my various samplings, I hit on Cabela's jeans. No, not the ones that are loose fit for fat boys. While I am a fat boy, to my way of thinking, my fat is where it belongs. I don't need extra hip, thigh, or such. Just a little... bigger shirts. Actually, not even that, because of my general build. My shoulders are large enough, and chest, that... there is always room enough for my belly.
Cabela's jeans, when I first found them, were about $20 a pair! That was back in Iowa, when Levis were running $60~$80, or maybe $45~$60 on sale, if memory serves. So I pulled the trigger, thinking, even if they only lasted a few years, like the more expensive jeans, I would be fine. Couldn't lose, unless they literally fell apart right away. Some cheap jeans did fall apart that quickly. If so, though, then I had something to bitch about. And you know me and my like of having something for that, on tap, as often as possible. Daily, people, daily. These jeans impressed me, initially. Well built, comfortable, the color lasted. The first two years of wearing them, I just couldn't believe the quality at the price. Here it is, seven, eight, maybe ten years later and... I am still wearing the original jeans I bought, but not as old jeans. They look almost as good as when I bought them.
The problem? I bought several different sizes, through time. At the time I was wearing 44's and 42's, and a few 40's as my "skinny" jeans. Through time I bought a few pair of 38's. The 44's are unwearable now, the 42's feel like waders but if I cinch my belt I can look like a homeless man, but the 38's just don't quite make it all the way up (yet?). Remember, back then, I wasn't on a water pill, so my size varied greatly, and sometimes changed very fast. The size of these jeans is vital, as the fit is pretty absolute. Anyway, having two pair that fit right, and six pair that didn't, left me always washing, and looking. So I bought three more pair of 40's. The rest will be retired to storage, just in case, saved for trade, or even just as material supplies. And in as good of condition as they were bought, pretty much. And, the jeans I bought were on sale... for $21. Heh. I also bought a couple of hiking/tactical pants through Cabela's, also on sale, a type I have been considering for years. The price was very right.
Actually, this all came about from a sale on metal ammunition cans locally. I planned to buy a few, and saw them "on sale" downtown, for $20 per. Which, from what else I have seen, was a decent price. But I have been, slowly, learning that looking around is a good idea. So I did. I went online, and saw a sale on them for $14 per, on one supplier outlet store. Then, thinking about pants and my conversation with my friend, I wanted to see if Cabela's carried these, and the current price for the jeans, while looking the ammo cans. My jeans situation has been an annoyance since shortly after I moved here, and definitely since starting the water pill. Yep... that saved me from having to deal with a new company, and then I noticed the sale on pants to boot. Done, done, and done. Never enough, mind you. The ammo cans are a start to a proper storage system for all that. But I now know what a good, and what an excellent, price is, and to look around.
The cave might be a mess, I might have a dozen and more projects half in and out of here and there, there are promises I have made that I can't seem to keep, the cat's litter needs changed, and I may never be caught up, but... a few things, as I can, are being tended. I love me some blue jeans, especially at that price and quality. I just need to try them on, make sure I got the sizes just right and the fit is the same, then... a shower and to town. Yeah... But I had to open the boxes, then do just a bit of advertising, bragging, and such. Later.
-----------------
By the way... I do not work for Cabela's, I do not make money from their sales, of jeans or anything else. I don't even fully trust Cabela's. Something... odd about them. I merely do business with them. A bit out of habit, a bit out of the notion of what they seem to stand for, they seem to be reasonable business partners, and any time I find quality, I trumpet it. Especially when it is very reasonably priced and, to this point, very solid quality. No, I don't even trust my mom, completely, on everything. So, don't take that little neg as anything more than my own... quirk. Get your own damned paranoias and leave me to mine. Just thought I'd clear the air and do some target practice while at it. :p
.
After a bit of a hiatus in future planning, due to... prepping in areas of... future planning... Oh... never mind. In any case, after focusing on a few areas in a way that might seem excessive, but wasn't if you understand things well, I got to a few other areas this month. One of those areas was clothing. Pants, like many things, don't seem to be all that much of a problem. That is, until access becomes denied, or much more difficult. So, those were on the menu as a general look-see for sales and availability. This month, next month, a sooner rather than later sort of thing.
Actually I had just spoken to a friend about blue jeans. He liked Wranglers, as did I at one time. When Wranglers, in my opinion, went to the dogs and became just an overly priced, lower quality, brand name, I switched to Lees, then Levis, as the brands failed, or proved weak, I kept on... walking. Finally I sort of quit, and bought whatever was cheapest, because brand quality deteriorated, or wasn't there when I tried them. Cheap was, of course cheap, but why pay high prices for just as cheaply made name brands? I was looking for quality, and not finding it. So... cheap. In my various samplings, I hit on Cabela's jeans. No, not the ones that are loose fit for fat boys. While I am a fat boy, to my way of thinking, my fat is where it belongs. I don't need extra hip, thigh, or such. Just a little... bigger shirts. Actually, not even that, because of my general build. My shoulders are large enough, and chest, that... there is always room enough for my belly.
Cabela's jeans, when I first found them, were about $20 a pair! That was back in Iowa, when Levis were running $60~$80, or maybe $45~$60 on sale, if memory serves. So I pulled the trigger, thinking, even if they only lasted a few years, like the more expensive jeans, I would be fine. Couldn't lose, unless they literally fell apart right away. Some cheap jeans did fall apart that quickly. If so, though, then I had something to bitch about. And you know me and my like of having something for that, on tap, as often as possible. Daily, people, daily. These jeans impressed me, initially. Well built, comfortable, the color lasted. The first two years of wearing them, I just couldn't believe the quality at the price. Here it is, seven, eight, maybe ten years later and... I am still wearing the original jeans I bought, but not as old jeans. They look almost as good as when I bought them.
The problem? I bought several different sizes, through time. At the time I was wearing 44's and 42's, and a few 40's as my "skinny" jeans. Through time I bought a few pair of 38's. The 44's are unwearable now, the 42's feel like waders but if I cinch my belt I can look like a homeless man, but the 38's just don't quite make it all the way up (yet?). Remember, back then, I wasn't on a water pill, so my size varied greatly, and sometimes changed very fast. The size of these jeans is vital, as the fit is pretty absolute. Anyway, having two pair that fit right, and six pair that didn't, left me always washing, and looking. So I bought three more pair of 40's. The rest will be retired to storage, just in case, saved for trade, or even just as material supplies. And in as good of condition as they were bought, pretty much. And, the jeans I bought were on sale... for $21. Heh. I also bought a couple of hiking/tactical pants through Cabela's, also on sale, a type I have been considering for years. The price was very right.
Actually, this all came about from a sale on metal ammunition cans locally. I planned to buy a few, and saw them "on sale" downtown, for $20 per. Which, from what else I have seen, was a decent price. But I have been, slowly, learning that looking around is a good idea. So I did. I went online, and saw a sale on them for $14 per, on one supplier outlet store. Then, thinking about pants and my conversation with my friend, I wanted to see if Cabela's carried these, and the current price for the jeans, while looking the ammo cans. My jeans situation has been an annoyance since shortly after I moved here, and definitely since starting the water pill. Yep... that saved me from having to deal with a new company, and then I noticed the sale on pants to boot. Done, done, and done. Never enough, mind you. The ammo cans are a start to a proper storage system for all that. But I now know what a good, and what an excellent, price is, and to look around.
The cave might be a mess, I might have a dozen and more projects half in and out of here and there, there are promises I have made that I can't seem to keep, the cat's litter needs changed, and I may never be caught up, but... a few things, as I can, are being tended. I love me some blue jeans, especially at that price and quality. I just need to try them on, make sure I got the sizes just right and the fit is the same, then... a shower and to town. Yeah... But I had to open the boxes, then do just a bit of advertising, bragging, and such. Later.
-----------------
By the way... I do not work for Cabela's, I do not make money from their sales, of jeans or anything else. I don't even fully trust Cabela's. Something... odd about them. I merely do business with them. A bit out of habit, a bit out of the notion of what they seem to stand for, they seem to be reasonable business partners, and any time I find quality, I trumpet it. Especially when it is very reasonably priced and, to this point, very solid quality. No, I don't even trust my mom, completely, on everything. So, don't take that little neg as anything more than my own... quirk. Get your own damned paranoias and leave me to mine. Just thought I'd clear the air and do some target practice while at it. :p
Not exactly stellar.
.
.
But it WAS morning when I finally got out of bed. Some time after 10:00, perhaps a bit past 11:00. Considering I didn't get to bed until after 2:00, as it turned out, and have been burning both ends of my very weak candle, then trying to light a fire in the middle too, I won't complain. And, aye, I am sore. Roughly feeling like I was run over, sort of everywhere, with a particular spiked sensation in the upper middle of my spine, just between the base of my neck and the middle of my shoulder blades. And, actually, it feels great. This is pain an old, underutilized, overweight, most dead body feels after it has been pushed to it's current upper margins, maybe even it's maximums, and not just once, but for a period of time.
While I am greatly underwhelmed at my accomplishments even so, the sensation is a form of... proof of penance. I have high expectations. When I, or others, honest hurt all over, I know... I at the stage where pushing will do some actual good. Some say pain isn't gain. That gain can be had through math, or physics, or tech. Some don't know what gain is. Some also don't know what a really enemy is, what the environment without modern conveniences is, or what is coming. I've seen those things in my past and in the future. If you want to know, part of it, just for a week in the summer and in the winter, turn off electricity and the gas to your home, use your feet, a horse, or a bike to go everywhere and do everything, don't turn on your computer or smart phone, and then we will talk. More? Then go live somewhere people are starving, and immoral. Enemies aren't always enemies by choice. But an enemy is an enemy. I won't challenge you to go where you could get shot, that training has... costs you probably aren't able to suss a learning from and survive. But... that is on the way. So, when it hurts like this, I try to figure out how to push just a little further.
When I woke, I honestly thought about not going to town. It wasn't that I was too sore, or tired. It was more that I woke still a bit grumpy. And I thought I might want to not keep pushing. Then I realized Monday is a holiday, so I will get more of a rest than I would have wanted. Plus, I realized that pushing while tired is what it will take. So, after a few hours of waking, and a shower, I will get in to town and figure things out, and have another easy meal, with a friend. Like? What's not to like about taking care of my affairs and stretching? I think I will shower right away, so that I have plenty of time to airdry. I like that little feature. Putting socks on, right after a shower, means soggy feet. Air dry, all I'm saying.
Oh, and I received something suggesting I make an appointment, and I need to order some stuff anyway, so a few phone calls as well today. And I need to check on a possible trip, for tomorrow. Yes, yes... then I get Sunday and Monday down, then I am already planning for an outing Tuesday, give or take. I am missing some things, but doing all, and more, than I thought I could even so. Only so much I can do and I am doing that and more already. Choices. And, yeah, it hurts all over. Bending over to pick up all of the brass, and shortly after a meal, removing, reinstalling, removing again, and laying the toilet in, and doing something nearly daily this week... The body is as grumpy as the mind was yesterday. Yum! Later.
.
But it WAS morning when I finally got out of bed. Some time after 10:00, perhaps a bit past 11:00. Considering I didn't get to bed until after 2:00, as it turned out, and have been burning both ends of my very weak candle, then trying to light a fire in the middle too, I won't complain. And, aye, I am sore. Roughly feeling like I was run over, sort of everywhere, with a particular spiked sensation in the upper middle of my spine, just between the base of my neck and the middle of my shoulder blades. And, actually, it feels great. This is pain an old, underutilized, overweight, most dead body feels after it has been pushed to it's current upper margins, maybe even it's maximums, and not just once, but for a period of time.
While I am greatly underwhelmed at my accomplishments even so, the sensation is a form of... proof of penance. I have high expectations. When I, or others, honest hurt all over, I know... I at the stage where pushing will do some actual good. Some say pain isn't gain. That gain can be had through math, or physics, or tech. Some don't know what gain is. Some also don't know what a really enemy is, what the environment without modern conveniences is, or what is coming. I've seen those things in my past and in the future. If you want to know, part of it, just for a week in the summer and in the winter, turn off electricity and the gas to your home, use your feet, a horse, or a bike to go everywhere and do everything, don't turn on your computer or smart phone, and then we will talk. More? Then go live somewhere people are starving, and immoral. Enemies aren't always enemies by choice. But an enemy is an enemy. I won't challenge you to go where you could get shot, that training has... costs you probably aren't able to suss a learning from and survive. But... that is on the way. So, when it hurts like this, I try to figure out how to push just a little further.
When I woke, I honestly thought about not going to town. It wasn't that I was too sore, or tired. It was more that I woke still a bit grumpy. And I thought I might want to not keep pushing. Then I realized Monday is a holiday, so I will get more of a rest than I would have wanted. Plus, I realized that pushing while tired is what it will take. So, after a few hours of waking, and a shower, I will get in to town and figure things out, and have another easy meal, with a friend. Like? What's not to like about taking care of my affairs and stretching? I think I will shower right away, so that I have plenty of time to airdry. I like that little feature. Putting socks on, right after a shower, means soggy feet. Air dry, all I'm saying.
Oh, and I received something suggesting I make an appointment, and I need to order some stuff anyway, so a few phone calls as well today. And I need to check on a possible trip, for tomorrow. Yes, yes... then I get Sunday and Monday down, then I am already planning for an outing Tuesday, give or take. I am missing some things, but doing all, and more, than I thought I could even so. Only so much I can do and I am doing that and more already. Choices. And, yeah, it hurts all over. Bending over to pick up all of the brass, and shortly after a meal, removing, reinstalling, removing again, and laying the toilet in, and doing something nearly daily this week... The body is as grumpy as the mind was yesterday. Yum! Later.
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Burned out.
.
.
Quite a day. It didn't start out right, it went wrong, got back on track, then became pretty good if it stretched a bit further than I should have let it. I even picked up all the brass I could find after shooting. If I had to guess, I would guess there were between four and six hundred rounds of brass to police. And I did it a bit too shortly after dinner. Bleh. It's all good, and good for me. Now I need to figure out how to cool off to try to be to bed by 0:00. The hope is to, even yet, make it to town tomorrow to take care of two taxes and a license renewal. Plus, I told my friend, if I could, after doing business, I'd get him out for a fast food meal. It's not much, but it's different from the day before.
I need to call to see if the trip Saturday is still planned, and when it might be. Between now and then I had hoped to read a paper, for comment. But I don't think that is possible. I have been running myself pretty ragged. Reading is just... either it is my only priority, or it isn't possible. I've got a half dozen books on my list, from the heavies like Summa Theologica, and possible The Irrational Atheist, on to more entertaining reading. I... just... can't... do it. I did read the bible that one summer, not to far back, New, then Old, then New again. But... I was pretty much cloistered in that affair. I read six to ten, perhaps even twelve, hours a day, at least six days of the week, for the better part of a couple of months. But... I didn't, and wasn't able or in the mood, to do much else. One, or the other. Still, it's a goal. I want to debate the paper, tear it down, support what parts seem reasonable, dispense with anything that isn't, and argue the points that are reasonably arguable. Just as an exercise. As I have mentioned, want isn't... always available. Heck, I go without need quite often.
Hmm, now to try to chill. Oh, I finally found my pumice bar and used that on my feet in the shower. I guess I was a little afraid it would be too abrasive. As it turns out, it was just fine. And my heels are... well... still like a gravel road. But better than the rutted gravel road they had been like. A week or two, or over some time, and I think I'll have human feet again, mostly. On days I can shower and chill, I might even use lotion on them. Look, when the skin, anywhere, is thick enough to crack an half inch deep... it's time to... do a little something. You know?
Burned out, used up, tired, a little sore, but full and satisfied. I'm still just a wee grumpy. My friend got an earful. It wasn't aimed at him, just... other drivers, women drivers, men drivers, college kid drivers, the lights, the signs, the... I'm glad he was tired of shooting. Actually, I think he was laughing, sometimes just on the inside, when not rolling his eyes. I saw him grin. Entertaining, was I?!? Heh. I hope it was entertaining for someone. A good night of sleep, an easy morning, and perhaps I can attend business and a late lunch tomorrow.
Good night.
It's a quarter to one, but that isn't too off. Sure beats a 4:00 or 5:00 bedtime. I just can't sleep until I have let the wound springs clock down. I hope your sleep is good. Mine should be.
.
Quite a day. It didn't start out right, it went wrong, got back on track, then became pretty good if it stretched a bit further than I should have let it. I even picked up all the brass I could find after shooting. If I had to guess, I would guess there were between four and six hundred rounds of brass to police. And I did it a bit too shortly after dinner. Bleh. It's all good, and good for me. Now I need to figure out how to cool off to try to be to bed by 0:00. The hope is to, even yet, make it to town tomorrow to take care of two taxes and a license renewal. Plus, I told my friend, if I could, after doing business, I'd get him out for a fast food meal. It's not much, but it's different from the day before.
I need to call to see if the trip Saturday is still planned, and when it might be. Between now and then I had hoped to read a paper, for comment. But I don't think that is possible. I have been running myself pretty ragged. Reading is just... either it is my only priority, or it isn't possible. I've got a half dozen books on my list, from the heavies like Summa Theologica, and possible The Irrational Atheist, on to more entertaining reading. I... just... can't... do it. I did read the bible that one summer, not to far back, New, then Old, then New again. But... I was pretty much cloistered in that affair. I read six to ten, perhaps even twelve, hours a day, at least six days of the week, for the better part of a couple of months. But... I didn't, and wasn't able or in the mood, to do much else. One, or the other. Still, it's a goal. I want to debate the paper, tear it down, support what parts seem reasonable, dispense with anything that isn't, and argue the points that are reasonably arguable. Just as an exercise. As I have mentioned, want isn't... always available. Heck, I go without need quite often.
Hmm, now to try to chill. Oh, I finally found my pumice bar and used that on my feet in the shower. I guess I was a little afraid it would be too abrasive. As it turns out, it was just fine. And my heels are... well... still like a gravel road. But better than the rutted gravel road they had been like. A week or two, or over some time, and I think I'll have human feet again, mostly. On days I can shower and chill, I might even use lotion on them. Look, when the skin, anywhere, is thick enough to crack an half inch deep... it's time to... do a little something. You know?
Burned out, used up, tired, a little sore, but full and satisfied. I'm still just a wee grumpy. My friend got an earful. It wasn't aimed at him, just... other drivers, women drivers, men drivers, college kid drivers, the lights, the signs, the... I'm glad he was tired of shooting. Actually, I think he was laughing, sometimes just on the inside, when not rolling his eyes. I saw him grin. Entertaining, was I?!? Heh. I hope it was entertaining for someone. A good night of sleep, an easy morning, and perhaps I can attend business and a late lunch tomorrow.
Good night.
It's a quarter to one, but that isn't too off. Sure beats a 4:00 or 5:00 bedtime. I just can't sleep until I have let the wound springs clock down. I hope your sleep is good. Mine should be.
I had almost forgotten.
.
.
Almost. When the call came in, I was pretty much ready for it. My friend, shooting today. Right. The first time he called, I answered but he must have fumbled, or become distracted, on his end. Though, sometimes, connections are just odd. I have found that trying to call him, or my mother, back, after such a botched attempt, usually isn't successful. So, hanging up and waiting for them to call back is the only ploy that might work. After a bit he did call back. "Well, are you awake yet"? Good question, the answer, as usual, is yes and no. I told him I would get there between 14:30 and 15:00. And, I should be able to make it. He is hungry, as am I, so he suggested midlunch first, a little bullet shopping, then on to the range. Sounds great to me.
A shower, first, and probably a little tinkering with the game Dark Souls while I air dry. Yes, yes, spoiled, in some ways. But after the last few days, taking it slowly, if possible, seems wise. You can only push just so much, and going shooting is pushing, so I might as well relax a bit on this part of the thing. Plus, I'd like to get started. I am a bit confused about Dark Souls, not having played, or even heard, of it, until recently. I hope it isn't just a multi-player piece of crap. I truly hate those. I simply won't play multi-player games. If you want your girlfriends to hold your hand when it is dark, do so. Just don't do it while playing a game, well, not this kind of game. If you want to chat, there are chatrooms, as public or private as you want. Again, don't do that while gaming. When gaming, I simply want to play. It isn't for social pleasure. That's what eyes and faces are for, not toys. /rant
I am hoping this game has a strong single player aspect, and that the challenge is worth the effort. Only time will tell. It has a serious reputation, and if it pans out, there is a newer game in the same line. There are a lot of choices to make. Sometimes that can be fun, sometimes it's just drudgery added to boredom and often leading nowhere. Why have forty swords of similar style and class if none of them are really that much better, or have that many swords because you need one with fire, one with electricity, one with shielding, and you have to have them to get through spots (then never use them again, unless going through that spot again). Complexity is nice, but, really, I am neither a collector nor a minutia geek. I absolutely hate when the obnoxious detail is presented merely to be obnoxiously needling but otherwise useless. *breath* /rant
Never mind. I'll see shortly. But a shower first, and perhaps I'll trim fingernails if I can find the clippers I prefer. Spoiled. I need to... work on that. Or, maybe, I just still a bit grumpy from this morning, and the work I have been doing of late? That could be a part of it. Still, I'll be thinking about it. I hate being just a bit off kilter in this way. I lean in too many impossible directions already, no need to add to it.
I am feeling pretty good. Just a little tired, just a twinge of soreness, but mostly really good. Uhrm, but still just a bit grumpy. As I was telling Sneezy and Dopey a moment ago. I'm not a little Grumpy, I'm a big Grumpy! :)
Later.
.
Almost. When the call came in, I was pretty much ready for it. My friend, shooting today. Right. The first time he called, I answered but he must have fumbled, or become distracted, on his end. Though, sometimes, connections are just odd. I have found that trying to call him, or my mother, back, after such a botched attempt, usually isn't successful. So, hanging up and waiting for them to call back is the only ploy that might work. After a bit he did call back. "Well, are you awake yet"? Good question, the answer, as usual, is yes and no. I told him I would get there between 14:30 and 15:00. And, I should be able to make it. He is hungry, as am I, so he suggested midlunch first, a little bullet shopping, then on to the range. Sounds great to me.
A shower, first, and probably a little tinkering with the game Dark Souls while I air dry. Yes, yes, spoiled, in some ways. But after the last few days, taking it slowly, if possible, seems wise. You can only push just so much, and going shooting is pushing, so I might as well relax a bit on this part of the thing. Plus, I'd like to get started. I am a bit confused about Dark Souls, not having played, or even heard, of it, until recently. I hope it isn't just a multi-player piece of crap. I truly hate those. I simply won't play multi-player games. If you want your girlfriends to hold your hand when it is dark, do so. Just don't do it while playing a game, well, not this kind of game. If you want to chat, there are chatrooms, as public or private as you want. Again, don't do that while gaming. When gaming, I simply want to play. It isn't for social pleasure. That's what eyes and faces are for, not toys. /rant
I am hoping this game has a strong single player aspect, and that the challenge is worth the effort. Only time will tell. It has a serious reputation, and if it pans out, there is a newer game in the same line. There are a lot of choices to make. Sometimes that can be fun, sometimes it's just drudgery added to boredom and often leading nowhere. Why have forty swords of similar style and class if none of them are really that much better, or have that many swords because you need one with fire, one with electricity, one with shielding, and you have to have them to get through spots (then never use them again, unless going through that spot again). Complexity is nice, but, really, I am neither a collector nor a minutia geek. I absolutely hate when the obnoxious detail is presented merely to be obnoxiously needling but otherwise useless. *breath* /rant
Never mind. I'll see shortly. But a shower first, and perhaps I'll trim fingernails if I can find the clippers I prefer. Spoiled. I need to... work on that. Or, maybe, I just still a bit grumpy from this morning, and the work I have been doing of late? That could be a part of it. Still, I'll be thinking about it. I hate being just a bit off kilter in this way. I lean in too many impossible directions already, no need to add to it.
I am feeling pretty good. Just a little tired, just a twinge of soreness, but mostly really good. Uhrm, but still just a bit grumpy. As I was telling Sneezy and Dopey a moment ago. I'm not a little Grumpy, I'm a big Grumpy! :)
Later.
A bit rough, mostly odd.
.
.
I didn't get to bet until about midnight last night. Which was a little later than I had hoped, but within tolerances. I set the alarm for 8:00 and slept quite well. I woke to Sassy making swallowing noises near my ear, meaning she wanted fed. She hasn't done that kind of stupid in a long time. Anyway, I pushed her away, nicely mind you. Instead of going away, immediately, she dug her claws in. I have no idea what was up with her, but I tracked her down, put her outside, and told her to get her own breakfast. I was mad, too. I went pretty light on her, but I was mad as could be. Further, I have decided to feed them once per day, from now on. About, for me, midday. Oh, they will still have hard food available to them, as they want. Just no more breakfasts of wet food. I'm going to catch hell for it. But Sassy is, somehow, getting too fat again. If need be, I might even have to trim the hard food allowances. Brat! Still hot.
The thing is, she woke me very early. I didn't realize the time until I calmed down a bit. It must have been around 5:00 to 5:30 when she started the, if short, war of the fur coat, forcing me to initiate operation boot the pussy. Never mind. But, after the tactical operations and live fire exchanges, I couldn't get back to sleep. *tickle, light push* ~ *ssccrratch* I'M AWAKE! Funny thing is, usually she really struggles to not be put out. This time she didn't fuss, or try to run back in. Maybe she could sense just how angry I was? Nah. I think, this time, she knew what she did was wrong. Oh, and she didn't disappear this time. An hour or two later, she was still waiting to be let back in.
Now, I was almost immediately exhausted, but even so, couldn't just fall back to sleep. I had to wait until between 9:30 and 10:00, maybe, to finally be able to sleep a bit again. I just woke, at about noon. Worse, the internet died for most of that time. There I was, barely awake, unable to sleep, tending fresh wounds, with nothing to help keep me going. Yes, I am spoiled. If it weren't for the internet and coffee, I would probably sleep way more than I do. Some think that would be a good thing. For those who want me dead, I agree. Sleep is a killer for me, in several ways.
Never mind. I am, again, awake. I'll begin actually waking and figuring out my day. Later.
.
I didn't get to bet until about midnight last night. Which was a little later than I had hoped, but within tolerances. I set the alarm for 8:00 and slept quite well. I woke to Sassy making swallowing noises near my ear, meaning she wanted fed. She hasn't done that kind of stupid in a long time. Anyway, I pushed her away, nicely mind you. Instead of going away, immediately, she dug her claws in. I have no idea what was up with her, but I tracked her down, put her outside, and told her to get her own breakfast. I was mad, too. I went pretty light on her, but I was mad as could be. Further, I have decided to feed them once per day, from now on. About, for me, midday. Oh, they will still have hard food available to them, as they want. Just no more breakfasts of wet food. I'm going to catch hell for it. But Sassy is, somehow, getting too fat again. If need be, I might even have to trim the hard food allowances. Brat! Still hot.
The thing is, she woke me very early. I didn't realize the time until I calmed down a bit. It must have been around 5:00 to 5:30 when she started the, if short, war of the fur coat, forcing me to initiate operation boot the pussy. Never mind. But, after the tactical operations and live fire exchanges, I couldn't get back to sleep. *tickle, light push* ~ *ssccrratch* I'M AWAKE! Funny thing is, usually she really struggles to not be put out. This time she didn't fuss, or try to run back in. Maybe she could sense just how angry I was? Nah. I think, this time, she knew what she did was wrong. Oh, and she didn't disappear this time. An hour or two later, she was still waiting to be let back in.
Now, I was almost immediately exhausted, but even so, couldn't just fall back to sleep. I had to wait until between 9:30 and 10:00, maybe, to finally be able to sleep a bit again. I just woke, at about noon. Worse, the internet died for most of that time. There I was, barely awake, unable to sleep, tending fresh wounds, with nothing to help keep me going. Yes, I am spoiled. If it weren't for the internet and coffee, I would probably sleep way more than I do. Some think that would be a good thing. For those who want me dead, I agree. Sleep is a killer for me, in several ways.
Never mind. I am, again, awake. I'll begin actually waking and figuring out my day. Later.
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Tomorrow.
.
.
I won't be going to town today. Not because I can't, or that I am too sore. I simply woke too late to get going. I could shower and just maybe make it in just in time to do a few of the things on my list, or even all of them. But that would assume nothing went wrong. A work traffic stop, some other time distraction, possibly even taking a wrong turn. Further, I am not exactly sure of the hours of operation for some of the places I mean to visit. Do they close at 17:00, 16:30, or even, effectively, 16:00? I simply can't be sure. As is, I don't wish to push into uncertain territory after pushing as I did yesterday. I will attempt to get to bed earlier tonight, and up early tomorrow, taking care of my business before taking my friend out shooting. I may, possibly, head out a bit later, just for grocery shopping, and another meal. HUNGRY. Or I may not.
No worries. I sure would have liked a meal out. But one of the things that arrived at my door today is a rice cooker. Yeah, I know. I said I really didn't want one. And, I still hold to that. After having purchased one for my mother, to great reviews, I decided to pull the trigger on one myself. One never knows, but some certain trusts in some certain others can allow for risks to be harbored. Such is the case with this item. I bought a smaller one, since I don't cook for groups, but it does have a steamer basket as well. Honestly, steamed food is not my favorite. It is usually flat... bland. It removes what little fat is in what is already rather fatless. Not a good thing. I suppose, a smidgen of butter on top of, say, a fish fillet, might help. And it is a rather easy way to cook. I may give that a shot. And it should work equally well with quinoa, millet, and various types of rice.
A few other items, the near last of a line of purchases, arrived as well. Some ammunition to check a specific rifle, to see if it prefers specific bullets by grain of bullet, velocity, or type of bullet... a cleaning rod specifically for that rifle, a tripod for the chronograph I intend to buy next month for exacting reloading, and a few other items along those lines, or long on my list for past projects or needs, or future ones. As with canning, I may never get to it all. But I will surely be geared for it in some smaller or larger ways. Who knows. I do know nothing can happen if the tools, supplies, and intent isn't there. And intent is useless without the rest. While it does sound fun, it is all, actually, a lot of work. Fun, and successes, and working through failures... those are the payoffs, until a better payoff comes along.
While I am doing a few other things, I may see if I can bring some order to my kitchen, enough to not only feed my face, but to "cook" the wood finish and create a space for honing. If that goes well, I will see what of that I can get done. Success feeds upon success. And while I am sore, these tasks should be light enough that they won't be too disturbing today, detract from my efforts tomorrow, and perhaps Friday if I am unable to get to town early enough for my business affairs, and the efforts might even loosen up the sprung springs to a better working order. Shooting is locked in, for tomorrow afternoon, but a morning sprint... is questionable. I believe I have a trip to make Saturday, earlier. So I will be working at getting my sleep cycle in order to make that a more pleasant affair. Yes, I am pushing. But, for now, and again, I am able to do so.
While God loves a busy man, I am sure, too, that He understands my difficulties. I can almost hear Him laugh, at times, in a kindly way. As a Father who sees his son struggling against the world, and sleep, exhaustion, and frustration, even ignorance. I know He loves me whatever I can do, or even when I need or want to back off a bit. It isn't my struggles that please, if they might entertain. It is not my trials, but my faith, that will grant grace. And yet... He built us to... do... like Himself... only, in our immature ways, so far, because of choices and where we are. I don't mind the chuckles, if I sometimes raise a brow, and in a familial way, suggest if He is too ornery about it, that we will tussle. I can almost hear Him breaking into great laughter and suggesting "Crib time!". :p That is actually comforting, in many ways, even as it might be a little vexing. Even one so powerful, in my ways, as I am... to know my place, and surely, is like a warm blanket to a baby.
Later.
.
I won't be going to town today. Not because I can't, or that I am too sore. I simply woke too late to get going. I could shower and just maybe make it in just in time to do a few of the things on my list, or even all of them. But that would assume nothing went wrong. A work traffic stop, some other time distraction, possibly even taking a wrong turn. Further, I am not exactly sure of the hours of operation for some of the places I mean to visit. Do they close at 17:00, 16:30, or even, effectively, 16:00? I simply can't be sure. As is, I don't wish to push into uncertain territory after pushing as I did yesterday. I will attempt to get to bed earlier tonight, and up early tomorrow, taking care of my business before taking my friend out shooting. I may, possibly, head out a bit later, just for grocery shopping, and another meal. HUNGRY. Or I may not.
No worries. I sure would have liked a meal out. But one of the things that arrived at my door today is a rice cooker. Yeah, I know. I said I really didn't want one. And, I still hold to that. After having purchased one for my mother, to great reviews, I decided to pull the trigger on one myself. One never knows, but some certain trusts in some certain others can allow for risks to be harbored. Such is the case with this item. I bought a smaller one, since I don't cook for groups, but it does have a steamer basket as well. Honestly, steamed food is not my favorite. It is usually flat... bland. It removes what little fat is in what is already rather fatless. Not a good thing. I suppose, a smidgen of butter on top of, say, a fish fillet, might help. And it is a rather easy way to cook. I may give that a shot. And it should work equally well with quinoa, millet, and various types of rice.
A few other items, the near last of a line of purchases, arrived as well. Some ammunition to check a specific rifle, to see if it prefers specific bullets by grain of bullet, velocity, or type of bullet... a cleaning rod specifically for that rifle, a tripod for the chronograph I intend to buy next month for exacting reloading, and a few other items along those lines, or long on my list for past projects or needs, or future ones. As with canning, I may never get to it all. But I will surely be geared for it in some smaller or larger ways. Who knows. I do know nothing can happen if the tools, supplies, and intent isn't there. And intent is useless without the rest. While it does sound fun, it is all, actually, a lot of work. Fun, and successes, and working through failures... those are the payoffs, until a better payoff comes along.
While I am doing a few other things, I may see if I can bring some order to my kitchen, enough to not only feed my face, but to "cook" the wood finish and create a space for honing. If that goes well, I will see what of that I can get done. Success feeds upon success. And while I am sore, these tasks should be light enough that they won't be too disturbing today, detract from my efforts tomorrow, and perhaps Friday if I am unable to get to town early enough for my business affairs, and the efforts might even loosen up the sprung springs to a better working order. Shooting is locked in, for tomorrow afternoon, but a morning sprint... is questionable. I believe I have a trip to make Saturday, earlier. So I will be working at getting my sleep cycle in order to make that a more pleasant affair. Yes, I am pushing. But, for now, and again, I am able to do so.
While God loves a busy man, I am sure, too, that He understands my difficulties. I can almost hear Him laugh, at times, in a kindly way. As a Father who sees his son struggling against the world, and sleep, exhaustion, and frustration, even ignorance. I know He loves me whatever I can do, or even when I need or want to back off a bit. It isn't my struggles that please, if they might entertain. It is not my trials, but my faith, that will grant grace. And yet... He built us to... do... like Himself... only, in our immature ways, so far, because of choices and where we are. I don't mind the chuckles, if I sometimes raise a brow, and in a familial way, suggest if He is too ornery about it, that we will tussle. I can almost hear Him breaking into great laughter and suggesting "Crib time!". :p That is actually comforting, in many ways, even as it might be a little vexing. Even one so powerful, in my ways, as I am... to know my place, and surely, is like a warm blanket to a baby.
Later.
A pleasantly hard morning.
.
.
Did I actually write "morning"? Work with me. Just... *wink and nod* It was just about noon when I woke. I couldn't go down until about 4:00, but went down fast and probably a bit too hard. Lots of aches and pains, but of the sort I really like. All physical, all from work. I was doing the equivalent of yoga, with a decent amount of weight, yesterday. Lowering this piece at a slow enough rate so as not to chip, or shatter, the glass weight, but lowering it with fine details so as to allow bolts to go through small holes. On my back, on my knees, almost always bent over, often bent and twisted to look around, and up to the underside of where some things needed to connect. All... day... long. So, really, I wouldn't complain at twice the pain. And, actually, I am surprised that the pains I felt while falling into sleep did not worsen. No extra swelling, no extra burn from muscles, no nerve twinges as my body unwraps nerves that must have been twisted about bone and other immovable objects in there. No, not even a good solid hard body of pain. Just... a little twitch, burn, and stiffness. Oh well. :p
The toilet, and surrounds, look to be dry. I have used it twice today. One for the morning bladder factor. One just because! A waste of water, I suppose, but... I have so few successes of late, that making it work was a simple joy. Do it again, daddy! *flush* Oh... yeah. If I had it, I might even consider champagne. Well, later. I am still hoping to get to town and do a bit of business and a little bit of shopping. Perhaps grab a meal. Absolutely no promises, mind you. Just, it's still on my mind and I have some mild hope.
I will say this, if I can do that, I still have some serious potential physically. While it wasn't demanding on strength, stamina, or sticking to a task, at full blast, in any of those areas, it did require a mid-level push in all of those areas at once. It means there is still something, or somethings, I can do. I do need to figure out how to do this sort of thing more often, and for longer term and in more complex areas. I do need to figure out my all-stops, so as to work around those. I found that, if prepared, as prepared as you can be when starting any project anyway, the job goes forward much more easily. Using my down time, working through object failure to function to at least do some prep, and I might be able to do more serious tasks. Yes, I want it. The answer? You can't stop halfway through. The question can only be asked by those who can handle the answer though. Hmm....
Now, the next few projects are much lighter. Sanding the workbench, preparing the finish. Sanding and planing the wooden supports for the open porch roofs, then staining those. And, darn it, I want to open up a full place in which to hone one of my straight razors. Sure, winter is coming. And I like to go bearded in the winter. If I can get to this, I can live without a beard for a winter. It's the idea. Sacrifices need, at times, to be made. There are other projects, as well. Some of my projects are just about to completion of their more expensive legs, so I can move on to... say... purchasing supplies and tools for a serious run at fixing the en suit bathroom. I am amazed, as I do various little and big jobs, as just how many tools I do have. I am no longer a humble houseman. I am nearly mid-level. A few more tools, if they are the big ones, and I will be getting into contractor level, if more a static one... dependent on one location, an immobile workshop. But that is good enough for me. I am, myself, pretty much, immobile. So it is fitting, for now.
Later.
.
Did I actually write "morning"? Work with me. Just... *wink and nod* It was just about noon when I woke. I couldn't go down until about 4:00, but went down fast and probably a bit too hard. Lots of aches and pains, but of the sort I really like. All physical, all from work. I was doing the equivalent of yoga, with a decent amount of weight, yesterday. Lowering this piece at a slow enough rate so as not to chip, or shatter, the glass weight, but lowering it with fine details so as to allow bolts to go through small holes. On my back, on my knees, almost always bent over, often bent and twisted to look around, and up to the underside of where some things needed to connect. All... day... long. So, really, I wouldn't complain at twice the pain. And, actually, I am surprised that the pains I felt while falling into sleep did not worsen. No extra swelling, no extra burn from muscles, no nerve twinges as my body unwraps nerves that must have been twisted about bone and other immovable objects in there. No, not even a good solid hard body of pain. Just... a little twitch, burn, and stiffness. Oh well. :p
The toilet, and surrounds, look to be dry. I have used it twice today. One for the morning bladder factor. One just because! A waste of water, I suppose, but... I have so few successes of late, that making it work was a simple joy. Do it again, daddy! *flush* Oh... yeah. If I had it, I might even consider champagne. Well, later. I am still hoping to get to town and do a bit of business and a little bit of shopping. Perhaps grab a meal. Absolutely no promises, mind you. Just, it's still on my mind and I have some mild hope.
I will say this, if I can do that, I still have some serious potential physically. While it wasn't demanding on strength, stamina, or sticking to a task, at full blast, in any of those areas, it did require a mid-level push in all of those areas at once. It means there is still something, or somethings, I can do. I do need to figure out how to do this sort of thing more often, and for longer term and in more complex areas. I do need to figure out my all-stops, so as to work around those. I found that, if prepared, as prepared as you can be when starting any project anyway, the job goes forward much more easily. Using my down time, working through object failure to function to at least do some prep, and I might be able to do more serious tasks. Yes, I want it. The answer? You can't stop halfway through. The question can only be asked by those who can handle the answer though. Hmm....
Now, the next few projects are much lighter. Sanding the workbench, preparing the finish. Sanding and planing the wooden supports for the open porch roofs, then staining those. And, darn it, I want to open up a full place in which to hone one of my straight razors. Sure, winter is coming. And I like to go bearded in the winter. If I can get to this, I can live without a beard for a winter. It's the idea. Sacrifices need, at times, to be made. There are other projects, as well. Some of my projects are just about to completion of their more expensive legs, so I can move on to... say... purchasing supplies and tools for a serious run at fixing the en suit bathroom. I am amazed, as I do various little and big jobs, as just how many tools I do have. I am no longer a humble houseman. I am nearly mid-level. A few more tools, if they are the big ones, and I will be getting into contractor level, if more a static one... dependent on one location, an immobile workshop. But that is good enough for me. I am, myself, pretty much, immobile. So it is fitting, for now.
Later.
Ala-ka-done.
.
.
I just didn't want to give up, even though it was way past bedtime. However, I needed a washer to complete the reconstruction which meant a trip to town. I had wanted to eat. I knew that would be late. This was pushing even that. Still, I got in, grabbed a meal, then went for the washer. While I was at it, I checked some of the supplies I wanted. Cream is way too expensive at Walmart. My preferred milk is pretty pricey too, but that is just fifty cents more and I was only buying two. Splenda, and replacement paraffin bundles, plus a bit extra. I want to stock up on that for canning supplies, as well as having it for the firestarters. I may never get to canning, but I will, eventually, be well stocked for it. A few other items, I suppose. Too tired to try to think that hard.
Tomorrow, if I get up in time, if I can move, I am hoping to do a short run into town. Coffee, cream, and business. I am hoping to keep it as short and sweet as possible. I am already sore from wrestling, ever so gently, with that other white giant. Those toilets, the big boys, do have a bit of heft to them. But that isn't the real problem. Porcelain, it's fragility, added to it's weight, is quite a little monster to work with. It's, for a standard man, a two man job, for some parts of it. As I said, I have strength, even to finesse. I simply don't have stamina. This job should only have taken a few hours, though I did extra and did have a few... problems. Even so, four hours, adding in mopping well, and the problems. I simply don't have enough length in the lungs. Still, I stuck to it, and finished it. I'll... let myself off with a warning. Ugh!
There were no leaks when I lit it up, but I need to keep checking that. But I have to tell you, it's nice having the water seal underneath and the floor cleaned up. Now, when I clean, I'll feel better about the project, knowing the work will go right down to the shine. But boy did that tire me. At least I got a meal out of the project. Good night.
.
I just didn't want to give up, even though it was way past bedtime. However, I needed a washer to complete the reconstruction which meant a trip to town. I had wanted to eat. I knew that would be late. This was pushing even that. Still, I got in, grabbed a meal, then went for the washer. While I was at it, I checked some of the supplies I wanted. Cream is way too expensive at Walmart. My preferred milk is pretty pricey too, but that is just fifty cents more and I was only buying two. Splenda, and replacement paraffin bundles, plus a bit extra. I want to stock up on that for canning supplies, as well as having it for the firestarters. I may never get to canning, but I will, eventually, be well stocked for it. A few other items, I suppose. Too tired to try to think that hard.
Tomorrow, if I get up in time, if I can move, I am hoping to do a short run into town. Coffee, cream, and business. I am hoping to keep it as short and sweet as possible. I am already sore from wrestling, ever so gently, with that other white giant. Those toilets, the big boys, do have a bit of heft to them. But that isn't the real problem. Porcelain, it's fragility, added to it's weight, is quite a little monster to work with. It's, for a standard man, a two man job, for some parts of it. As I said, I have strength, even to finesse. I simply don't have stamina. This job should only have taken a few hours, though I did extra and did have a few... problems. Even so, four hours, adding in mopping well, and the problems. I simply don't have enough length in the lungs. Still, I stuck to it, and finished it. I'll... let myself off with a warning. Ugh!
There were no leaks when I lit it up, but I need to keep checking that. But I have to tell you, it's nice having the water seal underneath and the floor cleaned up. Now, when I clean, I'll feel better about the project, knowing the work will go right down to the shine. But boy did that tire me. At least I got a meal out of the project. Good night.
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Back to it.
.
.
I had to take a bit longer of a break. I overheated. It wasn't the difficulty, really, it was the fact that I was bent over while trying to crush the silicon out of the device while also trying not to snap the nozzle off. I have to attach the bowl, connect the tank, hook up the water, and run another bead of silicon around the perimeter. If I can get that done, and take a shower and a break, I might head into town for a bit of shopping and another meal. I've been working up an appetite. I already had supper, but... Still hungry, or more, hungry again. I might as well do some shopping while I am at it. Just milk and cream, probably.
Back to it. Later.
Yep, nope. One of the bolts fell down in, so I had to undo everything, pull the bowl. I spent a good hour trying to fish it out. I am almost sure I have a tool for that, somewhere. I wasted some time looking for that. I could have sworn it was in my regular toolbox. On the good side, it looks like the wax seal is very well seated. The bolts had been sturdy, and seemed to be well seated, when I lowered the seat. And, just to stand, they probably were. But to get a nut to tighten on them, not so much. Well, one of them. And all it takes is one. In any case, I did finally fish that out, if not the easy way, and used plumber putty to hold them a little more strongly in place. They really should have a better system for this, bolt tracks, where the bolts can be removed, for example. It isn't that damn hard and doesn't require an engineer to create. Gah! Oh, but it looks like I won't need to calk along the seems. The silicon I laid in has oozed out so as to cover even that part. I put in a fairly heavy bead. It's my first time working with the stuff, so... All good.
Now I just need to replace the tank, connect the water, make sure that isn't leaking, then take a shower and decide what to do, if anything, next. I am tired, and hungry. The two are fighting. Somehow, either way, I will lose. If I am full I am not sure I will mind. More so if the toilet works, dryly this time. Bleh.
Later or good night.
.
I had to take a bit longer of a break. I overheated. It wasn't the difficulty, really, it was the fact that I was bent over while trying to crush the silicon out of the device while also trying not to snap the nozzle off. I have to attach the bowl, connect the tank, hook up the water, and run another bead of silicon around the perimeter. If I can get that done, and take a shower and a break, I might head into town for a bit of shopping and another meal. I've been working up an appetite. I already had supper, but... Still hungry, or more, hungry again. I might as well do some shopping while I am at it. Just milk and cream, probably.
Back to it. Later.
Yep, nope. One of the bolts fell down in, so I had to undo everything, pull the bowl. I spent a good hour trying to fish it out. I am almost sure I have a tool for that, somewhere. I wasted some time looking for that. I could have sworn it was in my regular toolbox. On the good side, it looks like the wax seal is very well seated. The bolts had been sturdy, and seemed to be well seated, when I lowered the seat. And, just to stand, they probably were. But to get a nut to tighten on them, not so much. Well, one of them. And all it takes is one. In any case, I did finally fish that out, if not the easy way, and used plumber putty to hold them a little more strongly in place. They really should have a better system for this, bolt tracks, where the bolts can be removed, for example. It isn't that damn hard and doesn't require an engineer to create. Gah! Oh, but it looks like I won't need to calk along the seems. The silicon I laid in has oozed out so as to cover even that part. I put in a fairly heavy bead. It's my first time working with the stuff, so... All good.
Now I just need to replace the tank, connect the water, make sure that isn't leaking, then take a shower and decide what to do, if anything, next. I am tired, and hungry. The two are fighting. Somehow, either way, I will lose. If I am full I am not sure I will mind. More so if the toilet works, dryly this time. Bleh.
Later or good night.
Some things took longer than they should have.
.
.
Just unsealing the silicone caulk was a trick. Perhaps it is too old? Or is silicon caulk just a ballbuster to deal with? A hammer, a nail, and half a dozen hits, many of which didn't seem to do anything. A few nearly took the cap off. Bleh. So, after looking for advice on that, I realize I was doing it right, it's just the material I am working with must be too old, or simply not easy to get going. Then, after finally getting that going, I started trying to use it. It was as hard to apply as it was to get flowing. I broke the nipple off several times, confusing where pressure should be applied, pulling the trigger while pushing the gun. Thankfully that was easy to attach back on. But the stuff was murder to work with. I got one bead, I suppose, laid around the interior of where the bowl sits. When I get the rest of it back together, I'll put more around the edge where the floor and bowl intersect.
Next, the wax ring. What a pain. It was just not going together as it should. I got it, I hope, and the bowl is back in place. But I had to take a break after that. None of it went together well, I'm not sure about the wax ring, or even the silicon caulk. I'll keep at it. I do think I will have it together before I go to bed. How well, I can't say. I do have more wax rings, and may see if I need new silicon caulk of if that is just the way it is. So if it leaks from under there, I suppose, once again, I'll... just have to tear it all down again. It's a lot of work, actually. More so since you can't just throw the parts around, and actually have to be very gentle with most of it.
No shooting, of course, today. He is shopping tomorrow, but I need to get in and do some business, so may do that tomorrow. A bit of shopping would be good too. I'm just, or just about, out of milk and cream. It's been a hard go, really, but... I honestly do like it when I can do it. Even if I cuss just a wee bit while figuring it all out. Later.
.
Just unsealing the silicone caulk was a trick. Perhaps it is too old? Or is silicon caulk just a ballbuster to deal with? A hammer, a nail, and half a dozen hits, many of which didn't seem to do anything. A few nearly took the cap off. Bleh. So, after looking for advice on that, I realize I was doing it right, it's just the material I am working with must be too old, or simply not easy to get going. Then, after finally getting that going, I started trying to use it. It was as hard to apply as it was to get flowing. I broke the nipple off several times, confusing where pressure should be applied, pulling the trigger while pushing the gun. Thankfully that was easy to attach back on. But the stuff was murder to work with. I got one bead, I suppose, laid around the interior of where the bowl sits. When I get the rest of it back together, I'll put more around the edge where the floor and bowl intersect.
Next, the wax ring. What a pain. It was just not going together as it should. I got it, I hope, and the bowl is back in place. But I had to take a break after that. None of it went together well, I'm not sure about the wax ring, or even the silicon caulk. I'll keep at it. I do think I will have it together before I go to bed. How well, I can't say. I do have more wax rings, and may see if I need new silicon caulk of if that is just the way it is. So if it leaks from under there, I suppose, once again, I'll... just have to tear it all down again. It's a lot of work, actually. More so since you can't just throw the parts around, and actually have to be very gentle with most of it.
No shooting, of course, today. He is shopping tomorrow, but I need to get in and do some business, so may do that tomorrow. A bit of shopping would be good too. I'm just, or just about, out of milk and cream. It's been a hard go, really, but... I honestly do like it when I can do it. Even if I cuss just a wee bit while figuring it all out. Later.
Pushing a little harder, a little faster.
.
.
You might not know it from how things turn out, but shooting isn't just a flimsy hobby. I truly enjoy it. As with work, and play, even rest sometimes, my wants are not what happens. If you think just sitting is the goal, a hope, a dream, or a want, or anything but a dire need, you are mistaken. So... I am pushing, hard. As hard as I can.
I chiseled down to the clean, then tried to figure out how to get the backing, kickplate, wood, out of the way. It has gone bad, as has some of the drywall. So, yeah, I have more work to do. Stalling isn't always the best plan, but what is, is. Anyway, I just went brute force, with just a touch of finess to limit the damage to what is still good, and got the wood out. Then I scrubbed. While I don't mop often enough, when I bother to do it, I bother to do it well. One wash mop, then I pull all that water up, then another, and another if necessary, with soapy water, removing as much water as possible after each soapy mop. Then I rinse the mop to clear and clean, and do at least two wet clean water moppings, sopping the water in between, and as a final touch, I dry out the mop, run it clean and clear, and repeat the process one more time. And, so, I did. The only thing I did extra this time was to use an old bath towel to get the floor extra dry in the hope that I can lay a couple of beads of calking sooner than otherwise. Then, of course, I clean the mop for five minutes. Running it in hot water, removing that, and over and over until I can't see an sediment in the squeezed water stream, then do it a few more times. I hate sour mops.
I couldn't find the extra mop head. I know I have one somewhere. But I did find another mop. It had been properly cleaned and set to dry, in the back of one of my utility closets, so it was good to go. I suspect, with two mops, I may buy a couple more replacement heads, on top of the one that has to be replaced anyway. Then put those where I know where they, and other such items, such as vacuum cleaner bags, are stored. Organization takes time. You, if you have never had it, almost have to accident upon such. But if you don't have a mind for it, it won't work. I have just recently obtained the mind for it. But it will... take some time. And it will never quite be completely right. Beyond my personal problems with the notions, there is reality that simply doesn't allow perfect, long term, organization. Saints don't become saints, in other words, without tears, sweat, and blood. Yum! I understand why I used to ignore saints. I am much better off having turned the corner that is allowing me to try to be one though. I've seen both and chosen, in strength, not weakness, in either direction. A gift to be sure.
Well... Next? Oh, I have to take a break. A good hour of music and sitting. No choice. Then I will go in, redraw the line if necessary, remove the old wax ring and at least set out the new one, then lay the calk, add the new wax ring, and put the system back together. I am not sure if that can all happen in one fell swoop, but... maybe. If so, and I have energy for a shower after, shooting might happen. It is unlikely, not impossible. Now... shoo... I need a bit of nothing. Later.
.
You might not know it from how things turn out, but shooting isn't just a flimsy hobby. I truly enjoy it. As with work, and play, even rest sometimes, my wants are not what happens. If you think just sitting is the goal, a hope, a dream, or a want, or anything but a dire need, you are mistaken. So... I am pushing, hard. As hard as I can.
I chiseled down to the clean, then tried to figure out how to get the backing, kickplate, wood, out of the way. It has gone bad, as has some of the drywall. So, yeah, I have more work to do. Stalling isn't always the best plan, but what is, is. Anyway, I just went brute force, with just a touch of finess to limit the damage to what is still good, and got the wood out. Then I scrubbed. While I don't mop often enough, when I bother to do it, I bother to do it well. One wash mop, then I pull all that water up, then another, and another if necessary, with soapy water, removing as much water as possible after each soapy mop. Then I rinse the mop to clear and clean, and do at least two wet clean water moppings, sopping the water in between, and as a final touch, I dry out the mop, run it clean and clear, and repeat the process one more time. And, so, I did. The only thing I did extra this time was to use an old bath towel to get the floor extra dry in the hope that I can lay a couple of beads of calking sooner than otherwise. Then, of course, I clean the mop for five minutes. Running it in hot water, removing that, and over and over until I can't see an sediment in the squeezed water stream, then do it a few more times. I hate sour mops.
I couldn't find the extra mop head. I know I have one somewhere. But I did find another mop. It had been properly cleaned and set to dry, in the back of one of my utility closets, so it was good to go. I suspect, with two mops, I may buy a couple more replacement heads, on top of the one that has to be replaced anyway. Then put those where I know where they, and other such items, such as vacuum cleaner bags, are stored. Organization takes time. You, if you have never had it, almost have to accident upon such. But if you don't have a mind for it, it won't work. I have just recently obtained the mind for it. But it will... take some time. And it will never quite be completely right. Beyond my personal problems with the notions, there is reality that simply doesn't allow perfect, long term, organization. Saints don't become saints, in other words, without tears, sweat, and blood. Yum! I understand why I used to ignore saints. I am much better off having turned the corner that is allowing me to try to be one though. I've seen both and chosen, in strength, not weakness, in either direction. A gift to be sure.
Well... Next? Oh, I have to take a break. A good hour of music and sitting. No choice. Then I will go in, redraw the line if necessary, remove the old wax ring and at least set out the new one, then lay the calk, add the new wax ring, and put the system back together. I am not sure if that can all happen in one fell swoop, but... maybe. If so, and I have energy for a shower after, shooting might happen. It is unlikely, not impossible. Now... shoo... I need a bit of nothing. Later.
Work ethic strikes again.
.
.
I wasn't sure what I would get to today. Then it hit. Like a fully loaded freight train, the need and want and ability to work struck my from the blindside. I was sitting here moaning and groaning, about this and that, and then, bam, I found myself, with chisels instead of scrapers, two different sizes because I wasn't sure... in the bathroom, on my knees. Gah! Remember, always remember, knee pads. Especially on hard floors. So I grabbed, then installed those, and back to it.
As it turns out, what I had thought was rust stains was merely... calcified dehydrated mineral rich water residue. It scraped off quite easily. Mopping didn't work, even with some serious elbow grease and heavy chemicals. A sharp chisel worked quite well, and without scratching the tile. Good tile, good God, good luck. All I'm saying. I am glad I grabbed two sizes of chisels. One worked really well for general use, one of them was much better for certain areas and a few really small problem areas. I wiped it after descaling, or such, but I believe I will mop, if by hand unless I can find a new head for the mop, let it dry, and hit it one more time. To heck with the pencil marks. Besides, those should be easy enough to replace once I get that floor clean.
I am simply excited to get a fresh chance at having the floor look impeccable. There was a lot of water under the stool, so I suspect my suspicion that water does get out under there probably is the truth. I really have tried to keep the bathroom clean in this last year. It's nice to know that I am not the culprit, as a man pig pee'er, for the stains on the floor. Well, probably. I'll know more once I get the floor back to trim, the calking down, and allow some time to pass. You just can't understand how frustrating this little problem has been. Quite a learning experience, however. And... if it works out... I will have more faith in fixing other problems. Maybe there is a solution, at least to some things.
Right... I best get back to it. I am, mostly, over the morning and last evening grump.
My friend just called. "Let's go shooting!", says he. I can't! But... I told him I'd get to work, and if I get done with plenty of light, and with energy, I'll get us to the range. If not, I suggested tomorrow. His sis is taking him grocery shopping tomorrow, so that's out. Thursday, then, if not today. Committees! No one ever gets exactly what they want but everyone might get some hope of getting some of it. Later.
.
I wasn't sure what I would get to today. Then it hit. Like a fully loaded freight train, the need and want and ability to work struck my from the blindside. I was sitting here moaning and groaning, about this and that, and then, bam, I found myself, with chisels instead of scrapers, two different sizes because I wasn't sure... in the bathroom, on my knees. Gah! Remember, always remember, knee pads. Especially on hard floors. So I grabbed, then installed those, and back to it.
As it turns out, what I had thought was rust stains was merely... calcified dehydrated mineral rich water residue. It scraped off quite easily. Mopping didn't work, even with some serious elbow grease and heavy chemicals. A sharp chisel worked quite well, and without scratching the tile. Good tile, good God, good luck. All I'm saying. I am glad I grabbed two sizes of chisels. One worked really well for general use, one of them was much better for certain areas and a few really small problem areas. I wiped it after descaling, or such, but I believe I will mop, if by hand unless I can find a new head for the mop, let it dry, and hit it one more time. To heck with the pencil marks. Besides, those should be easy enough to replace once I get that floor clean.
I am simply excited to get a fresh chance at having the floor look impeccable. There was a lot of water under the stool, so I suspect my suspicion that water does get out under there probably is the truth. I really have tried to keep the bathroom clean in this last year. It's nice to know that I am not the culprit, as a man pig pee'er, for the stains on the floor. Well, probably. I'll know more once I get the floor back to trim, the calking down, and allow some time to pass. You just can't understand how frustrating this little problem has been. Quite a learning experience, however. And... if it works out... I will have more faith in fixing other problems. Maybe there is a solution, at least to some things.
Right... I best get back to it. I am, mostly, over the morning and last evening grump.
My friend just called. "Let's go shooting!", says he. I can't! But... I told him I'd get to work, and if I get done with plenty of light, and with energy, I'll get us to the range. If not, I suggested tomorrow. His sis is taking him grocery shopping tomorrow, so that's out. Thursday, then, if not today. Committees! No one ever gets exactly what they want but everyone might get some hope of getting some of it. Later.
Grumpy morning to you.
.
.
I have no idea what went wrong last night. It's been brewing while I've been sitting. I didn't finish the toilet. When I removed it it was messy. I did clean the area, roughly, but ended up needing to go to bed after that. I am taking a scraper in, next, and whenever, to remove the wax seal. Though I might use it to try to clean the area better. I don't think it will work. The tiles seem more to be rust-stained than dirty, but I'll give it a shot. I got flustered when the pencil marks simply washed away, even while I was trying to be careful. And this morning, my spine, just below the neck and above the shoulder blades feels like someone added a twist-in railroad spike. A cup of coffee, a few anacin, and a bit of waking time, then I will get to it either way.
Cloudy this morning. It seems like rain will probably be on the way. Warm pjs and warm socks have been keeping me warm enough, if it doesn't really seem to matter. Still, for now, I will take being warm, with a chance at work, than cool but without a chance. I can allow cool on the weekends. Even if I can't do much, the intent is an effort sometimes. And, I'll keep that going during the week. At least aches and pains won't slow me up, or stop me. Nor will sickness, at least from intent. It seems a lazy thing. I used to think it worthless. But it's not. And it does mean, when an opportunity presents itself, some work might happen. It's all I have some days, weeks.
Grumpy indeed. But the girls don't let me stay grumpy for very long. Sassy, especially. She is one chipper bird, unless she wants to be ignored. Then she just goes and does. Sam isn't exactly in a happy mood, always. Especially as she ages. But she wants and needs attention, which does bring my mood up. But feeding and tending them does... bring the mood around. If I am too grumpy, they just wait, or sneak in for a cuddle.
Well... on to waking up. Good day.
.
I have no idea what went wrong last night. It's been brewing while I've been sitting. I didn't finish the toilet. When I removed it it was messy. I did clean the area, roughly, but ended up needing to go to bed after that. I am taking a scraper in, next, and whenever, to remove the wax seal. Though I might use it to try to clean the area better. I don't think it will work. The tiles seem more to be rust-stained than dirty, but I'll give it a shot. I got flustered when the pencil marks simply washed away, even while I was trying to be careful. And this morning, my spine, just below the neck and above the shoulder blades feels like someone added a twist-in railroad spike. A cup of coffee, a few anacin, and a bit of waking time, then I will get to it either way.
Cloudy this morning. It seems like rain will probably be on the way. Warm pjs and warm socks have been keeping me warm enough, if it doesn't really seem to matter. Still, for now, I will take being warm, with a chance at work, than cool but without a chance. I can allow cool on the weekends. Even if I can't do much, the intent is an effort sometimes. And, I'll keep that going during the week. At least aches and pains won't slow me up, or stop me. Nor will sickness, at least from intent. It seems a lazy thing. I used to think it worthless. But it's not. And it does mean, when an opportunity presents itself, some work might happen. It's all I have some days, weeks.
Grumpy indeed. But the girls don't let me stay grumpy for very long. Sassy, especially. She is one chipper bird, unless she wants to be ignored. Then she just goes and does. Sam isn't exactly in a happy mood, always. Especially as she ages. But she wants and needs attention, which does bring my mood up. But feeding and tending them does... bring the mood around. If I am too grumpy, they just wait, or sneak in for a cuddle.
Well... on to waking up. Good day.
Monday, August 25, 2014
Watching, adding, subtracting, figuring.
.
.
Sometimes I catch them. I simply can't find out who. Words, songs, distant posts, they put them together. Sometimes I see things I hand't... understood, by tracking their views. Usually I see that someone has pieced together some of my secrets. You can't give it all, or easily, or simply. Most people can't handle the simple. The complex, and more, ideas I haven't come to a full understanding, aren't possible to give, save in the parts that tear out of me. I can't give what I don't have and I won't give, as a whole, what, perhaps, shouldn't be given. Someone is tracking things down. A pro.
.
Sometimes I catch them. I simply can't find out who. Words, songs, distant posts, they put them together. Sometimes I see things I hand't... understood, by tracking their views. Usually I see that someone has pieced together some of my secrets. You can't give it all, or easily, or simply. Most people can't handle the simple. The complex, and more, ideas I haven't come to a full understanding, aren't possible to give, save in the parts that tear out of me. I can't give what I don't have and I won't give, as a whole, what, perhaps, shouldn't be given. Someone is tracking things down. A pro.
Never can tell.
.
.
I just wasn't sure I would get to anything today. I did sort of head that way, and add tools to the proposed work zone. And I did some cleaning. I would have called it 55% against, 35% for, the project going forward, with 10% that something else altogether might be done. I did get to it, but it isn't finished, yet, of course. Now, given how long things always take, and how I often underestimate, given that I have the toilet pretty much parted, bowl from tank, and everything removed save displacing the bowl, and I found the pencil to mark the outline, I am suspecting I will finish the job before I go to bed. Nothing else will, most likely, be started, let alone completed. But this will be enough.
Even with the right tools, there is always something that was twisted, or has become crusty or rusted, or just doesn't work as it should. And so it went. Nothing unexpectedly unexpected, nothing too serious, no cracks in the bowl, so far, or anywhere. No bolts had to be cut off. The remaining parts aren't too bad, assuming a bolt doesn't drop through the floor or such. I just hope this is the actual problem. There is really one one way to know, and I won't actually know until it is done. I've got to admit, plumbing is not exactly my cup of tea. It's almost as bad as being a mechanic. The ideal world, the best laid plans of men, and the practical real world, even at this level, is stiflingly impractical. You just do it until it works, then hope it doesn't just stop working, any of it... all of it. Still, that I don't have to do it every day, I suppose I can enjoy just tinkering. The chores aren't difficult, but they can be nerve-racking. Everything is fragile, even a chip can have dire consequences. Something as simple as tightening a bolt too tight can lead to failure. That is the part that gets to me.
I didn't make it to the post office, and need to. Several things, from what I can tell, are in. And time is ticking. I'm never sure how long things will last before they must be sent back and I have a horrible time tracking the date. If I get the plumbing done, and have any breath left to me, I may make a run to the post office yet today. We'll see.
Later.
.
I just wasn't sure I would get to anything today. I did sort of head that way, and add tools to the proposed work zone. And I did some cleaning. I would have called it 55% against, 35% for, the project going forward, with 10% that something else altogether might be done. I did get to it, but it isn't finished, yet, of course. Now, given how long things always take, and how I often underestimate, given that I have the toilet pretty much parted, bowl from tank, and everything removed save displacing the bowl, and I found the pencil to mark the outline, I am suspecting I will finish the job before I go to bed. Nothing else will, most likely, be started, let alone completed. But this will be enough.
Even with the right tools, there is always something that was twisted, or has become crusty or rusted, or just doesn't work as it should. And so it went. Nothing unexpectedly unexpected, nothing too serious, no cracks in the bowl, so far, or anywhere. No bolts had to be cut off. The remaining parts aren't too bad, assuming a bolt doesn't drop through the floor or such. I just hope this is the actual problem. There is really one one way to know, and I won't actually know until it is done. I've got to admit, plumbing is not exactly my cup of tea. It's almost as bad as being a mechanic. The ideal world, the best laid plans of men, and the practical real world, even at this level, is stiflingly impractical. You just do it until it works, then hope it doesn't just stop working, any of it... all of it. Still, that I don't have to do it every day, I suppose I can enjoy just tinkering. The chores aren't difficult, but they can be nerve-racking. Everything is fragile, even a chip can have dire consequences. Something as simple as tightening a bolt too tight can lead to failure. That is the part that gets to me.
I didn't make it to the post office, and need to. Several things, from what I can tell, are in. And time is ticking. I'm never sure how long things will last before they must be sent back and I have a horrible time tracking the date. If I get the plumbing done, and have any breath left to me, I may make a run to the post office yet today. We'll see.
Later.
Pushing.
.
.
Wanting to work, and working, are two different things, generally. Both can actually wear you out, mind you, if you are intent while unable, wanting to work is a waste of good energy. I am stuck between the two. I can work, but only with a lot of pushing and shoving. I don't know if it will yield much, either. I mopped the floor in the bathroom, again, while getting ready to work in there. I also broke the mop. I guess there is a limit to how much twisting a mop will take these days. I sure miss the old industrial metal mop head parts. Still, I got that done, and, with a bit of ingenuity, figured out how to get the last of the rinse water up. The tools are still in there, from my last real shot at the project. And the water has been shut of, and as much flushed out, as is possible. I will need to use an old towel to sop the last of the water in the bowl and tank. I just want the floor to dry, so as to be able to mark around the bowl to give me a notion of where to lay the silicone lines.
Push, shove, hurry, wait, look, figure, never as easy as just doing whatever it is you mean to do. Hmm... fried eggs sound good. I wonder what else I have that would go with eggs. I could check the tortillas, maybe see if there are any vegetables that might fit with eggs. Eggs are so bland. Even with hot sauce, it tastes more just like eating hot sauce on bland cheese. Never mind. I'll figure something out. A late lunch, but that's just fine. Wish me luck in getting at least one task done for the day? I'll need it. Later.
.
Wanting to work, and working, are two different things, generally. Both can actually wear you out, mind you, if you are intent while unable, wanting to work is a waste of good energy. I am stuck between the two. I can work, but only with a lot of pushing and shoving. I don't know if it will yield much, either. I mopped the floor in the bathroom, again, while getting ready to work in there. I also broke the mop. I guess there is a limit to how much twisting a mop will take these days. I sure miss the old industrial metal mop head parts. Still, I got that done, and, with a bit of ingenuity, figured out how to get the last of the rinse water up. The tools are still in there, from my last real shot at the project. And the water has been shut of, and as much flushed out, as is possible. I will need to use an old towel to sop the last of the water in the bowl and tank. I just want the floor to dry, so as to be able to mark around the bowl to give me a notion of where to lay the silicone lines.
Push, shove, hurry, wait, look, figure, never as easy as just doing whatever it is you mean to do. Hmm... fried eggs sound good. I wonder what else I have that would go with eggs. I could check the tortillas, maybe see if there are any vegetables that might fit with eggs. Eggs are so bland. Even with hot sauce, it tastes more just like eating hot sauce on bland cheese. Never mind. I'll figure something out. A late lunch, but that's just fine. Wish me luck in getting at least one task done for the day? I'll need it. Later.
Good morning.
.
.
No, I didn't get to even one more thing last night. Wait, yes I did. A shower was taken. That might seem like a simple thing. Sometimes, here, it is. Sometimes it isn't. But it is a task. While not a task on any list, it is on an ongoing clicker idealism.
Stats this morning were mixed. Weight is right were is should be, if that is a bit high. Blood pressure was okay, if not ideal at 135/95, with a pulse at about 65. Blood sugar was quite high, though. I may do another minor increase with insulin. Medicine has been almost perfectly taken for about a month and a week, minus the dustup with insulin, and just for that. I think I have had three major dips this summer, but have gotten back up each time, fairly smoothly and well. But I haven't succeeded all that well in doing all that much. Little stuff, and not much of it. I have found a reason, a focal point, by which to attempt to gather my resources, mid-term and short-term focus, and such. I am not sure if that will help. Time will tell.
Another cool day. It is cloudy and raining off and on. Warm pj's for sure, today. I have some hope of getting going with what I had planned yesterday. Oh, and I have a couple of pieces of medical business to attend. And appointment is due and a procurement is required. A little music, another cup of coffee, and I will see what I will see. Have a good day.
.
No, I didn't get to even one more thing last night. Wait, yes I did. A shower was taken. That might seem like a simple thing. Sometimes, here, it is. Sometimes it isn't. But it is a task. While not a task on any list, it is on an ongoing clicker idealism.
Stats this morning were mixed. Weight is right were is should be, if that is a bit high. Blood pressure was okay, if not ideal at 135/95, with a pulse at about 65. Blood sugar was quite high, though. I may do another minor increase with insulin. Medicine has been almost perfectly taken for about a month and a week, minus the dustup with insulin, and just for that. I think I have had three major dips this summer, but have gotten back up each time, fairly smoothly and well. But I haven't succeeded all that well in doing all that much. Little stuff, and not much of it. I have found a reason, a focal point, by which to attempt to gather my resources, mid-term and short-term focus, and such. I am not sure if that will help. Time will tell.
Another cool day. It is cloudy and raining off and on. Warm pj's for sure, today. I have some hope of getting going with what I had planned yesterday. Oh, and I have a couple of pieces of medical business to attend. And appointment is due and a procurement is required. A little music, another cup of coffee, and I will see what I will see. Have a good day.
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Tools, everywhere, but not THAT one.
.
.
Ouch. I can get a headache when looking for something. Tools are some of the worst. When I am looking for a specific tool it is for a purpose. So it isn't just finding the item, but also that the search is holding up my project. Searches are worse when I am on the edge of function. Every second not only delays the project but burns fumes I can't spare or replace easily. Gah! I got a really good headache going. A handful of anicin should manage it though.
Most of my tools are in pretty good order. I can find a wrench, screwdriver, several various saws, a hammer or mallet, sockets, and probably thirty or forty other things right now. They aren't, all, perfectly ordered. But they are in a general place, and memory serves. It's the rare items, of middling size or which can be covered or back in corners or such, that give me heartburn. In this case it was the greasegun and silicone calking. They were together, I was almost sure. But where they were... I haven't seen them since I bought them, at least a year ago. I think two years ago. I didn't even have a project in progress when I bought them, if I did have a toilet replacement in mind, possibly two. Or maybe just a general notion that bathroom work was in the offing. I need to sit and rest a bit, catch my breath. Oh, and take some anicin.
The goal for today is to dry out and remove the toilet, and the wooden kickplate behind it. But before I remove the toilet, pencil a line around it, then calk two beads under where the stool will sit, replacing all but the wood kickplate. I need to replace that. If I can get that done, I then plan to tinker with the kitchen faucet, with the new piece that I found. If I still have time, and energy, the next plan is to sand the workbench. The thing is, I need to get the trash collected, out, and then the bin to the curb. Perhaps recycling too. I'll find out whether recycling is this or next week, though I think it is next Monday. Something about the sounds last Monday make me think the recycling truck was running then.
Yeah, something has me jazzed. It hits in spurts, I run until stamina dies, and then I rest until strength returns for another sprint. I honestly hate sprints, but if it's all I've got, with as much as I need to do, I'll take it. Later.
.
Ouch. I can get a headache when looking for something. Tools are some of the worst. When I am looking for a specific tool it is for a purpose. So it isn't just finding the item, but also that the search is holding up my project. Searches are worse when I am on the edge of function. Every second not only delays the project but burns fumes I can't spare or replace easily. Gah! I got a really good headache going. A handful of anicin should manage it though.
Most of my tools are in pretty good order. I can find a wrench, screwdriver, several various saws, a hammer or mallet, sockets, and probably thirty or forty other things right now. They aren't, all, perfectly ordered. But they are in a general place, and memory serves. It's the rare items, of middling size or which can be covered or back in corners or such, that give me heartburn. In this case it was the greasegun and silicone calking. They were together, I was almost sure. But where they were... I haven't seen them since I bought them, at least a year ago. I think two years ago. I didn't even have a project in progress when I bought them, if I did have a toilet replacement in mind, possibly two. Or maybe just a general notion that bathroom work was in the offing. I need to sit and rest a bit, catch my breath. Oh, and take some anicin.
The goal for today is to dry out and remove the toilet, and the wooden kickplate behind it. But before I remove the toilet, pencil a line around it, then calk two beads under where the stool will sit, replacing all but the wood kickplate. I need to replace that. If I can get that done, I then plan to tinker with the kitchen faucet, with the new piece that I found. If I still have time, and energy, the next plan is to sand the workbench. The thing is, I need to get the trash collected, out, and then the bin to the curb. Perhaps recycling too. I'll find out whether recycling is this or next week, though I think it is next Monday. Something about the sounds last Monday make me think the recycling truck was running then.
Yeah, something has me jazzed. It hits in spurts, I run until stamina dies, and then I rest until strength returns for another sprint. I honestly hate sprints, but if it's all I've got, with as much as I need to do, I'll take it. Later.
Finally!
.
.
It may have just been a moment. It might be how things will work in the near future. I don't know quite yet. While this week has been active, it has been more of a fake it until you make it sort of thing. Sure, I got things done. But there was no way to make it over the line or do as many extras as I had really hoped. I didn't grimace about it, because just doing something, and reasonable amounts of projects, trips, and such, was such a vast improvement over the last couple of stumbles. Still, I knew I wasn't kicking in.
I thought today was going to be like yesterday. Even with warm long leg sweat bottoms, and the sun being up and out, it wasn't looking like I would be doing anything, again. Which, I suppose, given that it is a rest day, would have been fine. It just wasn't my choice. I noticed that it had just passed noon. The bathroom called, and I needed coffee too. As I completed those tasks, I looked at the double boiler I purchased the other day.
It started with simple curiosity. I wanted to look the pots, lid, and such, over. Coated in a hard, strong, film of plastic to keep the kit bundled, I first had to find my knife, one of them. I prefer my pocket or simpler defense knives for such tasks. It took just a bit. I use them often and they simply travel for other reasons anyway. The two in my pants I like to keep there, so I skipped those. Plus, looking for my knife keeps track of the darned thing. After a rather short search, I popped the plastic off and looked over the parts of the kit. I really hate to use this as intended, as it will not be useful as such again. It is a decent set, and it is one of those things I don't have in my kitchen equipment stocks. Still... Hmm, maybe next month, I will buy another one, just for the kitchen. But that isn't the whole point. It's sort of like using a brand new shirt as a mop. The idea is psychically cloying. Especially if you have, or are, otherwise going without.
From there, several things took off. I ended up seeking, and finding, the paraffin wax needed for the firestarters, which had been waiting on a double boiler. That took a bit, and while doing that, I noticed I had canned oysters. I did mention it was a touch after noon, right? Lunch! But did I have crackers? Yep. Some things... I just like some things, some ways. Though, since I had not only milk, but cream and butter, I could have gone without crackers. It's a matter of... texture, density. Two in one. So I started the water and heat in the double boiler, for the paraffin, and began warming milk, cream, butter, and pepper for the stew. While that was going, I began setting egg cartons out and filling them with lint. Six egg cartons, though, now that I have learned some things, I am thinking I could probably fill eight to ten cartons per load of paraffin. I simply didn't have any more right on hand. One thing off my list, plus lunch.
Further, after I digest lunch, I do believe I will dig into a few other things. Perhaps, as with last week, not as much as I hope. But, this time, in spite of doing less than hoped, that will actually be going over the line, given that the day had been a dead-ender until... something popped. Some times less is more, or even the same is much more. Strange thoughts, but true. Today, already, is more than last week, even if I don't do one more thing. It is much more than I had anticipated. But I don't think it is done. Two simple projects on my mind, though both could turn into... problems. So... I'll see. Later.
.
It may have just been a moment. It might be how things will work in the near future. I don't know quite yet. While this week has been active, it has been more of a fake it until you make it sort of thing. Sure, I got things done. But there was no way to make it over the line or do as many extras as I had really hoped. I didn't grimace about it, because just doing something, and reasonable amounts of projects, trips, and such, was such a vast improvement over the last couple of stumbles. Still, I knew I wasn't kicking in.
I thought today was going to be like yesterday. Even with warm long leg sweat bottoms, and the sun being up and out, it wasn't looking like I would be doing anything, again. Which, I suppose, given that it is a rest day, would have been fine. It just wasn't my choice. I noticed that it had just passed noon. The bathroom called, and I needed coffee too. As I completed those tasks, I looked at the double boiler I purchased the other day.
It started with simple curiosity. I wanted to look the pots, lid, and such, over. Coated in a hard, strong, film of plastic to keep the kit bundled, I first had to find my knife, one of them. I prefer my pocket or simpler defense knives for such tasks. It took just a bit. I use them often and they simply travel for other reasons anyway. The two in my pants I like to keep there, so I skipped those. Plus, looking for my knife keeps track of the darned thing. After a rather short search, I popped the plastic off and looked over the parts of the kit. I really hate to use this as intended, as it will not be useful as such again. It is a decent set, and it is one of those things I don't have in my kitchen equipment stocks. Still... Hmm, maybe next month, I will buy another one, just for the kitchen. But that isn't the whole point. It's sort of like using a brand new shirt as a mop. The idea is psychically cloying. Especially if you have, or are, otherwise going without.
From there, several things took off. I ended up seeking, and finding, the paraffin wax needed for the firestarters, which had been waiting on a double boiler. That took a bit, and while doing that, I noticed I had canned oysters. I did mention it was a touch after noon, right? Lunch! But did I have crackers? Yep. Some things... I just like some things, some ways. Though, since I had not only milk, but cream and butter, I could have gone without crackers. It's a matter of... texture, density. Two in one. So I started the water and heat in the double boiler, for the paraffin, and began warming milk, cream, butter, and pepper for the stew. While that was going, I began setting egg cartons out and filling them with lint. Six egg cartons, though, now that I have learned some things, I am thinking I could probably fill eight to ten cartons per load of paraffin. I simply didn't have any more right on hand. One thing off my list, plus lunch.
Further, after I digest lunch, I do believe I will dig into a few other things. Perhaps, as with last week, not as much as I hope. But, this time, in spite of doing less than hoped, that will actually be going over the line, given that the day had been a dead-ender until... something popped. Some times less is more, or even the same is much more. Strange thoughts, but true. Today, already, is more than last week, even if I don't do one more thing. It is much more than I had anticipated. But I don't think it is done. Two simple projects on my mind, though both could turn into... problems. So... I'll see. Later.
Another day, another chance.
.
.
I didn't go down until about midnight. I think the late sleep was because of the lack of effort yesterday. I probably could have, if I realized the problem... the cool weather, sorted that, if I had spotted it earlier. But by the time I saw the problem the day was pretty much done. The body, like a clock, runs on a sort of spring. The mechanism, as a whole, can be altered. But after half, or more, of the spring strength is used, recalibration is much less successful. Re-winding has several and varied drawbacks. So, what was, was. Live and learn.
Today the sun was up, at least when I looked just a bit ago. I won't depend on that completely, though. When the world is cooled, as an environment, the sun can't just infuse warmth back. It takes time. Until I know better, for certain, I need to tend my body temp a little more closely. - PJ bottoms. Oh, yeah, that helps. I have to work on being warm right off, or I end up having a dead day. I can always cut back to shorts, but, as with the watch, when the spring is half spent, I am stuck.
Today? I don't know. I have a number of chores I would like to explore, finish, fix, or consider. Too many, really. But, one at a time, here and there, and I might get a few of them done. I sleep better each time I finish something, small or large. I sit better in the world. One fewer mental itches scratching around in my bean. Besides, I just like doing, even when I can't completely finish. Sunday, is it? Well, alright. Good day. Get to church, you dang heathen! Take me in your back pocket, even if you think I'm the devil side of things. Who needs it more, if so!
Later.
.
I didn't go down until about midnight. I think the late sleep was because of the lack of effort yesterday. I probably could have, if I realized the problem... the cool weather, sorted that, if I had spotted it earlier. But by the time I saw the problem the day was pretty much done. The body, like a clock, runs on a sort of spring. The mechanism, as a whole, can be altered. But after half, or more, of the spring strength is used, recalibration is much less successful. Re-winding has several and varied drawbacks. So, what was, was. Live and learn.
Today the sun was up, at least when I looked just a bit ago. I won't depend on that completely, though. When the world is cooled, as an environment, the sun can't just infuse warmth back. It takes time. Until I know better, for certain, I need to tend my body temp a little more closely. - PJ bottoms. Oh, yeah, that helps. I have to work on being warm right off, or I end up having a dead day. I can always cut back to shorts, but, as with the watch, when the spring is half spent, I am stuck.
Today? I don't know. I have a number of chores I would like to explore, finish, fix, or consider. Too many, really. But, one at a time, here and there, and I might get a few of them done. I sleep better each time I finish something, small or large. I sit better in the world. One fewer mental itches scratching around in my bean. Besides, I just like doing, even when I can't completely finish. Sunday, is it? Well, alright. Good day. Get to church, you dang heathen! Take me in your back pocket, even if you think I'm the devil side of things. Who needs it more, if so!
Later.
Saturday, August 23, 2014
The day has slipped by.
.
.
It was a rest day, so no major problems. I just couldn't get my feet under me. A few hours ago I realized the problem. It's cool. Rain, a cold rain, has been cycling on and off all day. It feels more like a September rain. It's been doing this for the last few days, and more than I am used to it for the last week, really. Perhaps today is a culmination of the cooling over time. It's an unusual thing, at least as I gauge Augusts. I am just getting used to the weather patterns here. Then again, just as with Iowa and everywhere else, the sense that the weather is normal is subjective to which local you speak with. Feeling down? Then the weather is odd. Feeling good? Then it's all good, including the weather. Some are more observant, some less so, and yet that doesn't seem to matter. Stats don't really help because of recent, mid, and long term variability. Hmm... in brief, for a summer day, it is cool enough to feel cold.
No worries. As I said, it is a day of rest. I just got more of a dose of rest than I intended. Tomorrow, if it is the same, I'll pull out a pair of flannel pajama bottoms. Hmm, actually I'll get that out now. I can't believe I am actually just a bit chilly! Then again, if you know me at all, you know I am enjoying it. And it is restful all by itself. The occasional pattering of rain even more so.
I have started pulling out the big guns when debating. I don't do a lot of actual debate. Most people are either too far gone or too timid. However, I can make a point, or series of them, based on a bit of logic, a bit of the practical, a bit of the historic, and a few other things, then tie them together into a cohesive package. That is the goal anyway. And, sometimes, I am asked to, and do, defend that. I won't say that I am offering perfect logic, only that I am attempting to offer more than snark.
Then again, I don't believe we can corner perfect logic. I am not sure if it is just mankind, but I do believe, after the fall, perfection became a goal that is not attainable in any area of life. It is as if the corners of our minds were like the corners of a cabinet. And, as a group, we all made a decision, one that can't be changed, that made all of those a few degrees, or more, off. Now we can do some practical things with our cabinets, like make sure the coffee cups don't slide out. But in doing so we have to do other things, there is a trade off. Either the cups lean into the cabinet, or the cabinet looks more off-kilter than we like, perhaps both, and worse if we aren't attuned to the notion that we aren't very good at these things. We can still see the idea of a square cabinet, we just can't create that. Yes... something like that. So, I do my best at developing the most appropriate confluence of wrong angles for both function and aesthetics within the confines of imperfection. It's as good as I can do.
Life isn't bad, even when I am a little tired. Needing rest is a good thing. Being able to plan, and consider, work, play, and rest, if none if it at the level I should be able to attain, is still better than the options. All save one, but all things in their due time. One simply cannot rush perfection, especially when approaching it imperfectly already. Yes, yes I do. I think I can be quite funny. Later.
.
It was a rest day, so no major problems. I just couldn't get my feet under me. A few hours ago I realized the problem. It's cool. Rain, a cold rain, has been cycling on and off all day. It feels more like a September rain. It's been doing this for the last few days, and more than I am used to it for the last week, really. Perhaps today is a culmination of the cooling over time. It's an unusual thing, at least as I gauge Augusts. I am just getting used to the weather patterns here. Then again, just as with Iowa and everywhere else, the sense that the weather is normal is subjective to which local you speak with. Feeling down? Then the weather is odd. Feeling good? Then it's all good, including the weather. Some are more observant, some less so, and yet that doesn't seem to matter. Stats don't really help because of recent, mid, and long term variability. Hmm... in brief, for a summer day, it is cool enough to feel cold.
No worries. As I said, it is a day of rest. I just got more of a dose of rest than I intended. Tomorrow, if it is the same, I'll pull out a pair of flannel pajama bottoms. Hmm, actually I'll get that out now. I can't believe I am actually just a bit chilly! Then again, if you know me at all, you know I am enjoying it. And it is restful all by itself. The occasional pattering of rain even more so.
I have started pulling out the big guns when debating. I don't do a lot of actual debate. Most people are either too far gone or too timid. However, I can make a point, or series of them, based on a bit of logic, a bit of the practical, a bit of the historic, and a few other things, then tie them together into a cohesive package. That is the goal anyway. And, sometimes, I am asked to, and do, defend that. I won't say that I am offering perfect logic, only that I am attempting to offer more than snark.
Then again, I don't believe we can corner perfect logic. I am not sure if it is just mankind, but I do believe, after the fall, perfection became a goal that is not attainable in any area of life. It is as if the corners of our minds were like the corners of a cabinet. And, as a group, we all made a decision, one that can't be changed, that made all of those a few degrees, or more, off. Now we can do some practical things with our cabinets, like make sure the coffee cups don't slide out. But in doing so we have to do other things, there is a trade off. Either the cups lean into the cabinet, or the cabinet looks more off-kilter than we like, perhaps both, and worse if we aren't attuned to the notion that we aren't very good at these things. We can still see the idea of a square cabinet, we just can't create that. Yes... something like that. So, I do my best at developing the most appropriate confluence of wrong angles for both function and aesthetics within the confines of imperfection. It's as good as I can do.
Life isn't bad, even when I am a little tired. Needing rest is a good thing. Being able to plan, and consider, work, play, and rest, if none if it at the level I should be able to attain, is still better than the options. All save one, but all things in their due time. One simply cannot rush perfection, especially when approaching it imperfectly already. Yes, yes I do. I think I can be quite funny. Later.
Puzzles.
.
.
Beside the big puzzles, each day I seek to solve smaller and larger puzzles. Some will take the rest of my life and never be fully solved, or remain solved. Memory what it is, and the softness of reality as we can understand it or contain it, changes, and time, among other oddities and variables make solving even what should be manageable, or even what is manageable, a success and not a known. If you learn to hold your breath for five minutes, will you be able to do that five years from that point? If you solve a rubics cube, even to memorizing the pattern, is this something you will know ten years from now? Such is life. Focusing on needs and some wants requires what had been, and what might become, needs and wants, to whiter in the mind, will, and way. A gift as much as a price.
This day I found myself puzzling life and love. The past, the present, and the future, regarding these things. I look for words thought and music, to explore, explain, or even muddy those waters. The finest definitions and the clearest of thinking cannot overcome emotion, sentiment, even tradition. If logic were purely true, and we were purely logical, we wouldn't be people. Machines? Perhaps. Never mind. I slipped into exploring the mechanics behind what I found myself considering just here. Back to the topic.
I remember my various attempts at love. My early years of libertine love, through naivete, ignorance, even innocence. Sex was an activity. No gain, no loss, just something to do while engaging with a beautiful creature. As time and maturity caught up with the idea, as the reality of pregnancy and emotional and practical implications, social expectations, and so on became a part of the equation, the seemingly ideal libertine approach had to be sidelined. While that did continue for some time, it became a thing that either had to be surrendered, or kept but at a dear price to the idea that I was good. My first real foray into the more adult notion of love and sex ended quite tragically. Not long after, tragedies in other areas, and health failure, lead to an inability to do anything but act and react, almost blindly. I couldn't know love because I couldn't feel it.
.
Beside the big puzzles, each day I seek to solve smaller and larger puzzles. Some will take the rest of my life and never be fully solved, or remain solved. Memory what it is, and the softness of reality as we can understand it or contain it, changes, and time, among other oddities and variables make solving even what should be manageable, or even what is manageable, a success and not a known. If you learn to hold your breath for five minutes, will you be able to do that five years from that point? If you solve a rubics cube, even to memorizing the pattern, is this something you will know ten years from now? Such is life. Focusing on needs and some wants requires what had been, and what might become, needs and wants, to whiter in the mind, will, and way. A gift as much as a price.
This day I found myself puzzling life and love. The past, the present, and the future, regarding these things. I look for words thought and music, to explore, explain, or even muddy those waters. The finest definitions and the clearest of thinking cannot overcome emotion, sentiment, even tradition. If logic were purely true, and we were purely logical, we wouldn't be people. Machines? Perhaps. Never mind. I slipped into exploring the mechanics behind what I found myself considering just here. Back to the topic.
I remember my various attempts at love. My early years of libertine love, through naivete, ignorance, even innocence. Sex was an activity. No gain, no loss, just something to do while engaging with a beautiful creature. As time and maturity caught up with the idea, as the reality of pregnancy and emotional and practical implications, social expectations, and so on became a part of the equation, the seemingly ideal libertine approach had to be sidelined. While that did continue for some time, it became a thing that either had to be surrendered, or kept but at a dear price to the idea that I was good. My first real foray into the more adult notion of love and sex ended quite tragically. Not long after, tragedies in other areas, and health failure, lead to an inability to do anything but act and react, almost blindly. I couldn't know love because I couldn't feel it.
Nice.
.
.
A Saturday, and I knew it. I knew each day this week. I did something pretty much every day. I've kept things rolling. A slow roll some days. I knew what each day was. While summer seems to be closing shop, or at least a bit broken, fall and winter are just fine in the kind of shape I am in. A number of projects are being managed, some nearing their finality, some just a few steps off. Sure, some projects haven't quite gone as hoped. But they have seen some attention and effort. You really can't win them all, up front, first, second, even third shot. Some efforts will never see the kind of fruit one hopes in the beginning. Others, well... It can be amazing what constant small efforts can offer for results.
It is a cool day. It is a day of mild rest. The perfect day for some humble, simple, chores, tasks, planning, and living. I can't remember what I had on tap, roughly, yesterday. And, really, if those things, whatever they were, come up on the block, I may do them. If not I will find something else to fill some of my time. Breakfast was had, medicine will go down in a bit, a cup of coffee has been sipped, it's all a green light so far. I need to get to the post office. If what I suspect to be in, is in, I may have a very specific task for today in preparation for next week.
I have to say, the movie I watched last night was excellent. I wasn't preached secular morality, I didn't have to fumble through modern political correctness or falsified racial, gender, or cultural falsities, and I didn't have the trip over lies and damn lies. The story was simple enough, the hook wasn't as foreseeable as most, though not completely improbable within the notions that were offered. And while it did have a sort of Hollywood ending, it wasn't the type that such a set would typically endorse. The Lady in Black, while a horror, and a good one, was rather... mild, as things go today. Probably too mild, save for some of the thematic sets and notions, for me to call a modern horror. I would say, all givens, it is milder than the werewolf or vampire movies of the earlier part of the last century. So well done, though, that... I truly enjoyed. Miracles are still possible. I watched it merely to kill time between ending my day and bedtime last night. Usually I don't write those up, just watch then go to bed. Further, it is free to Amazon prime subscribers. Double tap.
I best finish waking, sort out my day, and get to some things. Later.
.
A Saturday, and I knew it. I knew each day this week. I did something pretty much every day. I've kept things rolling. A slow roll some days. I knew what each day was. While summer seems to be closing shop, or at least a bit broken, fall and winter are just fine in the kind of shape I am in. A number of projects are being managed, some nearing their finality, some just a few steps off. Sure, some projects haven't quite gone as hoped. But they have seen some attention and effort. You really can't win them all, up front, first, second, even third shot. Some efforts will never see the kind of fruit one hopes in the beginning. Others, well... It can be amazing what constant small efforts can offer for results.
It is a cool day. It is a day of mild rest. The perfect day for some humble, simple, chores, tasks, planning, and living. I can't remember what I had on tap, roughly, yesterday. And, really, if those things, whatever they were, come up on the block, I may do them. If not I will find something else to fill some of my time. Breakfast was had, medicine will go down in a bit, a cup of coffee has been sipped, it's all a green light so far. I need to get to the post office. If what I suspect to be in, is in, I may have a very specific task for today in preparation for next week.
I have to say, the movie I watched last night was excellent. I wasn't preached secular morality, I didn't have to fumble through modern political correctness or falsified racial, gender, or cultural falsities, and I didn't have the trip over lies and damn lies. The story was simple enough, the hook wasn't as foreseeable as most, though not completely improbable within the notions that were offered. And while it did have a sort of Hollywood ending, it wasn't the type that such a set would typically endorse. The Lady in Black, while a horror, and a good one, was rather... mild, as things go today. Probably too mild, save for some of the thematic sets and notions, for me to call a modern horror. I would say, all givens, it is milder than the werewolf or vampire movies of the earlier part of the last century. So well done, though, that... I truly enjoyed. Miracles are still possible. I watched it merely to kill time between ending my day and bedtime last night. Usually I don't write those up, just watch then go to bed. Further, it is free to Amazon prime subscribers. Double tap.
I best finish waking, sort out my day, and get to some things. Later.
Friday, August 22, 2014
A fine day of rest.
.
.
The nap helped. Food helped. Further, with medicine moderated, scheduled, and leveled, life is back on some sort of reasonable track. I may need another day of partial rest.
I am hoping to create more of the firestarters tomorrow, for the grill, camping, whatever. As well, I am hoping to mix the stain concoction for the workbench, and perhaps sand that and get that project started. It will take several days of finishing. Finish is added until the wood no longer soaks it in. Days, a week, more, I simply do not know. There are probably a few other little things, if I can, I would like to do in the next few days. It is a weekend, and I do have business and a visit this coming week, so I will be working, but more lightly, this weekend. Something about deference to the weekend, but a need to get back in the saddle, all while not spilling all of the wind from my sails and ruining next week. Balance, wisdom, efficiency, success, temperament, and a whole bunch of other words that are their own truths or just... words.
Strength has returned, stamina is breathlessly trying to catch up. I feel like, and do, I have far too much to do and far little time to do it. Not only am I behind, I am late. I was late before I started and I have, and will continue, to fall behind until... I am right on time. There is one appointment no one is ever late attending. It isn't a request. Then again, some at least seem to be decades late, or more. I am almost certain that appointment is longer off than even what I currently suspect. I am generally conservative about such estimates. But no one knows.
It truly has been a fine day. There has been darkness. A dream, and the portents that swirled around it. A movie... Lady in Black, with the lead actor of Harry Potter fame. A very good movie. And, if you should see it, the atmospherics, minus quite as much activity, is an old time version of my life. Instead of me chasing shadows, they seem to chase me. Those that were in my life, and others, I should think. I chased them for some time, until I realized they could not be caught, and just what they were. It wasn't enough. Still, understanding has helped. Little bits of actual tinkering transpired. A bit of business. Some planning. A busy day for a rest day. But it all fit neatly into my little pocket-life. Perfect, really. Idyllic, to my notions.
I will sleep well. I will pray for me, you, and them. And I will prepare to shove them off the gang-plank, if such was never actually done. Still... why not, if they deserve it. Justice delayed, and such. It's not even 22:00 and it's well past bedtime? All good. Good night.
.
The nap helped. Food helped. Further, with medicine moderated, scheduled, and leveled, life is back on some sort of reasonable track. I may need another day of partial rest.
I am hoping to create more of the firestarters tomorrow, for the grill, camping, whatever. As well, I am hoping to mix the stain concoction for the workbench, and perhaps sand that and get that project started. It will take several days of finishing. Finish is added until the wood no longer soaks it in. Days, a week, more, I simply do not know. There are probably a few other little things, if I can, I would like to do in the next few days. It is a weekend, and I do have business and a visit this coming week, so I will be working, but more lightly, this weekend. Something about deference to the weekend, but a need to get back in the saddle, all while not spilling all of the wind from my sails and ruining next week. Balance, wisdom, efficiency, success, temperament, and a whole bunch of other words that are their own truths or just... words.
Strength has returned, stamina is breathlessly trying to catch up. I feel like, and do, I have far too much to do and far little time to do it. Not only am I behind, I am late. I was late before I started and I have, and will continue, to fall behind until... I am right on time. There is one appointment no one is ever late attending. It isn't a request. Then again, some at least seem to be decades late, or more. I am almost certain that appointment is longer off than even what I currently suspect. I am generally conservative about such estimates. But no one knows.
It truly has been a fine day. There has been darkness. A dream, and the portents that swirled around it. A movie... Lady in Black, with the lead actor of Harry Potter fame. A very good movie. And, if you should see it, the atmospherics, minus quite as much activity, is an old time version of my life. Instead of me chasing shadows, they seem to chase me. Those that were in my life, and others, I should think. I chased them for some time, until I realized they could not be caught, and just what they were. It wasn't enough. Still, understanding has helped. Little bits of actual tinkering transpired. A bit of business. Some planning. A busy day for a rest day. But it all fit neatly into my little pocket-life. Perfect, really. Idyllic, to my notions.
I will sleep well. I will pray for me, you, and them. And I will prepare to shove them off the gang-plank, if such was never actually done. Still... why not, if they deserve it. Justice delayed, and such. It's not even 22:00 and it's well past bedtime? All good. Good night.
A nap.
.
.
I made it to 14:00. While most of my activities have been light to very light, I have been somewhat active. With two days in town in a row and an early rise, plus light activity, I was sort of surprised I made it to 14:00. That is the tail end of my preferred nap cut-off time, too. I could have napped a bit earlier, but as the need crept up on me I became glued to the chair. Odd how that works. A short nap, less than two hours, probably only an hour of sleep. Just right.
I won't be doing much else today. I am worn from this, that, and the last few days. I am much better than I was last week though, even so. I have begun sparring, with a wakeful and conscientious mind. Rather than blathering about feelings, or opinions, I have been trying to slice with what logic I can bring to bear on topics. Oh, I... do have a dark side. Apoplexy is something I commonly cause in moderns, most of whom have never even been in a fist fight, yet whose vote is considered when choosing politicians to face off against whole cultures which are ready, willing, able, and actually actively slicing off heads of men, women, and children. So liberal heads simply explode. One could wish anyway. So, my comments are not always... appreciated. I figure, if nothing else, I am easing them into a very certain future. If they won't vote to even defend their very lives, insisting on the magic of diplomacy and having "conversations with the enemy", then they will be having conversations with the enemy. But not over there. Welcome to the grand future.
Sam has really fluffed out. We have had some cold winters since I have been here, but she has never furred up this heavily before. I am thinking this might really turn into a cold winter. Sassy is an indoor cat, so she doesn't really change. Sam prefers outdoors, and will risk even snow for a little "me time". It isn't just Sassy she escapes. It's the cave, and me. And, of course, too... she is a hunter at heart. A think I dearly love about the little snagglepuss. Precisely violent with a keen reasoning, but not unwilling to enjoy it. A girl after my own heart.
Yes, yes, perhaps I am in a somewhat dark mood. Dreams of Vlad Tepes, and marching forth with him against the Ottomans. A terrible enemy only bested by being more terrible. Being in the Order of the Dragon, myself, I had sworn to protect Christendom, and did so. The only souls lost were those of the blood cult and those who helped them. Dems, then and now, have bowed to gold and betray all they can for it. They can't betray their principals, at least. They don't have any. Such dreams...
Later.
.
I made it to 14:00. While most of my activities have been light to very light, I have been somewhat active. With two days in town in a row and an early rise, plus light activity, I was sort of surprised I made it to 14:00. That is the tail end of my preferred nap cut-off time, too. I could have napped a bit earlier, but as the need crept up on me I became glued to the chair. Odd how that works. A short nap, less than two hours, probably only an hour of sleep. Just right.
I won't be doing much else today. I am worn from this, that, and the last few days. I am much better than I was last week though, even so. I have begun sparring, with a wakeful and conscientious mind. Rather than blathering about feelings, or opinions, I have been trying to slice with what logic I can bring to bear on topics. Oh, I... do have a dark side. Apoplexy is something I commonly cause in moderns, most of whom have never even been in a fist fight, yet whose vote is considered when choosing politicians to face off against whole cultures which are ready, willing, able, and actually actively slicing off heads of men, women, and children. So liberal heads simply explode. One could wish anyway. So, my comments are not always... appreciated. I figure, if nothing else, I am easing them into a very certain future. If they won't vote to even defend their very lives, insisting on the magic of diplomacy and having "conversations with the enemy", then they will be having conversations with the enemy. But not over there. Welcome to the grand future.
Sam has really fluffed out. We have had some cold winters since I have been here, but she has never furred up this heavily before. I am thinking this might really turn into a cold winter. Sassy is an indoor cat, so she doesn't really change. Sam prefers outdoors, and will risk even snow for a little "me time". It isn't just Sassy she escapes. It's the cave, and me. And, of course, too... she is a hunter at heart. A think I dearly love about the little snagglepuss. Precisely violent with a keen reasoning, but not unwilling to enjoy it. A girl after my own heart.
Yes, yes, perhaps I am in a somewhat dark mood. Dreams of Vlad Tepes, and marching forth with him against the Ottomans. A terrible enemy only bested by being more terrible. Being in the Order of the Dragon, myself, I had sworn to protect Christendom, and did so. The only souls lost were those of the blood cult and those who helped them. Dems, then and now, have bowed to gold and betray all they can for it. They can't betray their principals, at least. They don't have any. Such dreams...
Later.
Ongoing projects.
.
.
While I am resting today I am not just setting around. It's not even noon and I've taken care of a few processes for some ongoing projects. Just because all you see from the crocodile is bubbles doesn't mean the bubbles are just from breathing. Percolation. Actually, I need to throw some meat down the hatch to keep that part of life up. While I was out to dinner yesterday, I went ahead and bought some broasted chicken so I wouldn't have to cook for a few days. Yeah, but I knew I had pushed it. And food helps with recovery if I can keep that going. And with coffee, or better yet milk, on tap, that should work out well.
My mother called. My brother sent me some ridiculous sum of money for my... For no reason. In talking with him, he told her to make sure I cashed it. Having a loose check out there gives him the heebiejeebies. Now, cruel as I am, I accidentally already took pity on the lad. While I was out yesterday I added the thing to my account. I'm actually pleased to have done something just right, even if it was just the happenstance of an odd confluence of events. On some things, a broken clock does have more surety. It's nice to be lucky, even if I can't imagine him sweating the situation. Oh, I love him. But I like him too. Which... gives me lots of room for mischief. Don't you wish you knew me better?
Pieces and parts of projects in progress and soon to be. This, that, the other thing. It is never sure, it is never over, it is never complete, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Even a snail, eventually, gets there. Even a turtle finds love. Even Doom has some little touches of joy. I might not get to much, physically. Though I already have done some things. One of the ongoing project just got a touch of my magic. A piece, a part, a learning or three, some measurements, and... more necessities and possibilities ordered. And, with a relatively clear economic conscience.
Lunch? Why, I do believe so. Foul fowls frolicking cold and featherless leave me wishing to warm them with my presence. I think I mentioned crocodile in there, somewhere. It's not just for passing time doing the nearly unseen, war, or love, you know. Gnom... gnom gnom. Hungry! Later.
.
While I am resting today I am not just setting around. It's not even noon and I've taken care of a few processes for some ongoing projects. Just because all you see from the crocodile is bubbles doesn't mean the bubbles are just from breathing. Percolation. Actually, I need to throw some meat down the hatch to keep that part of life up. While I was out to dinner yesterday, I went ahead and bought some broasted chicken so I wouldn't have to cook for a few days. Yeah, but I knew I had pushed it. And food helps with recovery if I can keep that going. And with coffee, or better yet milk, on tap, that should work out well.
My mother called. My brother sent me some ridiculous sum of money for my... For no reason. In talking with him, he told her to make sure I cashed it. Having a loose check out there gives him the heebiejeebies. Now, cruel as I am, I accidentally already took pity on the lad. While I was out yesterday I added the thing to my account. I'm actually pleased to have done something just right, even if it was just the happenstance of an odd confluence of events. On some things, a broken clock does have more surety. It's nice to be lucky, even if I can't imagine him sweating the situation. Oh, I love him. But I like him too. Which... gives me lots of room for mischief. Don't you wish you knew me better?
Pieces and parts of projects in progress and soon to be. This, that, the other thing. It is never sure, it is never over, it is never complete, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Even a snail, eventually, gets there. Even a turtle finds love. Even Doom has some little touches of joy. I might not get to much, physically. Though I already have done some things. One of the ongoing project just got a touch of my magic. A piece, a part, a learning or three, some measurements, and... more necessities and possibilities ordered. And, with a relatively clear economic conscience.
Lunch? Why, I do believe so. Foul fowls frolicking cold and featherless leave me wishing to warm them with my presence. I think I mentioned crocodile in there, somewhere. It's not just for passing time doing the nearly unseen, war, or love, you know. Gnom... gnom gnom. Hungry! Later.
Back in postive territory.
.
.
From what I hear, the stock markets too. So long as they keep burning the value of the dollar, as per worldly fiscal pursuits, the markets will keep *increasing in value. I am glad my ups and downs aren't based on corporatist government mismanagement of the dollar. All I'm saying there.
Even with a quicker cool down, an easier shorter day out, and everything else working in my favor, I could not get to bed until a bit after midnight. I think I was tired enough a bit earlier. I simply didn't have the energy to get up and go to bed. Some of you know exactly what I am talking about. I set the alarm for 10:00, hoping to wake earlier. Right after 6:00 I woke and comfortably. It's a very nice morning. No real aches or pains, but that doesn't mean much. Some mornings I feel pain right away. Sometimes then it fades as I wake, or not. Some days I can't feel pain until I am awake. I never know which it will be. Two days to town in a row makes me suspect I will suffer mild pains today, muscles, relating to walking a couple of miles. You didn't think I just road an electric cart, did you? And, when on my own, I move. It will be simple, and mild, pain, and last for a few days. The better type of pain, as I have suggested. The rust chipping pain I enjoy.
A pot of coffee brews, medicine is looking me in the eye, the notion that I need to order insulin is in my mind, and a few tasks haunt me into wakefulness. All good things. It is turning into the perfect sort of day. If I can get to some of those things, or all of the few that taunt, which I might, it would become a perfect simple, humble, rest type day.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I had a terribly wonderful dream. In it I had lived a rushed life. As a military officer, who had jumped ranks and then risen well into mid-level command, I had become accustomed to being given generic orders, managing and arranging how those were done, and who would do them, and moving on, but very successfully. For the first twenty years of my career, in the dream, I had been as hard-driven, and hard-bitten, as a ten penny nail. I commanded no more or less than I demanded from myself... exceptional, nearly reckless, dedication. Then, as in real life, I became stricken. I don't know what the illness was, but the effects were similar if a little less restrictive compared to real life. Then, as in real life, I had to make choices, surrender my hopes and plans for, probably, a jump to upper, civilian, or diplomatic command. I wasn't ready for it, no one is, not even those who naturally decline. And yet, there it was.
I had two choices, really. I could face the reality, or hide from it, or worse. It was a serious struggle, especially while still trying to control the steering wheel of life while falling asleep at that wheel. After a time, I came to understand, to relent. A passenger, rather than driver, in life, it would have to be. But more, I came to appreciate the gift. Much more quickly, and surely, than I have in real life. Able, in the dream though, to carry on more of a life, though I am not sure, from the dream and my real life, which would actually be more difficult. One more teasing, offering some possibilities. The other a complete end to most physical function. In either case, I did come to enjoy, be a part of the world in a patriarchal, but simpler, fashion.
Through time I came to associate with the younger men, the up-and-comers who would replace my generation. I retained access through my reputation and past success. I became someone these types would seek out, for wisdom, for advice both career and personal, as a mentor, teacher, even rough philosopher. As with real life, I found God, who became my anchor. But I didn't completely ignore the mundane, the secular, the political, the chain of command structure to which I had been a party. As such, I looked for men who were like what I had been, specifically. I hoped to guide them, even with their health, into a better place.
In the case in question, the younger, but middle-aged, man I had targeted was more in the political and bureaucratic, rather than military circles. He rarely had time for friends, such as myself. Worse, he had little time for the only human friend he should have time to tend... himself. I began working with him quite simply. Just as a friend who had time when he could spare it and wanted a moment of company. I slowly bridled him with mild demands of time, and effort, but kept that from becoming overwhelming, an annoyance or too great of one. Then the real work began.
Slowly, over time, I brought him to slow down, just a bit. I showed him, still quite passively, some options to being a man solely based on his career. I pointed out, and suggested he pursue old friends, then to make new friends. Lightly, but surely, as all men who succeed are busy men. As with such things as salt, it only takes a bit, only enough. Just... to add more people to his list, who he could call when need or want was there, visit on a rare day off, or when traveling nearby, or even to find a reason to take a little time doing something other than the business of business as that was or could be availed. I helped him rediscover his wife, make attempts to reach out to his, now grown, children. I even talked him into the pew, if different from mine, from time to time... here or there, wherever he was.
I watched him grow up before my eyes. Perhaps he was always on the path, perhaps he just needed a little nudge, but maybe he would never have found his way. Who can ever know such things. As it was, my time was coming up. I knew it was time. For the first time in this man's life as an adult, at my funeral, I saw him cry. He kept it minimal, few could have seen, but ghosts see all, and truly, if that state is just a phase as was mine. I knew I had done one good thing in my life. I even had some wonder if I wouldn't, as time is different on the other side, and there are things that must be done, perhaps seem him in heaven as I arrived. He, unlike myself, had decided to change his life for the better but hadn't needed to be crippled to do so. Gladly, he was not the only man at my funeral whose life I had helped to reform. It was a fine funeral, even if the casket was a bit tight for my ego.
It was a wonderful dream.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Good morning.
.
From what I hear, the stock markets too. So long as they keep burning the value of the dollar, as per worldly fiscal pursuits, the markets will keep *increasing in value. I am glad my ups and downs aren't based on corporatist government mismanagement of the dollar. All I'm saying there.
Even with a quicker cool down, an easier shorter day out, and everything else working in my favor, I could not get to bed until a bit after midnight. I think I was tired enough a bit earlier. I simply didn't have the energy to get up and go to bed. Some of you know exactly what I am talking about. I set the alarm for 10:00, hoping to wake earlier. Right after 6:00 I woke and comfortably. It's a very nice morning. No real aches or pains, but that doesn't mean much. Some mornings I feel pain right away. Sometimes then it fades as I wake, or not. Some days I can't feel pain until I am awake. I never know which it will be. Two days to town in a row makes me suspect I will suffer mild pains today, muscles, relating to walking a couple of miles. You didn't think I just road an electric cart, did you? And, when on my own, I move. It will be simple, and mild, pain, and last for a few days. The better type of pain, as I have suggested. The rust chipping pain I enjoy.
A pot of coffee brews, medicine is looking me in the eye, the notion that I need to order insulin is in my mind, and a few tasks haunt me into wakefulness. All good things. It is turning into the perfect sort of day. If I can get to some of those things, or all of the few that taunt, which I might, it would become a perfect simple, humble, rest type day.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I had a terribly wonderful dream. In it I had lived a rushed life. As a military officer, who had jumped ranks and then risen well into mid-level command, I had become accustomed to being given generic orders, managing and arranging how those were done, and who would do them, and moving on, but very successfully. For the first twenty years of my career, in the dream, I had been as hard-driven, and hard-bitten, as a ten penny nail. I commanded no more or less than I demanded from myself... exceptional, nearly reckless, dedication. Then, as in real life, I became stricken. I don't know what the illness was, but the effects were similar if a little less restrictive compared to real life. Then, as in real life, I had to make choices, surrender my hopes and plans for, probably, a jump to upper, civilian, or diplomatic command. I wasn't ready for it, no one is, not even those who naturally decline. And yet, there it was.
I had two choices, really. I could face the reality, or hide from it, or worse. It was a serious struggle, especially while still trying to control the steering wheel of life while falling asleep at that wheel. After a time, I came to understand, to relent. A passenger, rather than driver, in life, it would have to be. But more, I came to appreciate the gift. Much more quickly, and surely, than I have in real life. Able, in the dream though, to carry on more of a life, though I am not sure, from the dream and my real life, which would actually be more difficult. One more teasing, offering some possibilities. The other a complete end to most physical function. In either case, I did come to enjoy, be a part of the world in a patriarchal, but simpler, fashion.
Through time I came to associate with the younger men, the up-and-comers who would replace my generation. I retained access through my reputation and past success. I became someone these types would seek out, for wisdom, for advice both career and personal, as a mentor, teacher, even rough philosopher. As with real life, I found God, who became my anchor. But I didn't completely ignore the mundane, the secular, the political, the chain of command structure to which I had been a party. As such, I looked for men who were like what I had been, specifically. I hoped to guide them, even with their health, into a better place.
In the case in question, the younger, but middle-aged, man I had targeted was more in the political and bureaucratic, rather than military circles. He rarely had time for friends, such as myself. Worse, he had little time for the only human friend he should have time to tend... himself. I began working with him quite simply. Just as a friend who had time when he could spare it and wanted a moment of company. I slowly bridled him with mild demands of time, and effort, but kept that from becoming overwhelming, an annoyance or too great of one. Then the real work began.
Slowly, over time, I brought him to slow down, just a bit. I showed him, still quite passively, some options to being a man solely based on his career. I pointed out, and suggested he pursue old friends, then to make new friends. Lightly, but surely, as all men who succeed are busy men. As with such things as salt, it only takes a bit, only enough. Just... to add more people to his list, who he could call when need or want was there, visit on a rare day off, or when traveling nearby, or even to find a reason to take a little time doing something other than the business of business as that was or could be availed. I helped him rediscover his wife, make attempts to reach out to his, now grown, children. I even talked him into the pew, if different from mine, from time to time... here or there, wherever he was.
I watched him grow up before my eyes. Perhaps he was always on the path, perhaps he just needed a little nudge, but maybe he would never have found his way. Who can ever know such things. As it was, my time was coming up. I knew it was time. For the first time in this man's life as an adult, at my funeral, I saw him cry. He kept it minimal, few could have seen, but ghosts see all, and truly, if that state is just a phase as was mine. I knew I had done one good thing in my life. I even had some wonder if I wouldn't, as time is different on the other side, and there are things that must be done, perhaps seem him in heaven as I arrived. He, unlike myself, had decided to change his life for the better but hadn't needed to be crippled to do so. Gladly, he was not the only man at my funeral whose life I had helped to reform. It was a fine funeral, even if the casket was a bit tight for my ego.
It was a wonderful dream.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Good morning.
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Another trip to town.
.
.
There was one item I wanted to purchase yesterday which I didn't have the time tot buy. As well, after checking the mail, I had a few pieces of business to attend. And, after being absent for a couple of weeks, I was able to get my friend out for a bit, again. Plus, another easy meal. It will eat me up for a few days. All fine and dandy. I have to time to recover. And, with a final tool, the equipment to do some light work. If I can get to it.
Finances are looking good. I had been fearing them. I still have a check to write out this month. I wish he would remind me, but it's all good. Sometimes, when I am down for long jots of time, I lose track of finances. That's always spooky. Then every purchase becomes suspect, every financial consideration becomes scary. While not in perfect shape, I'm in much better shape than I had hoped. Enough that I can relax, breath, and have a meal out once in a while. Just knowing, good or bad, helps with the jitters.
I simply need to cool down and relax for a bit, then get to sleep as early as possible. Last night I was up rather late, 23:00, 0:30, something. Exhausted from the day, and heat, and then having to cool, and come, down from the day, I couldn't catch the time. I tried, it just wasn't happening. I set the alarm for 8:00, I think. I woke a goodly bit earlier. I can't remember the time of waking either. I think I will be able to cool off and sleep earlier tonight, and hopefully wake at a reasonable hour again. Coffee does help.
Something I am going to do over the next several days is to create a day plan. Something that is every day, and some things that are occasional throughout the week. Medicine, brushing teeth, shaving perhaps, things like that, as they are needed. I may put the things that are a must into my e-calendar, or to do app if that seems reasonable. A short term thing, it is hoped, until certain things become regular. Though, without a bit of help, I am not sure that is possible. I stumble for reasons, or seeming no reason, on my own. Still, it's a part of the plan. The way will have to be worked out. But the plan can be created, and attempted, on it's own, and first.
A few more anicin with medicine tonight. Two days of getting to and working through town, shops, heat, and driving are sort of getting to me. Good night.
.
There was one item I wanted to purchase yesterday which I didn't have the time tot buy. As well, after checking the mail, I had a few pieces of business to attend. And, after being absent for a couple of weeks, I was able to get my friend out for a bit, again. Plus, another easy meal. It will eat me up for a few days. All fine and dandy. I have to time to recover. And, with a final tool, the equipment to do some light work. If I can get to it.
Finances are looking good. I had been fearing them. I still have a check to write out this month. I wish he would remind me, but it's all good. Sometimes, when I am down for long jots of time, I lose track of finances. That's always spooky. Then every purchase becomes suspect, every financial consideration becomes scary. While not in perfect shape, I'm in much better shape than I had hoped. Enough that I can relax, breath, and have a meal out once in a while. Just knowing, good or bad, helps with the jitters.
I simply need to cool down and relax for a bit, then get to sleep as early as possible. Last night I was up rather late, 23:00, 0:30, something. Exhausted from the day, and heat, and then having to cool, and come, down from the day, I couldn't catch the time. I tried, it just wasn't happening. I set the alarm for 8:00, I think. I woke a goodly bit earlier. I can't remember the time of waking either. I think I will be able to cool off and sleep earlier tonight, and hopefully wake at a reasonable hour again. Coffee does help.
Something I am going to do over the next several days is to create a day plan. Something that is every day, and some things that are occasional throughout the week. Medicine, brushing teeth, shaving perhaps, things like that, as they are needed. I may put the things that are a must into my e-calendar, or to do app if that seems reasonable. A short term thing, it is hoped, until certain things become regular. Though, without a bit of help, I am not sure that is possible. I stumble for reasons, or seeming no reason, on my own. Still, it's a part of the plan. The way will have to be worked out. But the plan can be created, and attempted, on it's own, and first.
A few more anicin with medicine tonight. Two days of getting to and working through town, shops, heat, and driving are sort of getting to me. Good night.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)