.
.
As I go through mental conniptions regarding women, glide through an early to bed but late wake, and make plans for various projects, the day goes on a bit without me. Medicine has started to do it's own thing, just as the day and myself do our own things. For moments they merge, then part. All good.
My mind was focused on women, a wife really, and why I would contemplate such a relationship given that I have freed myself of want and need. Oh, truly, I have. Ah, but the clearing wasn't for it's own purposes. The cleaning was to prepare myself for a woman, for my part. Yes, there is that. A decade, and change, of penance. Not just to cleanse the body, mind, possibly soul or spirit to a degree. But also to review and consider what it means to be with a woman. What women mean, or should mean, in the relationship. What my duties and responsibilities are. Heavy things, for one such as myself, but having been brought into God's light. A new way, if the old way cannot be completely ignored. Recreating the circuit board, laying new connections and solder over the old. No new board is possible in this life.
I realize that I am hungry. Plainly, and simply, of course. I have always loved the mechanics of the feminine. Soft skin, soft high pitched voice, big eyes, and of course more on into adult natures. No toy, as I had it devised, but no duty, this aspect. Pure pleasure when the hunger exists, if pure pain when hunger is sated and the need for speed in life returns. To find a middle ground for the majority of the time? Aye. Sought and found. My hunger grows, as I suspect, does my maturity. Maturity, a beginning of wisdom. A chance at more, if through less. A duty, until it becomes a blessed pleasure. Celibacy taught me to this point, but can take me no further.
And yet more. For the middling times, when hunger is not in bloom and despise is not waxing, there is a new hunger I have seen. The hunger for simple companionship of a mixed nature. A friend, of sorts, or more confidant, teacher, student, coworker in the effort of life, and partner in mutual, even at times exclusive, goals. Someone to lift, and be lifted through. Sister, mother, daughter, wife, woman. The whole package. In return, all of me, as it is desired or needed, as well. So much and so little. How many angels, indeed, can dance on the head of a pin? Magical questions with so very simple mundane answers. There is more, but that is enough. Questions, answers, poems, and prose, I see through these, now, why. And I see the fullness of my newfound, or refound, hunger. And I approve, if yet with some trepidation.
As I said, I woke late in spite of going to bed early. Some odd thing happened, and I pushed through yesterday on little sleep. A price had to be paid. I cannot run deficits as I did in my youth, not without... hmm... help. I have promised to help a friend today, and so I will. A call to remind. I simply said I would help today, if later most likely. I need to find my tools and supplies, get them in order, and get to town shortly. An hour or two, I suspect. It is good to be useful, is all. To decrease the burden of worry on the brow of another is a gift I have received a thousand times over, and so have some great yearning to offer myself. Shown, they say, before one can see. But when seen, such cannot be ignored. Even the blind can be taught to see. This I know.
Oh, just so you know... While women get some things I post right away, where men cannot. Some things are written only of the tongue of men. There is some crossover, if that is limited. My recent post, "The beast and the... not harlot" was written in man-tongue. I sincerely doubt if women will understand that, not... maidens, to be sure. Wives, mothers more, understand this as few women can. Having a husband and a son from him, allows her insights a young woman cannot yet know. Even so, that is limited. For example, in the song Moth, all but the woman putting pins in the moth is from my perspective. They are not mixed examples of my sins against women or the world, though some debate some things from ignorance even then. Difficult to explain without saying too much. But, no, little ones, I have never been abusive to women. If anything, when women and alcohol mix, I become an even softer touch if not an outright fool. I learned long ago that women will put up with much, but not so much put up with a fool. A complete fool anyway. Drink only loosens, it does not unbind me as it does with some. Anyway, just... understand... for the most part, that was written, and played, from the perspective of a man. You aren't probably going to understand. Yes, boys and girls are different, men and woman far more so. If some of us can see into both worlds just a bit more clearly. So that not even all of it is purely from a man's perspective. For example, I'm Not an Angel is about both sides of the conundrum, and understanding that while obviously am not an angel, neither will she be one. Careful in there, the mind of Doom is a thing to... ponder, not know. Scoot.
Well... I need to get going on coffee. I had a ribeye for breakfast. I thought about eggs, too, but this was a thick cut. While in the store, I looked in the sale aisle and found this and others. Less than $5 a pound, I think. Enough for today. I need to digest it, though. And wake a bit... a lot... more. An hour doing those things, then I will get my kit together. Later.
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Monday, December 1, 2014
Way late, way early.
.
.
To sleep, then awake, that is. Not quite 6:00 and I woke without a problem. I am not quite sure if this is a readjustment, if that is doubtful. I'll know as the day rolls on, more surely tomorrow morning, and definitely the morning after. Some very high percentage of the times, when I roll back sleep by many hours, it means my days and nights are about to begin tumbling. Once in a great while I catch and maintain the new schedule. This time is a little different. The causes aren't from natural distortions, and aren't finding me foggy and cranky, awake merely because I can't sleep. Still, that may not matter. I simply won't know until a bit of time passes and I see future results. Probability is not on the good side is all.
I let the girls sleep with me. Only Sam came in until 3:00 or 4:00, when Sassy decided, or realized, the option was open. Have you ever slept with children? While sometimes, as a parent, that is wonderful. It is also, at times, a bit cloying. You can't just roll. You can't just anything. You have to make sure the little one(s) are in agreement to movement. So you don't sleep really deeply. It was good enough, and I often sleep that way. One eye open they say, if that truly is just a metaphor. At least I hope no one actually sleeps with one eye open, especially a cyclopes! When I am doing well, I usually sleep light. Now, when I hear a bump in the night, mind you, I ignore. When I hear two, I listen a bit more closely, three or more? I just bring my pistol right to bed with me. Hey, I used to be that bump in the night. Don't go looking. If you are the target, it will find you. If not, it's not worth checking. As a family man that changes. As a bachelor, not so much. Not fear, for me, just don't want to mess up sleep. Unless I'm in the mood or can't sleep anyway. Then it's go time. Ha!
I know I dreamed, a number of times. I don't remember anything. Memory dissipated before I became conscious enough to know. There were just little traces of some things. Sometimes those come to me later, but as emotional responses. As with trying to figure out the shapes of things from shadows, and the location of the casters of those, it's never quite clear what it is all about. Sometimes, usually, the dreams just end up just going away. I suppose they turn into sludge for the bilge, or are refined into fuel for future dreams. Who can know about such things. Pet theories abound, however. None of which have been shared here. Too early for theories anyway.
I did get the trash and recycling out last night. I also called my friend. He said it was, and had been, snowing all day there. What? When dinner was brought, no snow was seen. Still, I checked. Gah! He was right. The forecasts I had seen were all wrong. They said showers for the valleys. No real mistake, only they didn't know when the precip would be coming through. Earlier in the day it would have been rain. It all melted off the drive though, or was off last night. And it seemed to stop between the call and when I finally got the bins to the curb. Being away from the mountains, even just by the twenty miles, makes it so we often don't get the kind of snow he will get. Not always anyway.
Oh, because of the snow, he thinks shooting is off today. Still, I want to get groceries, and get out. He thinks that sounds like a plan. He is getting cabin fever. Just happened. Probably seeing the first real snow set off something. A bit of browsing, then grocery shopping, and lunch, I suspect. I did look, a bit, for how to run my chronograph. I really don't want to read instructions. I didn't find much useful, I might look around this morning. But I did learn that the overcast actually is when the chronograph works best. So there is that. I am almost sure the weather will pick up for a day of shooting, or two, yet this week. But the forecasters sure didn't see the snow. I won't be holding my breath, just hoping.
Well... on to something. Good morning, and later.
.
To sleep, then awake, that is. Not quite 6:00 and I woke without a problem. I am not quite sure if this is a readjustment, if that is doubtful. I'll know as the day rolls on, more surely tomorrow morning, and definitely the morning after. Some very high percentage of the times, when I roll back sleep by many hours, it means my days and nights are about to begin tumbling. Once in a great while I catch and maintain the new schedule. This time is a little different. The causes aren't from natural distortions, and aren't finding me foggy and cranky, awake merely because I can't sleep. Still, that may not matter. I simply won't know until a bit of time passes and I see future results. Probability is not on the good side is all.
I let the girls sleep with me. Only Sam came in until 3:00 or 4:00, when Sassy decided, or realized, the option was open. Have you ever slept with children? While sometimes, as a parent, that is wonderful. It is also, at times, a bit cloying. You can't just roll. You can't just anything. You have to make sure the little one(s) are in agreement to movement. So you don't sleep really deeply. It was good enough, and I often sleep that way. One eye open they say, if that truly is just a metaphor. At least I hope no one actually sleeps with one eye open, especially a cyclopes! When I am doing well, I usually sleep light. Now, when I hear a bump in the night, mind you, I ignore. When I hear two, I listen a bit more closely, three or more? I just bring my pistol right to bed with me. Hey, I used to be that bump in the night. Don't go looking. If you are the target, it will find you. If not, it's not worth checking. As a family man that changes. As a bachelor, not so much. Not fear, for me, just don't want to mess up sleep. Unless I'm in the mood or can't sleep anyway. Then it's go time. Ha!
I know I dreamed, a number of times. I don't remember anything. Memory dissipated before I became conscious enough to know. There were just little traces of some things. Sometimes those come to me later, but as emotional responses. As with trying to figure out the shapes of things from shadows, and the location of the casters of those, it's never quite clear what it is all about. Sometimes, usually, the dreams just end up just going away. I suppose they turn into sludge for the bilge, or are refined into fuel for future dreams. Who can know about such things. Pet theories abound, however. None of which have been shared here. Too early for theories anyway.
I did get the trash and recycling out last night. I also called my friend. He said it was, and had been, snowing all day there. What? When dinner was brought, no snow was seen. Still, I checked. Gah! He was right. The forecasts I had seen were all wrong. They said showers for the valleys. No real mistake, only they didn't know when the precip would be coming through. Earlier in the day it would have been rain. It all melted off the drive though, or was off last night. And it seemed to stop between the call and when I finally got the bins to the curb. Being away from the mountains, even just by the twenty miles, makes it so we often don't get the kind of snow he will get. Not always anyway.
Oh, because of the snow, he thinks shooting is off today. Still, I want to get groceries, and get out. He thinks that sounds like a plan. He is getting cabin fever. Just happened. Probably seeing the first real snow set off something. A bit of browsing, then grocery shopping, and lunch, I suspect. I did look, a bit, for how to run my chronograph. I really don't want to read instructions. I didn't find much useful, I might look around this morning. But I did learn that the overcast actually is when the chronograph works best. So there is that. I am almost sure the weather will pick up for a day of shooting, or two, yet this week. But the forecasters sure didn't see the snow. I won't be holding my breath, just hoping.
Well... on to something. Good morning, and later.
Sunday, November 30, 2014
One more razor done.
.
.
Well, done to the level I can do them at this point. Something I learned while doing research is that putting a light coating of mineral oil on the blade, after honing and after shaving, will keep the blade in good condition. I happened to have some, so coated not just the blades I have honed, but all of them. And, after honing this one, I coated it again. A cue-tip, oil, and a light touch. Okay, now, that made sense. It also has taught me how to oil my other tools. That has been on my mind for some time. From wrenches to socket and socket wrenches, on to shovels and such, I have been... bothered by the notion of oiling. While I might not use the same oils on all, or maybe... breaking new ground opens up care for my tools. I am certain the wheel grinder will work to get rust off my bigger tools, but an angle grinder might be necessary for some of it. Then to paint or oil the tools. Yeah, tools can only take care of you if you take care of them.
If I wake well tomorrow, I may get a shower in early, and try shaving again. I am a bit extra jittery, due to my last stab at shaving some years back. There was blood, and wounds. Don't shave with a blade that isn't sharp enough. And, no, the knife you carry, no matter how sharp, is not even designed to be as sharp as a razor needs to be. My problem is that I sent my razors through a sharpening process at the manufacturers, and that was wasted money. Don't do that. I trusted and was repaid with blood and cuts. If you get them sharpened, find a barber who still uses them and ask if he would mind. It will probably be cheaper, and much more sure. Still, as sharp as these are, they still need to be a bit sharper. But at least they don't cut me, they just pull a bit much. It's coming back from long ago I think. I'll get them there. The new supplies should be here within the week. Probably. Amazon seems to have fallen down on delivery this last year, or I have been ordering outliers?
Oh, I best get the trash out, and recycling. I suppose I will know if recycling was this week or not tomorrow afternoon. I will call my friend after this post, to see if he is interested in getting out. Finally, I will figure out my Chrony. It would be good to see how that works, and get it to work if it will. While warm enough, into the 50's, it has been cloudy lately. I have heard that it might not do well in that condition. Still, I would like to try. Then to bed. Earlier tonight, I hope. Good night.
.
Well, done to the level I can do them at this point. Something I learned while doing research is that putting a light coating of mineral oil on the blade, after honing and after shaving, will keep the blade in good condition. I happened to have some, so coated not just the blades I have honed, but all of them. And, after honing this one, I coated it again. A cue-tip, oil, and a light touch. Okay, now, that made sense. It also has taught me how to oil my other tools. That has been on my mind for some time. From wrenches to socket and socket wrenches, on to shovels and such, I have been... bothered by the notion of oiling. While I might not use the same oils on all, or maybe... breaking new ground opens up care for my tools. I am certain the wheel grinder will work to get rust off my bigger tools, but an angle grinder might be necessary for some of it. Then to paint or oil the tools. Yeah, tools can only take care of you if you take care of them.
If I wake well tomorrow, I may get a shower in early, and try shaving again. I am a bit extra jittery, due to my last stab at shaving some years back. There was blood, and wounds. Don't shave with a blade that isn't sharp enough. And, no, the knife you carry, no matter how sharp, is not even designed to be as sharp as a razor needs to be. My problem is that I sent my razors through a sharpening process at the manufacturers, and that was wasted money. Don't do that. I trusted and was repaid with blood and cuts. If you get them sharpened, find a barber who still uses them and ask if he would mind. It will probably be cheaper, and much more sure. Still, as sharp as these are, they still need to be a bit sharper. But at least they don't cut me, they just pull a bit much. It's coming back from long ago I think. I'll get them there. The new supplies should be here within the week. Probably. Amazon seems to have fallen down on delivery this last year, or I have been ordering outliers?
Oh, I best get the trash out, and recycling. I suppose I will know if recycling was this week or not tomorrow afternoon. I will call my friend after this post, to see if he is interested in getting out. Finally, I will figure out my Chrony. It would be good to see how that works, and get it to work if it will. While warm enough, into the 50's, it has been cloudy lately. I have heard that it might not do well in that condition. Still, I would like to try. Then to bed. Earlier tonight, I hope. Good night.
Resting even today.
.
.
I took a shower right after posting. It does a body good. I thought about trying a shave, with my whiskers having been primed by the shower. It just seemed like too much work right then and there. Some days it is. Today was among them. I did look around the kitchen on my way out. No need to sweep, but I am keeping an eye on it. A clean home and a shower can make a man feel wealthy. Wealth isn't what many think. It's not money, it's not even gold or health. Wealth is the luxury of living in an ordered world. Those other things can be spent to create wealth, or this form of it. Yet many sit on a pile of gold, in squalor. Pigs in a sty, I suggest. Not always can I be wealthy, but today it is so. I enjoyed it, and will maintain it as well as I am able.
Today is another day of rest. It is simply needed. Or more, it isn't much of a choice. Rest, and a day for it, as I have mentioned, is a gift. What wears me out is, perhaps, not what will wear you out. To some degree, perspective plays a part. So be it. I have worn myself well and truly these last few weeks. Further, I am hoping to dig in again this coming week. I would like to finish a few spots here in the house, then the garage, and get out shooting, hopefully twice this coming week. Winter may well settle in before long. Might as well take this good warm weather and use it while I can. Then again, I am looking forward to snow as well. Snowshoeing is on the menu. Hmm, I should get my gear and proper attire sorted. This time I am not going to fuss. If I have it, it is ready enough, and the show is there... once I get the snow removed from the drive, it will be time for some backyard practice. Once I am satisfied with that, I will begin getting out. I suppose I should investigate trails, or common places, now. You have to be a bit aware before going. Some areas are avalanche prone. Best to know the area, and research up-to-date conditions.
I may call my friend, actually, right after this post, and see whether tomorrow or the day after might be a good time to get out. I need to do some minor shopping as well. Milk and cream, though a few items for various dishes would be nice. Quiche and a few other egg dishes are on my mind. Cheese, maybe a few vegetables if they look good, spices and herbs, and such. He may need to do some minor shopping too. And we can always stop in to the local sporting good stores, just to... look and perhaps buy a few items of need or want. Hmm... I may set up my Chrony tonight, as well, and take that with. I'll also want to review the instructions, or more YouTube guides. Whatever happened to clear, concise, instructions. No, I haven't looked, though I have heard the instruction booklet is more pain than insightful.
I may yet tonight begin honing another blade. It would be good to have two razors ready, save for stropping. At this point, until the rest of the sharpening gear arrives, none of my blades are truly ready. Close enough, one of them, for a rather rough shave. It just needs a bit more honing than what I have on hand will do. Yes, I am a noob. But not the kind one my presuppose. I know much that I couldn't, shouldn't, and technically don't, know. I just... don't know it until I do. I know these blades need more work. Skill at shaving, which is one thing I lack, will allow for more tolerance with a blade. As I said, that is one thing I lack. I may even see if a local barber would sharpen one of my other blades, so I have a professional comparison. Three blades at the ready would be even better. As well, I may see if he offers any face sweetwater, for after shave. Rosewater, lemon or lime, and a few others come to mind. Though sniffing through the options can be fun, and lead to a surprise or three. If I am going to bother to shave this way I might as well flaunt it a bit, nyet?
Oh, right, on to... a bit more resting. I think I am going to be back into days, after this rest. The brief slight twist of my day schedule was simply sheer exhaustion. As I said, I could have awaken at 7:00 or so this morning. It was merely that sleep was so perfect, and the opportunity was there so I took it. Later.
.
I took a shower right after posting. It does a body good. I thought about trying a shave, with my whiskers having been primed by the shower. It just seemed like too much work right then and there. Some days it is. Today was among them. I did look around the kitchen on my way out. No need to sweep, but I am keeping an eye on it. A clean home and a shower can make a man feel wealthy. Wealth isn't what many think. It's not money, it's not even gold or health. Wealth is the luxury of living in an ordered world. Those other things can be spent to create wealth, or this form of it. Yet many sit on a pile of gold, in squalor. Pigs in a sty, I suggest. Not always can I be wealthy, but today it is so. I enjoyed it, and will maintain it as well as I am able.
Today is another day of rest. It is simply needed. Or more, it isn't much of a choice. Rest, and a day for it, as I have mentioned, is a gift. What wears me out is, perhaps, not what will wear you out. To some degree, perspective plays a part. So be it. I have worn myself well and truly these last few weeks. Further, I am hoping to dig in again this coming week. I would like to finish a few spots here in the house, then the garage, and get out shooting, hopefully twice this coming week. Winter may well settle in before long. Might as well take this good warm weather and use it while I can. Then again, I am looking forward to snow as well. Snowshoeing is on the menu. Hmm, I should get my gear and proper attire sorted. This time I am not going to fuss. If I have it, it is ready enough, and the show is there... once I get the snow removed from the drive, it will be time for some backyard practice. Once I am satisfied with that, I will begin getting out. I suppose I should investigate trails, or common places, now. You have to be a bit aware before going. Some areas are avalanche prone. Best to know the area, and research up-to-date conditions.
I may call my friend, actually, right after this post, and see whether tomorrow or the day after might be a good time to get out. I need to do some minor shopping as well. Milk and cream, though a few items for various dishes would be nice. Quiche and a few other egg dishes are on my mind. Cheese, maybe a few vegetables if they look good, spices and herbs, and such. He may need to do some minor shopping too. And we can always stop in to the local sporting good stores, just to... look and perhaps buy a few items of need or want. Hmm... I may set up my Chrony tonight, as well, and take that with. I'll also want to review the instructions, or more YouTube guides. Whatever happened to clear, concise, instructions. No, I haven't looked, though I have heard the instruction booklet is more pain than insightful.
I may yet tonight begin honing another blade. It would be good to have two razors ready, save for stropping. At this point, until the rest of the sharpening gear arrives, none of my blades are truly ready. Close enough, one of them, for a rather rough shave. It just needs a bit more honing than what I have on hand will do. Yes, I am a noob. But not the kind one my presuppose. I know much that I couldn't, shouldn't, and technically don't, know. I just... don't know it until I do. I know these blades need more work. Skill at shaving, which is one thing I lack, will allow for more tolerance with a blade. As I said, that is one thing I lack. I may even see if a local barber would sharpen one of my other blades, so I have a professional comparison. Three blades at the ready would be even better. As well, I may see if he offers any face sweetwater, for after shave. Rosewater, lemon or lime, and a few others come to mind. Though sniffing through the options can be fun, and lead to a surprise or three. If I am going to bother to shave this way I might as well flaunt it a bit, nyet?
Oh, right, on to... a bit more resting. I think I am going to be back into days, after this rest. The brief slight twist of my day schedule was simply sheer exhaustion. As I said, I could have awaken at 7:00 or so this morning. It was merely that sleep was so perfect, and the opportunity was there so I took it. Later.
Sleep was so very good.
.
.
I don't know why. I did a bit yesterday, and I think I am about recovered from the great fall push of '14. *grins* Perhaps starting up some of the medicine has helped. I know I have dropped between twenty and forty pounds of water weight since starting back up some of it. *splash* I felt like a little boy after drinking two sodas. Two sodas! Yes. I remind, when I was preteen, my body had grown much faster than my internals, so drinking just what was needed was difficult for my body to regulate, extra was tough. I have been in the bathroom constantly the last few days. Odd though, sometimes my legs and feet would fill, sometimes they wouldn't, over the two weeks of no medicine. Anyway, that has been tended. Now to start on some of the rest of it. Half doses, and just at night for a week, or two, then into the days. That's as much as I am going to take from now on. That stuff was beating me up far too bad, at least this summer.
I dreamed last night. Puzzle solving as a child. I remember it, now, like never before. I saw, and solved, puzzles that no one else saw, or understood. This infuriated folk. I couldn't explain it to them. Sometimes I couldn't relate to people, sometimes I couldn't get them to understand. They wanted me to "do something", but I was busy contemplating the problems before me. Yes, great frustration. I was solving natural problems around me and they just wanted me to rake, or do number charts, or read some rubbish or other that had already been solved and dismissed as what it was. I remembered one of the problems I had solved. I had to ignore all around me to do it, and was punished by the world for it. I didn't care. Eventually I came around, a bit, to add more application to life, that the world wants, but never gave up my... problem solving. I must have been pseudo-autistic, or nearing idiot-savant perhaps. It was when I was quite young, up to the age of seven I would guess. As I said, I didn't talk until I was four, but then spoke as an adult. I didn't like doing things unless I could do them whole and correct. Speaking was just one of those things. The world doesn't like that. My mother, actually, was as patient as was possible, the rest of the world not so much.
The dream wasn't terrible. I just realized some things through it. Things I have wondered, but wasn't sure until seen through this lens. I'm still not completely sure, I don't have the diagnostic knowledge, only informal information. Then again, professionals often are lousy at diagnosis, let alone defining... conditions. I saw clearly through the eyes of my child mind, but with what I know. It was as I roughly remembered, but in detail that could not be simply remembered, on into the function. They called it stubborn, or willful, they didn't realize that it was simply complete engagement with things and ideas they could not, or saw no reason, to engage. As I said, I remember contemplating infinity at five or so, and onward. My contemplations have not ended. It still frustrates others, even the realist in myself, at times. I have learned, mostly, how to put such notions on the back burner and function otherwise more consciously... mostly.
But the sleep! Oh, wondrous! I woke several times. I think I needed to use the restroom, at least once. Until my body fluid is drained fully, I will do that. Then I'll be back to sleeping full nights. But that doesn't seem to have been a problem. I still slept quite well, went back to sleep easily. I woke a few times this morning. I could have waken at 7:00 or 8:00, but decided to just enjoy sleep. It was absolutely delicious. I thought about letting the girls in, to help wake me, but decided against. Just one day of not fighting to wake up, especially when sleep was so very fine. This is the type of sleep one fantasizes about, or I do. Not as uncommon, for me, as it used to be. But still a bit of a rare treat.
Today? I simply don't know. Trash, and maybe recycling out, if it's a day for both. Cat litter change. I am going to simply do a complete change of that, one at a time, washing the litter pans as I go. Perhaps breakfast first. A couple of eggs and sausage. Nothing fancy, or heavy. I am beginning to make fairly small, simple, meals. Trying to do that more often. Breakfast is a focal point, and dinner though today is a meal day. Even two squares a day is good. If I could upgrade to three... I don't know. That might be too much food for my body to digest. Some days, digesting one meal is a bit much. Some things people who are healthy don't understand is how much work their body has to do to digest food, process fluids, and such. My body can't always do that much. It just sits. Bleh.
Well... on to my day. Later.
.
I don't know why. I did a bit yesterday, and I think I am about recovered from the great fall push of '14. *grins* Perhaps starting up some of the medicine has helped. I know I have dropped between twenty and forty pounds of water weight since starting back up some of it. *splash* I felt like a little boy after drinking two sodas. Two sodas! Yes. I remind, when I was preteen, my body had grown much faster than my internals, so drinking just what was needed was difficult for my body to regulate, extra was tough. I have been in the bathroom constantly the last few days. Odd though, sometimes my legs and feet would fill, sometimes they wouldn't, over the two weeks of no medicine. Anyway, that has been tended. Now to start on some of the rest of it. Half doses, and just at night for a week, or two, then into the days. That's as much as I am going to take from now on. That stuff was beating me up far too bad, at least this summer.
I dreamed last night. Puzzle solving as a child. I remember it, now, like never before. I saw, and solved, puzzles that no one else saw, or understood. This infuriated folk. I couldn't explain it to them. Sometimes I couldn't relate to people, sometimes I couldn't get them to understand. They wanted me to "do something", but I was busy contemplating the problems before me. Yes, great frustration. I was solving natural problems around me and they just wanted me to rake, or do number charts, or read some rubbish or other that had already been solved and dismissed as what it was. I remembered one of the problems I had solved. I had to ignore all around me to do it, and was punished by the world for it. I didn't care. Eventually I came around, a bit, to add more application to life, that the world wants, but never gave up my... problem solving. I must have been pseudo-autistic, or nearing idiot-savant perhaps. It was when I was quite young, up to the age of seven I would guess. As I said, I didn't talk until I was four, but then spoke as an adult. I didn't like doing things unless I could do them whole and correct. Speaking was just one of those things. The world doesn't like that. My mother, actually, was as patient as was possible, the rest of the world not so much.
The dream wasn't terrible. I just realized some things through it. Things I have wondered, but wasn't sure until seen through this lens. I'm still not completely sure, I don't have the diagnostic knowledge, only informal information. Then again, professionals often are lousy at diagnosis, let alone defining... conditions. I saw clearly through the eyes of my child mind, but with what I know. It was as I roughly remembered, but in detail that could not be simply remembered, on into the function. They called it stubborn, or willful, they didn't realize that it was simply complete engagement with things and ideas they could not, or saw no reason, to engage. As I said, I remember contemplating infinity at five or so, and onward. My contemplations have not ended. It still frustrates others, even the realist in myself, at times. I have learned, mostly, how to put such notions on the back burner and function otherwise more consciously... mostly.
But the sleep! Oh, wondrous! I woke several times. I think I needed to use the restroom, at least once. Until my body fluid is drained fully, I will do that. Then I'll be back to sleeping full nights. But that doesn't seem to have been a problem. I still slept quite well, went back to sleep easily. I woke a few times this morning. I could have waken at 7:00 or 8:00, but decided to just enjoy sleep. It was absolutely delicious. I thought about letting the girls in, to help wake me, but decided against. Just one day of not fighting to wake up, especially when sleep was so very fine. This is the type of sleep one fantasizes about, or I do. Not as uncommon, for me, as it used to be. But still a bit of a rare treat.
Today? I simply don't know. Trash, and maybe recycling out, if it's a day for both. Cat litter change. I am going to simply do a complete change of that, one at a time, washing the litter pans as I go. Perhaps breakfast first. A couple of eggs and sausage. Nothing fancy, or heavy. I am beginning to make fairly small, simple, meals. Trying to do that more often. Breakfast is a focal point, and dinner though today is a meal day. Even two squares a day is good. If I could upgrade to three... I don't know. That might be too much food for my body to digest. Some days, digesting one meal is a bit much. Some things people who are healthy don't understand is how much work their body has to do to digest food, process fluids, and such. My body can't always do that much. It just sits. Bleh.
Well... on to my day. Later.
Saturday, November 29, 2014
Sometimes I wonder why I do things.
.
.
Shaving with a straight razor, but more choosing to hone it myself. Why? In an off moment, the answer won't pop. A little time, and I realize that a straight razor, more so if you can hone it yourself, and shave with it of course, can save a large amount of money over it's lifetime. I suppose I could just go with a beard. But that doesn't work all of the time. I don't know if I believe that it offers a closer shave. The jury is out on that until I see for myself. I was able to get very close shaves with disposable head razors. And while that might be a plus, should I find a woman, for myself it doesn't matter much. Beside the savings, if this every pans out, there is the whole idea of it too. It is a form of self-sufficiency, an act that is manly... brave... if more for my own thinking. And it is a skill. With four razors, should I learn to shave myself well, I could hire out to shave others. I would never do barbering as a regular thing, but I sure wouldn't mind adding a silver dime to the pot, from time to time. Same with honing tools, and skills. This skill goes beyond just shaving gear. From axes to chisels to planes, sharp tools not only work easily, and more precisely, they might not work at all if dull. A skill that could easily be bartered, or gifted. It's sometimes good to have friends.
I have been researching various material, video and reading, regarding this. Beside having a blade that was too dull, I was running it at too much of an angle, I think. Even so, it is a spooky thing. The video I posted of the man doing tutoring of sorts, indicated that there will be pain. He advised a slow approach for beginners. I have read that having honed well past 8k grit, I think to 12k with my final stone, I should be able to shave easily. And, yet, I balk. I wish shave instructors would be more forthright in what to expect, how long the skills take to actually be functional with the blade, and such. I suppose they don't want to scare men off, and women too. There are some brave lasses who use these on their legs and even underarms. It's sort of like the way married men talk about marriage. Generally they only tell you the good parts, or mildly neg something or other. They don't tell you of the nights they wake up in a cold sweat, realizing they are bound to "her", and maybe children.
I know, I know. But, I also know. *chuckles* Yeah, both are better than the options. Both just take practice, suffering through, giving and learning and all. But marriage, for sure, is a little death. A death to self, selfishness, and even access to it. On both parties part. You have to learn to get along, to surrender to your duties, giving up much. The price is worth it. I know this. I also, as with the razor, know that the price cuts deep. Failure isn't just an option, or a probability, but a certainty. A whole new variety of failures that are not even present to the single man or woman. And yet, as with all failure, it is the only way to grow beyond the child I still am. Years will not erase what only experiences can send me beyond. In that way, both man and woman will learn together regardless of what is different about them otherwise. An equalizer.
You know... I may try to shave the cheeks, as he suggested. And if not too cut, I might hit under the chin. I've been keeping it trim enough that I just have minor whiskers, so it shouldn't be too bad. Yeah... I'll go ahead and see what I can do. The trick is to stop with those. Like some gamblers, who don't know to quit when ahead, I can forge on into new territories and burn out. We'll see. Later. Actually, probably good night.
---------
Well, I wouldn't call it great. But no blood. I'm still pulling as much as cutting. I don't mind pulling, though in time that will have to go. I did the cheeks, the bit under the lip, and 'v' under the neck, the flats under the jawline, and tried some difficult areas, even with razors I am familiar with... the bit the grows from the jaw to around under the ears. Always a tricky place. It's not a close shave. I hope that will come with time, and perhaps the extra sharpening stuff that is on order. No blood! I didn't even need to use the alum bars I purchased. The last time I tried this I cut myself, pretty good, randomly. Alum wasn't enough for those. I had to stop shaving until those healed. Same razor, but it wasn't sharp enough. Perhaps I hadn't found the tutorial at the time, or at least this good of one. Whatever! I am on the way to straight razor shaving.
.
Shaving with a straight razor, but more choosing to hone it myself. Why? In an off moment, the answer won't pop. A little time, and I realize that a straight razor, more so if you can hone it yourself, and shave with it of course, can save a large amount of money over it's lifetime. I suppose I could just go with a beard. But that doesn't work all of the time. I don't know if I believe that it offers a closer shave. The jury is out on that until I see for myself. I was able to get very close shaves with disposable head razors. And while that might be a plus, should I find a woman, for myself it doesn't matter much. Beside the savings, if this every pans out, there is the whole idea of it too. It is a form of self-sufficiency, an act that is manly... brave... if more for my own thinking. And it is a skill. With four razors, should I learn to shave myself well, I could hire out to shave others. I would never do barbering as a regular thing, but I sure wouldn't mind adding a silver dime to the pot, from time to time. Same with honing tools, and skills. This skill goes beyond just shaving gear. From axes to chisels to planes, sharp tools not only work easily, and more precisely, they might not work at all if dull. A skill that could easily be bartered, or gifted. It's sometimes good to have friends.
I have been researching various material, video and reading, regarding this. Beside having a blade that was too dull, I was running it at too much of an angle, I think. Even so, it is a spooky thing. The video I posted of the man doing tutoring of sorts, indicated that there will be pain. He advised a slow approach for beginners. I have read that having honed well past 8k grit, I think to 12k with my final stone, I should be able to shave easily. And, yet, I balk. I wish shave instructors would be more forthright in what to expect, how long the skills take to actually be functional with the blade, and such. I suppose they don't want to scare men off, and women too. There are some brave lasses who use these on their legs and even underarms. It's sort of like the way married men talk about marriage. Generally they only tell you the good parts, or mildly neg something or other. They don't tell you of the nights they wake up in a cold sweat, realizing they are bound to "her", and maybe children.
I know, I know. But, I also know. *chuckles* Yeah, both are better than the options. Both just take practice, suffering through, giving and learning and all. But marriage, for sure, is a little death. A death to self, selfishness, and even access to it. On both parties part. You have to learn to get along, to surrender to your duties, giving up much. The price is worth it. I know this. I also, as with the razor, know that the price cuts deep. Failure isn't just an option, or a probability, but a certainty. A whole new variety of failures that are not even present to the single man or woman. And yet, as with all failure, it is the only way to grow beyond the child I still am. Years will not erase what only experiences can send me beyond. In that way, both man and woman will learn together regardless of what is different about them otherwise. An equalizer.
You know... I may try to shave the cheeks, as he suggested. And if not too cut, I might hit under the chin. I've been keeping it trim enough that I just have minor whiskers, so it shouldn't be too bad. Yeah... I'll go ahead and see what I can do. The trick is to stop with those. Like some gamblers, who don't know to quit when ahead, I can forge on into new territories and burn out. We'll see. Later. Actually, probably good night.
---------
Well, I wouldn't call it great. But no blood. I'm still pulling as much as cutting. I don't mind pulling, though in time that will have to go. I did the cheeks, the bit under the lip, and 'v' under the neck, the flats under the jawline, and tried some difficult areas, even with razors I am familiar with... the bit the grows from the jaw to around under the ears. Always a tricky place. It's not a close shave. I hope that will come with time, and perhaps the extra sharpening stuff that is on order. No blood! I didn't even need to use the alum bars I purchased. The last time I tried this I cut myself, pretty good, randomly. Alum wasn't enough for those. I had to stop shaving until those healed. Same razor, but it wasn't sharp enough. Perhaps I hadn't found the tutorial at the time, or at least this good of one. Whatever! I am on the way to straight razor shaving.
Days are tipping.
.
.
The last few days have seen me waking much later. I wore myself down as far as I could go. The batteries were taken down to the nub and recharge rate is being brutally slow. No worries. I'll do what I can with it, rest as needed, work when I can, and get on with life in the time I have, as available. I enjoyed the work, the rest is part of the price. And, yet, I continue to do small things, now and then. All good, really.
I woke very late today, around 14:00, give or take. I had to let the girls in, to help me wake even then. For their efforts, and patience, I rewarded them with a meal first thing. As winter begins to present, I will feed them twice a day a bit more often. They seem to need it more when temps drop and being stuck in the house begins to work on them. Sam gets cabin fever something awful, especially with Sassy giving her no room. Extra food limits the fighting a bit. Oh, not extra food every day, just a few times a week.
I decided to make ham and eggs this morning. I'm never sure about these products. Eggs I can do, but ham is sort of a new product to me. It's mostly miss, with some hits, on ham. This morning I tried a slightly different method. I slowly heated the pan, adding butter at the second increase in heat, then added the ham and some water, in the cast skillet. I cooked it until my senses told me it was correct. I then added a bit of butter per egg, watched them closely, and near the end added just a bit of water to ease lifting them off the pan. While this didn't turn out picture perfect, the taste is as good as I have ever eaten, and far beyond any previous attempt on my own. I'll need to practice this, to see if I can improve appearances. But the flavor profile was absolutely perfect, spot on, righteous! I will not surrender flavor for looks, mind you. Still, if not so much for me, others seem to eat better when it is "pretty". Oh, and I am terribly finicky. Now, I'll eat pretty harsh foods, if not so much vegetarian so much. I've eaten some terrible cooking I have done. So maybe finicky isn't the word. What I mean is, I know what good and right tasting food should be. Forced to judge, I can tell if something is too bland, too spiced, just right, and for what it was meant to be. My palate is incredibly well trained. I can even judge foods I don't like within their merit, and live off them if needed anyway. This was perfect ham and eggs.
Hmm... today? A shower shortly. I have been keeping up on the place. I like this... clear and clean living. I had hoped to do a bit today, workwise, but I don't think that is possible. I am pretty cooked still. I will look for opportunities, and stay on top of little things. But today looks to be another day of rest, as will tomorrow be, most likely. I burned through a couple of months of energy in a few weeks. I will need some time to recuperate, that's just the way of it.
.
The last few days have seen me waking much later. I wore myself down as far as I could go. The batteries were taken down to the nub and recharge rate is being brutally slow. No worries. I'll do what I can with it, rest as needed, work when I can, and get on with life in the time I have, as available. I enjoyed the work, the rest is part of the price. And, yet, I continue to do small things, now and then. All good, really.
I woke very late today, around 14:00, give or take. I had to let the girls in, to help me wake even then. For their efforts, and patience, I rewarded them with a meal first thing. As winter begins to present, I will feed them twice a day a bit more often. They seem to need it more when temps drop and being stuck in the house begins to work on them. Sam gets cabin fever something awful, especially with Sassy giving her no room. Extra food limits the fighting a bit. Oh, not extra food every day, just a few times a week.
I decided to make ham and eggs this morning. I'm never sure about these products. Eggs I can do, but ham is sort of a new product to me. It's mostly miss, with some hits, on ham. This morning I tried a slightly different method. I slowly heated the pan, adding butter at the second increase in heat, then added the ham and some water, in the cast skillet. I cooked it until my senses told me it was correct. I then added a bit of butter per egg, watched them closely, and near the end added just a bit of water to ease lifting them off the pan. While this didn't turn out picture perfect, the taste is as good as I have ever eaten, and far beyond any previous attempt on my own. I'll need to practice this, to see if I can improve appearances. But the flavor profile was absolutely perfect, spot on, righteous! I will not surrender flavor for looks, mind you. Still, if not so much for me, others seem to eat better when it is "pretty". Oh, and I am terribly finicky. Now, I'll eat pretty harsh foods, if not so much vegetarian so much. I've eaten some terrible cooking I have done. So maybe finicky isn't the word. What I mean is, I know what good and right tasting food should be. Forced to judge, I can tell if something is too bland, too spiced, just right, and for what it was meant to be. My palate is incredibly well trained. I can even judge foods I don't like within their merit, and live off them if needed anyway. This was perfect ham and eggs.
Hmm... today? A shower shortly. I have been keeping up on the place. I like this... clear and clean living. I had hoped to do a bit today, workwise, but I don't think that is possible. I am pretty cooked still. I will look for opportunities, and stay on top of little things. But today looks to be another day of rest, as will tomorrow be, most likely. I burned through a couple of months of energy in a few weeks. I will need some time to recuperate, that's just the way of it.
Friday, November 28, 2014
Maybe soon.
.
.
I've tinkered, made a bite to eat and cleaned up from it, did a few smaller things. I just... I did get the honing goo out, and read the instructions. But they seem... well... stupid. I am going to look online. Perhaps they were written for techies, or nerds, or professionals. I'll see what real users suggest. I actually do like to do things more technically, the first time, usually. In this case, I think they are being weird about it. There are some times where I well and truly balk at fastidiousness. And there are always limits. The book is really good if it is right. Most of them aren't. Who do they hire to... ah... job security. Gotta have enough words written down to "earn" keep. Bleh.
I need to get spice the next time I am in town. I'm out of my favorites. I won't keep forty or fifty spices on hand, but I would like to keep fifteen to twenty, and some fresh flavor items, such as garlic and onion. With the kitchen really clean, I am hoping to do more small, precise, cooking projects. I should clean out the oven too. I'm just not a baker, but I would like to tinker with quiches, souffle, custards, and some other items... The one actual pastry baking I would like to do is puffs. The way to keep on top of it is to cook very small batches, and only cook when I am more able. Well, that is the idea. I do need certain spices, regardless.
I will be trying to hit it a bit earlier tonight, and wake reasonably tomorrow. I guess I needed a day off. Even if I get to town tomorrow, I still would get Sunday off. It sounds like weather will be relatively good for a while. Warm, really, into the 50's for the most part for at least the next week, though with rain on a couple of days bringing cool with it. I am hoping to enjoy as much easy weather as I can before it closes in a bit more traditionally. A couple days out shooting would be very nice. And... just being out without having to bundle. Plus, my friend will enjoy getting out. This is mostly it, once winter closes in, until spring probably.
Can't quite go to bed, so I'll... do a little youtube research on the honing paste, perhaps look for material on a couple of other things, and try to smooth out the way to bed. Good night.
.
I've tinkered, made a bite to eat and cleaned up from it, did a few smaller things. I just... I did get the honing goo out, and read the instructions. But they seem... well... stupid. I am going to look online. Perhaps they were written for techies, or nerds, or professionals. I'll see what real users suggest. I actually do like to do things more technically, the first time, usually. In this case, I think they are being weird about it. There are some times where I well and truly balk at fastidiousness. And there are always limits. The book is really good if it is right. Most of them aren't. Who do they hire to... ah... job security. Gotta have enough words written down to "earn" keep. Bleh.
I need to get spice the next time I am in town. I'm out of my favorites. I won't keep forty or fifty spices on hand, but I would like to keep fifteen to twenty, and some fresh flavor items, such as garlic and onion. With the kitchen really clean, I am hoping to do more small, precise, cooking projects. I should clean out the oven too. I'm just not a baker, but I would like to tinker with quiches, souffle, custards, and some other items... The one actual pastry baking I would like to do is puffs. The way to keep on top of it is to cook very small batches, and only cook when I am more able. Well, that is the idea. I do need certain spices, regardless.
I will be trying to hit it a bit earlier tonight, and wake reasonably tomorrow. I guess I needed a day off. Even if I get to town tomorrow, I still would get Sunday off. It sounds like weather will be relatively good for a while. Warm, really, into the 50's for the most part for at least the next week, though with rain on a couple of days bringing cool with it. I am hoping to enjoy as much easy weather as I can before it closes in a bit more traditionally. A couple days out shooting would be very nice. And... just being out without having to bundle. Plus, my friend will enjoy getting out. This is mostly it, once winter closes in, until spring probably.
Can't quite go to bed, so I'll... do a little youtube research on the honing paste, perhaps look for material on a couple of other things, and try to smooth out the way to bed. Good night.
Yes, yes.
.
.
I did find the stuff, and several types of all of it, that I need. I haven't gotten to much today, other than finding the materials. I might hone with the super grade paste tonight. But I won't try to shave. I want to be in good mental order. I think it would work out just as well, either way. It's just a sense that... I like to have full faculties when dealing with sharps. Too tired. I've pushed for the last few weeks. I need a little down time. But... I can get it all ready.
Oh, and I am going to try to keep up on things. After making supper tonight, I swept around the kitchen. I may do a bit of vacuuming too. And sweep and mop the bathroom. It is pretty clean in there, but I don't think that was done, and want to do it. The place is clear almost everywhere, so I have an easy time getting to things. And I don't have to be at all perfectly coscient for cleaning. Tomorrow, I will probably get to town and take my friend shooting, do a little shopping, then, perhaps, wet vac the living room. If I am too tired after town, I'll do that Monday.
How have I been able to be more active the last few weeks? I quite my meds, for a bit. A vacation. I have started up the water pill and insulin, and will start up, on half dose, just in the evening, of the main pill, losartin, and vitamins. I will increase the dose of the main pill until I hit a wall. My guess is I will, at most, be taking half a dose of that, perhaps a quarter. It's simply too strong. I probably shouldn't have stopped all of it, but I was at the point where I couldn't think straight enough. So... *snip*
Hmm... on to honing, then a cup of coffee, and then... something else. Later.
.
I did find the stuff, and several types of all of it, that I need. I haven't gotten to much today, other than finding the materials. I might hone with the super grade paste tonight. But I won't try to shave. I want to be in good mental order. I think it would work out just as well, either way. It's just a sense that... I like to have full faculties when dealing with sharps. Too tired. I've pushed for the last few weeks. I need a little down time. But... I can get it all ready.
Oh, and I am going to try to keep up on things. After making supper tonight, I swept around the kitchen. I may do a bit of vacuuming too. And sweep and mop the bathroom. It is pretty clean in there, but I don't think that was done, and want to do it. The place is clear almost everywhere, so I have an easy time getting to things. And I don't have to be at all perfectly coscient for cleaning. Tomorrow, I will probably get to town and take my friend shooting, do a little shopping, then, perhaps, wet vac the living room. If I am too tired after town, I'll do that Monday.
How have I been able to be more active the last few weeks? I quite my meds, for a bit. A vacation. I have started up the water pill and insulin, and will start up, on half dose, just in the evening, of the main pill, losartin, and vitamins. I will increase the dose of the main pill until I hit a wall. My guess is I will, at most, be taking half a dose of that, perhaps a quarter. It's simply too strong. I probably shouldn't have stopped all of it, but I was at the point where I couldn't think straight enough. So... *snip*
Hmm... on to honing, then a cup of coffee, and then... something else. Later.
What a night.
.
.
I had to fight to wake this morning. Like being in a riptide of sleep, I knew not to fight it directly. I had set the alarm to cut sleep just a bit shy of a seven hour sleep. I'm not sure if that was good or not. For all I know, whenever that alarm went off, it would have been a fight this morning. The first two times I simply knew, and just reset the alarm for an hour more. After those were done, I began fighting, using the snooze bar. There was nothing else I could do. Either that or I could have just surrendered the day to sleep. Though, sometimes, when I do that, it works. Just not always.
I dreamed in there. In one of the dreams I was speaking with a darkling. Evil creatures intent on destruction. It sometimes amazes me how well they know the full truth. They simply don't care, choose otherwise. Same with humans who have chosen to be their pets for whatever reasons. Oh, in the dream, they were kin. It's not like we don't know each other, and well. Men don't understand, because of the oddities of death and flesh that they know. But enemies, in reality, do talk fairly often and freely. The war, for them, was lost long ago. It would be like, among those who would and could, veterans speaking with their foreign adversaries years after a war. And more, those who believe in their side still. War in the spirit realm, is a thing of willpower. St. Michael is with God much of the time, it is suggested. Praising, but imbibing of God's will. Angels did not war as men do, or Satan would be dead, as with the rest. Think of it more like a scrum, in rugby. It is raw will. Only when they take flesh can they war like men, but they don't... fight well, in one sense. Imagine powerful warriors, but ones who do not know anything but a full frontal assault. They don't know ambush, flanking maneuvers, or even retreat. Powerful, in some situations... mostly when at war on the side of men who are facing a much larger army, one which dismisses them and just sends in waves of attackers without care. In a normal man war of give and take, flank and ambush, tactics and such, angels do... poorly.
Nephilim fought with both types, fallen and from the host on high. And win. Nephilim are like angels, but fight like men but with some fierce will as with angels. Terrible in their abandon, yet crafty in the arts of war. These also lost, but not to angels. That took an act of God. Even so, nephilim weren't Satanic. Animals, nearly. More, in a few ways. But animals that won't die. They die of flesh, as all things of flesh die, they just don't stay dead. On the playing field, in a sport, when someone is hurt, they might be removed from the game. But they come back, or are retired, it isn't the end. Earth, to such, is the game field, and death is merely an injury. I am not sure how the return functions. I have wondered if their genetics simply have to be remade. Another option is a child that dies, or is murdered, in the womb, can become a new host. Or specific ones. Yes, I suspect my birth mother did, or attempted, that very thing.
In any case, nephilim, once they become self-aware, remember the old ones. I term them uncles, those being angels. Angels I often call dragons. If Lucifer wore the body of a snake, at one time with legs, as an at one time host on high, archangel actually, why would others not have done so as well, even among the host on high? I know the punishment, the removal of legs, but that was for the guilty. A bit of a tale, too, that. I'll buy, but just as the flood ended life, it didn't end all life. There really are exceptions. Anyway, in remembering the old ones, and the old wars, there is talk among them. They do know each other. They might even like some of each of the others. It is just that their wills are no longer in alignment or with nephilim, for the most part, never were.
And, so, we talked. One of my dark uncles was trying to convince me of something we both knew to be false. Among other nephilim, who also knew it to be false, he would be given a pass on that in order that a pass be given in return on other lies for the preference of the dark nephilim. I have no such want of a pass on lies, for I do not believe in them or accept them. A fool, ignorant, sure, but not willfully accepting of untruth. I merely told him he should remember the time before tongues were split so as to counterfeit truth. He merely chuckled, and told me I had a split tongue. Which is true, but not for the sake of lies. He knows well that I have a split tongue in order to allow the various natures of man to understand. I once used it to parse truth to my advantage, much as money changers cheated customers in the temple, but that I surrendered that dark gift as well as one bearing flesh, and limited by it, may. Now I use it, as well as I may, that some may understand from a slightly different perspective.
Still, we spoke of the old days. Angels do not care much for war as men do them, or for the way angels fight. They are not warriors. None of them, if some are better at it. They really prefer to do their tasks, more often divine, or now fallen, bureaucrats of sorts. Messages are sent, small acts may be performed, and little things of good or evil may be performed through men. Angels can, sort of, enhance a man's ability. But the meat of any miracle comes through the faith or treachery of the man. Angels just can make way to connect the dots and make the event go forth. There is possession, but that isn't what many think. Imagine, having no skills, but being put in an airplane or helicopter mid-air, and then having to figure out controls and such. It ends in a terrible wreck. The flesh itself fights the will of the possessor, and for some who have a will that isn't to evil, some parts of them fight the possessor as well. I don't think they can possess nephilim at all. We are stronger, the power of angels and the flesh of men. Couldn't storm heaven... God, as Lucifer and co. found out. Some say, when we are in a time-out, that the darker of our spirit forms may also possess, what the bible differentiates as devil and demonic possession.
I don't know where all else the dream traveled, but I spoke with him for a while. He had been a favored uncle, back in the day. He already fallen by the time I came to be, but I was not with God at the time. I am not sure my good uncles would speak with me, even know. Even choosing to follow God, I am of flesh, and spirit, and am just as in need of Christ as any other of flesh. They... don't look fondly on men for this failing. While they do God's will, and guide, help with miracles, even guard men, and maintain some balance in the world, their love of man is... limited. Their love of my kind less. Still, we conversed. I won't say I tried to save him, but I would not allow for his lies, either. Pray you don't meet him in a dream. He is not one you would want to meet.
Crazy dreams. All of that story was sort of remembered in it. Much like if you had not been in your old highschool in decades, but went in one day and... could find your lockers, the one you used in the main hall, and the one you used for P.E. Remembering various home rooms, visualizing your teachers, favored or otherwise, and little stories from your time there. Almost seeing the ghosts of your youth. That girl you wanted to date, but she was a senior while you were a freshmen, or who seemed just out of your reach, the guy you did or almost got into a fight with, some of the hazing, some of the glory and shame of it all. It all came alive, in my mind, in the dream. Still, I lost most of it.
Now, remember, just a dream, a dream based on a story line I have built, if based roughly on theology, mind you. Don't go getting holy water, crucifixes, wolves' bane, mallet and hammer, preparing to storm my cave. I'd hate to have to put you down. Mostly. Though if you were reasonable, I'd put on a fresh pot of coffee and discuss much. Even suggesting a better monster killing kit. You actually can't kill. That is God's province. If such a task exists, and you are called to do it, your faith and simple mundane tools will see you to success quite nicely. A pistol, not a stake... a rifle, not wolves' bane. If even that will probably be through you, by an angel... or several... depending on the job. I haven't put the dream in order, I merely... wrote down what I remembered as I remembered it. One thing pinging off another, until I emptied my head of what of it remained. Not even sure it tracks or makes sense. You know how dreams go, and that first bit of waking. I'll review later, to see if I wrote it right. As per recall. A "not" where it doesn't belong, or a perspective that is off, can make a huge difference.
Ugh... Time to wake up I think. I'll have another sip or two of coffee, then see about a cup for the shaving soap, the shaving soap, and that honing material for the cloth strop. I'm a bit nervous. But I said, if I could clear the kitchen table I would do this, and so I mean to. Later.
.
I had to fight to wake this morning. Like being in a riptide of sleep, I knew not to fight it directly. I had set the alarm to cut sleep just a bit shy of a seven hour sleep. I'm not sure if that was good or not. For all I know, whenever that alarm went off, it would have been a fight this morning. The first two times I simply knew, and just reset the alarm for an hour more. After those were done, I began fighting, using the snooze bar. There was nothing else I could do. Either that or I could have just surrendered the day to sleep. Though, sometimes, when I do that, it works. Just not always.
Still, we spoke of the old days. Angels do not care much for war as men do them, or for the way angels fight. They are not warriors. None of them, if some are better at it. They really prefer to do their tasks, more often divine, or now fallen, bureaucrats of sorts. Messages are sent, small acts may be performed, and little things of good or evil may be performed through men. Angels can, sort of, enhance a man's ability. But the meat of any miracle comes through the faith or treachery of the man. Angels just can make way to connect the dots and make the event go forth. There is possession, but that isn't what many think. Imagine, having no skills, but being put in an airplane or helicopter mid-air, and then having to figure out controls and such. It ends in a terrible wreck. The flesh itself fights the will of the possessor, and for some who have a will that isn't to evil, some parts of them fight the possessor as well. I don't think they can possess nephilim at all. We are stronger, the power of angels and the flesh of men. Couldn't storm heaven... God, as Lucifer and co. found out. Some say, when we are in a time-out, that the darker of our spirit forms may also possess, what the bible differentiates as devil and demonic possession.
I don't know where all else the dream traveled, but I spoke with him for a while. He had been a favored uncle, back in the day. He already fallen by the time I came to be, but I was not with God at the time. I am not sure my good uncles would speak with me, even know. Even choosing to follow God, I am of flesh, and spirit, and am just as in need of Christ as any other of flesh. They... don't look fondly on men for this failing. While they do God's will, and guide, help with miracles, even guard men, and maintain some balance in the world, their love of man is... limited. Their love of my kind less. Still, we conversed. I won't say I tried to save him, but I would not allow for his lies, either. Pray you don't meet him in a dream. He is not one you would want to meet.
Crazy dreams. All of that story was sort of remembered in it. Much like if you had not been in your old highschool in decades, but went in one day and... could find your lockers, the one you used in the main hall, and the one you used for P.E. Remembering various home rooms, visualizing your teachers, favored or otherwise, and little stories from your time there. Almost seeing the ghosts of your youth. That girl you wanted to date, but she was a senior while you were a freshmen, or who seemed just out of your reach, the guy you did or almost got into a fight with, some of the hazing, some of the glory and shame of it all. It all came alive, in my mind, in the dream. Still, I lost most of it.
Now, remember, just a dream, a dream based on a story line I have built, if based roughly on theology, mind you. Don't go getting holy water, crucifixes, wolves' bane, mallet and hammer, preparing to storm my cave. I'd hate to have to put you down. Mostly. Though if you were reasonable, I'd put on a fresh pot of coffee and discuss much. Even suggesting a better monster killing kit. You actually can't kill. That is God's province. If such a task exists, and you are called to do it, your faith and simple mundane tools will see you to success quite nicely. A pistol, not a stake... a rifle, not wolves' bane. If even that will probably be through you, by an angel... or several... depending on the job. I haven't put the dream in order, I merely... wrote down what I remembered as I remembered it. One thing pinging off another, until I emptied my head of what of it remained. Not even sure it tracks or makes sense. You know how dreams go, and that first bit of waking. I'll review later, to see if I wrote it right. As per recall. A "not" where it doesn't belong, or a perspective that is off, can make a huge difference.
Ugh... Time to wake up I think. I'll have another sip or two of coffee, then see about a cup for the shaving soap, the shaving soap, and that honing material for the cloth strop. I'm a bit nervous. But I said, if I could clear the kitchen table I would do this, and so I mean to. Later.
Thursday, November 27, 2014
Honed.
.
.
Yeah, I did get to it. I forgot after writing that post. After a bit, while tinkering in the kitchen or using the restroom, I remembered and set the stones to soak. I worked them one each grit. I have sharpened before, but not at this level. I wasn't sure it would work, if I was doing it correctly, just didn't know. The blade is much sharper. After honing, I stropped the razor forty times or so. Yeah, it's pretty tight. I'm not sure if it actually is up to speed, but it is much sharper than it had been. I have some sort of chemical for the cloth part of the strop, which is a much finer grit yet. I may hit it with that tomorrow, strop again, and... Who knows. If it seems dandy sharp I may give it a whirl. If I can find everything I need. I thought I put it all right in one place, in one cabinet in the bathroom. I have seen everything but the soap. And I'll want to review a video or two before attempting to shave with it.
I have the stones soaking still. If this works to my satisfaction, I may hone another razor tomorrow. Perhaps a third. It doesn't take long to hone. It isn't hard work. At least, if I am doing it correctly. They say once you get them sharp, all you need to do is strop them daily and they can last from a month or two out to three, depending on your whiskers, technique, and how often you shave, possibly among other things. Hmm, oh, I haven't seen the honing compound around either, for a bit. But I haven't looked for either, specifically. So, to this point, they aren't officially lost yet. Too late for me to dig around tonight.
It's past bedtime. Tomorrow is a day off, and yet I would still like to be up earlier. Good night.
.
Yeah, I did get to it. I forgot after writing that post. After a bit, while tinkering in the kitchen or using the restroom, I remembered and set the stones to soak. I worked them one each grit. I have sharpened before, but not at this level. I wasn't sure it would work, if I was doing it correctly, just didn't know. The blade is much sharper. After honing, I stropped the razor forty times or so. Yeah, it's pretty tight. I'm not sure if it actually is up to speed, but it is much sharper than it had been. I have some sort of chemical for the cloth part of the strop, which is a much finer grit yet. I may hit it with that tomorrow, strop again, and... Who knows. If it seems dandy sharp I may give it a whirl. If I can find everything I need. I thought I put it all right in one place, in one cabinet in the bathroom. I have seen everything but the soap. And I'll want to review a video or two before attempting to shave with it.
I have the stones soaking still. If this works to my satisfaction, I may hone another razor tomorrow. Perhaps a third. It doesn't take long to hone. It isn't hard work. At least, if I am doing it correctly. They say once you get them sharp, all you need to do is strop them daily and they can last from a month or two out to three, depending on your whiskers, technique, and how often you shave, possibly among other things. Hmm, oh, I haven't seen the honing compound around either, for a bit. But I haven't looked for either, specifically. So, to this point, they aren't officially lost yet. Too late for me to dig around tonight.
It's past bedtime. Tomorrow is a day off, and yet I would still like to be up earlier. Good night.
Out and back.
.
.
Out to eat, then a bit of shopping, mostly window shopping. Then back. I am pretty worn today. I will be taking tomorrow off. Then, hopefully, I will be out Saturday. The sun is supposed to be back, or mostly. The temps are supposed to remain in the 50's. I suspect, if we can do it, we should get out shooting before that becomes too difficult or cold. For me, the cold isn't as much of an issue. A foot of snow is, to a degree. If I can learn to snowshoe well enough, I might even do some target practice while out. It offers one more incentive. I do like to shoot.
I do need a bit of rest though. I have been pushing for the last nearly two weeks. Going to town or cleaning, as little as it might seem it was a lot for me. Oh, I enjoyed it. And, if I can rest up a bit, I'll continue and do more on top of what was done. I might even get to something today. They totally cleared off the top of my kitchen table. I need to set up some things, but I also might soak my wet stones and work on one of my straight razors! With it that cleared off, and fearing my usual... path... I best get to this right away. If I can get the razor set, and practice on the balloons until I feel secure enough, then in fact begin shaving with it... as soon as I get the kinks worked out, and have a solid understanding of what I am doing, I may go ahead and hone the rest of my blades so they are all pretty much ready. Having a couple of them ready at any times means that if one gets dull it won't be a fuss, or not right away. I have to soak the stones for about an half hour first. I don't really feel like doing it, but as my grandfather might have said, feelings have nothing to do with it. So...
I am honestly not sure how well shaving with these will work out. I will give it a month or two. I may need breaks in there, if I cut myself a bit too much. I just don't quite know. Last time I tried this it was a horrible week or two. But then they weren't honed. I'll probably look at YouTube videos, over and over, looking for more insight. Some of it I won't catch until I do, if you know what I mean. Between practicing and watching others self-shave, I may catch those little tricks, or pick up on... those little things that are more practical but can't be explained well. If I get the skill, I will probably shave daily until the skill is set, then just shave every other day or so, at most. Sometimes I like whiskers, sometimes I don't mind a full or partial beard. Once the skill is owned, though, I can be less fussy. It's a bit spooky. Lots of bloody memories from the past shaving this way. We'll see. Ah, but to soak the stones.
Later.
.
Out to eat, then a bit of shopping, mostly window shopping. Then back. I am pretty worn today. I will be taking tomorrow off. Then, hopefully, I will be out Saturday. The sun is supposed to be back, or mostly. The temps are supposed to remain in the 50's. I suspect, if we can do it, we should get out shooting before that becomes too difficult or cold. For me, the cold isn't as much of an issue. A foot of snow is, to a degree. If I can learn to snowshoe well enough, I might even do some target practice while out. It offers one more incentive. I do like to shoot.
I do need a bit of rest though. I have been pushing for the last nearly two weeks. Going to town or cleaning, as little as it might seem it was a lot for me. Oh, I enjoyed it. And, if I can rest up a bit, I'll continue and do more on top of what was done. I might even get to something today. They totally cleared off the top of my kitchen table. I need to set up some things, but I also might soak my wet stones and work on one of my straight razors! With it that cleared off, and fearing my usual... path... I best get to this right away. If I can get the razor set, and practice on the balloons until I feel secure enough, then in fact begin shaving with it... as soon as I get the kinks worked out, and have a solid understanding of what I am doing, I may go ahead and hone the rest of my blades so they are all pretty much ready. Having a couple of them ready at any times means that if one gets dull it won't be a fuss, or not right away. I have to soak the stones for about an half hour first. I don't really feel like doing it, but as my grandfather might have said, feelings have nothing to do with it. So...
I am honestly not sure how well shaving with these will work out. I will give it a month or two. I may need breaks in there, if I cut myself a bit too much. I just don't quite know. Last time I tried this it was a horrible week or two. But then they weren't honed. I'll probably look at YouTube videos, over and over, looking for more insight. Some of it I won't catch until I do, if you know what I mean. Between practicing and watching others self-shave, I may catch those little tricks, or pick up on... those little things that are more practical but can't be explained well. If I get the skill, I will probably shave daily until the skill is set, then just shave every other day or so, at most. Sometimes I like whiskers, sometimes I don't mind a full or partial beard. Once the skill is owned, though, I can be less fussy. It's a bit spooky. Lots of bloody memories from the past shaving this way. We'll see. Ah, but to soak the stones.
Later.
Happy Thanksgiving.
.
.
I am just about to head out. I will call ahead first. It looks like the time he wanted to go is the time we will get there. He should know that, whatever I say, I'm always late. Bleh. Still, it works.
As to what to be thankful? Pretty much everything. Even the troubles, toils, blisters, and mistakes. These last have been from doing, growing, and learning. These, as a fact, are among the greater gifts. Friends, family, and God are the greatest gifts. How can a Father be a gift? He chose, so I am. Now for me to choose to do something with His choice. Yeah. I'm working on it. Too much gratitude for my mind to make a full accounting. So I'll just leave it there. I hope you can find similar.
Just an odd bit, but... I sometimes get 'dark' elbows. No matter how often I wash them, that phenomenon comes and goes. I think I figured it out. Since I have been moisturizing, that has removed this personal shame. I guess it had nothing to do with cleanliness after all. I always perceived that as some sort of failure on my part, or believed it might be perceived as such by others. Well, it's nice to have one of life's little complexities solved. Ah, but you should see the rest of the list! Still, one at a time. By the time I get a tenth of the list solved I will be right about ready to begin forgetting. Bleh. Still... I'll take what I can get, while I can still gather.
Travel safe if doing so. Eat well, and enjoy, even if you don't want to enjoy. Later.
.
I am just about to head out. I will call ahead first. It looks like the time he wanted to go is the time we will get there. He should know that, whatever I say, I'm always late. Bleh. Still, it works.
As to what to be thankful? Pretty much everything. Even the troubles, toils, blisters, and mistakes. These last have been from doing, growing, and learning. These, as a fact, are among the greater gifts. Friends, family, and God are the greatest gifts. How can a Father be a gift? He chose, so I am. Now for me to choose to do something with His choice. Yeah. I'm working on it. Too much gratitude for my mind to make a full accounting. So I'll just leave it there. I hope you can find similar.
Just an odd bit, but... I sometimes get 'dark' elbows. No matter how often I wash them, that phenomenon comes and goes. I think I figured it out. Since I have been moisturizing, that has removed this personal shame. I guess it had nothing to do with cleanliness after all. I always perceived that as some sort of failure on my part, or believed it might be perceived as such by others. Well, it's nice to have one of life's little complexities solved. Ah, but you should see the rest of the list! Still, one at a time. By the time I get a tenth of the list solved I will be right about ready to begin forgetting. Bleh. Still... I'll take what I can get, while I can still gather.
Travel safe if doing so. Eat well, and enjoy, even if you don't want to enjoy. Later.
I am always amazed.
.
.
A bit of help and... the place is tops. It always surprises me how fast work gets done. The rug under the table is gone. With great pleasure, after it was removed, I took that outside. I hope it fits the trash bin next trash cycle. There is still a carpet in the kitchen, but over near the sewing machine. That I can work with. Between my piddling attempts and their work, the place looks solid. They did more in a few hours than I did in the time between learning they would be arriving, and their arrival. Further, while the ladies were cleaning, the Mr and myself finally got that wall television mount up, put the patio furniture in the garage, and worked on the driveway. Look, no matter how men try, with cleaning we are more underfoot than a help, especially in tighter quarters. Oh, he looked over the faucet. That piece I thought had been missing was simply not a piece that fit in anywhere. He too could not get it to work. So... I'll be sending that in. I've given up on trying to make it work.
I am beat though. Between what I did last week, and then this week, I could use a short breather. So a short breather I will have. Next week I am hoping to wet vac the living room. This time I know right were those clear rug runners are, so that I don't have to walk on wet carpeting. I found the old, too, so I have plenty. There are little things I could do between then and now, as well. Not today, mind you. I went to bed so late. Fired up from a longer run I just couldn't quite go down. I tried a bit of a cheater, to no good effect. Hitting it about 2:00. I set the alarm for 10:00, I think. Waking well and solidly at 7:40 and change, I turned off the alarm and just got up.
.
A bit of help and... the place is tops. It always surprises me how fast work gets done. The rug under the table is gone. With great pleasure, after it was removed, I took that outside. I hope it fits the trash bin next trash cycle. There is still a carpet in the kitchen, but over near the sewing machine. That I can work with. Between my piddling attempts and their work, the place looks solid. They did more in a few hours than I did in the time between learning they would be arriving, and their arrival. Further, while the ladies were cleaning, the Mr and myself finally got that wall television mount up, put the patio furniture in the garage, and worked on the driveway. Look, no matter how men try, with cleaning we are more underfoot than a help, especially in tighter quarters. Oh, he looked over the faucet. That piece I thought had been missing was simply not a piece that fit in anywhere. He too could not get it to work. So... I'll be sending that in. I've given up on trying to make it work.
I am beat though. Between what I did last week, and then this week, I could use a short breather. So a short breather I will have. Next week I am hoping to wet vac the living room. This time I know right were those clear rug runners are, so that I don't have to walk on wet carpeting. I found the old, too, so I have plenty. There are little things I could do between then and now, as well. Not today, mind you. I went to bed so late. Fired up from a longer run I just couldn't quite go down. I tried a bit of a cheater, to no good effect. Hitting it about 2:00. I set the alarm for 10:00, I think. Waking well and solidly at 7:40 and change, I turned off the alarm and just got up.
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
The beast and the... not harlot.
.
.
Yeah, I get it. I have worked at this and that. I have tried to run, scare, push, and shove my way to... freedom. I did the same with God. God was persistent, I don't know about her. It's not even so much that I am thinking of getting in the trap. While sometimes I realize the ball is in my court, I know that isn't... exactly true. What I see bothers me. Oh, these are a bit tough too. So, go away should you be delicate. Uhrm, especially that kind of delicate. *wink* Though... congrats if so.
.
Yeah, I get it. I have worked at this and that. I have tried to run, scare, push, and shove my way to... freedom. I did the same with God. God was persistent, I don't know about her. It's not even so much that I am thinking of getting in the trap. While sometimes I realize the ball is in my court, I know that isn't... exactly true. What I see bothers me. Oh, these are a bit tough too. So, go away should you be delicate. Uhrm, especially that kind of delicate. *wink* Though... congrats if so.
Ah! Okay.
.
.
Today is the day people are coming by to help with the house, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Usually when I am doing as well as I have been, tracking things isn't a problem. My difficulty this time was that I became confused right from the start, thinking the cleaning day came after Thanksgiving. Yeah, yeah. And once I get something mistakenly stuck in my craw like that, well, my mind trips and stumbles over itself to make the incorrect idea right even though it isn't. I can become blind to realities until they land right square in writing somewhere. So... I best get ready, they will be arriving shortly.
I have taken care of the laundry. Now I need to finish the dishes, take a shower, and... whatever else I can get done. I had hoped for another evening and morning to do more, but that isn't how it goes always. Fine, I'll just have to... deal with my lowered output. I best get to it. Later.
.
Today is the day people are coming by to help with the house, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Usually when I am doing as well as I have been, tracking things isn't a problem. My difficulty this time was that I became confused right from the start, thinking the cleaning day came after Thanksgiving. Yeah, yeah. And once I get something mistakenly stuck in my craw like that, well, my mind trips and stumbles over itself to make the incorrect idea right even though it isn't. I can become blind to realities until they land right square in writing somewhere. So... I best get ready, they will be arriving shortly.
I have taken care of the laundry. Now I need to finish the dishes, take a shower, and... whatever else I can get done. I had hoped for another evening and morning to do more, but that isn't how it goes always. Fine, I'll just have to... deal with my lowered output. I best get to it. Later.
Had to have that nap.
.
.
You know though, I was probably right. If I had slept on to when I had originally set the alarm, I would have overslept. Actually, I did even going back in to sleep. No worries though. Having rewashed the dishes and set the laundry to wash, waking 40 minutes late wasn't much of an issue. The dishes are in a hot soak now, the laundry is drying. I haven't messed with the faucet yet. Though I am still ahead of the game. I honestly didn't think I would get to anything this morning to be perfectly honest.
I wasn't sure if my friend would call. He still hasn't. The meal might not be until later. I'll give him a call shortly. If it isn't until early afternoon, I might yet get to the sink and break down the boxes. This evening I am hoping to finish clearing the hallway, sweep, and clean the bathroom. Who knows, though, really. Sometimes I get distracted on other things. Much to do and little time, so I am trying to focus on specific whole tasks rather than just doing bits and pieces. That last always leads immediately to nowhere, if... it isn't all bad.
Laundry is about done, so I'll go mess with that, then hit the dishes. Later.
Oh, and happy Thanksgiving. I hope most of you got your work done already, or are traveling safely.
.
You know though, I was probably right. If I had slept on to when I had originally set the alarm, I would have overslept. Actually, I did even going back in to sleep. No worries though. Having rewashed the dishes and set the laundry to wash, waking 40 minutes late wasn't much of an issue. The dishes are in a hot soak now, the laundry is drying. I haven't messed with the faucet yet. Though I am still ahead of the game. I honestly didn't think I would get to anything this morning to be perfectly honest.
I wasn't sure if my friend would call. He still hasn't. The meal might not be until later. I'll give him a call shortly. If it isn't until early afternoon, I might yet get to the sink and break down the boxes. This evening I am hoping to finish clearing the hallway, sweep, and clean the bathroom. Who knows, though, really. Sometimes I get distracted on other things. Much to do and little time, so I am trying to focus on specific whole tasks rather than just doing bits and pieces. That last always leads immediately to nowhere, if... it isn't all bad.
Laundry is about done, so I'll go mess with that, then hit the dishes. Later.
Oh, and happy Thanksgiving. I hope most of you got your work done already, or are traveling safely.
Well, that's different.
.
.
Having gone to bed at midnight, and change, I set the alarm for 9:00. Even then I was hoping I would wake at that alarm. I must have consumed more coffee than usual, as I woke two previous times to use the restroom. That didn't effect sleep, or when I went to sleep. That was based on when I completed some tasks, and to a degree, those tasks were based on how long the dryer took, and needing a break between this and that. I woke, just a bit ago, at 7:00, almost exactly.
I won't say that I am comfortably awake. And yet I have a feeling that if I slept to the alarm, I might not wake well. I reset the dishes for another wash, actually. I didn't like the feel of them after the wash last night. The cutting board, I think, introduced a bunch of fat from the corned beef au jus. I rinsed it well in very hot water before adding to the wash water, but... that stuff is pretty rich. I am about to start a load of laundry, being that it is early enough, I think, to see that through.
I did wash the dishes, as I suggested, last night. And I got all of the laundry I dried, and some other that had been left dry, arranged and put up. Not too bad, really. I may go in and sleep a little longer, with those two things started. I won't feel so bad if I overshoot a bit, and I will already have a start to the morning going when I wake. Yeah, a little more sleep? I don't know... After I set the laundry I will consider it. I hate decisions when I'm not quite awake enough to make them well. Later.
.
Having gone to bed at midnight, and change, I set the alarm for 9:00. Even then I was hoping I would wake at that alarm. I must have consumed more coffee than usual, as I woke two previous times to use the restroom. That didn't effect sleep, or when I went to sleep. That was based on when I completed some tasks, and to a degree, those tasks were based on how long the dryer took, and needing a break between this and that. I woke, just a bit ago, at 7:00, almost exactly.
I won't say that I am comfortably awake. And yet I have a feeling that if I slept to the alarm, I might not wake well. I reset the dishes for another wash, actually. I didn't like the feel of them after the wash last night. The cutting board, I think, introduced a bunch of fat from the corned beef au jus. I rinsed it well in very hot water before adding to the wash water, but... that stuff is pretty rich. I am about to start a load of laundry, being that it is early enough, I think, to see that through.
I did wash the dishes, as I suggested, last night. And I got all of the laundry I dried, and some other that had been left dry, arranged and put up. Not too bad, really. I may go in and sleep a little longer, with those two things started. I won't feel so bad if I overshoot a bit, and I will already have a start to the morning going when I wake. Yeah, a little more sleep? I don't know... After I set the laundry I will consider it. I hate decisions when I'm not quite awake enough to make them well. Later.
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
More done but running late.
.
.
I might hit the dishes, I have finished the first load of laundry but won't be putting another in tonight, and I have done a bunch of other little things. Little things have to be done before big things, to make room, as an ordered event, or for whatever reason. So many little things. Just a half dozen big things, it's just figuring how to work through to them. I'm not tired, or sore, just done, somehow. Dishes, actually, and putting up laundry. But other than that, I have done what I can.
I am not sure when my friend wants to go. Perhaps the place is only open a few hours. I simply don't know. I'll keep the phone close enough to hear it. I suspect, or hope, he calls earlier. I should have called and requested that. I know, if he remembers who he is dealing with, he will call. I'll set my alarm for a reasonable hour. And if I can't wake then, I'll reset it rather than turn it off. If I am awake enough to know what I am doing when fiddling with it, mind you.
I am hoping to wake early enough to wake well, then tinker with the faucet. Perhaps even installing it if all works out. The afternoon will see what it sees. I would like to break the cardboard down, too, and take it into town. They might not be open, but having a load of flattened cardboard in the back isn't a problem of any sort. I can get that in Friday, perhaps, while I do minor shopping. Milk and cream, as usual. And, if warm enough, perhaps a day of shooting. My friend would like to go tomorrow, but with assistance arriving, I want to work until they arrive, for as little as that might mean in real terms, it means a lot to me. Incentives being used to generate function. I do when I can.
Good night.
.
I might hit the dishes, I have finished the first load of laundry but won't be putting another in tonight, and I have done a bunch of other little things. Little things have to be done before big things, to make room, as an ordered event, or for whatever reason. So many little things. Just a half dozen big things, it's just figuring how to work through to them. I'm not tired, or sore, just done, somehow. Dishes, actually, and putting up laundry. But other than that, I have done what I can.
I am not sure when my friend wants to go. Perhaps the place is only open a few hours. I simply don't know. I'll keep the phone close enough to hear it. I suspect, or hope, he calls earlier. I should have called and requested that. I know, if he remembers who he is dealing with, he will call. I'll set my alarm for a reasonable hour. And if I can't wake then, I'll reset it rather than turn it off. If I am awake enough to know what I am doing when fiddling with it, mind you.
I am hoping to wake early enough to wake well, then tinker with the faucet. Perhaps even installing it if all works out. The afternoon will see what it sees. I would like to break the cardboard down, too, and take it into town. They might not be open, but having a load of flattened cardboard in the back isn't a problem of any sort. I can get that in Friday, perhaps, while I do minor shopping. Milk and cream, as usual. And, if warm enough, perhaps a day of shooting. My friend would like to go tomorrow, but with assistance arriving, I want to work until they arrive, for as little as that might mean in real terms, it means a lot to me. Incentives being used to generate function. I do when I can.
Good night.
More time than I thought!
.
.
I was thinking the help would be arriving tomorrow. No, not on Thanksgiving! When you live so detached from the loop that you don't even notice weekends without checking some external device, holidays are a bear to track. On the good side, it means I have more time to tinker. I do have an afternoon meal to attend tomorrow, but I can work, perhaps, before that. I can definitely work after that. Which is quite good. Every task I start usually requires other tasks to be done first, during, or after. Nothing is quite as linear as it looks on paper. The extra day is exciting. I have a little internal bet going on. Winning is worth it.
I have been working in spits and bursts. While I am able to be up, I try to do several things. Quickly, quickly! Before the hammer drops and I must sit. In the last burst, I put a load of laundry into the dryer, set up a load of dishes, policed the living room, took some stores to the basement, and even scratched the very tip of the surface in the kitchen, tossing some things that needed going. I won't put another load of laundry in until this load dries. I'm sort of doing laundry in such a way that I don't overload and end up leaving laundry untended. I am rewashing some things that were too wrinkled from last time as well. Towels and underwear I don't care about, or t-shirts. But real shirts, jeans, and pants get way too messed up.
Before the night is through I am hoping to have two more good work events, two loads of laundry, and the dishes done. As well, perhaps clean the bathroom, and get it ready for sweeping tomorrow. It's a race to get as much done as possible, on my own. Hmm... there was something else, several things, I was hoping to get done today. Yeah, well, maybe not those. Maybe not even what I hope to do. We'll see.
Later.
.
I was thinking the help would be arriving tomorrow. No, not on Thanksgiving! When you live so detached from the loop that you don't even notice weekends without checking some external device, holidays are a bear to track. On the good side, it means I have more time to tinker. I do have an afternoon meal to attend tomorrow, but I can work, perhaps, before that. I can definitely work after that. Which is quite good. Every task I start usually requires other tasks to be done first, during, or after. Nothing is quite as linear as it looks on paper. The extra day is exciting. I have a little internal bet going on. Winning is worth it.
I have been working in spits and bursts. While I am able to be up, I try to do several things. Quickly, quickly! Before the hammer drops and I must sit. In the last burst, I put a load of laundry into the dryer, set up a load of dishes, policed the living room, took some stores to the basement, and even scratched the very tip of the surface in the kitchen, tossing some things that needed going. I won't put another load of laundry in until this load dries. I'm sort of doing laundry in such a way that I don't overload and end up leaving laundry untended. I am rewashing some things that were too wrinkled from last time as well. Towels and underwear I don't care about, or t-shirts. But real shirts, jeans, and pants get way too messed up.
Before the night is through I am hoping to have two more good work events, two loads of laundry, and the dishes done. As well, perhaps clean the bathroom, and get it ready for sweeping tomorrow. It's a race to get as much done as possible, on my own. Hmm... there was something else, several things, I was hoping to get done today. Yeah, well, maybe not those. Maybe not even what I hope to do. We'll see.
Later.
Getting to some of it.
.
.
I doubt if I will get as much done as I had hoped. I am not giving up hope, mind you. I did a reasonable little set of tasks this morning. I then had lunch and am allowing that to be negotiated in the engine. A bad heart means even digestion is often a little pokey. I think a cup of coffee, and a look around while doing that, then another round of efforts in the afternoon. There is some hope that beside this afternoon, that I might wake early enough to hit it again in the morning. Oh, I could just leave it, but that isn't my nature. Just the threat of receiving help makes me want to put in more effort. We will see.
I do believe I will hit some laundry, I might put a load in while fixing my coffee. While I have cleaned the sink, mostly, I might first see if the extra piece I found will make the device work. If so, I might hit that as my next thing. If not, I will continue with minor policing, putting bits and pieces and parts where they go, more or less. I am hoping to hit the bathroom hard, and sweep most floors, and mop at least the bathroom, before the day is through. Anything else that goes forward will be pure luck. Even getting these things all arranged will be... a bit of luck. All good.
Oh, and a load of dishes. I just ordered a couple of batches of containers. I prefer to wash everything new, and there are a few odds and ends that could go in as well. Should just require a single wash though, so... Ah, right, and those glasses I purchased some time ago. I never did get those washed and either put up or stored. Glass containers, while okay, don't quite work as I had hoped for just me. They don't stack well, they are round not square, they aren't quite convenient sizes... things you have to learn as you go. They were, at least, rather inexpensive. And they are the hardened glass that can go from freezer to oven, at least with some time to thaw completely and come to room temp. They might be better for some things, prepared meals for two or three people as an example, so I won't be disposing of them, simply putting them in storage. I also purchased metal measuring cups and spoons, and a couple of very small (2 and 5 ounce) measuring cups (glasses, really). Yeah, I like my kitchen gear... Foodie and kitchen prep nerd/fanboy. Whatever. But I use them, so...
Yes, yes, coffee. The house doesn't seemed to have warmed. It must be really chilly out there. Might sneak in a shower after dishes, or before, then bundle a bit warmer. Later.
.
I doubt if I will get as much done as I had hoped. I am not giving up hope, mind you. I did a reasonable little set of tasks this morning. I then had lunch and am allowing that to be negotiated in the engine. A bad heart means even digestion is often a little pokey. I think a cup of coffee, and a look around while doing that, then another round of efforts in the afternoon. There is some hope that beside this afternoon, that I might wake early enough to hit it again in the morning. Oh, I could just leave it, but that isn't my nature. Just the threat of receiving help makes me want to put in more effort. We will see.
I do believe I will hit some laundry, I might put a load in while fixing my coffee. While I have cleaned the sink, mostly, I might first see if the extra piece I found will make the device work. If so, I might hit that as my next thing. If not, I will continue with minor policing, putting bits and pieces and parts where they go, more or less. I am hoping to hit the bathroom hard, and sweep most floors, and mop at least the bathroom, before the day is through. Anything else that goes forward will be pure luck. Even getting these things all arranged will be... a bit of luck. All good.
Oh, and a load of dishes. I just ordered a couple of batches of containers. I prefer to wash everything new, and there are a few odds and ends that could go in as well. Should just require a single wash though, so... Ah, right, and those glasses I purchased some time ago. I never did get those washed and either put up or stored. Glass containers, while okay, don't quite work as I had hoped for just me. They don't stack well, they are round not square, they aren't quite convenient sizes... things you have to learn as you go. They were, at least, rather inexpensive. And they are the hardened glass that can go from freezer to oven, at least with some time to thaw completely and come to room temp. They might be better for some things, prepared meals for two or three people as an example, so I won't be disposing of them, simply putting them in storage. I also purchased metal measuring cups and spoons, and a couple of very small (2 and 5 ounce) measuring cups (glasses, really). Yeah, I like my kitchen gear... Foodie and kitchen prep nerd/fanboy. Whatever. But I use them, so...
Yes, yes, coffee. The house doesn't seemed to have warmed. It must be really chilly out there. Might sneak in a shower after dishes, or before, then bundle a bit warmer. Later.
Late was the hour.
.
.
I did go to bed late. I was trying to fight through to get things done. I was slow to get another brisket, corned beef type, going as well. But that wasn't the real problem. I think weather blew in last night and put a damper on things. I did wake at 7:00, the 8:30, but couldn't actually get out of bed until about 11:00 or noon? I haven't worn myself out working, so I think it was just the cold spell. It feels chilly even now. Hmm, I'll turn the heat up and bundle a bit. On down days, this is how I like it. On days I am trying to work, this simply doesn't do. I did do some things yesterday, but not nearly as much as I had hoped. I will hit things today, harder, if I can.
Some snow is down, and sticking. I wouldn't call it a real storm, not yet anyway. I have heard that up to an inch or two could fall in the valleys. I don't know if what is down is what of that snow that remains or if more is on the way. While I am at things today, I may start the snow blower and let it run for a bit. I'll check the oil and gas, while I am at it. I meant to do that a while ago. Yeah, I meant to do a lot of things a while ago. And I mean to do it today, too. *grin* We'll see.
I might, while heating the cave, light up something for lunch. I've got to tell you, corned beef, potatoes, carrots, and cabbage is a small delight. It is so easy to make too. Big pot, cold water, 50 minutes per pound, add potatoes and carrots with an hour left, and cabbage with about an half hour left to cook. The cabbage won't quite be done, so I turn off the heat and remove the pot from the heated spot as well, and give it about 20 more minutes. Easy. I don't even always add the spice mix that comes with the corned beef. I like it either way, but I don't always favor the crunchy bits. I suppose I could make a spice poultice, with a number of materials, but... well... I don't. Keeping those things fresh, and on hand, is a bit of a task.
My meals have been pretty good lately. Home done, garden goods, and such. I've got to tell you, that is true fine dining. Oh, I've eaten at places where a plate is $100, back when a $100 was a full $50, not the $20 it is today. :p I have eaten rarefied, I have particular, I have eaten custom and special. Nothing is as good as home grown, home cooked, at it's best. If a woman likes a man, she will learn this thing. If I could find a woman who would do the odds and ends around it, I would cook just as such, at least part of the time. Which reminds me, now that I have a place to buy spice as I prefer it, I need to begin stocking on those spices. Still, it's good to have real food come in, from time to time. When cooking for myself, for the most part, vegetables are a forgotten thing. Unless they can all go in the pot, assuming I remember to buy them, and that they are fresh enough to use. Bleh.
Well... lunch and my plan. Hopefully a good lot of work today. Later.
.
I did go to bed late. I was trying to fight through to get things done. I was slow to get another brisket, corned beef type, going as well. But that wasn't the real problem. I think weather blew in last night and put a damper on things. I did wake at 7:00, the 8:30, but couldn't actually get out of bed until about 11:00 or noon? I haven't worn myself out working, so I think it was just the cold spell. It feels chilly even now. Hmm, I'll turn the heat up and bundle a bit. On down days, this is how I like it. On days I am trying to work, this simply doesn't do. I did do some things yesterday, but not nearly as much as I had hoped. I will hit things today, harder, if I can.
Some snow is down, and sticking. I wouldn't call it a real storm, not yet anyway. I have heard that up to an inch or two could fall in the valleys. I don't know if what is down is what of that snow that remains or if more is on the way. While I am at things today, I may start the snow blower and let it run for a bit. I'll check the oil and gas, while I am at it. I meant to do that a while ago. Yeah, I meant to do a lot of things a while ago. And I mean to do it today, too. *grin* We'll see.
I might, while heating the cave, light up something for lunch. I've got to tell you, corned beef, potatoes, carrots, and cabbage is a small delight. It is so easy to make too. Big pot, cold water, 50 minutes per pound, add potatoes and carrots with an hour left, and cabbage with about an half hour left to cook. The cabbage won't quite be done, so I turn off the heat and remove the pot from the heated spot as well, and give it about 20 more minutes. Easy. I don't even always add the spice mix that comes with the corned beef. I like it either way, but I don't always favor the crunchy bits. I suppose I could make a spice poultice, with a number of materials, but... well... I don't. Keeping those things fresh, and on hand, is a bit of a task.
My meals have been pretty good lately. Home done, garden goods, and such. I've got to tell you, that is true fine dining. Oh, I've eaten at places where a plate is $100, back when a $100 was a full $50, not the $20 it is today. :p I have eaten rarefied, I have particular, I have eaten custom and special. Nothing is as good as home grown, home cooked, at it's best. If a woman likes a man, she will learn this thing. If I could find a woman who would do the odds and ends around it, I would cook just as such, at least part of the time. Which reminds me, now that I have a place to buy spice as I prefer it, I need to begin stocking on those spices. Still, it's good to have real food come in, from time to time. When cooking for myself, for the most part, vegetables are a forgotten thing. Unless they can all go in the pot, assuming I remember to buy them, and that they are fresh enough to use. Bleh.
Well... lunch and my plan. Hopefully a good lot of work today. Later.
Still there.
.
.
Ammonia was good. Cleared the head a bit. One pain relieves another, or so they say. Cleared but not cleaned. Some things shouldn't be cleaned, the process introduces more impurities than it removes. Some things, while not native, are natural and good as well. And, so, something remains.
.
Ammonia was good. Cleared the head a bit. One pain relieves another, or so they say. Cleared but not cleaned. Some things shouldn't be cleaned, the process introduces more impurities than it removes. Some things, while not native, are natural and good as well. And, so, something remains.
Monday, November 24, 2014
Never sure.
.
.
Anger. Okay. I am used to that. But... was it because of what I said, what I meant, or a misunderstanding? Trust me, I deal with this so often, and from so many people, that figuring it out is a major hobby. At one time it was meant as such. Once I realized that more often than not even my most plain discussions were misunderstood, I decided to just enjoy it. As I came to a better understanding of Father, I chose a different path in that particular neck of the woods. Oh, sure, from time to time, I... play. My game, in this area, to the best of my ability, is mild, and inclusive, humor in these days. Still, it remains that when I say ten words, there are many meanings. I cannot change that. A part of my nature, lacking hubris or ill intent, as always actually. As I said, being misunderstood was native, what I did with that was my choice.
In any case, the anger I encountered was from unexpected country. I suspect something of a musical varietal upset some balance of notions. I, as a whole, came into question. Now, I could not be certain of which part caused the problem. It is odd, for as... strangely natured as women are, should I be discussing something pertaining to their goals in life, they understand me almost immediately. Manfolk... balk. Women know things, and as a general rule go places that men never consider. Even if given short shrift notice, men would not linger long in some places of the feminine. Can't, won't, both? I, unlike many of my brothers, can just as easily dance in a lady's arena as I can in man's. I fear not these things, and enjoy them immensely. While dismissive of women if they enter a man's domain, I am not wholly, or at all really, dismissive of women. In some ways, I regard them as remarkable. However, as with a horse in water, or a shark on land, there are places where they are, and should be to themselves, fully out of their element. Even with my understandings, I give ladies room when requested or required. And should I breech such, I do so humbly.
In any case, I think he now understands. Whether through further contemplation, additional material, or banter with her, he now seems quite pleased. Oh, worry not. I am, and will be, as I am, regardless of support or detraction. A cursed blessing, or blessed curse, as with much of my nature, I can never be certain. I humbly suggest I am merely attempting to wear my Father's shoes, as... silly as that notion is in truth, it is not without some merit and handsome young strength. It simply is what it is. However, for some, I prefer agreement. Support is even better. And so it was, after a time. Yes, I really can see into the dark, into the soul, into the mind. An artifact of survival, a whim of my very unique nature, a truth to one day be owned by all. Passing through the fire, into the light, and on to grace. For those who will bear this, they will know as I do, probably more surely. A time of peace forevermore, for those who choose the price of the grace, will be known for it.
Ah... blathering. Satisfied with... how events have ended on this account to date. Good night.
.
Anger. Okay. I am used to that. But... was it because of what I said, what I meant, or a misunderstanding? Trust me, I deal with this so often, and from so many people, that figuring it out is a major hobby. At one time it was meant as such. Once I realized that more often than not even my most plain discussions were misunderstood, I decided to just enjoy it. As I came to a better understanding of Father, I chose a different path in that particular neck of the woods. Oh, sure, from time to time, I... play. My game, in this area, to the best of my ability, is mild, and inclusive, humor in these days. Still, it remains that when I say ten words, there are many meanings. I cannot change that. A part of my nature, lacking hubris or ill intent, as always actually. As I said, being misunderstood was native, what I did with that was my choice.
In any case, the anger I encountered was from unexpected country. I suspect something of a musical varietal upset some balance of notions. I, as a whole, came into question. Now, I could not be certain of which part caused the problem. It is odd, for as... strangely natured as women are, should I be discussing something pertaining to their goals in life, they understand me almost immediately. Manfolk... balk. Women know things, and as a general rule go places that men never consider. Even if given short shrift notice, men would not linger long in some places of the feminine. Can't, won't, both? I, unlike many of my brothers, can just as easily dance in a lady's arena as I can in man's. I fear not these things, and enjoy them immensely. While dismissive of women if they enter a man's domain, I am not wholly, or at all really, dismissive of women. In some ways, I regard them as remarkable. However, as with a horse in water, or a shark on land, there are places where they are, and should be to themselves, fully out of their element. Even with my understandings, I give ladies room when requested or required. And should I breech such, I do so humbly.
In any case, I think he now understands. Whether through further contemplation, additional material, or banter with her, he now seems quite pleased. Oh, worry not. I am, and will be, as I am, regardless of support or detraction. A cursed blessing, or blessed curse, as with much of my nature, I can never be certain. I humbly suggest I am merely attempting to wear my Father's shoes, as... silly as that notion is in truth, it is not without some merit and handsome young strength. It simply is what it is. However, for some, I prefer agreement. Support is even better. And so it was, after a time. Yes, I really can see into the dark, into the soul, into the mind. An artifact of survival, a whim of my very unique nature, a truth to one day be owned by all. Passing through the fire, into the light, and on to grace. For those who will bear this, they will know as I do, probably more surely. A time of peace forevermore, for those who choose the price of the grace, will be known for it.
Ah... blathering. Satisfied with... how events have ended on this account to date. Good night.
Down early, up late anyway?
.
.
Yep. I was in bed just after 22:00. I slept well. I did dream. What I remember is a recurring dream, where over and over, I was trapped in a time loop. I knew I was in it, but couldn't quite figure out how to break it. One end of the loop was an ancient life of mine, during a particularly nasty war. The other end was to modern days. The loop may not have been mind to alter. I dreamed that dream at least three or four times throughout the night. It was sort of a longish dream, too, as dreams go. The warfare didn't bug me, actually these days bother me more. Being as ill as I can be.
I set the alarm for 6:00, since I was in bed so early. I did hear it and woke. I turned it off thinking I was up, basically. Another version of that dream, and some time later, and I went to roll out. I thought it had just been a snap sleep, with that dream being short. Whatever about the dream, but then I noticed light. Yeah, no, not a snap sleep. It was 8:30 when I kicked out. Must have needed it, I suppose. I hate when that happens. I was sure I was simply going to turn off the alarm, roll over, then roll out. My body rarely tricks me like that. There are times when I don't remember turning off the alarm, there are times where I do remember but decide, or realize, that I can't wake. But very rarely do my compliments of mind and body trick each other or get baffled like that. Irritating. Meh, I'll live.
I've been slathering the goo on, at night, in the morning, after showering. It will still take a while to recover. I do wonder about my soap though. It might be exceptionally drying. I love liquid soap though. And using a spray bottle to apply it means very little waste. I thought that might be too cold in the winter, but I just spray it into my hands, create a lather there, than apply it, and that has worked perfectly. I may need to find some other soap, liquid or not, that is heavily fatted, and use them in some sort of rotation when I shower more often. Zero fat soap might just be too much, especially during really dry parts of the year. Something I am noticing is that, when my skin is more moist it holds heat in better. Or... that is how it seems. Hmm, how about this... it seems to regulate my body heat better? Yeah, that is what I am thinking. I'll keep an eye on things, and give a better review of my thoughts, observations, when they are more fully developed.
Hmm? Today? I don't know. I did get some of that all done yesterday. And I think I can get to some more and go on with today's list. But I have no clue at this moment. Essentially, I just woke up. My first coffee is not finished. I'll... get there, and probably shortly. In spite of oversleeping I am feeling good. Hmm, might turn the furnace up just a touch though too. That seems to help. I sleep in my cold room wonderfully, but need just a touch of heat in the day. Creaky bones and sore muscles result from trying to move and work in too much cold.
Later.
.
Yep. I was in bed just after 22:00. I slept well. I did dream. What I remember is a recurring dream, where over and over, I was trapped in a time loop. I knew I was in it, but couldn't quite figure out how to break it. One end of the loop was an ancient life of mine, during a particularly nasty war. The other end was to modern days. The loop may not have been mind to alter. I dreamed that dream at least three or four times throughout the night. It was sort of a longish dream, too, as dreams go. The warfare didn't bug me, actually these days bother me more. Being as ill as I can be.
I set the alarm for 6:00, since I was in bed so early. I did hear it and woke. I turned it off thinking I was up, basically. Another version of that dream, and some time later, and I went to roll out. I thought it had just been a snap sleep, with that dream being short. Whatever about the dream, but then I noticed light. Yeah, no, not a snap sleep. It was 8:30 when I kicked out. Must have needed it, I suppose. I hate when that happens. I was sure I was simply going to turn off the alarm, roll over, then roll out. My body rarely tricks me like that. There are times when I don't remember turning off the alarm, there are times where I do remember but decide, or realize, that I can't wake. But very rarely do my compliments of mind and body trick each other or get baffled like that. Irritating. Meh, I'll live.
I've been slathering the goo on, at night, in the morning, after showering. It will still take a while to recover. I do wonder about my soap though. It might be exceptionally drying. I love liquid soap though. And using a spray bottle to apply it means very little waste. I thought that might be too cold in the winter, but I just spray it into my hands, create a lather there, than apply it, and that has worked perfectly. I may need to find some other soap, liquid or not, that is heavily fatted, and use them in some sort of rotation when I shower more often. Zero fat soap might just be too much, especially during really dry parts of the year. Something I am noticing is that, when my skin is more moist it holds heat in better. Or... that is how it seems. Hmm, how about this... it seems to regulate my body heat better? Yeah, that is what I am thinking. I'll keep an eye on things, and give a better review of my thoughts, observations, when they are more fully developed.
Hmm? Today? I don't know. I did get some of that all done yesterday. And I think I can get to some more and go on with today's list. But I have no clue at this moment. Essentially, I just woke up. My first coffee is not finished. I'll... get there, and probably shortly. In spite of oversleeping I am feeling good. Hmm, might turn the furnace up just a touch though too. That seems to help. I sleep in my cold room wonderfully, but need just a touch of heat in the day. Creaky bones and sore muscles result from trying to move and work in too much cold.
Later.
Sunday, November 23, 2014
Ammonia.
.
.
Palate cleansing, boys and girls. Love, and the feminine, is something your humble writer truly enjoys. Traveling the thoughts of women of various natures was... interesting. Refreshing perhaps. Even a little threatening. I have a taste for each, so all good. Always curious, and hungry, if cautious these days. Only in recent years have I even been able to allow for it again. There is some hope that I may even bow to the potential of negotiating with it. Right in my own cave. Learning from it, through it, as I learn to command and be commanded by it. But it is not what I am. A piece here, a part there. Strong enough to endure it, even embrace it, but never be it. No. And so I clear the psychic nostrils so that the oblations that only come from the son may go to the Father. These too are good, and sweet in their own ways. What I am, I share. Go away you who are weak. If you have psychic allergies or asthma, the following is not for you.
.
Palate cleansing, boys and girls. Love, and the feminine, is something your humble writer truly enjoys. Traveling the thoughts of women of various natures was... interesting. Refreshing perhaps. Even a little threatening. I have a taste for each, so all good. Always curious, and hungry, if cautious these days. Only in recent years have I even been able to allow for it again. There is some hope that I may even bow to the potential of negotiating with it. Right in my own cave. Learning from it, through it, as I learn to command and be commanded by it. But it is not what I am. A piece here, a part there. Strong enough to endure it, even embrace it, but never be it. No. And so I clear the psychic nostrils so that the oblations that only come from the son may go to the Father. These too are good, and sweet in their own ways. What I am, I share. Go away you who are weak. If you have psychic allergies or asthma, the following is not for you.
How about them apples?
.
.
Oh, sure, later in the day. It seemed like time to get to something. Oh, nothing much, or fancy, just a bit of housekeeping. The last time help arrived for that the place was terrible. I mean for that not to be the case, or at least not as bad. I honestly couldn't get to it last time, not much. This time I am hoping to use that as a springboard. More so now that I have caught my breath. Boxes and packaging that had stacked up have been sorted and moved, some of it broken down, some more to go. There are a number of areas and plans from the past I think I can get through yet today. Perhaps all of the boxes, clearing the entry hallway, trash and recycling, and figuring out or just dumping and cleaning one of the litter boxes that is... a problem. I've dug through it with the rake-shovel the last few days but can find no incriminating bits. Then a bit more each day on to, and maybe after, help rumbles through the cave.
Each day I hope to get a bit more done. And, while I am taking things to the garage, perhaps hit that a bit at a time as well. I don't know what I will hit, exactly, tomorrow. Probably the kitchen and bathroom floors. Oh, and maybe finally putting the faucet back together with the piece I found, seeing if that works, and if so, then reinstalling that. And finally a general cleaning of the bathroom. That would be enough to satisfy. Toss in a load or two of laundry, and putting up the patio furniture, and I think I could call it a day.
Tuesday would be just a general policing. Anything that might not be fit for company would be put away. Oh, no, I don't have girly magazines around or such. But my swords and firearms, mostly, would be put up. And anything men have no problem with but are not really for women. I can't think of anything else offhand, but I'll look with that in mind as I go about the place. Well... a bit of music, then back to it. Later.
.
Oh, sure, later in the day. It seemed like time to get to something. Oh, nothing much, or fancy, just a bit of housekeeping. The last time help arrived for that the place was terrible. I mean for that not to be the case, or at least not as bad. I honestly couldn't get to it last time, not much. This time I am hoping to use that as a springboard. More so now that I have caught my breath. Boxes and packaging that had stacked up have been sorted and moved, some of it broken down, some more to go. There are a number of areas and plans from the past I think I can get through yet today. Perhaps all of the boxes, clearing the entry hallway, trash and recycling, and figuring out or just dumping and cleaning one of the litter boxes that is... a problem. I've dug through it with the rake-shovel the last few days but can find no incriminating bits. Then a bit more each day on to, and maybe after, help rumbles through the cave.
Each day I hope to get a bit more done. And, while I am taking things to the garage, perhaps hit that a bit at a time as well. I don't know what I will hit, exactly, tomorrow. Probably the kitchen and bathroom floors. Oh, and maybe finally putting the faucet back together with the piece I found, seeing if that works, and if so, then reinstalling that. And finally a general cleaning of the bathroom. That would be enough to satisfy. Toss in a load or two of laundry, and putting up the patio furniture, and I think I could call it a day.
Tuesday would be just a general policing. Anything that might not be fit for company would be put away. Oh, no, I don't have girly magazines around or such. But my swords and firearms, mostly, would be put up. And anything men have no problem with but are not really for women. I can't think of anything else offhand, but I'll look with that in mind as I go about the place. Well... a bit of music, then back to it. Later.
Ah, the seventh day.
.
.
While many of my days have seen me more exhausted than if I had just worked six days, so am ready for a day off, this week I actually, considering all, did enough work that this Sunday feels like a truly deserved day of rest. And, if I can make it so, it will be. It isn't always possible, sometimes one's ass could get stuck in a hole. It seems that qualifies an allowance for work on the prescribed day of rest. Christ rose on Sunday.
Sometimes, how God had things written, and what happened, I am most astutely aware of His sense of mild humor. Putting odd two and two's together sometimes yields a little humor in there. Some wires cross, an ignition takes place, eyebrows lift, and... I can all but hear Him and Christ discussing it in heaven... "Oh, did you see that one's expression? Yeah, I thought he was going to explode!" The first time I put the above together, my eyebrows did about knit. I wanted to refuse... the connection... but failed. I didn't want to laugh, seemed profane. I was just a lad, mind you, not even in highschool. But the laugh eventually roared out of me.
I went years before I dared share it. Even now I only do so with some caution. Many are so intent on God being just in this little box that they forget He really is our Father. The best of what we are, He not only knows but Is. Vengeful, fearful, angry, but loving, joyous, laughing, too. Much as our father in our homes. I always had a fearful respect. But if I would approach, it might be better to enter with a touch of well placed humor. A gift before requesting a boon, a present to bring about a pleasant shift of attention, a chuckle to start a debate. I quite think God is similar. Not a master, other than as His duty, but a Father.
I do need rest today. I doubt if I will be leaving my chair much. Not from a lack of will. As with Friday, there wasn't a way out of my chair. I am not truly wiped out. I feel really good. Some minor aches as I wake. I am going to have to say, at this point and thinking back on it, it probably isn't the new pillows. Half of my mornings see some aches and pains, usually dissipating within an hour or two. Usually mild, though sometimes, rarely, rather wicked. It's the number of summers I have seen. And, actually, I am probably in excellent shape that way, all considered, and compared with my contemporaries. Still, regardless of how I feel, I do believe the mechanisms are worn. Still, it is good to have that minor sense that I have earned my way to the dessert that Sunday was always meant to be.
I am not sure when I went to bed. I had forgotten to set the alarm, but woke right at 7:00 anyway. All very good. On to... something. Good day.
.
While many of my days have seen me more exhausted than if I had just worked six days, so am ready for a day off, this week I actually, considering all, did enough work that this Sunday feels like a truly deserved day of rest. And, if I can make it so, it will be. It isn't always possible, sometimes one's ass could get stuck in a hole. It seems that qualifies an allowance for work on the prescribed day of rest. Christ rose on Sunday.
Sometimes, how God had things written, and what happened, I am most astutely aware of His sense of mild humor. Putting odd two and two's together sometimes yields a little humor in there. Some wires cross, an ignition takes place, eyebrows lift, and... I can all but hear Him and Christ discussing it in heaven... "Oh, did you see that one's expression? Yeah, I thought he was going to explode!" The first time I put the above together, my eyebrows did about knit. I wanted to refuse... the connection... but failed. I didn't want to laugh, seemed profane. I was just a lad, mind you, not even in highschool. But the laugh eventually roared out of me.
I went years before I dared share it. Even now I only do so with some caution. Many are so intent on God being just in this little box that they forget He really is our Father. The best of what we are, He not only knows but Is. Vengeful, fearful, angry, but loving, joyous, laughing, too. Much as our father in our homes. I always had a fearful respect. But if I would approach, it might be better to enter with a touch of well placed humor. A gift before requesting a boon, a present to bring about a pleasant shift of attention, a chuckle to start a debate. I quite think God is similar. Not a master, other than as His duty, but a Father.
I do need rest today. I doubt if I will be leaving my chair much. Not from a lack of will. As with Friday, there wasn't a way out of my chair. I am not truly wiped out. I feel really good. Some minor aches as I wake. I am going to have to say, at this point and thinking back on it, it probably isn't the new pillows. Half of my mornings see some aches and pains, usually dissipating within an hour or two. Usually mild, though sometimes, rarely, rather wicked. It's the number of summers I have seen. And, actually, I am probably in excellent shape that way, all considered, and compared with my contemporaries. Still, regardless of how I feel, I do believe the mechanisms are worn. Still, it is good to have that minor sense that I have earned my way to the dessert that Sunday was always meant to be.
I am not sure when I went to bed. I had forgotten to set the alarm, but woke right at 7:00 anyway. All very good. On to... something. Good day.
Saturday, November 22, 2014
Finally. Done, done, and done.
.
.
It took getting out four days this week. I did do some things I needed to do beside the primary goals. Several meals, some odds and ends shopping, my first Christmas present out, helping a friend in a couple of ways. Not bad. Plus, just getting out was good. I was running it right to the line. No matter, so long as I made it in before the post office closed. I can't figure out why it is so difficult to get out. Meh, I'll keep trying. I hope to get out once or twice next week as well. Just a trip to town, though if the weather warms enough for my friend, a trip to the range is hoped.
It looks like housecleaning will be going forward as well. Help is on the way. I'll do what I can between now and then though. It's pretty rough in here. Hmm, oh, and I best check my cleaning supplies. Thankfully it will be in the afternoon. Morning are just a bear lately. I am greatly looking forward to having some help. And, after this week, there is some hope that I might be able to do more beyond the help this time. We will see. If I get much cleaning done between now and then, game might be on.
I did find some lotion. I bought the udder cream, although it has been humanized. It has a mild... floral?... scent to it. They choose the worst scents to add to things. But I did buy one that was definitely scent free and extra rich. I'll be using it when I go to bed at night, after showering especially if I keep bearing down with the pumice stone, and then just whenever. My hands have really come around lately. My feet are going to take a good deal more work. Elbows, I noticed, could use a little work too. And legs. Yeah, it's just really dry or something lately. I hope to get over it soon, though. I hate bathing in goo! I'm a man, for heaven's sake! :)
It's been a great week. I hope to keep it up. If I can, snowshoeing should be a breeze. Then, maybe next year if I scout some good areas, winter camping. I'd love to go out for about a week, or two, and track deer or elk, earlier in the season anyway. If I do camp, I'll need a serious tent, and if I am tracking, I might as well have something to shoot. Since I won't have tags it'll have to be a camera. Complicated, but it sounds like fun to me. Later.
.
It took getting out four days this week. I did do some things I needed to do beside the primary goals. Several meals, some odds and ends shopping, my first Christmas present out, helping a friend in a couple of ways. Not bad. Plus, just getting out was good. I was running it right to the line. No matter, so long as I made it in before the post office closed. I can't figure out why it is so difficult to get out. Meh, I'll keep trying. I hope to get out once or twice next week as well. Just a trip to town, though if the weather warms enough for my friend, a trip to the range is hoped.
It looks like housecleaning will be going forward as well. Help is on the way. I'll do what I can between now and then though. It's pretty rough in here. Hmm, oh, and I best check my cleaning supplies. Thankfully it will be in the afternoon. Morning are just a bear lately. I am greatly looking forward to having some help. And, after this week, there is some hope that I might be able to do more beyond the help this time. We will see. If I get much cleaning done between now and then, game might be on.
I did find some lotion. I bought the udder cream, although it has been humanized. It has a mild... floral?... scent to it. They choose the worst scents to add to things. But I did buy one that was definitely scent free and extra rich. I'll be using it when I go to bed at night, after showering especially if I keep bearing down with the pumice stone, and then just whenever. My hands have really come around lately. My feet are going to take a good deal more work. Elbows, I noticed, could use a little work too. And legs. Yeah, it's just really dry or something lately. I hope to get over it soon, though. I hate bathing in goo! I'm a man, for heaven's sake! :)
It's been a great week. I hope to keep it up. If I can, snowshoeing should be a breeze. Then, maybe next year if I scout some good areas, winter camping. I'd love to go out for about a week, or two, and track deer or elk, earlier in the season anyway. If I do camp, I'll need a serious tent, and if I am tracking, I might as well have something to shoot. Since I won't have tags it'll have to be a camera. Complicated, but it sounds like fun to me. Later.
Ruh-rho?
.
.
Sort of. It looks like the post office is open. It must just have been delivery that was ended? Don't look at me like that. I try to ignore things that, as a general rule, don't involve me. Of course, that means a shower, getting dressed, and getting there. I also have to find the addresses and transfer those to the items. All before... well... I only have a short time. While I am in town I will visit a couple of shops, looking for moisturizer. I am pretty sure of one place. Udder cream would probably be at one of the farm supply stores.
All aches and pains have dissipated. It wouldn't matter, I'd still push to get to town. Still, sometimes, it's a little easier to get to things without feeling twisted, bent, and rusted. Another cup of coffee. While I'm doing that I'll fetch clean clothes and set them in the bathroom. I might even trim the whiskers a bit. Yeah, I think I can do all that. When I finish, I will call my friend. It's raining, so getting out isn't on the schedule. Still, I asked if he liked checkers. Checkers and chess, he suggested. If he wants a visitor, I may have to find a double game and take that over. Nothing fancy, just something to pass a bit of time.
I suppose I ought to get going. The coffee won't drink itself, the clothes won't volunteer their placement, and nothing else will get done without a little leg action. Later.
.
Sort of. It looks like the post office is open. It must just have been delivery that was ended? Don't look at me like that. I try to ignore things that, as a general rule, don't involve me. Of course, that means a shower, getting dressed, and getting there. I also have to find the addresses and transfer those to the items. All before... well... I only have a short time. While I am in town I will visit a couple of shops, looking for moisturizer. I am pretty sure of one place. Udder cream would probably be at one of the farm supply stores.
All aches and pains have dissipated. It wouldn't matter, I'd still push to get to town. Still, sometimes, it's a little easier to get to things without feeling twisted, bent, and rusted. Another cup of coffee. While I'm doing that I'll fetch clean clothes and set them in the bathroom. I might even trim the whiskers a bit. Yeah, I think I can do all that. When I finish, I will call my friend. It's raining, so getting out isn't on the schedule. Still, I asked if he liked checkers. Checkers and chess, he suggested. If he wants a visitor, I may have to find a double game and take that over. Nothing fancy, just something to pass a bit of time.
I suppose I ought to get going. The coffee won't drink itself, the clothes won't volunteer their placement, and nothing else will get done without a little leg action. Later.
Really good cycles.
.
.
I can't be sure when I went to bed. It was actually much earlier in the evening than usual, I believe. After 20:00, though how close to 21:00 I just can't be sure. And, no, I didn't get out yesterday. I had a tough time staying awake. I don't feel worn, or tired, more like a sense of weight on me. I got out three times this week, I suppose that just caught up with me. I will see if the main post office is open on Saturdays, but I think they ended that a few years ago. I have simply never had a reason to be sure until now. Then again, even if it was open, I can't be sure I would be able to get there.
Sleep was good. Some mornings I wake up slightly cranky. I don't think I have pillow setup, or familiarity, down yet. Usually it passes. I often have that cranky body morning feel, this is just worse than it used to be. Thankfully, I am usually not awake solidly enough to suffer much, I just notice it. By the time I am more fully awake the pain is gone. Gearing the mind and body to being awake is quite a trick. I think back to when there were phone operators, who pulled this cord, and plugged it there, and so on. Only there are banks of operators in there trying to establish, or re-establish, connections where they are supposed to go. Nothing new. I won't even say the operators are slower. While there might be a lot more connections to make than when I was younger, the process has always been a bit painful and slow for me. Not a morning guy. I have always thought noon should be morning, and that should be pushing things.
.
I can't be sure when I went to bed. It was actually much earlier in the evening than usual, I believe. After 20:00, though how close to 21:00 I just can't be sure. And, no, I didn't get out yesterday. I had a tough time staying awake. I don't feel worn, or tired, more like a sense of weight on me. I got out three times this week, I suppose that just caught up with me. I will see if the main post office is open on Saturdays, but I think they ended that a few years ago. I have simply never had a reason to be sure until now. Then again, even if it was open, I can't be sure I would be able to get there.
Sleep was good. Some mornings I wake up slightly cranky. I don't think I have pillow setup, or familiarity, down yet. Usually it passes. I often have that cranky body morning feel, this is just worse than it used to be. Thankfully, I am usually not awake solidly enough to suffer much, I just notice it. By the time I am more fully awake the pain is gone. Gearing the mind and body to being awake is quite a trick. I think back to when there were phone operators, who pulled this cord, and plugged it there, and so on. Only there are banks of operators in there trying to establish, or re-establish, connections where they are supposed to go. Nothing new. I won't even say the operators are slower. While there might be a lot more connections to make than when I was younger, the process has always been a bit painful and slow for me. Not a morning guy. I have always thought noon should be morning, and that should be pushing things.
Friday, November 21, 2014
Yes, I am awake.
.
.
Another later night to bed. It was just a bit, perhaps a quarter past 23:00, when I finally could curl up to sleep. Sleep was wonderful. Soft notions of being near a woman, in chastity, with graces, perfumed my dreams. A familiarity, comfort, was to be had from that. Sleep was easy and good.
I set the alarm for 8:00 but woke, again, at 7:00. I am not actually tired or worn from the week. I am having trouble shoving into my day, as usual. Other than that, everything is working quite well. I need to get a shower shortly. I also need to think about my plans. A pistol, extra magazines, and ammunition needs to go along. The latter is never an issue, the former two though will have to be remembered. Oh, and I best remember to bring my phone today. Actually, I will put the addresses on the envelope and package before I go. I might have to fill out a form, and transfer what is on the package to the form, but that is of little concern. I may see about sending the package one day, or two day. The earliest it might arrive is Monday, so I am not sure it is all that great of a deal. Still, I would like to expedite the process.
Hmm... What else do I need to do? I don't know. I think that is it. If I think about it, I might go to the coffee shop. They also sell loose leaf tea, a sometimes favorite of mine in the winter. As well, they sell herbs and spices the way I used to buy them. There are several I would like to purchase. A medley of traditional Italian spices, various Mexican food types, and a few odds and ends of my own preferences. Just a little bit of that good stuff, and just the right points in small meals... a bolster to store purchased marinara... spice judiciously employed will take a meal from simple and bland to a minor delight. If I have to eat, I prefer to eat well. Probably the French in my genes. Snobbish, I suppose. Though curiosity, hunger, and other things, which are difficult for me to satisfy using brute force, make some of that, at times, a necessity. If I can't eat, or won't, a little 'sugar' with the medicine can make the difference.
Well... I think I'll have a small lunch before pushing out into the shower, then on into the wide woolly world. Later.
.
Another later night to bed. It was just a bit, perhaps a quarter past 23:00, when I finally could curl up to sleep. Sleep was wonderful. Soft notions of being near a woman, in chastity, with graces, perfumed my dreams. A familiarity, comfort, was to be had from that. Sleep was easy and good.
I set the alarm for 8:00 but woke, again, at 7:00. I am not actually tired or worn from the week. I am having trouble shoving into my day, as usual. Other than that, everything is working quite well. I need to get a shower shortly. I also need to think about my plans. A pistol, extra magazines, and ammunition needs to go along. The latter is never an issue, the former two though will have to be remembered. Oh, and I best remember to bring my phone today. Actually, I will put the addresses on the envelope and package before I go. I might have to fill out a form, and transfer what is on the package to the form, but that is of little concern. I may see about sending the package one day, or two day. The earliest it might arrive is Monday, so I am not sure it is all that great of a deal. Still, I would like to expedite the process.
Hmm... What else do I need to do? I don't know. I think that is it. If I think about it, I might go to the coffee shop. They also sell loose leaf tea, a sometimes favorite of mine in the winter. As well, they sell herbs and spices the way I used to buy them. There are several I would like to purchase. A medley of traditional Italian spices, various Mexican food types, and a few odds and ends of my own preferences. Just a little bit of that good stuff, and just the right points in small meals... a bolster to store purchased marinara... spice judiciously employed will take a meal from simple and bland to a minor delight. If I have to eat, I prefer to eat well. Probably the French in my genes. Snobbish, I suppose. Though curiosity, hunger, and other things, which are difficult for me to satisfy using brute force, make some of that, at times, a necessity. If I can't eat, or won't, a little 'sugar' with the medicine can make the difference.
Well... I think I'll have a small lunch before pushing out into the shower, then on into the wide woolly world. Later.
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Another day to town?
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.
I even made it pretty much on time. I still didn't get to everything. But... I am steps closer. All I should need to do is put the addresses on, or... something... then send the package and letter. I had everything, today, but the addresses. They are in my phone and my phone was at home. Yes, a little disappointed. I did get my friend to the store to return the broken machine. They removed the vhs, though it took them a while. I went on to my bank to figure out why my card wasn't working. They changed them, because of the problem with Home Depot. I stopped on the way home, but it wasn't in that load of mail. I think I have a pile I haven't gone through around somewhere. Yeah, I... don't always read my mail.
Tomorrow will see another trip to town. I will be looking for hand and body moisturizer as well as sending what is to go out. My friend thinks it might be an opportunity to shoot. I suppose that is possible. It isn't my prime priority, and will only happen if all else is done, and in a timely enough manner. Out of the house four of the last five days, if I go. Quite a thing, and yet not a thing at all. Odd. I am tired, but I would be at this time of evening anyway. Failure? Failure is not trying. I am very trying. Ask... anybody! *smile*
.
I even made it pretty much on time. I still didn't get to everything. But... I am steps closer. All I should need to do is put the addresses on, or... something... then send the package and letter. I had everything, today, but the addresses. They are in my phone and my phone was at home. Yes, a little disappointed. I did get my friend to the store to return the broken machine. They removed the vhs, though it took them a while. I went on to my bank to figure out why my card wasn't working. They changed them, because of the problem with Home Depot. I stopped on the way home, but it wasn't in that load of mail. I think I have a pile I haven't gone through around somewhere. Yeah, I... don't always read my mail.
Tomorrow will see another trip to town. I will be looking for hand and body moisturizer as well as sending what is to go out. My friend thinks it might be an opportunity to shoot. I suppose that is possible. It isn't my prime priority, and will only happen if all else is done, and in a timely enough manner. Out of the house four of the last five days, if I go. Quite a thing, and yet not a thing at all. Odd. I am tired, but I would be at this time of evening anyway. Failure? Failure is not trying. I am very trying. Ask... anybody! *smile*
Perhaps with a bit more speed.
.
.
Waking well and a bit early considering the givens means nothing with regards to filling a sail. The wind, of a specific sort, in the correct direction, must be at hand. I do worry, especially after this week of late and difficult starts. Today, though, I was able to get to the shower before a phone call acted as a waking reverie, breaking me out of my trance like state and sending me forth. Slowly, even then, usually. Partially dressed, with lunch just finishing, and nearly an hour before the call comes in. After lunch, I am hoping to put my packages and post together and be ready to send those as I arrive in town.
I am not sure what all is planned. A return of the device, for immediate replacement. The replacement will need to be installed, but that is easy. I will make lunch light, however, as I do have a few shopping stops planned myself. We can do those along the way. Three visits to town to do the simple things I had planned. I definitely planned for too much, at this point in time. I suppose I was hoping to break through to more. It does happen, but not without filling the plans to beyond my seeming capacity. There is only ever one way to know some things.
A few minutes and the lunch alarm... there it goes. Later.
.
Waking well and a bit early considering the givens means nothing with regards to filling a sail. The wind, of a specific sort, in the correct direction, must be at hand. I do worry, especially after this week of late and difficult starts. Today, though, I was able to get to the shower before a phone call acted as a waking reverie, breaking me out of my trance like state and sending me forth. Slowly, even then, usually. Partially dressed, with lunch just finishing, and nearly an hour before the call comes in. After lunch, I am hoping to put my packages and post together and be ready to send those as I arrive in town.
I am not sure what all is planned. A return of the device, for immediate replacement. The replacement will need to be installed, but that is easy. I will make lunch light, however, as I do have a few shopping stops planned myself. We can do those along the way. Three visits to town to do the simple things I had planned. I definitely planned for too much, at this point in time. I suppose I was hoping to break through to more. It does happen, but not without filling the plans to beyond my seeming capacity. There is only ever one way to know some things.
A few minutes and the lunch alarm... there it goes. Later.
Not bad.
.
.
I never did get dinner going early, as I had hoped. I don't think I started until about 17:00. It takes 45 minutes to get the pot up to a boil, then 50 minutes per pound. It actually takes longer, because when you add the potatoes, then later the carrots, and finally the cabbage, you have to get the pot back to at least a simmer. Between cooking and eating, and then... well... digesting enough of that to be able to sleep, it was 11:00 and change, aka midnight for accounting purposes, before I went to bed. I set the alarm for 8:00, though hoped for an earlier wake. And got it. I was awake at 5:00, but went back to sleep, waking right at 7:00. Sleep was about as perfect as it gets. Waking was as natural as I could hope, and on time. I love it when it works.
I told my friend I would drive so he could return the malfunctioning dvd/vhs today. Looks like that should be easy. I haven't prepared the items I meant to have ready, but I have some time. A letter and a box, if I don't have everything that is supposed to go into the box quite ready. I have to purchase some items first, that go in the box. If all else fails, I can skip the box. It isn't as important, though... I would rather send the box too. It's a non-debt debt. An obligation. It's a little thing, tiny thing really, but important in ways that money doesn't play a part. When a friend does a little thing, it is returning that. Original, in content, if not in theory. Still... a debt is a debt. Now if I could figure out something original to get ahead of that game. Bah! Women are much better in these areas.
No shower yesterday. But for five days before that, a shower a day. Another today. Luxury. Every other days is best, but after a... brush with the wild, I needed the pleasure. I had thought I was having allergies to my soap. Odd, I've been using it for a decade without issue. But my hands were beginning to have sores. I decided to use lotion for a bit. It seems that has fixed it. Odd, that. I did require lotion when I first moved here. My skin desperately needed to be slathered in the stuff. Moving from a perma-wet atmosphere to a bone dry one, that made sense. I acclimatized quite quickly though. After the first six months or year, I was good. Well, for whatever reason, that failed. By the way, hand lotion goes bad. I tried some old stuff, which was horrible and smelled off. I didn't realize that until I was done. Burned my hands, too. I found some newer stuff, if the newer stuff is more for feet. I will buy some new stuff today, something without any perfumes, alcohol, or anything else like it. A tub of stuff. Hmm, I should look up what mechanics and farmers use. Man stuff. Just... hand stuff, or hand and feet. I have one dry spot on the top of my foot, which I haven't treated quite yet. I'll do that after my shower today. I wasn't sure if the treatment would work, and truly despise putting goop on, so didn't do my foot. Might as well do both feet while I am at it. And legs and arms. The torso is good, though some on the back might be nice. I just can't really get to that... can I? Hmm... for an inactive mostly dead guy, I'm actually more limber than one might think possible. I might have to try that. It feels dry right down the middle of my back.
Later.
.
I never did get dinner going early, as I had hoped. I don't think I started until about 17:00. It takes 45 minutes to get the pot up to a boil, then 50 minutes per pound. It actually takes longer, because when you add the potatoes, then later the carrots, and finally the cabbage, you have to get the pot back to at least a simmer. Between cooking and eating, and then... well... digesting enough of that to be able to sleep, it was 11:00 and change, aka midnight for accounting purposes, before I went to bed. I set the alarm for 8:00, though hoped for an earlier wake. And got it. I was awake at 5:00, but went back to sleep, waking right at 7:00. Sleep was about as perfect as it gets. Waking was as natural as I could hope, and on time. I love it when it works.
I told my friend I would drive so he could return the malfunctioning dvd/vhs today. Looks like that should be easy. I haven't prepared the items I meant to have ready, but I have some time. A letter and a box, if I don't have everything that is supposed to go into the box quite ready. I have to purchase some items first, that go in the box. If all else fails, I can skip the box. It isn't as important, though... I would rather send the box too. It's a non-debt debt. An obligation. It's a little thing, tiny thing really, but important in ways that money doesn't play a part. When a friend does a little thing, it is returning that. Original, in content, if not in theory. Still... a debt is a debt. Now if I could figure out something original to get ahead of that game. Bah! Women are much better in these areas.
No shower yesterday. But for five days before that, a shower a day. Another today. Luxury. Every other days is best, but after a... brush with the wild, I needed the pleasure. I had thought I was having allergies to my soap. Odd, I've been using it for a decade without issue. But my hands were beginning to have sores. I decided to use lotion for a bit. It seems that has fixed it. Odd, that. I did require lotion when I first moved here. My skin desperately needed to be slathered in the stuff. Moving from a perma-wet atmosphere to a bone dry one, that made sense. I acclimatized quite quickly though. After the first six months or year, I was good. Well, for whatever reason, that failed. By the way, hand lotion goes bad. I tried some old stuff, which was horrible and smelled off. I didn't realize that until I was done. Burned my hands, too. I found some newer stuff, if the newer stuff is more for feet. I will buy some new stuff today, something without any perfumes, alcohol, or anything else like it. A tub of stuff. Hmm, I should look up what mechanics and farmers use. Man stuff. Just... hand stuff, or hand and feet. I have one dry spot on the top of my foot, which I haven't treated quite yet. I'll do that after my shower today. I wasn't sure if the treatment would work, and truly despise putting goop on, so didn't do my foot. Might as well do both feet while I am at it. And legs and arms. The torso is good, though some on the back might be nice. I just can't really get to that... can I? Hmm... for an inactive mostly dead guy, I'm actually more limber than one might think possible. I might have to try that. It feels dry right down the middle of my back.
Later.
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
What there is to offer?
.
.
A question or a doubt, perhaps both and more. I wonder as I go about my life. Piles of gold have been squandered, truth has been parsed to the spare, strength has been spent, the mind left to wander. What, indeed, to give. Ah, but never worry. What is on offer is gilded and worthy, if it can be seen and entered. Not without gifts, not without life, not without enough, should she choose to dare the slipper.
Banished indeed, so far as I was able. Yet what is true cannot be sent away. One yet remains. To her I send this vision. Be well and beware. You have entered the mind of the son of dragons. Reformed, perhaps, for what little that will afford you. Oh, but I did test, and shoo. Yet... there you are. So be it.
.
A question or a doubt, perhaps both and more. I wonder as I go about my life. Piles of gold have been squandered, truth has been parsed to the spare, strength has been spent, the mind left to wander. What, indeed, to give. Ah, but never worry. What is on offer is gilded and worthy, if it can be seen and entered. Not without gifts, not without life, not without enough, should she choose to dare the slipper.
Banished indeed, so far as I was able. Yet what is true cannot be sent away. One yet remains. To her I send this vision. Be well and beware. You have entered the mind of the son of dragons. Reformed, perhaps, for what little that will afford you. Oh, but I did test, and shoo. Yet... there you are. So be it.
Some mornings lend themselves to humor.
.
.
It was a bit late before I could go down. I was out later, so that made sense. I set the alarm for eight hours and change, so 7:00. When I heard the alarm this morning, I rolled to look. The reading was 7:08? I must have hit the snooze bar a couple of times without remembering having done so. Light was starting to trickle in, but the sun was definitely not yet up. I hit the bar again, so it would be 7:12 next time. The next time the alarm went off, it was 7:22 or something. I muse have missed some more bar hits and alarm soundings in there. I hit the snooze again. At 7:28 I was finally able to muster what it took to wake. Not an unusual thing, given a couple of days of being out, and the effort it took just to get out. Maybe not funny to others, but it gave me a little grin for my morning. If you can leave your struggle, for just a little bit, and look at it from a impersonal perspective, or the perspective of someone else, I would hope that much in life will grant you just a bit of a chuckle or grin. Works for me.
Today? I'm pretty zapped. I am just going to do little things, if I can, and rest. Two days of pushing so very hard, then barely getting out. Then being out and about, doing and going, shopping and tinkering, has left me... pretty much as I was. I'm not extra tired, I am not worn, but I am like I was... having difficulty getting going. I'll figure something out, when I can, as I am able. Oh... there are a few things I need to prepare before my next trip to town. I will take care of those things for sure. Perhaps a few other things, if I can.
Oh... Some of what I purchased means I can make corned beef. I went with red potatoes this time, probably more traditional anyway. Cabbage, carrots, water, and the package of meat are all else that is required. That should feed me for four or five days, too. I really do enjoy that, and it's an easy fix. I might get on that shortly. It'll be ready by the time I can muster enough strength to eat, and hunger to eat. Yeah, even eating, in my current condition, and even with a strong appetite if that shows up, is work.
Later.
.
It was a bit late before I could go down. I was out later, so that made sense. I set the alarm for eight hours and change, so 7:00. When I heard the alarm this morning, I rolled to look. The reading was 7:08? I must have hit the snooze bar a couple of times without remembering having done so. Light was starting to trickle in, but the sun was definitely not yet up. I hit the bar again, so it would be 7:12 next time. The next time the alarm went off, it was 7:22 or something. I muse have missed some more bar hits and alarm soundings in there. I hit the snooze again. At 7:28 I was finally able to muster what it took to wake. Not an unusual thing, given a couple of days of being out, and the effort it took just to get out. Maybe not funny to others, but it gave me a little grin for my morning. If you can leave your struggle, for just a little bit, and look at it from a impersonal perspective, or the perspective of someone else, I would hope that much in life will grant you just a bit of a chuckle or grin. Works for me.
Today? I'm pretty zapped. I am just going to do little things, if I can, and rest. Two days of pushing so very hard, then barely getting out. Then being out and about, doing and going, shopping and tinkering, has left me... pretty much as I was. I'm not extra tired, I am not worn, but I am like I was... having difficulty getting going. I'll figure something out, when I can, as I am able. Oh... there are a few things I need to prepare before my next trip to town. I will take care of those things for sure. Perhaps a few other things, if I can.
Oh... Some of what I purchased means I can make corned beef. I went with red potatoes this time, probably more traditional anyway. Cabbage, carrots, water, and the package of meat are all else that is required. That should feed me for four or five days, too. I really do enjoy that, and it's an easy fix. I might get on that shortly. It'll be ready by the time I can muster enough strength to eat, and hunger to eat. Yeah, even eating, in my current condition, and even with a strong appetite if that shows up, is work.
Later.
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Oh, I did get out.
.
.
Late, as usual. Too late. I couldn't get everything done. Then again, I am probably expecting too much anyway. Not until past 15:00 and more. I did get shipping tape, envelopes, and some other such. I went grocery shopping. I took my friend for dinner and set up his new dvd/vhs, but that didn't work. He didn't want to take it back tonight. He wants to work with it a bit. If he can't get it working by Thursday we will be taking it back. That is one good thing about buying local. Of course, he has a vhs tape stuck in the machine, and wants it back. I hope he doesn't try to dig it out, he could void warranty. Let them tear it apart so his hands are clean.
I did a few other things as well, but not everything I had hoped to do. I did check my accounts, and then drafted a couple of checks that need to be sent out, deposited a couple of checks into my account, and in time will be calling in a rather large debt owed to me. I have some other things I need to work out. For now, though, just small things. I can't believe how difficult it has been to get out. I have had to push and shove. Even then I don't get out until much later than I had hoped. Odd thing is, the outings aren't wearing me out, not terribly.
Bedtime, and past that actually. I am tired, but no more than I would be if I hadn't gotten out. Oh, I missed a call today. One I would have preferred to catch. Probably a reminder that tonight was a meeting night. A meeting I would have enjoyed attending. But everything backed up, I lost track, and that was that. I need to call and get in with that again, if I can.
I do have a massive neck muscle ache that is threatening to turn into a headache. It's been brewing for a couple of days. I've been ignoring it. I think I'll take anicin and hope if that kills the pain enough, whatever is out might go back into place while I sleep. The pains of life...
Good night.
.
Late, as usual. Too late. I couldn't get everything done. Then again, I am probably expecting too much anyway. Not until past 15:00 and more. I did get shipping tape, envelopes, and some other such. I went grocery shopping. I took my friend for dinner and set up his new dvd/vhs, but that didn't work. He didn't want to take it back tonight. He wants to work with it a bit. If he can't get it working by Thursday we will be taking it back. That is one good thing about buying local. Of course, he has a vhs tape stuck in the machine, and wants it back. I hope he doesn't try to dig it out, he could void warranty. Let them tear it apart so his hands are clean.
I did a few other things as well, but not everything I had hoped to do. I did check my accounts, and then drafted a couple of checks that need to be sent out, deposited a couple of checks into my account, and in time will be calling in a rather large debt owed to me. I have some other things I need to work out. For now, though, just small things. I can't believe how difficult it has been to get out. I have had to push and shove. Even then I don't get out until much later than I had hoped. Odd thing is, the outings aren't wearing me out, not terribly.
Bedtime, and past that actually. I am tired, but no more than I would be if I hadn't gotten out. Oh, I missed a call today. One I would have preferred to catch. Probably a reminder that tonight was a meeting night. A meeting I would have enjoyed attending. But everything backed up, I lost track, and that was that. I need to call and get in with that again, if I can.
I do have a massive neck muscle ache that is threatening to turn into a headache. It's been brewing for a couple of days. I've been ignoring it. I think I'll take anicin and hope if that kills the pain enough, whatever is out might go back into place while I sleep. The pains of life...
Good night.
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