Not bad.

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I actually didn't want to push it and get out again today.  Seriously, I just got better.  Still, I had thought one of three things would force my hand.  It turns out all of them were smoke on the horizon without a fire to them.  I called to check on a haircut, as I had told my friend I would.  It turns out Thursday is the only reasonable next day for that.  So I set it up.  Since the meeting isn't until next week, I can shop for the beverages I will be taking when I next go to town, and the snacks can be bought right before the meeting give or take.  So, I get to stay in today.  But I did keep my end of the bargain on several things, so far, and I did let the people know who needed to know what they needed to know.

Today is just a chill day.  I think the cool well in back is helping.  But I am not sure it will, in the end, help all that much.  Time will tell.  On to goofing!

*Pop*

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Two days in a row I have made it out of bed, before 9:00, like an ice cube coming out the tray when everything works.  The girls are hungry first thing.  And I have not been in such a mood as to facilitate their desires.  So, I set the timer for an hour and a half.  They are then being taught to leave me the hell alone until I've had my morning waking time.  Some mornings are better than others, but these girls are spoiled.  I'm not going to mar them further.  I implemented this long ago, actually, but now that I am looking to be heading toward a regular sleep cycle again, it might mean something for them.

I plan to get to town again today.  I want to check on a haircut.  And while I do, I will check for my friend.  Further, I need to do a bit more shopping.  More meats, more milk, and there is something else.  I think I will be back for dinner time though, or that is the plan.  The foray into town today is meant to be short and sweet.  As any time in town really should be.  A town or city really, is just a bunch of people trying to get what they want, do what they want, go where they want, all when they would rather not (usually) be doing what they are doing but for their need to eat.  It is not a happy place.  A farmer may not always be happy to be awake or doing what he is doing but he is alone enough to be more congenial when he does happen upon another human face.  City folks... not so much.  While you are feeding them, you are another smelly human who has "slaved them" to some master so they can eat.  You are part of their problem.  Some are better, some are worse.  Some wear their slave collar well, others buck at every chance.  And those who think they have thrown their slave collar are often predatory.  Who is the master you ask?  Flesh.  We have biological needs and wants, we sell or rent (depending on a number of things) bits of ourselves, or more, to obtain those.  Like it or not, what I have isn't worth sale or rent.  But I am still a slave to food, fluid, and some other things, I just don't get to earn my way anymore.

I had, sort of, wondered if the meeting was coming up.  Nope, next week.  I at least knew what day it was, I just hadn't reconfigured my system data to know what day of the month it was.  I have been asked to do something for the meeting and I mean to do so.  Setting up the room, bringing refreshments, and such.  Nothing fancy, but I take it seriously.  It isn't quite possible to please everybody, but four types of liquid refreshments, a small plate of fruits, and some other nibblings should do.  It isn't supposed to be a meal replacement, just something that allows a minor snack.  I can do that.

Hmm, a few hours to wake up, another shower, then to simply air dry while I plot my escape from the dungeon.  I'll begin putting the chair together tomorrow.  Oh, I noticed the back area of my home might be used as a "cool well" or some such.  Yeah, I am making up terms for all I know.  But what I mean is, it is closed off, like an old porch.  But it has been fully upgraded to a part of the house.  It is now the wash area and the basement access.  So, at night, I am opening the windows in that area now, and closing them with at the due time.  I am experimenting with things, now that I have some balance to do so.  How to keep my home cooler, longer, more efficiently.  It is the sort of thing I would do professionally if I could, if at a steeper degree of complexity in the working world it will do for now.  I don't think the upstairs can be used.  But more, I don't always have the energy to trudge upstairs twice a day, open and close eight more windows, and remember to do that in a timely manner.  And, if I were to guess, it might even be that opening those in the day would be the thing...  I can't be sure, but that is how I think that would help.  Hmm, though maybe only if we had more wind.  The valley, while not quite stagnant, is not very breezy even really.  If I had more on the ball I would figure that portion out too.  Hey, my whole world, fighting and learning and practicum has been about observing patterns, making enough sense of them to utilize them to the advantage of whatever I am doing, then implement that to the best of my ability.  I can't quit that until I die, if when I get laid up I do end up more like a beached whale, that is not by choice!

Oh, hey, most of you wouldn't know this but... I've been posting at your sites and it hasn't been posting.  I can't do a thing about it though.  Looks like the system, for me, again, is broke.  I'm finally in health enough to go check for responses and... I'm not seeing my posts.  Aardvark, Sig, Aunty, Neo, Jean, and... all of you I normally visit and yak at?  Yeah, it's... not publishing my comments again.  And hasn't been for a while if I haven't been of a state of mind to notice.

Have yourself a fine day.  Keep cool, though, kiddies.  Life ain't fun when you cook.

Out like the big people!

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After a week or so of recovery, I was finely truly able to get out.  My friend was glad to see me, he had to get rid of his reloading contraband.  For a crusty old salt he might have been too open with the wrong people.  I can't fault him for that though, that is a good quality.  It's just too bad it isn't always appreciated.  Well, that and the fact that he smokes, never mind that he only does so out of doors.  Anyway, to make up for my negligence, I decided to bribe him with a free meal.  Not that that works, but... not that it doesn't.  Whether it works or not, it is all I have to offer and about all I can do since there are no cat houses around.  Ha!  Oh, don't get so serious.  He wouldn't be all that interested and I wouldn't offer such a treat, even if it was available.

But before dinner I went to Sam's Club.  I restocked what I think I remember using.  I hit some things a little extra hard, like beans.  While I love to cook my own beans from dry, the summer is not the time.  Further, I am not always up to a four to six hour cooking episode.  Canned may be salty, may have other problems, but... put a can or two in with a pound of frying hamburger, add cheese or sour cream or tortillas or whatever you like, and *bam* dinner, for two or three days maybe longer.  Love my beans.  While I was there I ran into the post mistress I like.  I spoke for a second outside the store.  But then, inside, ran into her again while I was looking at a new large/tall office chair.  She shared a little story about someone she recently helped out with a chair, I told her my bit about my current chair, and she assured me I should get it.  Now, I was only window shopping, pricing, and such.  What happened?  I ended up with a new chair.  Doh!  Never mind.  Too funny.  Women do that to us, don't they guys?  They don't even have to be "our woman".  We just have to like em' in some reasonable fashion.  So, I have a new chair and needed it.

I got everything in, then spent time trying to chill back down.  I can handle getting out for a bit now.  With the ac in the X and ac at home to come into, I can venture forth.  But it still bites me pretty hard.  I don't think it is just the weather being extra hot, I think I my illness is catching up to me in this particular way at this particular time.  Or even the heat is just adding that final touch to a bad time.  Now I need to get back in touch with medical and try to sort things out.  I am running out of medicines in a most drastic manner.  That... won't do.

Have a great night.

Alright boys and girls, time to get out.

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I told my friend I would be over a few days ago.  It just didn't happen.  I completely lost track.  He called today, and I had planned to go in today, so that works.  I took a shower last night, almost hoping I would get in then.  Another shower today and I am ready.  I knocked off some of the beard that was forming with the trimmers, but as is my usual anymore I leave a decent amount of stubble on.  Now to get dressed and going.  Oh, I best let the family that usually feeds me know that I will not be here so they don't have to fuss.  I need to remember that in the future too.  I... just would prefer to be fair about things.

The ac in the room is great.  This house must truly be built well.  Even when it hits well into the 90's the ac keeps the bedroom quite cool, which leaks into the rest of the house, and yet it doesn't run all that often or long.  That bedroom isn't in the stone part of the house either.  It must simply be very well insulated.

Time to get going.  I should do some shopping too.  Have a good day.

So darned cute, when they want to be.

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I think the girls knew something was up.  As I was preparing to exile them for the evening they became oh so lovey dovey.  Playing cute and nice to poppo.  Did I ever mention that I'm a softy?  Well, sometimes.  Don't test it.  It can be as close, being mostly a man, as testing God as you want to shave with.  Still, the girls pulled it off with flying colors... and behaved.  Bah!  Still woke up six hours later.  But I know it wasn't them.  I'll figure it out.

The cool has been wonderful.  I keep the room closed, and the ac on 70, until nearing bedtime, then I put the ac down to 66 if I can't tell that much difference.  Just having that one room cooler just cools the rest of the place enough to be easily livable.  I keep meaning to take breaks/naps, but that durned game I am playing is as bad as Evercrack (Everquest).  There is no pause, there are no long load times, quests can go on and on, and I have played three different toons through trying to get the game just right.  I am trying a female toon now, to see if they get an unfair advantage.  I think they do.  But... that is actually a part of reality.  Oh, you know better.  Don even look at me like that, Lucy.  She can't pick locks very well though, even with 100 in that skill (maxed).  Anyway, that game has me glued to it.  It'll be a while before I can ween off it.  Yeah yeah, but it is all I had to distract me from the heat, and it did, if the heat was tearing me up.  Good game if you don't want to mess with needles and heroin or something.  Gah!

Well, at least I have been cooking and eating a bit.  Not much else.  Still feel that overcooked feeling from the heat.  Headaches and almost a hot chill, if you know what I mean.  Probably dehydrated just a bit.  Working on that.  Hmm, I think I have pickle juice.  That might just be the ticket.

On to the rest of my day, or a quick nap.

Blasted cats.

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Not sure what is up with the girls.  They are used to not sleeping with me regularly.  I let them in sometimes, on cooler nights.  But when I need sleep or when it is too hot I don't let them in, which has been the case for a month or so mostly.  Since I put up the air conditioning, Sassy and maybe Sam have been bashing themselves on the door to get in.  I've offered to let them sleep with me but they don't want that.  My guess is they are used to me being awake so long that I feed them every six hours.  They wake me out of good sound needed sleep, banging on the door after only six hours or so.  So, from now on and for a while, when I go to bed, they go outdoors.  Until they learn not to do that.  I need extra sleep to catch up.  It seems if it isn't one thing it is another.  There are, however, always solutions.  Sassy doesn't like it outdoors so this should solve her problem pretty quickly.

My friend, it seems, is no longer going to be allowed to reload where he lives.  It is considered a fire hazard or something.  I think they are probably picking on him because he is a smoker, but that is really unfair.  He is one of the only smokers I know who never ever smokes in his apartment or home.  Seriously, never.  I've known him for years and in several apartments.  He simply doesn't smoke indoors.  But that is the way the prejudice goes, it is blind.  Still, he needs someone to get his powder.  Which I will do tomorrow.  I'm just not up to it yet and today.  If he can get to walking I will set his reloading station up upstairs for now, and let him reload here.  The problem is travel.  I really wish there was a transport from Logan to here, even once a week.  I simply don't get to town all that often.  I can't be counted on for that.  But every few weeks, I suppose, is better than never.  He loves to do it and it saves him some money... or at least is a good hobby to keep his mind attentive.

Me?  Still in recovery mode.  It isn't helping that the cats have been doing a good job of waking me every six hours or so.  That just isn't cool.  I'll see if my fix works that out.  If not I'll check into some cat repellants, air and noise systems that I have heard are very affective near doors.  To be fair, my changing sleep cycle probably does twist them up a bit.  There is very little I can do about that.  While wild and feral cats are used to fast and feast, domestic cants aren't.  Regularity and passivity is part of what makes cats domestic though, too.  Well, on to my day.  A wonderful one, with some cool going on.  My brain and body are slowly coming down out of that fevered state.  It takes time.  I do think I will add afternoon chillout naps to the routine, as well.  All good.

Be well.

Well, it sort of fits. And... it does make me feel all better, somehow.
[video clip gone]
Never mind.

Technology can be quite pleasant.

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Oh, sure, go off and live in those hills.  Live off the land.  Become a friend with the flora and fauna.  Zero emission, no trace, and whatever else there is out there to consider.  Me?  Not so much.  And, while if I do happen to figure out how to get out there into the hinterlands, I will use some of that, understand it is to both preserve what is there and to attempt to go unnoticed by any other yahoo out there, not to pretend to be a native.  And, of course, only to the extent that the modern world has given me the means by which to do so and within the borders of sane kempt right living.  Any other way is pure folly.

I slept, long and hard.  Needing to use the facilities once, otherwise I slept for a good... 18 hours was it?  Something.  And, yes, I needed that as much as I needed the cool.  I figure it will take me a week to shift my body and brain back to looking at trying to do anything else.  Who knows, I might feel fit enough sooner, and begin digging in on something, you never know.  I am just putting out the proposition.  I know I am terribly sleep deprived.  I also know heat has a way of beating you into the dirt in ways you simply can't fathom.  I do know that the ac has already helped the way a cool glass of water helps a man dying of thirst in the desert.  I needed it, it wasn't want.  While I can tolerate cold, so long as I can remain inactive, I cannot really deal with heat.  I used to have to, but that was then, this is now.  Let young men go sell their comfort in order to do good things and play with neat toys.  I like being just what and where I am, and it is getting better.

Well, we will see how things progress from here.  But for now, at least for the next two days, I am buttoning up and staying put.  I am enjoying the cool, letting my body and mind repair, and just hanging out.  Period.  Then again, I am not sure I have much choice, but it sounds better when it looks like I am putting my foot down.  Ha.

Cool much?

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Ahahahhahahahaha

Cool?  12k btu's of cool, baby!  I went to put the thing in place last night but ran into a snag.  My brain simply wasn't up to the tasks my muscles otherwise would have had no problem with.  The packing the company did was beautiful!  Well, if you... luck into it.  I didn't unwrap my present until I was pretty much at the spot of installation.  Why carry the extra weight?  Perhaps to make sure all parts and pieces would be right there.  Perhaps just because so shut up.  I do things a certain way, which... may vary.  Anyway, while unpackaging, the thing nearly unfolded itself.  While I was, at first, trying to figure out how to get an 80+ pound device out of a tight and tightly packed box I just happened to lift on the edges of the box.  With the strip tape gone, the sides simply came up and off.  Beautiful.  Masterfully well done, from a shoppers perspective.

Anyway, the thing had a bunch of parts and pieces that might have made all my efforts fruitless, but I couldn't make hide nor hair of a thing written at that point in a long hot day.  So, I put it all up, goofed just a bit more perhaps, then crashed.  Waking time isn't the best time for that sort of thing, either.  So, here it is, just after noon, and in the last hour or two I figured out what of their stuff would and wouldn't work, put my stuff and their stuff together, and *bamb*!  Right in the kisser, Louisa.  The weight was never as much an issue as (if I didn't suggest it, at all) I might have feared.  I really can carry 81+ shipping with one hand.  Getting it up into the window was zilch of a problem either.  And I had to do that a half a dozen times tinkering with this and that, all while making sure the "platforms" didn't slide one way or the other.  Easy, sneezy, breezy, beautiful, pig.  :p

I had to learn how the wood slats system went into the window, but that was easy enough when I had call.  I've looked at the thing and wondered before.  Now I know.  The company provided the perfect "catch", to provide structural hold and a bit of weatherproofing.  Only my "platforms" were allowing a huge draw.  Ah!  My mother, or lady friend, had created a rag bag when they were here.  Probably mom...  A bit of (very little) searching, and there it was.  I put those rags into the holes.  Good, for what they filled.  One more hole though, a big one.  Yeah, got that filled.  Batteries in the remote, plugged in (and reset as per instructions), a click, and... Poof.  I set it to 66, just for a while.  Oh, then the shade slats had to be reinstalled, if with a minor alteration.  Then the drapes back up, plus fitted to the new device so it's still dark.

I wish I could say, "If I knew it was going to be THAT easy...", but I can't quite say that.  It was easy, enough.  But there were so many small steps, there was some thinking, tinkering, and effort.  Mild as that is to many, that was... a man's man type of job for me.  And I am proud to have stubbed my toe at the base of the great mechanical engineering handy man mountain, if all I did was get to the base and stare up at the vast expanse of possibilities otherwise.  No, never to worry.  I got the cool going, the thing arranged, and did a lot of little tasks in there.  I didn't lose a finger, break through a wall, cut the power cord, or such either.  Pleased, little things, but... that's what I have to give, and rarely.  I just need to put the tools back.  Tomorrow, maybe.

Actually, I think the girls are happy too!  While we don't think of cats getting too hot or cold, and in a way they don't they just change their behavior until things change, they really were panting a lot lately, and going through water.  They don't like the noise but... who does.  It's the price, and an easy one give or take.  A few days or a week of cool, then I go to using the thing in the evenings.  Very very nice.

Good day.

Hoping for the best, planning on the worst.

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You know what that will usually get you, right? About half the time it nets you saved time and effort, half the time you get what you were begging for. Heh! This time? *face palm* No, just no way. I was mildly expecting a somewhat finicky cut and bit of minor work. Yeah, a cut to this length to this depth. I figured it would run me, given that it is me and I am way out of practice with anything practical, about 3 to 5 runs to get a template created for the second of two platforms. So, I went rough/rough the first cut. I did an eyeball (and pen) measure, then measured depth roughly, and planned to simply chisel out the whole of it to see how all of that would work. Some days.

As it turns out, that first rough shot was good enough, so two platforms were kicked out in less than the time to get my tools plugged in, set up, and out, not including tear down or setting up my sawhorses, and that platform. The sawhorses and a bit of plywood, without anything else, worked just fine for a bench. I didn't need to attach anything. So damned easy. And here I've been sweating for weeks, out of my mind in a perfectionists nightmare over... the ease of slop. Never mind. Now, I am all done in. The ac will not go in until I have time to catch my wind, but that should be by this evening. If I am too rung out from heat by then I will simply take a long shower to get my temps in order, then hit it. It will be done, now that the "hard part" is completed. Someone just shoot me? Meh, wouldn't work. I may not be bulletproof, but... God said no. Save your bullets. Just, next time I funk on junk, kick me. Won't hurt me, though be careful with your foot. I am dense in more ways than one. Believe it.

Hey, well, just wanted to share the news. You've all been sweating for me for... a while now. I thought it fair to let you in on the fact that ac is practically in. Odd, cutting then chiseling a few pieces of wood wore me out more than dead lifting the 81+packing ac into the other room then up into the window. And getting it out of the packaging will be the most testing of the the work packets involved with that assembly. What gives with that? Never mind. I hope you are cool! Later.

Today, I do believe, is the day.

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While I didn't get the trash out... hmm, might still be time so this will be brief... I do intend to get that ac in today, and running.  I might run it for a few days, or a week, to get some semblance of function back.  I do need to chill.  I won't take a shower, but I will dress, put on a baseball cap, and get to figuring things out.  Taking the last of the trash out before digging in, which means kitty litter change time.

I'm not doing any better today, really.  It is just that... it has been on my mind a while, the heat has a direct impact on my life, the game crashed... or... a conflux of events lead to me being at the point where I am about to get to it.  That is, simply put, all I get in this life.  But I take it with relish, and a bit of mustard if I may.  Hehe  Yeah, I like it here.  I think I'll like it in heaven, or even purgatory if I... miss the queue a bit.  Yeah, I need to work on that.  Getting visiting communion would help, for a while, till I can get back on my feet.

Well, it is time to get to it.  Have a loverly day.  If that fails, plan on one tomorrow.  And don't quite planning even if you never have another loverly day.  It's... always about hope.  Later.

Awake, on a cool morning.

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I think there is something else to the heat.  When I don't sleep well, something heat interrupts, I become additionally subject to heat.  It's a cascade effect.  Everyone has it, but those of us who are turtles and slugs... simply get hit worse.  No worries, at least I am young enough to survive it and in a place where, even within the week, I will have figured out a solution.  I have it, actually, it is simply implementing it.  What bothers me are those people who are too frail and poor and alone.  It bothers me greatly.  Then again, I can barely do what I need, there is little I can do for the others.  Well, prayer.

I am going to tinker a bit this morning, then, maybe when I close up the windows, I will get out of my pajamas and put on something a bit more social, and get to working on the window treatment.  I doubt if it will take an hour.  My guess is a saw horse platform will got together in less than an half hour, which is the first thing.  Will I get it cut just right!?  Not the first time.  I will undercut and just edge out.  How long will I have to tinker with the saw horses and plywood to make a platform?  Who knows.  On the good side, once I know something... I just know it.  Next time I won't have two projects, just one.  Oh, sure, seems quite simple.  And it is.  It is just all new and I live in fog.  Distances and complexity combined with newness all make anything seem... risky, untouchable.  How did I make it through some of the courses in engineering school?  Sleeping a month then studying a few days before a midterm, or final.  Who knows.  And I never know what I know so I never quite can be sure if I can do something, if I always seem quite able when it comes down to it.  An old man?  Yes, I have become a very old man in a rather young man's body.  Plus I think I will make it to be an old man on top of it.  Spooky, but... not... too.

Well, on to waking, then that task.  Have a good morning.

Ah well.

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Zombified, for the last few... while...  I ran out of tobacco a few days ago.  So, after suffering withdrawals for a relatively long time, I finally got to town today.  Of course, while getting ready to go to town I found a can of tobacco.  I simply thought I had used it already.  At least the last few days, until today, were cool enough.  Today seemed like it was murder hot.  Just to get that ac in...  Yeah, yeah, I know.  I guess I was born to suffer.  At least I can survive it.  Amazingly well even.  I just don't like it.  I actually pray that my suffering here helps someone in purgatory.  I have heard that it can do that.  Perhaps they just say that to try to make pain and discomfort more... amenable.  Perhaps they believe it.  Perhaps it is true.  After my experience there, if that is what it was and it did happen at all... I do hope it helps some poor soul, or dozen, get through that and on to the rest of their way quicker.

I have been doing bits and pieces.  Several loads of laundry have gone forward.  A little picking up has occurred.  Little things here and there, if nowhere near where I really want and need it to be.  Yes, the ac will help.  But just getting that in seems impossible at times.  Things have to be just so and I won't rush or short the task.  It has to be right.  It has to be by my hands.  It will happen.  I honestly think I might have it in tomorrow morning.  That IS the plan.

The girls are weird.  I wasn't sure I was feeding them right, for a few days anyway, so I started using the timer.  But... that wasn't their problem.  My game is stealing too much of my time.  And, yes, there is that.  So, I am trying to cut the gaming down, include them when I can into my life, and either pester them (in the most nice of ways) or chase or let them hunt me every few hours.  Yeah, they love their ogre.  Of course, I love to pester them when THEY are napping sometimes.  Payback and all.  They certainly pester poppo when he goes to bed.  Queen of the ogre, scratch and wake, let's check poppo's breath with our whiskers... lots of fun bedtime games!  Bwats!  Tsokay, as I said, payback is a pleasure. 

Hmm, on to bed.  I am absolutely beat by this heat today.  I enjoyed three or four days of relative cool.  It helped recharge a bit.  Maybe enough to do that one simple task.  Good night.

You know...

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While I grumble about my incapacity, I do realize that, setting my will and want aside, I am at the apex of human existence.  No, not healthwise, if that isn't quite as bad as it sounds in that it has proven to be quite non-lethal for all the hubbub surrounding the issue.  No, I mean, I am living... completely free and clear.  I make enough money, not working, to sustain myself easily, and even entertain some of my crazy and crazy like a fox notions.  While I may not be sitting on piles of gold, not a goal ever though anyway...  While I may not be wearing designer clothes (if some serious gear), which also is not a goal...  I am quite easily sustaining a mild, easy to live, life.  Why I want to be in the grinder God only knows.  Some people were made for it, I was one of those.  I would love to trade a perfectly healthy layabout for my position, given their perfect health.  Even at my age, what I could do with health is probably... almost otherworldly.  Oh, no, I wouldn't change the world, bring about world peace, fix cancer, save the earth from "X".  No, I would merely take what was at hand and make something of it.  A few people would know and respect my work.  And, yes, I would definitely have a wife and kids.

Still, I have what I have.  But I can't stop, sometimes, and just laugh my arse off.  Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth, but there I am. 

No, the ac is not up.  But I have gotten to a few things, hope to get to a few more things today, and we will just see. 

I have been enjoying Fallout 3.  Now, usually, I eat games.  But sometimes they are simply too big and they eat me.  This game has eaten me, so far.  I started out, as usual, not reading anything.  I just jumped in and played.  After messing up two or three major plays, after playing only, maybe, a fifteenth of the game, I decided a little research was due.  So, I started over.  And over.  Finally, on this last nearly quarter playthrough (not including side quests and tons of places to visit otherwise), I am getting better.  It's an easy rough game.  So many details, so many items to tend, so many things to do, no way to redo some things easily or naturally.  The game simply has no boundaries, and then you fail or win a situation or bonus.  It would be like one of the huge mmpg's, only for single player.  While it is laid back, the intensity comes in a few short spurts, but seriously enough to keep you (me anyway) engaged.  The one good/bad thing?  Load times are rather fast for this sort of game.  You never... rage quit from exhaustion combined with long load screens.  Yeah, I see why many makers add long load screens... as a sort of... nicety to us junkies.  :p  Still, I love the short load times as well.

Just... putting something out.  Be well.

Doesn't make sense.

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It's cold this morning.  I mean downright chilly.  But... the mechanical and electronic thermometers all say it is the same temp this morning that I was sweating at yesterday morning.  Huh?  And the swelling in my feet is gone, from water retention.  Getting out, just that short bit, might have helped?  I don't know.  All I know is that things don't really make sense because there are too many variables in play.

Like heat for example.  I have several things that affect felt temp.  Blood sugars, but that is now in check.  There is something else in my body that... I think Chinese medicine would call it chi.  Our medicine simply can't find the real problem though.  I would call it metabolic flux, due to heart issues, if I think the only cure would be a fully functioning heart.  As well, when I retain water a bit more on one day than another, that somehow either makes the heat worse OR makes me more vulnerable to any temperature extremes, while the term extreme is shrunk to just a few degrees outside of optimal.  And finally, if there might be other variables, the actual temperature.  Even that last is based on variables I do not completely understand.  Of course the water volume in the air has an affect, as done the intensity of the sun (angle of strike, hours behind clouds, who knows what else).  I simply can't keep track of all the variables at all times, so I can't know why one morning is hot and one is cold, the day after, at the same temperature.  Never mind.

Mentally I am not doing the best, regardless.  Medicine is being taken, mostly very regularly.  Food is being eaten at least daily.  But the heat is just a bit intense.  I did create the template for the base for the ac, and hope sometime today to cut and possibly chisel the pieces to fit.  It will be an easy task.  The idea of just putting in wood, without cutting it, and setting the ac on that, sounded good.  I just don't think it would be stable enough.  And I don't think the ac would handle a five foot drop well.  Still, I think this task will be done by days end.  Odd though, I think the felt chill of this morning is disabling me just as much as the felt heat of yesterday.  Ha.  What an absolute gas.  So, what may need to happen is a short nap.  Hmm, maybe some food first.

You know, the good thing about stocking up on foods, even just the shorter term stuff so far, is that if this type of thing lasts too long, I can still live fairly well for a short bit.  If I really can't get out for milk, I have several options.  I do have some food delivery as well.  A freezer would help with things as well as canning meats myself.  And, while many things seem impossible, and I don't seem always able to get to much, my guess is it is probably surprising, if you think about it, what I actually have done, given my situation.  Yeah, I pull off things by the skin of my teeth, but... in the end, does it matter?  I'll stick to it.  I have a method, just not always the means.  And yet I am moving forward. 

Good day.

Forgot the rest of the last post!

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Yes, still awake, yes about to go to town, yes I have measured out a rough template that I will attempt to cut/chisel when I return.  Milk, and whatever else I needed... oh, chew!  Was there any other reason to go to town?  I'm actually reading back in my blog, which is why I am still here, to find out what all I wanted/needed.

But I noticed I hadn't finished my first blog of the day.  Something about horror.  Right, that is regarding some of the games I play.  People are... idiots.  Not only do they play poorly, they also don't learn from it!  Oh, I make mistakes.  I even create a pattern with them.  I hate trying a "new way", if that way is significantly different from how I LIKE TO DO THINGS.  Actually, due to mechanical-intellectual interfaces, sometimes I can't do something an exact specific way.  But I can learn, adapt, change, to a degree.  And, mostly I do that without clues or hints.  Failure and success provide all I usually need.  But my goodness, there are people out there who are honestly too stupid and immature to... be morally allowed to comment.  Oh, let them play, but for heavens sake, take away access to places where they can simply create a whole area for themselves to write.  Sad?  Embarrassing (for them)?  Yeah, being a bit harsh.  You'll just have to trust me.  There are people who can and do type, can and do think, but who can't actually...  Make any sense of anything they perceive.  It's terrifying.

Later.

Amazed and horrified.

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I'll get to the title in a bit.  First though, just about how things are doing.  I woke at about 5:00 or 6:00, so I didn't get much sleep.  I set the alarms, once I woke up, to try and prod me out of the house and on to town.  I NEED a few things.  I set the alarm for 8:00, then 9:00, here I am at 11:10.  Yeah, well, I need a shower first, and then to get dressed.  I ought to at least fillet the whiskers to a degree, too.  And, I would like to get a 2x4 and simply mark out a rough 'cut here' guide.  Yeah, I think D.C. is right.  I really need to stop this hemming and hawing and just hit the fucking nail with the hammer.  Pardon, but... I've been dinking with this for too long, I am too hot, I need some real sleep and some decent cool.  I am, in short, annoyed.  Pardon the language, understand it comes from sentiment.  Oh, well, the good thing about going to town?  AC!  Plus, if when dressed and ready, I find myself in possession of a marked for cutting board, I will use the ac on the way home too, since I can almost be sure that the ac will be going in tonight.  Oh, I should stop for some sealing tape and paneling for the extra areas. 

Yeah, I best get going.  But, just a thought.  The last few days have been cooler, for as much as that is worth.  And I keep getting a vision of God, looking down, at me wasting the cool, doing a face-palm.  Yeah, I know it can't happen.  God simply doesn't do that.  A secular version of this would be a "perfect Fonz".  He is so cool, nothing flushes Him.  It's... more of a funny notion than a theological one.  Jesus though?  He walked as a human, He... might know the face-palm thing...  And you can't say He was "the perfect Fonz", He truly lost His cool with the money changers and I would guess that if some fool had picked up the rock when He suggested that the one with no sin do so... I think we would have seen a very temporarily angry Jesus and a very dead (though possibly then resurrected "client").  Never mind, mind playing...

Oh, right, on to town.  Good day.

Hmm...

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Not the best of things.  At 1:30 I am still awake.  I simply cannot cool off again.  I thought about heading into town, but after a spell of dizziness from the heat and the long hours up, I decided against that... at all.  I am completely out of tobacco and milk, so... I need to get in there.  Caught in a catch-22 though.  I need to cool down in order to gear up, yet by the time I have cooled down I need to sleep.  Now, in there somewhere, I need to figure out how to rig my ac into the window.  Yeah, and I can't see straight sometimes.

Whatever.  The house is cooling a bit, but it isn't very cool outside.  It is supposed to hit 54, and it may, but not until 5:00 or 6:00.  Still, there are things rumbling through that might keep it a bit cooler today.  Mostly it looks like mid 90's for a goodly number of days.  I'll just have to figure something out.

Good night, I hope.

Sleep!?1!

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Yeah, I could sleep.  I could go in, right now, and crash like I was... never mind.  I was thinking something rude... about you.  But I could go to bed without any problem.  The thing is, it is just... about... to.. cool.. down.  Just enough that I could open the windows.  If I go to bed now, the windows will be shut, and I will simply sweat through the sleep and wake to a stuffy hot home.  No, I will, somehow, stay up just a bit longer.  Not bad, really.  Four or five days ago I was going to bed at 6:00 and waking in the... around noon or so I think, at the latest.  Couldn't sleep through the heat.  Quite a change.  And very quickly for me.

I am cooking though.  The days are still brutally hot, for me.  I need to get that ac in.  When my body started the shift all of my plans were left on the drawing board.  I simply don't have enough energy remaining with this shift to even eat, let alone do something.  And cooking during the day is rough.  Though I would rather work through it then half sleep through it, then to wake when it begins to peek and have that as a "morning".  Still, because of that, nothing will go forward until I can get my head out of the oven.

Anyway, a few more hours, for the world to at least get even with the house, then I can open the windows so the house will be cooling as the world does, while I sleep.  That makes waking, and sleeping, a joy.  Good night... eventually.

Yeah? Well?

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Life is certainly a bit strange this summer. Finally having figured out how to make life slightly cooler here in the cave I haven't quite been able to set up the ac yet. See, it's not about want. It isn't about being lazy. It just is. Concentration, I would guess, is most of it. I don't understand it anymore than you do. I should be able to simply plan something, then do it, right? I mean, it isn't that physically demanding, I have the tools, if I haven't done this exact project before I have done many quite similar. So... why can't I just do it?

On the good side, my days and nights seem to be tipping back into their correct places. It is an ongoing project, one which I simply found myself partaking in. I didn't really choose it. Whether my body chose and began implementing it, or it simply reacted to the changes in temperature, I will never really know. My body is an interesting thing. It is mostly animal, with all that goes with it. While I can maintain a sort of moral control, at least up to some sort of stress test I haven't seen tested to date, I can't actually just tell it what to do. It is quite strong when it needs something. It can endure things I thought were lethal, or at least dangerous. Sometimes it is best to just let it do it's thing.

I've been playing a new computer game. Fallout 3, while dated, is rather entertaining. It is a nice change of pace from the last nearly dozen first person shooters. While it is still a fps, it is more a rambling quest based game, without the direct intensity of some of the other games. Exploring a 1950's USA, or two hundred years later, after a nuclear war, you fight, meet folks, do them favors for favors, and such. It is, however, quite a long game. And, my guess is, there may be nearly no end to it. The fighting mechanics in it aren't very good, either. But fighting, thankfully, isn't the main of the game, just something you have to do in order to do what you have to do... if you know what I mean. At least it keeps my mind active.

The cats have been banished to the outside. Sam for vomitting again, Sassy for excessive begging. Oh, not too long, just until noon, or another hour. It saves my sanity just a bit when one or both does what they know I would rather they not. With Sassy, she becomes... pretty close to violent sometimes.

I did make the corned beef and cabbage. It was, and remains, delicious. Why I not only like, but love, cabbage now, I could never say. I can't even say it's the flavor. It certainly isn't the texture, though for a boiled vegetable it does have a more solid texture, which I do like. It's more that my body seems to like something about cabbage. Carrots are more for color. Potatoes I have always loved, so all good there. It is pleasing to finally have gotten around to a home cooked meal. I did it early morning (like, 2:00). Yeah, it seems odd that I would be up at 2:00 while my internal clock is readjusting, but like I said, my body was stretching my days to make the schedule shift. So, when you think of day stretching in a more extreme manner, it makes sense.

Just... saying I am alive. And... kicking about just a bit. I'll keep trying. Never give up, never surrender (unless they serve really good chow). :p Good day.

I really hate when that happens, mostly.

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My body, having some limited cool in the night finally, and with a bit of control of the fierce of the day heat, has decided to switch my days and nights around.  Only, it didn't tell me.  It just went ahead and... started doing it.  If you have ever switched from night work to day work on the fly, you know that is about as much fun as nailing one of your fingers to a table.  Well, not literally, of course.  Still, they are in the same area, differing only by intensity.

In any case, I am in the middle of switching days back to nights for sleeping.  It isn't going perfectly, it will get there in a week or so.  Now, everything else I had sort of planned to get done in order to facilitate what is taking place has been tossed up in the air.  Too grumpy from both lack of sleep and discombobulation due to the shift leaves me barely able to even think about what to do, let alone how to get to it.  It is quite like my body has it's own will and way.  No, I think that is exactly what it is.  Sometimes I am just a tenant.  My will is not good, always, often.  Then again, I would guess that I still live merely because my body would not let me override it's wants, or needs really.  I am ignorant.  It may be too, but it is "dumbly functional".  It does what it must for reason I cannot fathom.

I went three days without food in this twist of schedule.  Oddly, it didn't hurt.  Sometimes it doesn't.  I broke fast with a large meal, probably what a typical family of four to six puts out for a hardy dinner.  It worked.  Dishes are finally soaking again, I am hoping to hit those tonight.  I am also hoping to put the brisket on, and have a dinner of that in the cool.  The way, it seems, my body is going about trying to shift days to nights is by staying up very long hours.  Eventually something gives, sort of like when you visit a chiropractor or something.  A little stretching, stress, and pressure, perhaps pain, then... *pop*  All good, if you believe in that.  It did help me last summer, though I have some... separate thoughts on why.

I still need to get that ac in.  So, tonight, along with the other things, I am truly hoping to get the template laid out.  I will not, as I first supposed, attempt to do anything fancy, like cut the wood form fitting.  All my plans center around simply cutting out a portion of wood in a box or rectangular form so as to fit snugly to the two window tracks it will cover.  Even that won't be easy, exactly, if it will be a lot simpler than trying to custom cut two tracks snug, plus create a half dozen grooves of various heights within those.  Now, to be honest, that probably isn't that hard.  But for a first time project keeping things simple is probably best, for my mind, so that I can even begin such things.  The world simply isn't digital, and to be honest, analog is frightening in that it is completely open to interpretation (along with constant change, everything from swelling wood to changing metal).

Ah, to wake up a bit more then figure out what will get done.  I need to hit town soon, too.  Milk, tobacco, and other foods and goods are running low or simply are gone.  Yeah, I'm right on all of that.  Right on it, boss.