Who knew?

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It's my what?  A call this morning I missed, another one in the afternoon I got.  Then a second one.  Otherwise I wouldn't have known.  The thing creeps up on me every time.  Women have hated that I can't remember when we met?  Hey, it took me 35 years to remember what that lady that raised me is called and I still can't remember this day.  Yeah, yeah, but it's almost true about my mom, sort of.

My brother called this afternoon.  To wish me well on the day.  He asked about a movie he has to review for his (re)education classes.  Asked about "A Beautiful Mind".  I filled him in on some things, including that most of the "spies" in the movie were part of the lead character's decline into madness.  Well, that and that the guy was going crazy but not because of work he was doing with the government, his own "genius insanity" thing, or anything like that, but because he had been caught and arrested for public restroom men's buggery.  Yep, that's... all there was to it.  In the 50's that actually meant something (or something bad).  He was probably let off lightly, for all I know, and because he was doing work for the gov.  Still, it... razzled him.  Some say he was a bit schizophrenic anyway, hard to tell.  If you believe in such diagnosis that is.  (I don't.)  Well, my brother sort of hung up on me while I was excitedly filling him in on what he hadn't been told.  I don't think he did it because of what I was saying, more that I was talking a hundred miles a second.  Talking about something I know a bit about AND (and mostly) getting a call from my brother.  Well, while he was driving his three women around.  I think it was all just too much for the poor lad.

He asked if I was feeling old.  I think I surprised him.  Truthfully.  I don't feel a day over 20.  My body may not do what it did when I was 20 but I really don't feel old.  I've always had aches and pains in minor ways, back then from stressing my body doing whatever kids do.  It hurts no more and no less today than it did then and I am just as good at passing most of it off now as then.  My heart doesn't hurt, nothing really bothers me.  My days and nights can get odd, but that has always been true if more so now I simply don't really notice it because I don't have external demands.  I am awake and then I am not for a while, and then I am up again.  No, I don't feel a day over 20.  How is that for being 46?  I'll take it.  And, like I have shown with women, I still have almost as much as I did when I was 20 that way too.  I actually tried to stay celibate between women, back when women were a regular on the menu.  I was about as successful then as now.  By the time I was 22 or 23 I was already in the condition, fully, that I am now.  I guess I have never known adulthood the way most do.  So maybe that makes a difference.  My brother didn't seem to... like that answer.  He has an extremely bad back, so he feels old, really old, all the time.  He is in pain all the time, which does age you, hard.  I suppose that I am not in pain I don't feel age.  Well, that and I've just drifted through time, sleeping up to two or three times what most do or even would.  I nearly slept a whole year at one point.

Yeah, well...  The girls were left outside most of the day until the afternoon.  I must admit I am tired of them begging for food every time I turn around.  They have been pretty good since I let them in.  I've fed them a couple of times and might one more time before I sack out, or not.  Being outside and having to fend for themselves puts things in perspective.  I needed it, a rest that is, they needed it to lend a touch of reality, all good.  Once in a while that will be the way it goes.

Have a good night.  Sleep well.

Some nights.

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Sleep was not available until between 3:00 and 4:00.  Given that I am trying to maintain a day schedule, I set my alarm for noon, just in case.  I woke at 9:00 or so though, on my own.  All good.  It seems such a simple thing, sleep, wake, rinse, repeat.  It just doesn't work like that for me, never has.  I really do think it is my system working at strongly varied levels due to inconsistent blood flow and such.  The medicine I was taking should have lowered my blood pressure and heart rate, the latter to 60 but didn't do either.  Oh, right, I had to back my medicine down, and am now off it.  Simply put I ran out, mostly.  I have a few weeks to a month of supplies, but until I can get in and get those coming for sure I wasn't willing to push it right until I was completely out then drop cold turkey... that can be harsh.  Yeah, yeah, I know.  Hmm, I might be able to call and set up an appointment yet today, or try. If it isn't one thing it is another.

Not much else going on.  The girls wanted out last night, they are still out.  It was good to have a 'beg free' morning though.  Sassy is ALWAYS hungry.  Sam can "get by" with being fed every three to four hours before she begins pretty serious begging.  I don't mind, and usually set an alarm to remind me, but sometimes...  Yeah, it gets old.  I hope they caught some mice.  Sassy is more into bugs, either through lack of skill or fear of bigger things?  I am hoping Sam can somehow teach her but that may not be possible at this point.  They aren't, precisely, friends if I think Sassy sees Sam as her mother.  Sam... holds no such love or interest... or perhaps that is how mother cats become when their kits grow up?

It's another sluggish day, but then I did stay up way too late.  I just could not unplug and shut down.  At least I am comfortable and basically staying fed.  The food bombing I get is very helpful.  I can see why I had more difficulty in the past.  You can't go without food for a week and make up for it in a few meals.  Feasting and fasting have their moments, but in limited amounts.  It's not a good lifestyle, if too it wasn't a choice.  And the incoming food has allowed me to add touches and my own meals.  I just can't really explain how much that helps.  I realize, as things are right now, I am just... waiting to die.  And it will be a long wait.  I hope to improve that though.  Tick-tock... but I only move just so fast.

Good day.

At least she called.

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Good show.  She called just a little bit ago to explain things.  I'll take her at her word.  It seems she had to do an emergency trip, didn't have my correct number as she had miscopied it anyway, and then her cellphone was dead and her car charger doesn't work so she couldn't, presumably, call the shop and get the correct number.  Well, could be.  That's... all I am saying.  So I proposed that she figure some time to do a lunch, there in Logan.  We will see if she makes plans for that.  Since I am, again, a day man, that should be fine in the shorter term anyway, though a day notice would be good.  You all know how my days and nights can get flipped in a heartbeat.  Still, that she called... it does make a difference.  In some odd way it really does.

I have decided, since regular soda doesn't seem to jack my blood sugars that I will include it in my diet.  No, not every day, or even every other day, just in case.  A couple of times a week, a couple of cans.  I love the stuff.  The diet stuff, and Splenda coffee is fine, but... it's just fluid.  No love there.  Coffee with sugar, on the other hand, I do love, but it's the same with regular soda in that I can't do it too often.  I will continue to monitor my blood sugar, but so far so good.  I know a woman who is blind and on dialysis three times a week from diabetes.  I may get to be in really bad shape because of my heart, or worse shape I should say, but I don't want it to be because I refused to watch my blood sugar.  I think she only makes it because she has the money to do so, and the will.  Though women have a severe ability to survive, something only very few males possess.  I think mine is better, but I am not sure mine is... purely mine... or anatomic...  Something else there, I sense.  Shotguns not going off, for example, has nothing to do with anatomical survival.  One of many examples.

I honestly think a woman, a wife, would do me a world of good.  Kids would add to it.  Oh, yeah, I'd be tearing my hair out often enough.  But... that is actually a good thing.  Rather than knowing I am on the edge of extinction and just waiting to die, I'd be busily HOPING for death.  *evil grins*  No, the time would pass much more quickly and fruitfully and well.  Even the bad times end up being quite a pleasure to remember... should you survive long enough.  You can trust me on this explicitly.  Far enough from even lethal levels of pain and those moments become something to ponder, chuckle about, remember.

I'm still not really kicking up into activity as I had hoped the ac might allow.  Then again I didn't completely expect that, just hoped for it.  And on days like today, when the outside temp just now was a mere 84 and it has been partially (?or seems like it?) overcast at times, I can barely get to what I normally do.  I nearly fall asleep playing my game.  I even took a nap.  It just... the lack of heat and sun or something.  While I am a winter man, I do better when miserable, within constraints.  I was made to be put in the grinder, the trap outnumbered, against the odds, surrounded, and then to kill and/or eat my way out.  Even if I complain about it...  I was made for "the shit".  Even in my condition I do better than most while in it, if I am not close to being up to original specs.

Dinner alone.

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Other than not having company when I thought I would have company for a meal, I am rather fine with it.  I noticed my money is a wee shy this month, my nest egg is ever so just on the edge, so... there was that.  I am a little disappointed.  If she didn't want to go, she could easily have said so.  Some women simply don't have the stomach for that it seems.  And she had a week to call, and my number for sure.  No hard feelings, she just probably isn't the one so I don't have much invested, it's the notion.

At least I got cleaned up, and I cleaned up well enough, for an ogre.  And I was there way early.  No, not to impress or for want, simply because I couldn't remember how long it took to get there.  It's been a while.  So I am pleased that I did my part and ended up with a pound of ribeye for the effort.  Couldn't eat it all tonight though.  I'm chalking that up to summer temps.  It does something to the digestion and basic ability to consume.  It was delicious and I did bring home the remnants for later.

I have a week to get refreshments for the meeting sorted out.  I have several sodas to take, and some insta-snacks.  I think I will skip on fresh fruit to be honest.  It's just that it has to be bought fresh, as in that day almost.  And much of it has to be processed, all of it at a minimum needs to be washed.  Several varieties of nuts, a few candy bars, some cheese/peanut butter filled crackers, and drinks.  That should do.  I don't know how many to expect which makes it all a bit tricky.  I have all but the beverages in stock, and keep all but lite beers on tap, or mean to.  So this first time shouldn't be too difficult.  One of the other duties is to set the room up according to specs.  I don't know the technical specs, but I have been to meetings so I can guestimate it and go from there, learning anything else that needs doing through the other officers and senior members.  All good.

Oh, I decided to give the lawn boy his games and system today.  I thought about it... why wait until school.  He will then have school, plus homework.  He will get to enjoy his games very little soon enough.  Because it was sort of a snap decision I hadn't charged it.  But... he was just fine with that.  The last few times he has been by he has mentioned that chair I bought.  Something about why isn't it together yet, and when am I going to... So... I enlisted him in helping me put it together.  That'll teach him.  I told him this is the trick to use on women, too.  When they nag about something, give them tasks to do to either help or set it up the task.  It buys time or makes the job easier, both really.  I don't think he thought that was all that funny.  He just wanted to go home and get his game going.  Hahaha!  Nope.  So, my chair is finally together.  Doom's deathchair is fully operational!  And it is wonderful to have a chair that has a solid back on it... not like the surfboard on a stick I had been using.  Nice.

Well, that's that.  Ah, right.  I have been, slowly, a cd or two a month, been buying some of that music I play here.  Nightwish, Tarja herself, Disturbed, that Siouxsie and the Banshees song that kicked me into gear for a while or the album it was on...  Slowly be surely, buying what I have been playing.  Then again,  I still wonder if part of the reason my comments are being blocked is because of showing the music here.  You would think they would just email me a warning or something.  Either that or some of the pages I comment don't tend to appreciate what I say and flag me?  Dunno.  All I know is I can't comment on most of your pages anymore, again.

Good night.

Life moves so fast.

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Just when I think I have things squared, I end up in a dome.  Anyway, it works out.  I was going to need to change my date around due to a meeting tomorrow night.  That has been rescheduled to next week.  Which is fine, and good to know.  Thankfully I hadn't rearranged my date.  She still might, I'm not sure how prompt she is about finding out what she has to do or informing me of things.  This is something to be learned.  Of course, if not this week, then another day or week will have to be chosen.  Still, I like it when things get scrambled a bit.  It makes it more exciting, somehow.  Yeah, okay, your right, I don't have much of a life.  *laughing*

I keep resoaking the dishes.  Eventually they will be done.  Further, I purchased disposable (some of it potentially reusable) bowls, "silverware", and I've had the plates for a while now.  I plan to make my life as... convenient as I can.  Oh, I'll keep the good stuff, probably with dust covers, for good or special meals.  Mostly though I will simply use disposable/reusable stuff.  My one caveat, for now, is that I NEED real glass to drink whatever out of, when a liquid container is required.  I love glass.  Thick, clear, heavy, hard core drinking vessels.  They don't have to be expensive, I think I bought my stuff at Walmart for a dollar or two per.  It just has to be glass.  No colors.  No real texturing.  Just... glass.  And clean glass at that, like what you would find at an upscale bar.  It's my way.

Oh, I didn't shave last night.  I best do that yet tonight.  No, I simply realized that standing there shaving for an half hour would make it so I couldn't get to town.  I have to make choices about energy use.  I can't choose the $3 dollar thing and the $5 dollar thing when I only have $6 dollars and no credit.  It is that simple.  Then again I thought the date was going to be delayed so I didn't press it.  Now, I did use the trimmer and took the stubble down to the near, so that part helps.  By the way, going to town last night was not the best idea if it was a good call.  I had to get some things and stumbled into a great deal on some of what I needed.  But it made it so that I could not get to sleep until 5:00 or 6:00 (?) this morning.  I heated up and could not shut down, ac or not.  Core temps just don't drop quickly with me, even if it is freezing.  I suppose I would have extremeties freeze off long before I actually even got to the point of hypothermia.  I am strange that way. Actually, I am not even sure about that. When others must wear hats or lose ears, I can quite easily go without and usually have to go without a hat or, again, even in freezing weather, risk overheating.

Not much else going on.  I'm going to try to hit it a little earlier tonight.  I can skip sleep, when I am doing better (and I am, mostly, if still not all the energetic), but doing it too often or too heavily will begin to erode my slim grasp on the world and all, quickly.  Sleep well yourself.

I really don't want to.

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Going to town can be fun.  And when things are needed, it can be just a job.  Things are needed.  But more I'm not really interested in going to town, leaving my home, or such.  Ah well.  I have something Tuesday, and possibly next Tuesday, and I need to get medical going again.  So I might as well get used to it.  And the sun is down, crowds have dissipated, so it should be an easier outing.  A trim, then a shave, a shower, and getting dressed, then going in.  I need to shave for the date anyway and it usually takes a few days for my face to normalize after a clean shave.  This time I won't be shaving at the last minute.  Yeah, it does make a difference somehow.

I keep losing weight.  Just a bit more but I am down to 263.  My usual is 275 to 300, give or take.  The wonders of the summer I suppose.  Well, and playing a game that is probably as addictive as crack!  Well, maybe not, but... you know what I mean.  I am nearly through.  I have one add and the last of the final mission.  Then I get to play it through, this time to perfection.  It is amazing what the first run teaches, then the second run makes sense if there are still huge mistakes.  My guess is you can't run a perfect game.  Too many details, especially if you are a collector and use a hack or three that creates odd limits.  In the final rendition, however, I don't need to worry about trophies, collections, or any of that.  I got started on collections because of the need to collect unknown items in order to build things in-game from blueprints.  Once I started I just couldn't stop.  Managing various amounts of everything to be found in the game, finding places to stow everything, it's... quite a hassle.  That alone added a third of the game time.  As well, I learned to sneak, and sneak well, in-game.  But that slows things down incredibly as well.  The last playing should be much quicker.  Less reviewing of game "advice", no collecting save a few items and weapons (strictly for use, getting rid of worse when better comes along), and a few other things.  I'll still have to ferry goods to the dealers, but now I know how to get a companion very early on to help.  That will cut the carry and sell time in half.  Though at some point there will simply be no need to sell, sooner rather than later without having to repair every weapon type and variant in my collection up to useful parts or full if unique.  Argh!  No, the last run through should be the culmination of much learning.  Did I mention addiction?  Yeah, well.  It's a matter of getting things right.  Some missions I won't even begin because the endings, either way, are wrong.  Like I said, I try to game like I live, within reason.

You know though, most game "advisers" generally go for the short and sweet.  They would rather you kill someone rather than work it out some other way.  They are metrosexuals, they are neutered males often (or might as well be), they are very young, and they don't know a thing about nuance, practice, patience, or such.  While I do find some of their data good, I find their ways and means to be poor to useless.  Well, the other thing is, these are game junkies who only have just so much time to play a game before they have to hit the next one.  Short cuts are all they know.  It's... probably what got them hired.  It's probably why they should be unemployed.  Ah, but for a perfect world.  *Cheshire Cat grin*

Sam seems to be seriously liking it outdoors.  What I had done as a punishment she is taking as a pleasure.  When I fed her outdoors during her punishment, she realized how good it was.  Now when I go to let her in, she just lets me know that food, and a water refill, would be good enough, thank you very much.  And so she gets it.  I don't know if she will come in at night.  It's up to her.

Blathering.  Later.  Or, actually, good night if a bit prematurely.

Grumpy?

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Why so grumpy?

Dunno.  The last few mornings have been heck.  I wake quite displeased with the world and all.  OFF with their heads, as the Red Queen would demand?  Probably.  An half hour, an hour, maybe two, and I am back to a bit better of a mood.  It's pleasantly moderate, temperature wise.  But it has been clouding over, I think.  Maybe that is it?  Maybe I am just sitting too comfortably and need to get going?  I don't know.  I just know *GRUMP*.  At least the girls have learned that when poppo is being a big baby that leaving him to stew in his own juices is the best policy.  If too, they will, eventually, come over and let me know they are there for me (and food) when I am ready.  :p  And that does help. You know though, the sun is starting to shine less, and beginning to slant. Perhaps that is all there is to it?

Not much going on today.  I just don't have a real plan yet.  I never did get to those dishes, so I may put those to a fresh soak.  I would like to make it to town to do some shopping later tonight, which means a shower and... well, an actual shave.  I figure if I am going to ask a woman out to dinner it behooves me to be clean shaven.  Should I ever find a wife I am under no illusions that other than a clean shaven man, until I train her and even then only from time to time, I will need to be whisker free.  Not that she will put her foot down, it's simply that women and whiskers don't mix really well.  Oh, yes, I know this.  At least I have learned to put the toilet seat down, automatically, and do it even without a women in der Nähe.  Actually, I sort of live as IF I had a woman here.  Gives me something to grumble about when all else is well.  Ha!  Oh, trash and maybe recycling will be put out, hopefully on my way to town.

Have a great day. 

     

Oh?

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It seems I will have to delay the date.  I have a meeting Tuesday at that exact time.  And I promised to be there, with refreshments, and at a station.  So... I will simply have to rearrange my date.  Then again, the date was a bit iffy as was so I don't mind.  I just hope I can contact her in time.  I just realized it this evening.

And about Ryan.  Yeah, I was surprised.  And, well, impressed.  Romney didn't pick the black female.  Perhaps that wasn't available.  Perhaps he is trying to shore up the conservative base.  He certainly didn't pick the easy way.  But he did pick the serious way.  It doesn't change a thing I think about Romney, that he is soft, that he is more liberal than conservative.  But the choice does, somehow, make a difference.  Even though it really doesn't.  The VP is a face.  There is no power there.  Although it could be a steppingstone TO the presidency for someone I would be happy with as president.  No, I'm not talking death.  While I don't agree, I am pretty sure, with much of what Mitt is truly about, I like him in the way I liked the Bushs.  Religiously all three are one off, though I don't hold that too serious as one off is... about as good as I will see.  The last, and maybe only, "religiously correct" president would not have gotten my vote and is someone I put in the ranks of destructiveness to this nation at the level of Obama, for his time (JFK if you can't snap it).  Along with Pelosi and the rest of the Kennedys, there are few political Catholics I have seen fit to give my vote to as a Catholic.  No, no, one off is as good as it gets.  Politically?  Realistically?  I suspect that, as the system exists today, a real conservative has no chance.  Not only would he be fighting the msm, the left, and all normal else... he would be being attacked and backstabbed by much of the "right".  Much of the Republican elite ARE socialists... old Democrats really.  The ones who thought communism was too far but can't stomach free trade, business and medicine without government interference.   Romney is a milder version of one of these.  That, as I said, is probably as good as it gets.  While I didn't care much for R. Paul, I liked where he was going.  I'm not sure if part of my dislike is media driven (from, as I mentioned, the left and the right), or whether it was his style and certain specific points.  Well, the cult-like feel of his adherents didn't help Ron either.  Not his fault(?) but there it is.  A bit of all of those I would guess.  Still, it would be good to see someone similar rise and rest the crown at some point.  We will see.

Oh, in a few words... good choice.  At least for a serious candidate wanting to send a peace offering to real conservatives.  A risky choice, if the talking heads have any truth in them.  But a powerplay at the same time.  Yeah, he gets kudos for that call.  If someone can pull it off, he can.  Then again, he's playing to a home team against the zombies.  It's his campaign to lose.  Mostly... probably.  We'll see.

Hey, time for me to hit it.  I let Sam in a day and a half (or two) early.  Sassy actually begged me to let her in.  Doh!  They gang up on poor old poppo!  Sweet dreams.

Stretching my days.

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It's not too brutal or anything, yet.  I should learn to back this down though.  I simply end up staying up far to late, or even early into the morning really.  While I can, with all other  factors managed, handle this occasionally and short term, it isn't in my best interest for any period of time.  Plus I do like a day schedule and I am on one again.  I get into a part of the game that I either wish to power through or I become fascinated with... or a bit of both.  I figure in another week I will have completed the game and all add-ons, including all of the side missions allowable given my decisions.  Then it will be time to run another character through to try and get the whole game... just... right...  Yeah, I know.  But I decided, after abadoning the first two game starts that, like with playing music, quitting and starting over only creates a bad habit.  You just play through, mark the mistake in your mind, and work on that part itself later or whatever.  Don't stop just because you made a mistake.  But I forgot.  You have to do the whole game to get that feel for when you try to do the whole thing right.  Weeks of data lost to fidgetry!  Then again, I didn't realize how immense this game was, either.  In one sense, it can be as short as a week or two of heavy play.  But if you do the side quests, find all (or most?) of the locations, and really work it, it can take upwards of nearly a month to play full on, more so if you never played it before.  I don't know how people with real jobs can play this game!  It would be like two hundred chess games one play a week.  Sure, you'll get there, eventually, but... You'd almost go half crazy in the interlude, especially at the higher levels of play and it would take forever(tm by teens).

Sam got kicked out of little Eden last night.  I caught her clawing my leg when I was asleep.  I think it was about food.  First, I feed the girls pretty well.  Sam doesn't get as much or she will simply chuck it.  She loves to gobble then blow chunks.  Poppo doesn't like this so much.  She doesn't care where or when.  Poppo, again, does.  Besides, while I seem to be oddly diabetic, I am.  And lacerations in my lower extremities worry me.  So, she has been banished for 3 days.  I will take food and water out to her, but she won't be let back in until that time is up.  No, she won't like it.  But she does know why.  I happened to wake right when Sam was doing it and Sam knew she was in trouble for it.  I don't want her teaching Sassy her bad ways, either.

Well, on to my day.

Overcast.

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Oh, not complaining.  When it is this densely overcast it is simply cooler.  The fans are all off and the ac isn't kicking in.  I slept quite well, perhaps even a bit too well.  I set my alarm for 9:00, just in case.  I had a feeling this morning would be tough after yesterday.  And it was.  I had to reset the alarm for 10:00.  Even then I almost just reset it or turned it off.  Intellectually I didn't want to do that, but the animal side was not as negotiable.  I woke on the wrong side of the bed to boot.  Still, I made it out at 10:00.  It took a good half an hour of wakefulness before the grumps retreated to a mild case of heat hangover, I suppose that is what I would call it.

I have set the dishes to a fresh soak and am eyeing the place to see what else needs done.  Or, not really what else but more what else I can knock out quickly if I can rise to the occasion.  Uhrm, there is a lot to do.  But it comes down to what I can do.  Work, for me, isn't about knowing it needs doing, it is about how to do it in such a way that I don't overreach.  It's quite a trick to even sweep and mop usually.  But that is what I have been eyeing.  That and picking up.  Laundry has almost been completed but nothing has been folded.  So... I go with wrinkled clothes until at least the next time I wash.  Ah well.  It's not like I am having to showcase being handsome or something though!  There is that.  *chuckles*

The girls got a small taste of my grump this morning.  And, for the most part, they let me alone to "enjoy it".  But they aren't at fault so I fed them shortly after I let them know I was grumpy.  I don't mind them leaving me alone but I also don't like them not getting fed fairly.  Grump or not, they do deserve to eat and more or less on a regular cycle.  Sam is already outside basking in the day.  She is just that type of girl, she seriously hates winter because she simply can't go out with snow and ice everywhere or if it is too cold.  Sassy is fat and happy almost always.  Chunky little girl, but quite a doll.  When she isn't acting on her feral instincts.  Hmm, sounds like the rest of us.  Ha.

Well, on to a bit more waking up.  How odd that as soon as I get used to summer I hit, mid-summer, a winterish day... and crash.  Oh, never mind.  I really won't ever figure it all out.  I will simply learn to live a little more surely through a tried and true simplicity.  That simplicity will be complex, just the least complexity I can manage.  Just like everyone else, only with some serious weak spots that others don't have.

Have a great day.

Never a break.

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I made it to town in time to load my friend on board and get to the hair cut appointment, but barely.  Even with a flat tire.  It seems there was a huge gash in the sidewall.  Now, I had to drive on it a bit, but I made it to a gas station immediately after realizing it was going flat, added air there, and it was gone in less than a block.  Somehow, through heavy duty SUV tires, while driving, the side of my tire was gashed.  And I am a road watcher.  There was nothing in the road.  I'm just not sure what caused that.  Could someone have tried to cut the tire but not quite gotten it done, then it gave out at some point?  That's the only thing I can imagine that would have done that.

I tried to change the tire.  I was stymied by how to get the spare off the hook.  I really need to figure the whole process out rather than wait for another such instance.  The tire shop couldn't fix the tire and didn't carry that size of tire.  They did put the spare on, and showed me how to get the spare off, and didn't charge me a dime.  Quite nice of them, really.  That was a Big-O shop.  And, yes, when I can, from now on, that is where I will take my business.  Went there last time, when I had a leaking valve.

Right now I am driving on the spare.  And, it works just fine, for now.  I would love to simply replace the flat tire, but that won't work.  With three old tires and one new, things don't work well.  Even two new and two old doesn't work.  So it looks like it is time for new tires.  Bleh.  I had hoped to stretch this out another 10k, but it just doesn't always work that way.  Oh, and the spare doesn't seem to gauge right.  I get a dummy light that there is low pressure in one of the tires, which meant a stop on my way out of town.  All were pressured correctly.  It must be that the spare doesn't have the device needed.  At least it is a full size spare.

After the haircut (I went with a flat top and, at the advice of my beautician, kept the tail), my friend wanted to go to the hardware store.  Tin snips, it seems, are needed.  He had asked to borrow mine, but I keep forgetting.  When I make it to town that is.  Oh, and I set up a date for next Tuesday, if her schedule is clear.  Barring that the Tuesday following.  Hey, it's something fun and new.

Have a good night.

Oh well.

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Not much done today.  Actually nothing was done.  I did, however, enjoy the day.  I mean it was a fine day.  I have had about a week of them.  All good.  I have been playing the heck out of Fallout 3.  I've almost gotten to the point where I might consider almost beginning to start doing the end projects.  Not quite, but close.  The game is massive, especially with five add-ons, on two of those have been explored (in a previous playing).  So, really, I have to finish the main game and finish the adds.  THEN... I get to start all over, this time setting out to create the perfect game.  *shrug*  It's what I do.

I did, actually though, call my mother today.  Just a feeling.  And she was rather down.  Some days she is in pain, arthritis.  Most days medicine works.  Today was a less than optimal day.  She wants to come out closer to Thanksgiving.  She has been worried about me being all alone on holidays.  I had to chuckle out loud a bit.  She hurts more for me than I do.  I don't even notice being alone on holidays... or... ever, really.  And, sure, I would like company, such as a wife, and more kids, I do just fine all on my own.  I do have some company, occasionally, when folks bring food.  If I can get my place cleaned up I will invite them in for a more proper visit.  And I do sometimes anyway.  I'm just not the lonely type?  I've been there, at times, more when I was younger.  Though some of that was dealing with other issues too.  Still, Thanksgiving it is. 

Tomorrow afternoon is time for a haircut, or two.  I should be quite ready to get out again.  I need milk as well.  A few other things would be nice also.  Getting out hasn't been so bad, with the car ac and some cool going on here at home.  I can deal with it, if not as often or well as when it is cool or even downright cold.  I do miss the winters, if I am getting to an age where after a while they can tend to drag on a little long.  Age does make one a little less... appreciative of extreme weather, in either direction. 

Have a good night.

Yeah, sure, you had to know it.

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While relaxing this last week, my cooking has slumped.  Not that I was doing much before, but at least enough for a one to two meals a day when the incoming meals were added, usually.  What I found myself doing was bad... raiding my candy bar midterm stash, and drinking the non-caffeinated but sugar filled drinks I usually keep on hand for the young man who does my yard.  I also stopped checking my blood sugars as I knew that must be terrible by now.  But, finally, after one last gulp and bite, I... checked.  Hahahaha  It was 103.  They want it below 120.  Go figure.  No, I don't plan to continue that though.  Just... probably not wise for a thousand and one reasons.  Still, it looks like I passed the test.  It really was Gatorade.

While shopping yesterday I looked for other sorts of treats.  There were snack bars and discreet bundles of various nuts, in bulk.  I mean, the bulk was that I was buying a large amount of small packets.  Peanuts, cashews, and snack bars.  They officially go into my larder, but I bought a second grouping for up here.  Oh, I'll still have a soda from time to time, and a candy bar.  I just don't want that to be even an everyday thing.  If for no other reason than that I am getting no nutrition per calorie.  Hmm, and I have still lost and kept another 10 pounds off.  Really, seriously, go figure.  Living on snickers, Squirt, and Seven-Up, plus four meals incoming, and my blood sugar goes down and I lose weight.  Way too funny.

Tomorrow I hope to finish the laundry.  Just a bit remains.  As well, I really need to hit the kitchen.  Barring that, I really don't have too much planned.  I can push but that usually nets me less than just... doing a little at a time.

The game system I promised has arrived, as have three of the games.  I spoke with the father tonight, and asked if I should give them (the parents) the games, and let them dole those out.  He said no.  He said if there is a problem, he will simply confiscate whatever needs taken.  Yeah, I like that.  As he suggested, he is not their (his children's) friend, he is their father.  And he will do what he has to do.  Absolutely fantastic.  Fair always?  Pffft.  The world isn't fair.  But it is good to have a relatively stable force to keep young ones on the right path.  That is where children learn most of what they ever will learn.  And they need to learn it young, and over and over and over again.  And he has pretty good kids to show for it, from what I can tell.  He has one rebel, but he is... at that age.  Gonna happen.  Still a good kid though, just unsure of what is going to happen, what changes are taking place, and graduation.  He'll do fine though I think.

Well, on to bed pretty quickly.  I have been doing close to 16 hour days with 8 hours of sleep, so it's mostly working.  All good.  Good night.

Not bad.

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I actually didn't want to push it and get out again today.  Seriously, I just got better.  Still, I had thought one of three things would force my hand.  It turns out all of them were smoke on the horizon without a fire to them.  I called to check on a haircut, as I had told my friend I would.  It turns out Thursday is the only reasonable next day for that.  So I set it up.  Since the meeting isn't until next week, I can shop for the beverages I will be taking when I next go to town, and the snacks can be bought right before the meeting give or take.  So, I get to stay in today.  But I did keep my end of the bargain on several things, so far, and I did let the people know who needed to know what they needed to know.

Today is just a chill day.  I think the cool well in back is helping.  But I am not sure it will, in the end, help all that much.  Time will tell.  On to goofing!

*Pop*

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Two days in a row I have made it out of bed, before 9:00, like an ice cube coming out the tray when everything works.  The girls are hungry first thing.  And I have not been in such a mood as to facilitate their desires.  So, I set the timer for an hour and a half.  They are then being taught to leave me the hell alone until I've had my morning waking time.  Some mornings are better than others, but these girls are spoiled.  I'm not going to mar them further.  I implemented this long ago, actually, but now that I am looking to be heading toward a regular sleep cycle again, it might mean something for them.

I plan to get to town again today.  I want to check on a haircut.  And while I do, I will check for my friend.  Further, I need to do a bit more shopping.  More meats, more milk, and there is something else.  I think I will be back for dinner time though, or that is the plan.  The foray into town today is meant to be short and sweet.  As any time in town really should be.  A town or city really, is just a bunch of people trying to get what they want, do what they want, go where they want, all when they would rather not (usually) be doing what they are doing but for their need to eat.  It is not a happy place.  A farmer may not always be happy to be awake or doing what he is doing but he is alone enough to be more congenial when he does happen upon another human face.  City folks... not so much.  While you are feeding them, you are another smelly human who has "slaved them" to some master so they can eat.  You are part of their problem.  Some are better, some are worse.  Some wear their slave collar well, others buck at every chance.  And those who think they have thrown their slave collar are often predatory.  Who is the master you ask?  Flesh.  We have biological needs and wants, we sell or rent (depending on a number of things) bits of ourselves, or more, to obtain those.  Like it or not, what I have isn't worth sale or rent.  But I am still a slave to food, fluid, and some other things, I just don't get to earn my way anymore.

I had, sort of, wondered if the meeting was coming up.  Nope, next week.  I at least knew what day it was, I just hadn't reconfigured my system data to know what day of the month it was.  I have been asked to do something for the meeting and I mean to do so.  Setting up the room, bringing refreshments, and such.  Nothing fancy, but I take it seriously.  It isn't quite possible to please everybody, but four types of liquid refreshments, a small plate of fruits, and some other nibblings should do.  It isn't supposed to be a meal replacement, just something that allows a minor snack.  I can do that.

Hmm, a few hours to wake up, another shower, then to simply air dry while I plot my escape from the dungeon.  I'll begin putting the chair together tomorrow.  Oh, I noticed the back area of my home might be used as a "cool well" or some such.  Yeah, I am making up terms for all I know.  But what I mean is, it is closed off, like an old porch.  But it has been fully upgraded to a part of the house.  It is now the wash area and the basement access.  So, at night, I am opening the windows in that area now, and closing them with at the due time.  I am experimenting with things, now that I have some balance to do so.  How to keep my home cooler, longer, more efficiently.  It is the sort of thing I would do professionally if I could, if at a steeper degree of complexity in the working world it will do for now.  I don't think the upstairs can be used.  But more, I don't always have the energy to trudge upstairs twice a day, open and close eight more windows, and remember to do that in a timely manner.  And, if I were to guess, it might even be that opening those in the day would be the thing...  I can't be sure, but that is how I think that would help.  Hmm, though maybe only if we had more wind.  The valley, while not quite stagnant, is not very breezy even really.  If I had more on the ball I would figure that portion out too.  Hey, my whole world, fighting and learning and practicum has been about observing patterns, making enough sense of them to utilize them to the advantage of whatever I am doing, then implement that to the best of my ability.  I can't quit that until I die, if when I get laid up I do end up more like a beached whale, that is not by choice!

Oh, hey, most of you wouldn't know this but... I've been posting at your sites and it hasn't been posting.  I can't do a thing about it though.  Looks like the system, for me, again, is broke.  I'm finally in health enough to go check for responses and... I'm not seeing my posts.  Aardvark, Sig, Aunty, Neo, Jean, and... all of you I normally visit and yak at?  Yeah, it's... not publishing my comments again.  And hasn't been for a while if I haven't been of a state of mind to notice.

Have yourself a fine day.  Keep cool, though, kiddies.  Life ain't fun when you cook.

Out like the big people!

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After a week or so of recovery, I was finely truly able to get out.  My friend was glad to see me, he had to get rid of his reloading contraband.  For a crusty old salt he might have been too open with the wrong people.  I can't fault him for that though, that is a good quality.  It's just too bad it isn't always appreciated.  Well, that and the fact that he smokes, never mind that he only does so out of doors.  Anyway, to make up for my negligence, I decided to bribe him with a free meal.  Not that that works, but... not that it doesn't.  Whether it works or not, it is all I have to offer and about all I can do since there are no cat houses around.  Ha!  Oh, don't get so serious.  He wouldn't be all that interested and I wouldn't offer such a treat, even if it was available.

But before dinner I went to Sam's Club.  I restocked what I think I remember using.  I hit some things a little extra hard, like beans.  While I love to cook my own beans from dry, the summer is not the time.  Further, I am not always up to a four to six hour cooking episode.  Canned may be salty, may have other problems, but... put a can or two in with a pound of frying hamburger, add cheese or sour cream or tortillas or whatever you like, and *bam* dinner, for two or three days maybe longer.  Love my beans.  While I was there I ran into the post mistress I like.  I spoke for a second outside the store.  But then, inside, ran into her again while I was looking at a new large/tall office chair.  She shared a little story about someone she recently helped out with a chair, I told her my bit about my current chair, and she assured me I should get it.  Now, I was only window shopping, pricing, and such.  What happened?  I ended up with a new chair.  Doh!  Never mind.  Too funny.  Women do that to us, don't they guys?  They don't even have to be "our woman".  We just have to like em' in some reasonable fashion.  So, I have a new chair and needed it.

I got everything in, then spent time trying to chill back down.  I can handle getting out for a bit now.  With the ac in the X and ac at home to come into, I can venture forth.  But it still bites me pretty hard.  I don't think it is just the weather being extra hot, I think I my illness is catching up to me in this particular way at this particular time.  Or even the heat is just adding that final touch to a bad time.  Now I need to get back in touch with medical and try to sort things out.  I am running out of medicines in a most drastic manner.  That... won't do.

Have a great night.

Alright boys and girls, time to get out.

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I told my friend I would be over a few days ago.  It just didn't happen.  I completely lost track.  He called today, and I had planned to go in today, so that works.  I took a shower last night, almost hoping I would get in then.  Another shower today and I am ready.  I knocked off some of the beard that was forming with the trimmers, but as is my usual anymore I leave a decent amount of stubble on.  Now to get dressed and going.  Oh, I best let the family that usually feeds me know that I will not be here so they don't have to fuss.  I need to remember that in the future too.  I... just would prefer to be fair about things.

The ac in the room is great.  This house must truly be built well.  Even when it hits well into the 90's the ac keeps the bedroom quite cool, which leaks into the rest of the house, and yet it doesn't run all that often or long.  That bedroom isn't in the stone part of the house either.  It must simply be very well insulated.

Time to get going.  I should do some shopping too.  Have a good day.

So darned cute, when they want to be.

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I think the girls knew something was up.  As I was preparing to exile them for the evening they became oh so lovey dovey.  Playing cute and nice to poppo.  Did I ever mention that I'm a softy?  Well, sometimes.  Don't test it.  It can be as close, being mostly a man, as testing God as you want to shave with.  Still, the girls pulled it off with flying colors... and behaved.  Bah!  Still woke up six hours later.  But I know it wasn't them.  I'll figure it out.

The cool has been wonderful.  I keep the room closed, and the ac on 70, until nearing bedtime, then I put the ac down to 66 if I can't tell that much difference.  Just having that one room cooler just cools the rest of the place enough to be easily livable.  I keep meaning to take breaks/naps, but that durned game I am playing is as bad as Evercrack (Everquest).  There is no pause, there are no long load times, quests can go on and on, and I have played three different toons through trying to get the game just right.  I am trying a female toon now, to see if they get an unfair advantage.  I think they do.  But... that is actually a part of reality.  Oh, you know better.  Don even look at me like that, Lucy.  She can't pick locks very well though, even with 100 in that skill (maxed).  Anyway, that game has me glued to it.  It'll be a while before I can ween off it.  Yeah yeah, but it is all I had to distract me from the heat, and it did, if the heat was tearing me up.  Good game if you don't want to mess with needles and heroin or something.  Gah!

Well, at least I have been cooking and eating a bit.  Not much else.  Still feel that overcooked feeling from the heat.  Headaches and almost a hot chill, if you know what I mean.  Probably dehydrated just a bit.  Working on that.  Hmm, I think I have pickle juice.  That might just be the ticket.

On to the rest of my day, or a quick nap.

Blasted cats.

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Not sure what is up with the girls.  They are used to not sleeping with me regularly.  I let them in sometimes, on cooler nights.  But when I need sleep or when it is too hot I don't let them in, which has been the case for a month or so mostly.  Since I put up the air conditioning, Sassy and maybe Sam have been bashing themselves on the door to get in.  I've offered to let them sleep with me but they don't want that.  My guess is they are used to me being awake so long that I feed them every six hours.  They wake me out of good sound needed sleep, banging on the door after only six hours or so.  So, from now on and for a while, when I go to bed, they go outdoors.  Until they learn not to do that.  I need extra sleep to catch up.  It seems if it isn't one thing it is another.  There are, however, always solutions.  Sassy doesn't like it outdoors so this should solve her problem pretty quickly.

My friend, it seems, is no longer going to be allowed to reload where he lives.  It is considered a fire hazard or something.  I think they are probably picking on him because he is a smoker, but that is really unfair.  He is one of the only smokers I know who never ever smokes in his apartment or home.  Seriously, never.  I've known him for years and in several apartments.  He simply doesn't smoke indoors.  But that is the way the prejudice goes, it is blind.  Still, he needs someone to get his powder.  Which I will do tomorrow.  I'm just not up to it yet and today.  If he can get to walking I will set his reloading station up upstairs for now, and let him reload here.  The problem is travel.  I really wish there was a transport from Logan to here, even once a week.  I simply don't get to town all that often.  I can't be counted on for that.  But every few weeks, I suppose, is better than never.  He loves to do it and it saves him some money... or at least is a good hobby to keep his mind attentive.

Me?  Still in recovery mode.  It isn't helping that the cats have been doing a good job of waking me every six hours or so.  That just isn't cool.  I'll see if my fix works that out.  If not I'll check into some cat repellants, air and noise systems that I have heard are very affective near doors.  To be fair, my changing sleep cycle probably does twist them up a bit.  There is very little I can do about that.  While wild and feral cats are used to fast and feast, domestic cants aren't.  Regularity and passivity is part of what makes cats domestic though, too.  Well, on to my day.  A wonderful one, with some cool going on.  My brain and body are slowly coming down out of that fevered state.  It takes time.  I do think I will add afternoon chillout naps to the routine, as well.  All good.

Be well.

Well, it sort of fits. And... it does make me feel all better, somehow.
[video clip gone]
Never mind.

Technology can be quite pleasant.

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Oh, sure, go off and live in those hills.  Live off the land.  Become a friend with the flora and fauna.  Zero emission, no trace, and whatever else there is out there to consider.  Me?  Not so much.  And, while if I do happen to figure out how to get out there into the hinterlands, I will use some of that, understand it is to both preserve what is there and to attempt to go unnoticed by any other yahoo out there, not to pretend to be a native.  And, of course, only to the extent that the modern world has given me the means by which to do so and within the borders of sane kempt right living.  Any other way is pure folly.

I slept, long and hard.  Needing to use the facilities once, otherwise I slept for a good... 18 hours was it?  Something.  And, yes, I needed that as much as I needed the cool.  I figure it will take me a week to shift my body and brain back to looking at trying to do anything else.  Who knows, I might feel fit enough sooner, and begin digging in on something, you never know.  I am just putting out the proposition.  I know I am terribly sleep deprived.  I also know heat has a way of beating you into the dirt in ways you simply can't fathom.  I do know that the ac has already helped the way a cool glass of water helps a man dying of thirst in the desert.  I needed it, it wasn't want.  While I can tolerate cold, so long as I can remain inactive, I cannot really deal with heat.  I used to have to, but that was then, this is now.  Let young men go sell their comfort in order to do good things and play with neat toys.  I like being just what and where I am, and it is getting better.

Well, we will see how things progress from here.  But for now, at least for the next two days, I am buttoning up and staying put.  I am enjoying the cool, letting my body and mind repair, and just hanging out.  Period.  Then again, I am not sure I have much choice, but it sounds better when it looks like I am putting my foot down.  Ha.