.
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Oh, thankfully, a literal one. I have some doubt we will get much rain from it. If it rains. But that isn't what is wanted. A little reprieve from the sun is the thing. With the sun blocked I escape the sense of heat. It's that radiation that seeps in even through my sleep. It has been getting cool in the evenings the last few nights, which has also offered an extra bit of easement. And, I suppose as the heat levels go down, I am able to get more cool in here at night. When it is hot like that it is as if the world has a fever and I am very sympathetic. Still, I can always hope for something crazy, like an inch of rain. You never know. Better if it rains where it will be collected but as a beggar I take what I can get.
Sleep was good but it was a bit of make-up sleep. It is somewhat difficult to drink a lot of water, as is really needed, in the heat. Simply the volumes you have to take in... your body isn't used to that much water. A Gatorade-type mix in some of it would help, but that can get messy. I think they make powder drink mix straws, that you can either dump into your mouth, or perhaps even drink through so as not to mix it with all your water? I'll be looking at those. I can try a few out in the runup. Look, the big things are vital, as are the little things. How great is vacation if you have to return home to recuperate?
I may not get to as much as I hope, then again I doubt if anyone will. My guess is those who try to get to everything they want will end up burned out husks, possibly even hating the event. Like a kid actually let loose in the candy store, they sour themselves on it. But I think I will be fine there. I really do.
I've been reviewing my health condition. Yeah, I really shouldn't even be able to live alone. You read prognosis suggestions, most don't discuss those in my condition. You'll hear bright cheery (if honestly just hopeful) things from doctors, then the caveat... for those with mild to moderate CHF (congestive heart failure). While my heart condition is responding to medicine, it isn't exactly out of the woods. I'm not even yet to "moderate". At the pace of healing it could be another three to six years before that occurs, assuming the pace continues unabated. I understand more, now that I am awake, why my doctors think I'm a freak. They do recommend exercise... for those in the lessor stages of the illness. They don't suggest or proscribe it for those at my level because... we usually can't exercise. My doctor has not only signed off on exercise, but even weight lifting for me. Lung problems are common with those in my condition while even when I had edema filling my lungs, the guy testing me (a typical city type lab tech, though to, mind you) was amazed that with my blockage in place (now gone, if only 15-20%), that still left me with more lung capacity than he has in health. The eye thing, in spite of diabetes on top of it all, baffles them. They simply don't understand. The numbers don't add up to what they are seeing in front of them. Oh, I'm not advocating ignoring, or slighting the condition. I'm just saying... I'm like an Olympian for my condition, given my condition.
Sure, the heat got to me. But for a week, other than in the confines of my bedroom, if I could still feel the heat seeping in, the coolest it got was probably 80 for a few hours. That will get to anyone. On top of, initially, not drinking enough water to cover for it or sleeping well. BMan won't be that severe, with nightly respites, consciously drinking more, and adding salt replacement into the regimen, which I have started working on and will continue and expand. I'll be more active, but it won't be heavy work. Still... I have some prep yet to do.
Actually, after re-reading some things and digging deeper, even I am a little taken aback by how well I am doing. I have literally met men with right between mild and moderate CHF who can barely function. I, like the doctors I have to guess, have difficulty putting the pieces together. They simply don't fit. It is part of why I have such flights of fancy... I am one. A living, breathing, actionable one. If in my little weaksauce way. Can't bench 550 anymore, can't swim three miles in an hour three times a week still. But just that I am breathing is a minor thing, and that I am living alone and gardening and some other things? It causes some worry, now as understanding seeps in. But I won't let that get in the way of doing what I can. Not now.
Later.
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Some do have it worse.
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I was looking for something about my sleep and exhaustion. I saw the title to this, so decided to watch. Okay, mine isn't fatal, and I do get some relief from sleep, or even rest when that is all that is available. But the sense, to me, is as if I had not slept. It comes and goes now, but for the first 22 years of my illness it was as if I had gone to bed at 20:00 (8:00 pm) and waken at midnight, at best. Perpetually sleep deprived, I have wandered through life. I have had many lovers in that time, made it half way through engineering school, even worked up to benching over 300 pounds and swimming three times a week. None of it lasted, of course. Moving out here was... a bit of a chore, but obviously I did it.
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I was looking for something about my sleep and exhaustion. I saw the title to this, so decided to watch. Okay, mine isn't fatal, and I do get some relief from sleep, or even rest when that is all that is available. But the sense, to me, is as if I had not slept. It comes and goes now, but for the first 22 years of my illness it was as if I had gone to bed at 20:00 (8:00 pm) and waken at midnight, at best. Perpetually sleep deprived, I have wandered through life. I have had many lovers in that time, made it half way through engineering school, even worked up to benching over 300 pounds and swimming three times a week. None of it lasted, of course. Moving out here was... a bit of a chore, but obviously I did it.
When Buddhists are killing mad...
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You know there is a problem. And the problem isn't with the Buddhists. Hmm... I guess the West is just numb with dumb. I had a friend getting his ph. d. in something silly or other. We discussed this. He told me about his muslim friends and I laughed at him. I simply told him they weren't his friends. The first chance they get to create enough of a majority, or if he gets in their way, or if they want his spot for one of their own, or even if the opportunity simply presents itself or they feel like it, they would cut his throat, literally or figuratively. Even Buddhists know it. I made it perfectly clear that they are not welcome hereabouts. Called him an idiot too. He didn't take it well. *grins* If he survives he'll get over it. At least he finally did buy a shotgun, with a little pressure from an old friend. Stupid but not crazy I guess. I wonder if he bought slugs, as I also suggested? My favorite. Even works for bear, as well as any other firearm anyway, assuming you hit the blasted beast.
If you are too lazy to go over... no worries, I understand sometimes, lately especially. It is short, but the highlight was this little quote.
“You can be full of kindness and love, but you cannot sleep next to a mad dog,” Ashin Wirathu, a spiritual leader of the movement and very popular figure in Burma, said of the country’s Muslims, whom he called “the enemy.” He told the New York Times, “I am proud to be called a radical Buddhist.”
Personally? I would call him a realistic man who wishes for himself, his family, his faith, and his nation to live. Nothing radical there at all. Or even Buddhist. Still, I'll let him use his own words, in peace.
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You know there is a problem. And the problem isn't with the Buddhists. Hmm... I guess the West is just numb with dumb. I had a friend getting his ph. d. in something silly or other. We discussed this. He told me about his muslim friends and I laughed at him. I simply told him they weren't his friends. The first chance they get to create enough of a majority, or if he gets in their way, or if they want his spot for one of their own, or even if the opportunity simply presents itself or they feel like it, they would cut his throat, literally or figuratively. Even Buddhists know it. I made it perfectly clear that they are not welcome hereabouts. Called him an idiot too. He didn't take it well. *grins* If he survives he'll get over it. At least he finally did buy a shotgun, with a little pressure from an old friend. Stupid but not crazy I guess. I wonder if he bought slugs, as I also suggested? My favorite. Even works for bear, as well as any other firearm anyway, assuming you hit the blasted beast.
If you are too lazy to go over... no worries, I understand sometimes, lately especially. It is short, but the highlight was this little quote.
“You can be full of kindness and love, but you cannot sleep next to a mad dog,” Ashin Wirathu, a spiritual leader of the movement and very popular figure in Burma, said of the country’s Muslims, whom he called “the enemy.” He told the New York Times, “I am proud to be called a radical Buddhist.”
Personally? I would call him a realistic man who wishes for himself, his family, his faith, and his nation to live. Nothing radical there at all. Or even Buddhist. Still, I'll let him use his own words, in peace.
Ah, that might be it.
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The second to the last time I was at the eye doctor I was sent up to the actual clinic. I was told this was because I had diabetes. They tried to send me up last time but I refused. They wanted to look deeper so that they could make sure there were no changes. They looked in, then had me do a test. They had me do it again, and again. They wanted me to do it one more time, asked if I would I refused. Beyond seeing more of the flashes than they expected, even at the fastest flash rate with the greatest randomness, I now think there was something else. The speed of my pressing the button to let them know I had seen it.
It started out with one doctor. He called over an intern. I ended up having four medical types looking over the paperwork, test results, and in my eyes, in awe. Another doctor and intern I believe. Yes, I suspect, for an old dead guy, I'm a bit more than they anticipated. You just can't imagine having doctors look at you like... I don't know how to put it. In disbelief? Like comic geeks finding a first edition Super Man comic for a quarter at a garage sale or something. I won't let them send me upstairs anymore. Things like that bother me. I also refused to be a part of their DNA program to. Make no mistake, they will do what they want anyway. But if they get caught, people will go down hard. (The information, if found worthy, will be quietly stored then sent out to be studied at some future time, however, make no mistakes. The world has changed. Or... not... depending if you believe there was a truer time in America, or the world... a questionable proposition, but possible.)
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The second to the last time I was at the eye doctor I was sent up to the actual clinic. I was told this was because I had diabetes. They tried to send me up last time but I refused. They wanted to look deeper so that they could make sure there were no changes. They looked in, then had me do a test. They had me do it again, and again. They wanted me to do it one more time, asked if I would I refused. Beyond seeing more of the flashes than they expected, even at the fastest flash rate with the greatest randomness, I now think there was something else. The speed of my pressing the button to let them know I had seen it.
It started out with one doctor. He called over an intern. I ended up having four medical types looking over the paperwork, test results, and in my eyes, in awe. Another doctor and intern I believe. Yes, I suspect, for an old dead guy, I'm a bit more than they anticipated. You just can't imagine having doctors look at you like... I don't know how to put it. In disbelief? Like comic geeks finding a first edition Super Man comic for a quarter at a garage sale or something. I won't let them send me upstairs anymore. Things like that bother me. I also refused to be a part of their DNA program to. Make no mistake, they will do what they want anyway. But if they get caught, people will go down hard. (The information, if found worthy, will be quietly stored then sent out to be studied at some future time, however, make no mistakes. The world has changed. Or... not... depending if you believe there was a truer time in America, or the world... a questionable proposition, but possible.)
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Your personal alternative music D.J.?
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For tonight. I'm digging up tunes I have found that I liked, if they didn't fit the or a particular theme or notion, or quite right. Well, assuming I otherwise liked them. Sometimes I run through hundreds of songs and videos looking for... just the right ones. Sometimes I find the pieces as if by magic. Oddly, but my search parameters more often than not lead me astray, but a chance viewing of something that just looks interesting will find what I was looking for. Rarely directly. One link leads to another to another to another. When I find it I have often forgotten what I was looking for until it hits me like a hammer. It's a fun game though.
This group starts off light, continues mostly light, by my standards, then hits a bit more of the heavy rock. Enjoy or not, not my problem.
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For tonight. I'm digging up tunes I have found that I liked, if they didn't fit the or a particular theme or notion, or quite right. Well, assuming I otherwise liked them. Sometimes I run through hundreds of songs and videos looking for... just the right ones. Sometimes I find the pieces as if by magic. Oddly, but my search parameters more often than not lead me astray, but a chance viewing of something that just looks interesting will find what I was looking for. Rarely directly. One link leads to another to another to another. When I find it I have often forgotten what I was looking for until it hits me like a hammer. It's a fun game though.
This group starts off light, continues mostly light, by my standards, then hits a bit more of the heavy rock. Enjoy or not, not my problem.
Problems commenting on your blog. Yes, you.
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They disappear.
If I'm not commenting at your blog it might be because I have but you aren't seeing it. Check your spam folder. Even comments to my own blog, by me, are being put into the spam folder. Personally I think some "lib" has filed a complaint and this is how Google bans people. Insidiously, it starts (creating) "building" a spam file, while most people don't even notice. Eventually they can claim that a lot of someone's comments are spam (a condition they created), then shut them down.
This is why people don't trust the government right now. That is how it works. It is why people don't trust liberals. Which is the public face of the government we have. When they are wrong, so can't debate, they file complaints, create a file, then attack, if usually on some non-related, often fictitious account. The IRS and even FBI files, are just some examples. Something they create. Google is liberal, and plays with and by those methods. Weak sauce, but it's all they have since they are wrong politically, morally, ethically, socially. It is what they are though.
So, check your spam boxes and see if, or how many, of my posts are in there. Don't want me to post comments, tell me. Or if you are a typical lib, just leave them there. Show your true colors. I won't know, but you will. No worries, eventually it will be your turn. What is it you do or write that is not liberal enough? Just remember, you are never liberal enough and liberals who 'think wrong' are held out as even greater examples. *cough* Paula Dean *cough*
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They disappear.
If I'm not commenting at your blog it might be because I have but you aren't seeing it. Check your spam folder. Even comments to my own blog, by me, are being put into the spam folder. Personally I think some "lib" has filed a complaint and this is how Google bans people. Insidiously, it starts (creating) "building" a spam file, while most people don't even notice. Eventually they can claim that a lot of someone's comments are spam (a condition they created), then shut them down.
This is why people don't trust the government right now. That is how it works. It is why people don't trust liberals. Which is the public face of the government we have. When they are wrong, so can't debate, they file complaints, create a file, then attack, if usually on some non-related, often fictitious account. The IRS and even FBI files, are just some examples. Something they create. Google is liberal, and plays with and by those methods. Weak sauce, but it's all they have since they are wrong politically, morally, ethically, socially. It is what they are though.
So, check your spam boxes and see if, or how many, of my posts are in there. Don't want me to post comments, tell me. Or if you are a typical lib, just leave them there. Show your true colors. I won't know, but you will. No worries, eventually it will be your turn. What is it you do or write that is not liberal enough? Just remember, you are never liberal enough and liberals who 'think wrong' are held out as even greater examples. *cough* Paula Dean *cough*
Another night of cool I think.
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I woke an hour ago. It felt like I had slept too much but I don't think so. Actually, if any thing, I was just a bit light on sleep. That usually isn't a problem unless it's too frequent. My guess is the heat of the day simply invaded my sleep. It can do that. The temp, it is suggested, only reached 89. I know when I was headed to sleep it was warming, to me, fiercely. After 100's though, 89 is mild. Not sure what the cranky body is about. Then again, this is the waking type of pain that dissipates quickly. Hmm, might have been thrown as I was expecting my friend to call when he wanted to go shopping. He never called. My phone was right there, on, charged... Not sure what happened. I'll call him tomorrow. Maybe waiting for a call in my sleep threw off? Bleh, I hope the discomfiture passes soon.
The clothes on the line were dry. I thought it would take longer for jeans to dry. In and folded. Hmm, one load was left in the dryer. An half hour longer would have gotten me to see to that but I didn't have it left to me. I've been dreaming. Dreams along the lines of the song in the fire haiku post. I am merely a watcher. I wonder if anyone else realizes that the dark words are words sung to... maintain dignity, or play the part. There is much there to consider. The roar of the mighty mouse. My dreams weren't about her, or such. Can't remember exactly. But character studies that have to be considered. Literal interpretations fail. One has to know street people, and many other types of people, to be able to put the pieces together, from what is seen. Broad, warm, fuzzy, with notes of dark and reality, sometimes gritty. That's all I can remember. We all pay a price for what we do, who we are, and getting what we want. Many don't realize it, think they are subject to the whims of others or fate. Some of us know. It comes down to choices, even for me. Have no doubts. Then again, what others might think are my choices... well, they miss the point. In actual physical life I have fewer choices than I present. My choices are just as real though. Using or not what I have and choosing wisdom when I can see it. If you make it to your best destination you will know all.
While the notion some might get from that last haiku is a desire to own a woman for her fleshly appeal, that isn't it. Neither, I think, for the singer or dancer, but certainly not for me. While reviewing the poems, and the video, I caught myself looking for what is in the flesh. While the body is alluring, for many women, I need to touch... the spirit. I need to know if that is broken, or more how. Some broken spirits have to be avoided. Whether they have chained themselves to their art, drugs, hatred, or even herself, and how deeply and strongly. Is the damage reparable. Who is this woman, really, truly. Does her flesh and spirit match. Odd things, I suppose. But after the flesh passes muster, then the real search begins. Much beauty is skin deep. For many that is enough. I've had enough of that to pass. Hollow. Of course, we are all merchants, but are we selling a ride or the whole ride. Strong, smart, beautiful, handsome, wise, graceful, we all have our selling points, and weaknesses. In it for the moment or in it for life. I've tried both, only one successfully. Would like to change that.
Hey, yeah, blathering. Do that as I wake, think. Dreams probably being spit out, or being created? Later.
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I woke an hour ago. It felt like I had slept too much but I don't think so. Actually, if any thing, I was just a bit light on sleep. That usually isn't a problem unless it's too frequent. My guess is the heat of the day simply invaded my sleep. It can do that. The temp, it is suggested, only reached 89. I know when I was headed to sleep it was warming, to me, fiercely. After 100's though, 89 is mild. Not sure what the cranky body is about. Then again, this is the waking type of pain that dissipates quickly. Hmm, might have been thrown as I was expecting my friend to call when he wanted to go shopping. He never called. My phone was right there, on, charged... Not sure what happened. I'll call him tomorrow. Maybe waiting for a call in my sleep threw off? Bleh, I hope the discomfiture passes soon.
The clothes on the line were dry. I thought it would take longer for jeans to dry. In and folded. Hmm, one load was left in the dryer. An half hour longer would have gotten me to see to that but I didn't have it left to me. I've been dreaming. Dreams along the lines of the song in the fire haiku post. I am merely a watcher. I wonder if anyone else realizes that the dark words are words sung to... maintain dignity, or play the part. There is much there to consider. The roar of the mighty mouse. My dreams weren't about her, or such. Can't remember exactly. But character studies that have to be considered. Literal interpretations fail. One has to know street people, and many other types of people, to be able to put the pieces together, from what is seen. Broad, warm, fuzzy, with notes of dark and reality, sometimes gritty. That's all I can remember. We all pay a price for what we do, who we are, and getting what we want. Many don't realize it, think they are subject to the whims of others or fate. Some of us know. It comes down to choices, even for me. Have no doubts. Then again, what others might think are my choices... well, they miss the point. In actual physical life I have fewer choices than I present. My choices are just as real though. Using or not what I have and choosing wisdom when I can see it. If you make it to your best destination you will know all.
While the notion some might get from that last haiku is a desire to own a woman for her fleshly appeal, that isn't it. Neither, I think, for the singer or dancer, but certainly not for me. While reviewing the poems, and the video, I caught myself looking for what is in the flesh. While the body is alluring, for many women, I need to touch... the spirit. I need to know if that is broken, or more how. Some broken spirits have to be avoided. Whether they have chained themselves to their art, drugs, hatred, or even herself, and how deeply and strongly. Is the damage reparable. Who is this woman, really, truly. Does her flesh and spirit match. Odd things, I suppose. But after the flesh passes muster, then the real search begins. Much beauty is skin deep. For many that is enough. I've had enough of that to pass. Hollow. Of course, we are all merchants, but are we selling a ride or the whole ride. Strong, smart, beautiful, handsome, wise, graceful, we all have our selling points, and weaknesses. In it for the moment or in it for life. I've tried both, only one successfully. Would like to change that.
Hey, yeah, blathering. Do that as I wake, think. Dreams probably being spit out, or being created? Later.
A bit, but nap time.
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It always takes more time than I suspected and I am running slower as well. The dishes, however, were more work than anticipated. There is something special about dishwater that has sat for... too long. A stench that has to be worked out. A fresh wash, a new dishrag and the old one probably to be thrown, another soap soak, with vinegar, now a soak in just hot water and vinegar. But the smell is gone from the dishpan and dishes at least. Laundry was being done in there as well. Three loads through, one more in the wash and dryer. Most of what will go out on the line is hung. Jeans, shorts, a sweater, basically the heavier stuff. I enjoyed the towels my mother line dried, it makes them rougher but seemingly more absorbent?
I didn't get to planting or hoeing yesterday. Neither will I get to it today. I also didn't get the plumbing in the kitchen sink set back up. With the dishes tended, I won't be dealing with a major stink when I do get in there though. Ah well. Oh, but the laundry that isn't drying was either folded or hung. Another night like last night, however, and I think I'll be back on track to do some serious work again. That one cool night helped in ways I simply can't explain. Like the breath of air that allows a whale to dive miles deep? Something. But I have to have that. Several deep breaths of cool would put things back to rights.
A nap, though, shortly. After the last load is finished. I told my friend I would be in town today, and I plan on it. My phone is charged, and will be right beside my bed. I'm hoping mid-afternoon will work. I did get a shower in, but another wouldn't hurt, just to moisturize a bit extra. Best check on the laundry and wind down.
I'm not sure about my last haiku poem. I am not even sure it makes sense, or... something. When watching the video the poem just wrote itself so... I just left it as it is. I have found some sense to it for myself, but if it doesn't work for you I do understand. Oddly, it, and the first, seem to mean the most to me personally, if I am not sure they are the best. Later.
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It always takes more time than I suspected and I am running slower as well. The dishes, however, were more work than anticipated. There is something special about dishwater that has sat for... too long. A stench that has to be worked out. A fresh wash, a new dishrag and the old one probably to be thrown, another soap soak, with vinegar, now a soak in just hot water and vinegar. But the smell is gone from the dishpan and dishes at least. Laundry was being done in there as well. Three loads through, one more in the wash and dryer. Most of what will go out on the line is hung. Jeans, shorts, a sweater, basically the heavier stuff. I enjoyed the towels my mother line dried, it makes them rougher but seemingly more absorbent?
I didn't get to planting or hoeing yesterday. Neither will I get to it today. I also didn't get the plumbing in the kitchen sink set back up. With the dishes tended, I won't be dealing with a major stink when I do get in there though. Ah well. Oh, but the laundry that isn't drying was either folded or hung. Another night like last night, however, and I think I'll be back on track to do some serious work again. That one cool night helped in ways I simply can't explain. Like the breath of air that allows a whale to dive miles deep? Something. But I have to have that. Several deep breaths of cool would put things back to rights.
A nap, though, shortly. After the last load is finished. I told my friend I would be in town today, and I plan on it. My phone is charged, and will be right beside my bed. I'm hoping mid-afternoon will work. I did get a shower in, but another wouldn't hurt, just to moisturize a bit extra. Best check on the laundry and wind down.
I'm not sure about my last haiku poem. I am not even sure it makes sense, or... something. When watching the video the poem just wrote itself so... I just left it as it is. I have found some sense to it for myself, but if it doesn't work for you I do understand. Oddly, it, and the first, seem to mean the most to me personally, if I am not sure they are the best. Later.
It is started.
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Dishes are soaking, and should be cool enough to mess with by now. One load is through the wash, part of the first wash is in the dryer the rest will go on the line after I take a shower... which is waiting on dishes as I decided to fuss with them in the tub. Just... trust that I am simply attempting to be efficient and work within my parameters. After the dishes, then a shower, I will load up some of the bigger pots to be cleaned. I am hungry as a bear. There is a roast thawed but it might be a bit... out of season, if you know what I mean. It just happens. I used the rest of the meat I thawed, and I will check it just in case. If it is salvageable, I will simply grill it while I am tinkering on other things. Low and slow with a turn every half hour, until it... smells right, mostly... two, maybe three hours.
It is generously cool tonight. They say it is 57 with 59% humidity. I don't know what that feels so cool, almost cold. Then again, if as usual, I am running around with just shorts (real shorts). No shirt, no shoes, if some service. This is the first time I have felt cool, or sort of sensed it, since... I can't remember. While the ac cools the place, or more the bedroom, I still usually have that underlying sense of heat. Even when sleeping. It is wonderful. I do need this, once in a while.
The song from the movie, the one they use in the trailer... I just... wanted to hear that a little more closely, learn more about it. What is kicking around in my brain I have no idea. Just... You have as much idea as I do, if you have a lot less to work with. You get to see some things, without the context or backdrop and history. I think I would prefer to keep it that way were I you. Heck, if I were me. And I do keep it that way, mostly, when I can.
Later.
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Dishes are soaking, and should be cool enough to mess with by now. One load is through the wash, part of the first wash is in the dryer the rest will go on the line after I take a shower... which is waiting on dishes as I decided to fuss with them in the tub. Just... trust that I am simply attempting to be efficient and work within my parameters. After the dishes, then a shower, I will load up some of the bigger pots to be cleaned. I am hungry as a bear. There is a roast thawed but it might be a bit... out of season, if you know what I mean. It just happens. I used the rest of the meat I thawed, and I will check it just in case. If it is salvageable, I will simply grill it while I am tinkering on other things. Low and slow with a turn every half hour, until it... smells right, mostly... two, maybe three hours.
It is generously cool tonight. They say it is 57 with 59% humidity. I don't know what that feels so cool, almost cold. Then again, if as usual, I am running around with just shorts (real shorts). No shirt, no shoes, if some service. This is the first time I have felt cool, or sort of sensed it, since... I can't remember. While the ac cools the place, or more the bedroom, I still usually have that underlying sense of heat. Even when sleeping. It is wonderful. I do need this, once in a while.
The song from the movie, the one they use in the trailer... I just... wanted to hear that a little more closely, learn more about it. What is kicking around in my brain I have no idea. Just... You have as much idea as I do, if you have a lot less to work with. You get to see some things, without the context or backdrop and history. I think I would prefer to keep it that way were I you. Heck, if I were me. And I do keep it that way, mostly, when I can.
Later.
Friday, July 5, 2013
Sleep interupted.
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.
After just a bit of sleep, the young man who mows the lawn knocked. He is young, so I like being awake when he is here in case there is a problem. Good thing today. The lawnmower blade kept loosening. I can tighten it without issue, but I'll have to figure out what the real problem is. It loosened three times today. *chink, clang, bang* It reminded me of the vehicle in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, only it didn't take me anywhere fantastical, fly, or even float. I'll have to work on it. So, instead of going to bed at O'morning thirty, I didn't go down until about 13:00, which means I didn't wake until about 21:00, so no gardening took place. No problems, mostly. I did show off my garden, and what watering has done for my lawn, while moving the hoses the helping to pick up sticks. I don't want him chopping up a branch and getting little or big splinters. Yeah, I remember mowing at that age... Sticks? What sticks? Lucky I never got impaled by some of the logs I tried to mow myself. *grins*
Friday is it? Time is flying. I need to get on some things. I have an appointment coming up with cardio. I am going to ask for a return of an old medicine that seemed to work. I am also going to ask for a bit of an allowance to help me get to more swimming. I am doubtful about either, but should I get either it would be a boon, both could mean a huge difference. We will see. Especially now that the weather looks to be going back to a more normal range, in the 90's. I am sort of stuck, but I think I can work my way around this before long. Gah! I hope so. If a little down time, while still keeping up on some things, has been a minor and pleasant escape, it is getting old, as it does.
Hmm... might have to tinker tonight. I actually feel cool enough to tempt tending a few things... setting dishes to soak in spare sinks, setting some laundry to wash then maybe just hanging them outside, and getting to the main, the kitchen sink plumbing. If that goes well, then actually finishing the en suite water part, at the least, and toilet install if I do. Yeah, I know, but... yeah. *shrug* I know. Later.
.
After just a bit of sleep, the young man who mows the lawn knocked. He is young, so I like being awake when he is here in case there is a problem. Good thing today. The lawnmower blade kept loosening. I can tighten it without issue, but I'll have to figure out what the real problem is. It loosened three times today. *chink, clang, bang* It reminded me of the vehicle in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, only it didn't take me anywhere fantastical, fly, or even float. I'll have to work on it. So, instead of going to bed at O'morning thirty, I didn't go down until about 13:00, which means I didn't wake until about 21:00, so no gardening took place. No problems, mostly. I did show off my garden, and what watering has done for my lawn, while moving the hoses the helping to pick up sticks. I don't want him chopping up a branch and getting little or big splinters. Yeah, I remember mowing at that age... Sticks? What sticks? Lucky I never got impaled by some of the logs I tried to mow myself. *grins*
Friday is it? Time is flying. I need to get on some things. I have an appointment coming up with cardio. I am going to ask for a return of an old medicine that seemed to work. I am also going to ask for a bit of an allowance to help me get to more swimming. I am doubtful about either, but should I get either it would be a boon, both could mean a huge difference. We will see. Especially now that the weather looks to be going back to a more normal range, in the 90's. I am sort of stuck, but I think I can work my way around this before long. Gah! I hope so. If a little down time, while still keeping up on some things, has been a minor and pleasant escape, it is getting old, as it does.
Hmm... might have to tinker tonight. I actually feel cool enough to tempt tending a few things... setting dishes to soak in spare sinks, setting some laundry to wash then maybe just hanging them outside, and getting to the main, the kitchen sink plumbing. If that goes well, then actually finishing the en suite water part, at the least, and toilet install if I do. Yeah, I know, but... yeah. *shrug* I know. Later.
The movie I was looking for was found, watched.
.
.
I saw a trailer of it the last time I was in the theater. I could not remember the name, just bits and pieces. Why now? Who cares. It is a tin-man version of Hellboy, I suppose one could say. It even includes things about the heart, a pet tale additive for me, of course. A creature created, or recreated, for a set purpose, who is left with choices that seem impossible. Some things must, eventually, face the facts that... we are different. While I may seem warlike, and really... am, it is never about war, combat, or such, mostly. It is about doing what is right clean over my own inclinations. Books, poetry, science, romance, being an island, if I had been left to my druthers. Oh, no worries, even I miss that point from time to time. I certainly hunger for that which I seemingly was designed, programmed, or both.
.
I saw a trailer of it the last time I was in the theater. I could not remember the name, just bits and pieces. Why now? Who cares. It is a tin-man version of Hellboy, I suppose one could say. It even includes things about the heart, a pet tale additive for me, of course. A creature created, or recreated, for a set purpose, who is left with choices that seem impossible. Some things must, eventually, face the facts that... we are different. While I may seem warlike, and really... am, it is never about war, combat, or such, mostly. It is about doing what is right clean over my own inclinations. Books, poetry, science, romance, being an island, if I had been left to my druthers. Oh, no worries, even I miss that point from time to time. I certainly hunger for that which I seemingly was designed, programmed, or both.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Knocking at the door at 22:00?
.
.
Oh, I suppose it could happen. What with the festivities, who knows why someone might want or need to stop in, if the time made it unusual. I heard the knocks right through the headphones. I took off the headset and stepped over to the door. A few more knocks? I opened the door to...
Someone must have spent a fine nickle. I noticed them earlier when moving the hoses, and enjoyed them really. I suppose I was surprised they were still going off and that they were that powerful. A face full of pretty and sparkly was worth answering the door to see. All good here. There were many folk letting them off. It did make for an extra pleasant night to move hoses around. *boom* *bang* *pop, pop, pop, CRAckle*
Oh, right, the steak... well, I ought to turn the water off as I get dinner going. I sort of lost track. It is easy to do. Good night, most likely.
.
Oh, I suppose it could happen. What with the festivities, who knows why someone might want or need to stop in, if the time made it unusual. I heard the knocks right through the headphones. I took off the headset and stepped over to the door. A few more knocks? I opened the door to...
Oh, right, the steak... well, I ought to turn the water off as I get dinner going. I sort of lost track. It is easy to do. Good night, most likely.
It may not be a perfect lawn yet.
.
.
Bits and pieces, low and slow, but it is what I have. Who knows, in three or four years I might actually get to goats. Strange, silly to most modern sensibilities, but... proactive considering my condition and situation. If it is all you can do, do it! Later.
Trees sure can complicate watering a lawn. A bit of a trick but nothing a bit of thinking and tinkering doesn't solve. A half hour more, then I move the side sprinkler, and the main ones as well. I over watered into the area I will be planting tomorrow. Looks like I need to do more weeding while at it. Every time I go out to look over the plants though, I do just a bit of hand weeding to top things off. I still can't keep completely on top of it all, but... Not too bad yet. Just to keep on top of it to a degree, I hope. Odd how gardens grow on you? *smiles* I am truly enjoying it, even if I don't end up with even a pepper or tomato or ear of corn. Though I must say, I am beginning to suspect I will get a little something for my efforts.
.
(in the beginning, when I moved in and for the first two years)
[these pictures are just examples, mind you]
My first two years, here, though, my lawn looked like a weed patch. A dead weed patch by August. Beside being a draw for wild critters and a fire threat, it was just plain ugly. Now, I couldn't get on top of mowing. Simply it was and remains too much work. The heat stress of it was a bit much. The neighbor had a son he thought might be up to the task. I know it is hard on him, as well, but he likes the extra income. Now I have taken over watering. I might be able to pay him a bit more for mowing. Look, it's got to be worth his time. With me watering, that cuts into his time, if it does wonders for the lawn. Green, mostly. I hit areas that need it more, I move things around, and I water more frequently. It is a fight but one I am waging as I can. A year or two of this, more seeding this fall, and maybe I will have a real lawn in a year or two. I best begin saving up for either a riding lawnmower or at least a powered push mower for when Jacky Paper grows up and doesn't want to work for beans... unless he is planning to go 'into the business' rather than getting some other more full time job. Difficult to know.
(not this bad, but patches I have to keep up on)
The new plants are phasing in and out of health. But they all did, when first planted. I have extras even yet, for any that die. Saturday is going to be busy, as beside taking my friend shopping I may be planting. Though I could do that tomorrow instead. I have the last of the peppers to put in. I need to thin the turnips now. They are truly ready, just not today as it is too late and watering takes priority in the shorter run. So maybe some planting and thinning tomorrow. If I don't finish it all, then more work on that Saturday. As for arranging my sleep, that shouldn't be too difficult, as flexible as that has been lately, mostly, I think.
(goal, I'm 2/3rds the way there, maybe)
Small things, little things, nearly daily things, added to feeding the girls and making sure they have water. Incrementally growing capacity through demand. As things are looking, I am more seriously thinking about getting the chicken coop cleaned and ready for chickens next spring. That will mean, however, work on a completely enclosed confinement. I do believe I will just extend it from the coop then off to the side/back. It will have to be fully enclosed as we have hawks big enough to take full grown chickens, and critters that can climb and jump. The only reason cats make it around here is that they can climb, hiss, and if need be do some shredding themselves. Not an easy, or even probably tasty, treat. I would think small dogs would be easier to take? And tastier! Yum!
I wasn't up long then back to bed.
.
.
Probably not going to do that again, I think I overslept which brings around aches itself. It rained sometime in the night, and again sometime while I was asleep today. I don't know how much rain we got but it couldn't have been all that much. I think, out here, the only way to know, would be to put up a rain gauge, which I have been meaning to do. I will be going in Saturday. My friend wanted to go shopping today, but I am just waking. He has something tomorrow, so Saturday seemed the next best time. Hmm... I wonder if he would want to go a bit later?
A rain gauge, several hoses, and perhaps three more sprinklers, plus putting those checks into my account, is all I need. He usually just goes for groceries, but a stop at one of the farm implement stores, that happens to carry firearms and ammunition (when it's available) is a place he likes to stop as well. Wait, they close by 19:00, and might not even be open today. The only place open today is probably Walmart... though things have changed since I was a kid, living in small towns. I haven't really paid attention in decades because it usually doesn't concern me.
Then again, I need to get the watering going. But I don't want to overwater. I best stick to Saturday. The high, today, was only 88. It is down to 81 now, which means it is a very cool day. A pleasant break from a week or so of 100's. I actually think what shut me down was the cloud cover. Funny how that works. I keep wondering about that. At first it seemed like a vulnerability. The thing is, I am much more awake, when I am awake, than I have been for a long time. But the depth of consciousness is more fragile. So, while it is a vulnerability, it is a weakness created through a greater general strength. You can't be almost dead and have your cake and eat it to. I am almost impossibly well for my condition as is, so I won't complain too much about a few frailties.
I did happen to thaw a ribeye. Dinner in a bit, I suppose. I wasn't thinking about the 4th, it just happens to fit. Later.
.
Probably not going to do that again, I think I overslept which brings around aches itself. It rained sometime in the night, and again sometime while I was asleep today. I don't know how much rain we got but it couldn't have been all that much. I think, out here, the only way to know, would be to put up a rain gauge, which I have been meaning to do. I will be going in Saturday. My friend wanted to go shopping today, but I am just waking. He has something tomorrow, so Saturday seemed the next best time. Hmm... I wonder if he would want to go a bit later?
A rain gauge, several hoses, and perhaps three more sprinklers, plus putting those checks into my account, is all I need. He usually just goes for groceries, but a stop at one of the farm implement stores, that happens to carry firearms and ammunition (when it's available) is a place he likes to stop as well. Wait, they close by 19:00, and might not even be open today. The only place open today is probably Walmart... though things have changed since I was a kid, living in small towns. I haven't really paid attention in decades because it usually doesn't concern me.
Then again, I need to get the watering going. But I don't want to overwater. I best stick to Saturday. The high, today, was only 88. It is down to 81 now, which means it is a very cool day. A pleasant break from a week or so of 100's. I actually think what shut me down was the cloud cover. Funny how that works. I keep wondering about that. At first it seemed like a vulnerability. The thing is, I am much more awake, when I am awake, than I have been for a long time. But the depth of consciousness is more fragile. So, while it is a vulnerability, it is a weakness created through a greater general strength. You can't be almost dead and have your cake and eat it to. I am almost impossibly well for my condition as is, so I won't complain too much about a few frailties.
I did happen to thaw a ribeye. Dinner in a bit, I suppose. I wasn't thinking about the 4th, it just happens to fit. Later.
I think I am learning to ride this pony.
.
.
It's a trick pony. Call it heatwave, call it high summer, call it what you will. It came early, and hard. Over a week at or over 100, now new and improved with 50% humidity. Still beats Iowa where 50% humidity was called an odd winter day? Something. I think it only got to 50% when the water froze in the air! Bleh.
The thing is, I have abandoned trying to keep a schedule. I am merely sleeping when I can get it in, as I can. I am probably sleeping a bit more, but not drastically more. Last night I was in bed by 23:00 or so and awake by 4:00, all give or take. So my sleep is shorter. No heat sickness now, either. Enough hydration and sleeping at while the proverbial or literal iron is hot has helped with that. Sleeping, somewhat alternately, when it is hot and when cool, and thus splitting my awake time between the two extremes. These things help.
Today is watering day. I did take a trek out to the garden, just to look things over. While the plants I planted do seem to be surviving, the shorter plants I had in are actually much more robust at this point. Their leaves have set in thickly, much more so than the taller new plants. Size is relative in this way. My tomatoes are setting on serious blooms now, too. And the root vegetables I planted, or at least the turnips, are getting of a size in which I have to start thinning. I should get a decent pan of greens from them. Yeah, perhaps not as good as fresh spinach to some, but I myself have learned to like many types of greens. I may water out there early this morning, before the sun comes up. If I do that I will hold off new planting until tomorrow. Yeah, that may be the way to go. I have a score more pepper plants to put out. I never did get the habanero in, but that is now or never. And the Tai peppers were never put in... Ah well, they will make it or not.
Corn is looking good, and I think the new plants are doing well. My lawn is doing as well as it can in this heat. I may be going to town for more hoses and sprinklers today. I found some checks for travel reimbursement that will cover most of the cost as well. A total of $60 or $70 incoming makes spending even a hundred a lot less seemingly daunting. And I know what to look for in hoses. I don't mind spending a little more for better, less likely to kink, heavier, hoses. And the sprinklers I bought were perfect, if I might have to dig around for them. The last time I was at the store they didn't have them. I'm starting to think Walmart buys a big shipment then simply doesn't replace what is sold? Something is really odd with how they are doing things now. Actually, it isn't just Walmart. I have seen, to a degree, the same thing at Lowe's and H.D. Seasonal buying that is one-time, on some things.
Bit by bit my kit and skills and knowledge are coming together. Whether fixing drywall, watering the lawn and garden, or working even on minor plumbing. This is one of the more pleasant times in my life this way. I've always had the interest, just never the money or health. Now, right now, a woman could be handy. No, not to nag, just to... remind. To keep me on track. Perhaps a bit of cheering. Well, I suppose some nagging, and simple need, wouldn't be all bad. A woman taking cold showers will definitely... push a man. Then again, she would have figured out warming water before I did. And some help on the finicky details wouldn't be bad. That has worked before.
Well, on to... more waking. Good day.
.
It's a trick pony. Call it heatwave, call it high summer, call it what you will. It came early, and hard. Over a week at or over 100, now new and improved with 50% humidity. Still beats Iowa where 50% humidity was called an odd winter day? Something. I think it only got to 50% when the water froze in the air! Bleh.
The thing is, I have abandoned trying to keep a schedule. I am merely sleeping when I can get it in, as I can. I am probably sleeping a bit more, but not drastically more. Last night I was in bed by 23:00 or so and awake by 4:00, all give or take. So my sleep is shorter. No heat sickness now, either. Enough hydration and sleeping at while the proverbial or literal iron is hot has helped with that. Sleeping, somewhat alternately, when it is hot and when cool, and thus splitting my awake time between the two extremes. These things help.
Today is watering day. I did take a trek out to the garden, just to look things over. While the plants I planted do seem to be surviving, the shorter plants I had in are actually much more robust at this point. Their leaves have set in thickly, much more so than the taller new plants. Size is relative in this way. My tomatoes are setting on serious blooms now, too. And the root vegetables I planted, or at least the turnips, are getting of a size in which I have to start thinning. I should get a decent pan of greens from them. Yeah, perhaps not as good as fresh spinach to some, but I myself have learned to like many types of greens. I may water out there early this morning, before the sun comes up. If I do that I will hold off new planting until tomorrow. Yeah, that may be the way to go. I have a score more pepper plants to put out. I never did get the habanero in, but that is now or never. And the Tai peppers were never put in... Ah well, they will make it or not.
Corn is looking good, and I think the new plants are doing well. My lawn is doing as well as it can in this heat. I may be going to town for more hoses and sprinklers today. I found some checks for travel reimbursement that will cover most of the cost as well. A total of $60 or $70 incoming makes spending even a hundred a lot less seemingly daunting. And I know what to look for in hoses. I don't mind spending a little more for better, less likely to kink, heavier, hoses. And the sprinklers I bought were perfect, if I might have to dig around for them. The last time I was at the store they didn't have them. I'm starting to think Walmart buys a big shipment then simply doesn't replace what is sold? Something is really odd with how they are doing things now. Actually, it isn't just Walmart. I have seen, to a degree, the same thing at Lowe's and H.D. Seasonal buying that is one-time, on some things.
Bit by bit my kit and skills and knowledge are coming together. Whether fixing drywall, watering the lawn and garden, or working even on minor plumbing. This is one of the more pleasant times in my life this way. I've always had the interest, just never the money or health. Now, right now, a woman could be handy. No, not to nag, just to... remind. To keep me on track. Perhaps a bit of cheering. Well, I suppose some nagging, and simple need, wouldn't be all bad. A woman taking cold showers will definitely... push a man. Then again, she would have figured out warming water before I did. And some help on the finicky details wouldn't be bad. That has worked before.
Well, on to... more waking. Good day.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
It's always good when sleep is fine.
.
.
I didn't go down until 9:00 or maybe 10:00, can't be sure. I don't even know when I woke. When there is no sleep schedule it is simply complicated to track. What I do know was that the sleep I had was superior. And, yeah, that means something. With the heat being what it is, I need good sleep. It isn't always possible, especially when on top of my lackluster ability to generally tend to myself I don't hydrate well enough. It seems I have been tending that. Last summer is an example of when all goes wrong. Getting an ac up and running is one part of it, but only a part. I am honestly surprised last summer, and some winters, didn't end up killing me all on their own. Taking care of the little things is new, a process I have come to by being on medications that seem to be improving my heart condition. That improvement allows me to scamper out of the heat, figure out how to drink and eat more, and other things. It's been years, now, for example, since I have gone without food for more than a few days, if largely in part to the beneficence of decent neighbors albeit.
The little things, food, water, temperature modulation... things most people just manage without a thought... things I have been unable to do. If things got bad, for the last few decades, I would just withdraw into myself away from whatever the source of discomfort or pain. I would suffer, but not feel the pain of these things, mostly. As I said, I am amazed I didn't seriously hurt myself through inability. It wasn't that I didn't want to improve, it is that I couldn't. I couldn't always think myself through. And when I knew what the problem was, I couldn't always do the work. That is assuming my finances weren't in such a tangle that I had money to throw at a problem. All problems generally require some money.
Each area has improved. I'm still crippled pretty good. Have no doubts there. In this latest heatwave I have been gimping a bit more. But I have everything in place to keep cooler, drink more fluid, and still tend to some of the externals like watering the plants, feeding the girls and myself a bit, and getting out once in a while. That used to be as good as things got, and they were only that good for very short times. Sam, the cat that came with the house, frightened me. I wasn't sure I could keep her properly fed and watered and otherwise tended. I won't say it was perfect, but I've done well. It started a bit rocky but I have improved a thousand fold as to surety and timeliness. I was already improved from moving out here though. And shortly after they "found" the heart problem and started dealing with it in a way that worked, roughly, improvements have increased manifold. I do, daily, what I could not have done in Iowa on my good days, even weeks sometimes, on my bad days here. It does amaze me, if there are slips. But the slips get tended, when I can finally get to it.
Hmm, the girls are reminding me it is food time. Yeah, fair enough. They give me an hour or two to wake. It's a deal we have. Then they come in and... gently nudge me off my butt. If that doesn't work they have been known to become a bit more... energetic... in reminding me. Food! Yeah, fair enough to be sure.
.
I didn't go down until 9:00 or maybe 10:00, can't be sure. I don't even know when I woke. When there is no sleep schedule it is simply complicated to track. What I do know was that the sleep I had was superior. And, yeah, that means something. With the heat being what it is, I need good sleep. It isn't always possible, especially when on top of my lackluster ability to generally tend to myself I don't hydrate well enough. It seems I have been tending that. Last summer is an example of when all goes wrong. Getting an ac up and running is one part of it, but only a part. I am honestly surprised last summer, and some winters, didn't end up killing me all on their own. Taking care of the little things is new, a process I have come to by being on medications that seem to be improving my heart condition. That improvement allows me to scamper out of the heat, figure out how to drink and eat more, and other things. It's been years, now, for example, since I have gone without food for more than a few days, if largely in part to the beneficence of decent neighbors albeit.
The little things, food, water, temperature modulation... things most people just manage without a thought... things I have been unable to do. If things got bad, for the last few decades, I would just withdraw into myself away from whatever the source of discomfort or pain. I would suffer, but not feel the pain of these things, mostly. As I said, I am amazed I didn't seriously hurt myself through inability. It wasn't that I didn't want to improve, it is that I couldn't. I couldn't always think myself through. And when I knew what the problem was, I couldn't always do the work. That is assuming my finances weren't in such a tangle that I had money to throw at a problem. All problems generally require some money.
Each area has improved. I'm still crippled pretty good. Have no doubts there. In this latest heatwave I have been gimping a bit more. But I have everything in place to keep cooler, drink more fluid, and still tend to some of the externals like watering the plants, feeding the girls and myself a bit, and getting out once in a while. That used to be as good as things got, and they were only that good for very short times. Sam, the cat that came with the house, frightened me. I wasn't sure I could keep her properly fed and watered and otherwise tended. I won't say it was perfect, but I've done well. It started a bit rocky but I have improved a thousand fold as to surety and timeliness. I was already improved from moving out here though. And shortly after they "found" the heart problem and started dealing with it in a way that worked, roughly, improvements have increased manifold. I do, daily, what I could not have done in Iowa on my good days, even weeks sometimes, on my bad days here. It does amaze me, if there are slips. But the slips get tended, when I can finally get to it.
Hmm, the girls are reminding me it is food time. Yeah, fair enough. They give me an hour or two to wake. It's a deal we have. Then they come in and... gently nudge me off my butt. If that doesn't work they have been known to become a bit more... energetic... in reminding me. Food! Yeah, fair enough to be sure.
A spook show, of the old type.
.
.
While looking through upcoming trailers, I noted this one. Just the feel of it. It looks like it might be of some quality. Now, anything based on a true story? Well, yeah, whatever. They did capture something, to, that I used to have happen often, as a child. I was always told, and came to believe, that it was just me kicking in my sleep. What I do know is I feared what might be under the bed something awful. And I was, and remain, amazed at how far a 'sleep kick' could move me. I never thought that might have been real since I grew up. I was suspicious, but when it stopped happening, mostly as it still happens a few times a year but not weekly, I was able to just let it go. Then again, at 280, I might put some poor ghost's back out, should that be the cause, if it tries it now. Heh.
.
While looking through upcoming trailers, I noted this one. Just the feel of it. It looks like it might be of some quality. Now, anything based on a true story? Well, yeah, whatever. They did capture something, to, that I used to have happen often, as a child. I was always told, and came to believe, that it was just me kicking in my sleep. What I do know is I feared what might be under the bed something awful. And I was, and remain, amazed at how far a 'sleep kick' could move me. I never thought that might have been real since I grew up. I was suspicious, but when it stopped happening, mostly as it still happens a few times a year but not weekly, I was able to just let it go. Then again, at 280, I might put some poor ghost's back out, should that be the cause, if it tries it now. Heh.
Oh, well, I suppose I should watch a little more closely.
.
.
The front yard, side yard, and garden were watered well. The new plants will be reviewed tomorrow. I am terribly afraid to put out the habanero plants. They are so small compared to what was put out. I just can't see how they will make it. But... on the next day I can get to it, I will plant them. The plants I put out were bigger than the ones that were out there, but that hasn't helped them all that much. Oh well, this is an experiment and it is time. Friday, they are predicting, temps will drop from around 100 down to the low 90's/high 80's. That would be a better time to plant. If the predictions hold. It is supposed to stay in that range for a week or more. Then again, as often as they recalibrate their predictions... I guess that is the plight of the gardener and farmer. So be it.
While watering that last piece of dry ground, it seemed to be going well. Now, I did leave it on a wee long, I simply forgot. When I went out to check on it, the ground holding the sprinkler had become quite saturated and the spike had come out. It seems a bit suspicious to me, though natural events are a reasonable explanation. I may sneak water it again tomorrow, a little deeper. While it did get an area moistened that terribly needed it, it also missed most of what else needed it. I wonder if a tom might attack a sprinkler, if it was annoyed? Especially if they have figured them out and prefer to take a certain path? If I were a tom, I would figure it out. Only do it when annoyed or... hot and bothered then interrupted by a spray though.
I'm feeling pretty good tonight. Drinking more helps a bit, if not fully. It's just hot. And it isn't cooling quickly. I'd love to leave things open and go on to bed that way but it is too late. I would wake in a oven, with the heat invading. Good night, mostly. Hungry though... Hmm... Good night or later.
.
The front yard, side yard, and garden were watered well. The new plants will be reviewed tomorrow. I am terribly afraid to put out the habanero plants. They are so small compared to what was put out. I just can't see how they will make it. But... on the next day I can get to it, I will plant them. The plants I put out were bigger than the ones that were out there, but that hasn't helped them all that much. Oh well, this is an experiment and it is time. Friday, they are predicting, temps will drop from around 100 down to the low 90's/high 80's. That would be a better time to plant. If the predictions hold. It is supposed to stay in that range for a week or more. Then again, as often as they recalibrate their predictions... I guess that is the plight of the gardener and farmer. So be it.
While watering that last piece of dry ground, it seemed to be going well. Now, I did leave it on a wee long, I simply forgot. When I went out to check on it, the ground holding the sprinkler had become quite saturated and the spike had come out. It seems a bit suspicious to me, though natural events are a reasonable explanation. I may sneak water it again tomorrow, a little deeper. While it did get an area moistened that terribly needed it, it also missed most of what else needed it. I wonder if a tom might attack a sprinkler, if it was annoyed? Especially if they have figured them out and prefer to take a certain path? If I were a tom, I would figure it out. Only do it when annoyed or... hot and bothered then interrupted by a spray though.
I'm feeling pretty good tonight. Drinking more helps a bit, if not fully. It's just hot. And it isn't cooling quickly. I'd love to leave things open and go on to bed that way but it is too late. I would wake in a oven, with the heat invading. Good night, mostly. Hungry though... Hmm... Good night or later.
Why the bad heart?
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There is always the notion that bad things just happen. Good, bad, neutral, it is intimated that rain will fall on all, irregardless of their sentiment or attachment or indifference to God. Satan can't actually hurt us, without God agreeing to it. Job is the one time I remember such being allowed. I don't see signs that God does this often. Some suggest, perhaps, that the Father had to turn His head so Christ could die on the cross. But that was the greatest "corruption" of evil ever. It took the most evil of things and turned it into salvation for many, most. Yeah, that wouldn't count.
In the secular way, of course, is the fact that viruses attack animals. And whether humans are to be classified as animals, or even what is and isn't human, is a different debate. Especially with biology, weak of a science as that is, coming out with new findings that it is more likely human like beings are more likely various species, or even subspecies, not one united genetic group with minor cosmetic differences. Different arguments with material that would be confusing here. Simply, our animal flesh is subject to ill effects from contact with other living things. Hmm, I should qualify that, as there is some debate about whether viruses are actually considered living. I'm not sure what they would be if they are not living. That would put them in the arena of naturally occurring nanobots. Which... opens up a whole different can of worms. One we probably don't want to head down. Because naturally occurring, itself, would become suspect rather quickly. It has been suggested nephilim tinkered with creatures, humans, and themselves, before they were erased in and at their time.
Anyway... So I got sick. As I have suggested, I do believe I had an attack before I was out of high school. Perhaps before I finished middle school. Something was wrong. I truly had to push to do much, even with a will to it. Sure, secondary all conference on a team that didn't win a game and while I wasn't planning to go to college in football. Lettering in three sports. Taking ap classes, if I... was lagging with sleep problems (still did twice as good on the standardized tests than the next best student, if grades didn't show it). The final straw, however, did occur in the Navy. On my first submarine. I had an attack of the shingles right as we were setting sail. There was no time to see the doctor on the tender and our 'doc' (a medic with combat experience) didn't have the extremely powerful antibiotics needed. He had some things, and offered what he had. But that only kept the thing, mostly, in line. My youth and strength had been enough to go on and do much until this last attack. Within three months of leaving that sub I had become non-functional. Mind to body, trying to keep up with the demands of the service, or even get out of bed regularly, deterioration became nearly complete. Nothing I did would change it. A new man, not in the good way.
Whatever others think, I have to wonder. If God did play a role, it was to slow things down. I was going so fast and so hard I couldn't have heard His call. Who knows though. It might simply have been the odds, chances taken when life is gifted. While I may not have created a career, or gone on to finish engineering school, or some other things, I did learn to appreciate quiet times. I learned to look before leaping, if often because all I can do is look. There is no leap to me from time to time. I learned to quietly reflect. I learned to trust, in some ways. How many who are unable to work are able to buy a home? I have been gifted with a bit of a life. It isn't all woe. What I lost, the potential for certain, was not replaced. But the world isn't fair. I won't say I'm happy with it all. I also wouldn't trade it, if I still hope to work through or past it. I learned too much and gained in ways I didn't think possible. I do know I had a lot fewer sins, and perceived sins, to work past because of becoming ill. And while there is confession, that doesn't... answer all. Here and there, a price. And... I do like roses, both the real and the virtual, and stop to appreciate them now. Save for pink ones. Hmm, though even those smell quite nice. And do make nice little gifts.
Dinner was good, and needed. I should move the single hose one last time. One last area of the yard needs a bit of water. The hoses are set up to my liking now, for watering again in two days. Later.
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Anyway... So I got sick. As I have suggested, I do believe I had an attack before I was out of high school. Perhaps before I finished middle school. Something was wrong. I truly had to push to do much, even with a will to it. Sure, secondary all conference on a team that didn't win a game and while I wasn't planning to go to college in football. Lettering in three sports. Taking ap classes, if I... was lagging with sleep problems (still did twice as good on the standardized tests than the next best student, if grades didn't show it). The final straw, however, did occur in the Navy. On my first submarine. I had an attack of the shingles right as we were setting sail. There was no time to see the doctor on the tender and our 'doc' (a medic with combat experience) didn't have the extremely powerful antibiotics needed. He had some things, and offered what he had. But that only kept the thing, mostly, in line. My youth and strength had been enough to go on and do much until this last attack. Within three months of leaving that sub I had become non-functional. Mind to body, trying to keep up with the demands of the service, or even get out of bed regularly, deterioration became nearly complete. Nothing I did would change it. A new man, not in the good way.
Dinner was good, and needed. I should move the single hose one last time. One last area of the yard needs a bit of water. The hoses are set up to my liking now, for watering again in two days. Later.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Ah, well, that might have been it.
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We hit 100 today. I didn't actually feel it though. Odd. I slept through some, but not all, of it. I must be acclimating? But... that would be enough to keep me grounded. Even if I didn't feel it I probably senses it a bit further on the periphery. The whole weekend is set to be fiery. Which, for me, will give me a fine opportunity to experiment out there a bit. I really need to get to town. To get my friend his medicine if nothing else. But I would like to try to go early, before it becomes fierce. Then, when back in town, perhaps take a walk out in it. Yum? Well, no. But... I need to see it. I need to see how I will do. A canteen of water, maybe something to nibble, shorts, t-shirt, small pack, and sunscreen. Well, it sounds more 'yum' than not, put the right way... That is, if I can even kick the engine over. We will see.
A few beers are hitting home this evening. Oh, but I best turn off the water. I watered late, but I've just been moving slow and off my game as well all day. I didn't have time for the the front lawn, and technically am too late for the garden. But it absolutely had to be hit. I didn't even know about the heat until just a bit ago, I just knew that it has been dry. Beer, and maybe a few more burritos. Later, maybe goodnight.
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We hit 100 today. I didn't actually feel it though. Odd. I slept through some, but not all, of it. I must be acclimating? But... that would be enough to keep me grounded. Even if I didn't feel it I probably senses it a bit further on the periphery. The whole weekend is set to be fiery. Which, for me, will give me a fine opportunity to experiment out there a bit. I really need to get to town. To get my friend his medicine if nothing else. But I would like to try to go early, before it becomes fierce. Then, when back in town, perhaps take a walk out in it. Yum? Well, no. But... I need to see it. I need to see how I will do. A canteen of water, maybe something to nibble, shorts, t-shirt, small pack, and sunscreen. Well, it sounds more 'yum' than not, put the right way... That is, if I can even kick the engine over. We will see.
A few beers are hitting home this evening. Oh, but I best turn off the water. I watered late, but I've just been moving slow and off my game as well all day. I didn't have time for the the front lawn, and technically am too late for the garden. But it absolutely had to be hit. I didn't even know about the heat until just a bit ago, I just knew that it has been dry. Beer, and maybe a few more burritos. Later, maybe goodnight.
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