Ah-ha!

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I found some of the problem.  Brots, Johnsonville, they add corn syrup.  As expensive as they are...  On the good side, they were a trial, one I didn't like.  I will see if the neighbors want them.  The remaining packages are still frozen.  Yeah, but, could that still be tagging me?  I ate five, over two days.  Two, two suppers ago, one as a snack yesterday, and two for supper last night.  Maybe.  It is just odd that blood sugar keeps going up today, only drinking plain tea.  I guess I am back to fasting, at least until I hit the 130's.  Yeah, added corn syrup, and manufactured in sugar (in bread, etc) seems to really bash my diabetes, whereas adding sugar, or even having a soda, doesn't... or as much.  Something about what they add, or how they add it.

When did they start pouring sweeteners into brots?  Maybe they have for most of my life?  Are they somehow adding it to raw pork as well?  I'm not sure.  I just don't trust... anybody... at this point.  I'm throwing the rest of the pork I recently bought and cooked. I haven't had this problem with other batches bought.  Though I am not sure that is the problem, just an abundance of caution.

I was thawing a cornish game hen.  I had to go check that, and the raw pork.  Thankfully neither indicates anything other than meat.  Who ever knows anymore?  I'd like to try to grill the hen.  I'm not sure how well that will work.  If it does work it will be fantastic.  I am hoping to be eating by tomorrow.  Later.

A tough week.

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I can't say why.  It is warming, if today and yesterday is and was cooler.  But that isn't it.  I have been staying on medicine, which is usually good, if I am on a steeper dose which could be part of the problem.  Blood sugar has started running high, for no good reason.

I have completely eliminated the sweetener.  I am suspicious of the brots, perhaps ribs.  The brots are processed.  I bought sweet, but that was an assortment of Italian spices, not sugared... though perhaps that changed.  The ribs were cooked from what I presumed a raw state.  I even washed, then changed out the jar I was drinking from... which worked a bit for a bit.  I even did fasting for a while.

I am honestly suspicious of outside influences.  This, happening right before a doctor appointment, with a doc who is going to try to force insulin?  Very suspicious.  I've never had this happen when I could focus before.  I'll figure something out.  I won't let them force me onto insulin.  Oh, and with elevated blood sugar, typically cool has become hot, according to my senses.  For now, back to fasting.

After fasting, cleaning than changing out my drinking jar, the number dropped, so I thought food might then help.  Nope.  I'll have to change my appointment.  And watch my back.  Later.

Waking early is good.

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It's a tough one, this morning.  It may not be continued in the future.  It has always been the intent.  If I were simply a night-owl, I would learn to live with it.  My schedule bounces, more so when I am able, then work.  The problem isn't just sleeping to much, but can be staying awake too long and or too little.  Those things don't go together, each can be it's own problem.

I have been doing well for a bit.  My day is slipping though, slowly.  Later and later.  Actually, after this post, I have to go back to bed.  Meds have been taken, teeth brushed.  My day has been started.  Something feels off though, as if my innards slipped a quarter off track.  There is some direct discomfort, and some odd organ affects.  I hope it's just a bad day.  Milder than such events in the past, but it's been so long time since my innards hurt that it's having more of a punch.

Dreamed.  Not a pleasant one.  The evils of jealousy.  All you have to have is one more item, comparatively, for some people to be murderously jealous.  The young are greatly susceptible, if some never grow up.  I ended up getting rid of all possessions, none going to those who were thinking of murder for gain.

Another day.

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I didn't do much.  Blood sugar is higher than it should be, if easily below 200.  Still, it's being fussy.  I have started wondering if sugar is being added to something.  Something isn't adding up.  I may fast again, early.  Do what I must.

What seemed the makings of a storm rolled in.  A dry one.  The wind is gone already.  It did provide cover so as to water the lawn again.  It may simply be too sunny for the lawn to survive well here.  I'll try.  It may simply not work.  I really should put the timer out, and get a few other things in place.  Not tonight, if it is time to shut it all down.

The temp went from 88 to 65, outside, in an half hour.  I opened the cave accesses right away, but it didn't cool off any better... well, it was 75.9 yesterday, 75.6 today.  :p  I do run the ac a bit in early afternoon.  While it doesn't seem to change the temp, it does feel cooler.  Then again, all my thermometers are higher up.  I may check something the next few days.

I had to laugh.  I sensed that someone was trying to use a song I showed to suggest I was the same type of monster I was suggesting was the enemy.  I can never tell if I am dealing with an idiot, a poser who should know better, or a typical evil actor.  Letting one who is too young go is... a good thing.  I don't have to feel good about it, but I must.  At my age, in my health, finding a woman with whom to have children with is tricky, unlikely... if that is half the point.  Too young is just that, too, again.  But, anyone with half a brain and even a modicum of morality, wouldn't have an issue.  Unless they are simply stupid, or evil.

I may get to bed earlier tonight.  It's about time, if so.   Almost.  Good night.

A strange morning and night.

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As for the night, a dream.  Most, actually all, monsters either can't (usually) or won't (rarely) be able to see just what kind of monster they are.  Only, I suspect, those who were once powerfully on the side of good... who kept themselves clean, knowing both sin and virtue exceedingly well... may be able to still see their own faults.  They simply refuse, for... pride?  March, if you know it and wish to show it, I suppose.

In my dream, I saw the nature of the monsters which are the most common threat.  Addled with hungers, addictions, lusts, none of which can be satisfied, and the women who live much like them, refusing to sate lusts, merely egging their pseudo men on with  lust invoking but unloving, or simply crass but unsatisfying, approval behaviors.

Of course, there is their dark lord.  Even when I walked in darkness, he was not my lord.  To the powerful, he is not a king, just a greater, the greatest, betrayer.  The king of fools?  I think that is how he was known by me and my kind.  The oldest any of us knew, until... until God... became known to a few, and worshipped by fewer still.  There is him.  He isn't the earthly threat.  For now.  It is his knowing and willing minions.  Again, for now.

Watering, food, and remembering a dream.

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Not much, if pushing creates *stars*.  That is not nearly as severe as it was yesterday, if enough to keep my plans simple.  The yard really needs water.  Longer tonight, and longer Saturday.  Longer until I see solid results.  The side yards are better.  I may look into smaller indigenous shade trees.  Something to give the front yard a chance.  Perhaps evergreens of some sort.  We have a brutal sun here.  Wow, that water is C O L D though.

Blood sugar isn't great.  BP has been good.  Another meal is about to get going.  Pieces of pork rib, crisped on the grill, and eggs.  Perhaps milk, though definitely cottage cheese and a few slices of peach.  Those unsweetened canned fruits are truly a treat.  Convenient, no hits on blood sugar, not expensive, with a can lasting out five meals over a week.  Almost anything is edible, just a matter of dosing.  Except added sugar, corn syrup, or such.  I may try a roll tonight.  They may add sugar, but not include it on the ingredient list, a common treachery.

Personally, I think the government knows, approves, pushes, such.  We need to end both public sector unions and lifetime bureaucratic positions and the safety of those jobs, be able to fire anyone in the government for even a hint of corruption, impropriety, or just being assholes.  They have forgotten who they work for.

Ah, the dream.  I saw him leave.  I thought it was after she fell.  And there is another woman to go.  Which is when, who, is another matter.  If the left is crazy now, rabid soon.  That can, will, be handled.  Amen.

It got to 88 today, by early to mid afternoon.  It was 73 F in here, until late afternoon when the house finally surrenders a bit, and hit 75, nearly 76.  Almost as soon as the sun drops, for now, the temp plunges.  It is 62 and probably still falling.  Everything gets opened and the fans continue their tiresome but beloved job.  I am enjoying summer a lot more.  With diabetes and bp more controlled, the heat is much easier to live with.

Later.  Perhaps good night.

Another opportunity.

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Is there ever a better time than now to start, start over, start again?  Actually, is there any other time?  Now or never isn't wisdom, merely a truth... given the constraints on time with which we are faced.  Even if you don't begin now, it is only now, in awareness, when plans may be formulated, and some current or future now when those plans may be implemented.  It's... always now... when one plans or does.

So, plans for today?  Same plans as yesterday, minus what has been done.  ;p  It's too early for recall.  Though another shower, maybe a quick shave, might be good.  I already cleaned the litter box and topped off their dry food.  Time to see if Sam wants out.  I try to hit litter at least twice a day.  It pays... litter lasts longer and odor is controlled... especially since I can and do vent daily, while it is cooler.

I experimented with the ac upstairs.  One tiny ac does the trick.  I thought it might help cool the downstairs, but nope.  So...  Actually I may buy another, but not for up there.  Perhaps for in the north-facing laundry room, one with a timer, to run in the mid afternoon, daily.  Just a bit of a boost to cooling.  A few hours is all it should take.  And a few hours in the bedroom as I go to sleep, better started an half hour before sleep.

It's only 72, but for some reason it seems hot this morning.  At 9:30, it was 65 F outside, but the sun was blazing.  I closed everything down.  I have two fans going.  I don't want to run ac until it hits 74.  Why do I feel so hot?  A shower may help.  Though even cool showers end up heating me up, sometimes, often.

No stars, at least so far.  When I shave and shower I'll know.  A mild... headache type thing, but different.  I'm definitely chalking that up to fasting, it's similar to one of the mild complaints from while fasting.  There are several, but so mild as to be easily ignored.  Just mentioned now because it is occurring outside of fasting, which is unusual.  I think strong heat, or severe cold, probably extremes of any kind, don't go well with fasting.  No worries, just something to consider when fasting in the future.  Yes, fasting is a permanent part of my life.  Always has been, just... now it is controlled.

I'm doing bp with my waking-fasting blood draw, roughly two hours after waking.  It will give medicine time to work.  Eating will be after the blood draw four hours after that.  I may eat as hunger dictates for the next six hours (roughly for now, four to eight hours as needed until I can tighten, then take it down to a four hour food period, as my regular consumption rules).  Yeah.  Fasting and feasting, sinning and saintliness, it is the way of those whom I have sought more understanding.  Want better?  Here?  Living with both is... even if you don't sin, it's all around.  Actually, by not sinning one becomes insane, according to the world.  Probably why I am so hated at the V.A.  Or they think I follow up on my notions... if I doubt that is the problem.

On to waking.  Good morning and day.
----------------

Somone... remembers... the gig?

Just a bit.

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Freshly grilled meat is too delectable for me to pass upon.  Just a bit, with mustard.  It took my blood sugar to 119, which is lower than any fasting read, I believe.  Still, I am chalking these up to fasting.  Another reason to eat is because something is really off.  The 'stars' are back.  I feel nearly dazed and confused.

Not sure what the problem is.  I know it isn't dehydration, hunger issues, low blood sugar... bp is 119/77, with a pulse of 80.  I think that is a record, for the second number?  Close if not.  Perhaps my body just isn't made to have such low numbers, or isn't used to it.  My body is really off, that is for sure.

I will rest pretty soon.  Perhaps that, with the food, will put things to rights.  I sure hope so.  Could it just be the heat?  It feels heat related.  Nah.  I was feeling this when it was just 70, this morning, which passes for chilly around here recently.  I just don't know.  I sure need sleep.  Good night.

Well?

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Food helped, a bit.  A drive to town, shopping.  A few new things, a few things I was running low on, regular items.  Even with food, the trip was tough.

I knew the meal I had was going to destroy my blood sugar read.  Jammed it, after two to three hours, up to 99.  Wha?  I've been fasting for half a week and didn't come close to that.  So I break fast with enough food for two meals and hit the jackpot?  I'm telling you, it just doesn't make sense.  Grilling brots and pork ribs.  I might have a nibble, but most of it is for the rest of the week.  Chop and heat with eggs, grill again and eat with mustard, perhaps on a bun.  Hmm, might make an egg casserole with bits and parts.  Life is good, more so when, if, you do your part.  I am trying.

Ugh.  Hot, tired, but... pleased.  I'll keep at it.  Good night.

To work I must eat.

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I could continue my fast.  I can't continue my fast and work.  I hit a wall.  Seeing stars a bit too frequently, just doing minor things... showering and shaving, then almost anything outside.  It isn't terribly hot, 85 F and dry.  It is hot enough that being outside is slightly taxing, generally.  Saw stars, so stopped my efforts and returned to my chair.

Choices.  Though not really.  I have things I must do.  Obviously not today.  Food won't work that fast.  Tomorrow or the day after.  I have things which have to be done, inside, out, and business.  A choice that isn't. On the good side, I was able to fast well this time.  The Thursday after the next I may try to hit five days.  It seems even my schedule has limits.

I could drive, just not work.  Dinner is on.  Later.

A great start to a new day.

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Up late might be the only complaint.  But not by when I went to bed.  Late, very late, to bed.  Season lag?   More sun, more heat, harder to even remember to sleep.  I'll work on it.  I haven't been needing the ac or fan, which is incredible.  Perhaps turning those on for a bit, to help sleep earlier and more quickly?  Yes.  But to remember to do so, then follow through?  If I can learn to brush my teeth again, it's possible.

Dishes were reset, teeth brushed, cat litter tended, Sam was let out right off.  At 10:00, it was just around 70 F... going to be a warm one.  All good.  With the watering timer set and seemingly functional, I'll get that set up.  Dishes, bedding, and laundry remain.  Well, there is always more.  I'll do some named and some unnamed.

Fasting blood sugar was better, at 123.  BP was superior, at 119/94 p. 74.  Actually before medicine, right off the flattop.  *zoom*  It's the fourth day fasting, doing well.  Doing exceptionally well.  I am certain to make it to five days?  How about fourteen days?  We'll see.  Those are eventual goals, just to see.  If they work, perhaps a twenty one day fast.  If I succeed with that, it may become a yearly lent observance, with three-day fasts every other week and daily fasting as a general rule?  Aye.  Yes.

Best to shave and shower today.  I am pleased with the direction and velocity of this week.  Even with fasting it is going well.  There are always more tasks, jobs, chores, duties, responsibilities, and opportunities than time, for now.  But that is half the beauty of the gig.  You carve your face into a block of reality with the choices of the usage of your time, becoming what you do, if only parents and the holy transcend.  Amen.

Hmm.  Shut up.  ;)  I suppose a shower and shave, in case the boss shows up with keys and time.  Then to just wake via gaming.  Later.

Some of the plan.

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Through the third day of fasting, I honestly wasn't sure if anything would get done.  I saw stars a few times.  More a bp, or pulse, thing than glucose.  My pulse did go up to 65 by midday.  BP was middling okay.  Bleh.  I haven't checked it yet tonight as I just remembered medicine... want to give it an half hour or hour to work.  Blood sugar is better, now that I am limiting sweetener, at 114.  

I got all the watering done before it got dark.  Nasty dry out there.  Despite reviews, or maybe because of old ones, the watering timer actually works without waiting a week.  I wonder, if they fixed that, perhaps more than one of the four outlets can be used at once?  No, I think that failed when I was tinkering, if that was manual.  I may experiment.  I hit the yard in two shots.  I don't have enough functioning garden hoses for a single pass, nor water pressure probably.  So, for now, it is as it is.  I plan to order two more hoses this next month, hundred footers.  That and repair a few.

I also did dishes, almost.  Two washes.  Rinsing now.  Won't finish them tonight.  Pulled weeds while out there, picked up sticks, made an effort to fix one of the hoses as well.  Lots of standard things too, like feeding the girls, tending their litter, oh and got the trash and recycling barrels pulled back.  Yeah, not bad.  Not all planned, but that wasn't... likely.  I am a bit surprised and pleased.  A gift to and from God.  To His glory.  Hmm, something about... to He Who has, more shall be given?  As below, so above?  I suspect.  Good night.

Oh, bp is 139/99, p. 76.  Good night.

The satisfaction of hearing success.

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It took until nearly 3:00 for me to get trash and recycling collected, to the bins, then the bins out for pickup.  I was honestly beginning to think I would time out.  Sometimes I literally cannot function after some point, or for various reasons.  I was pushing, it worked.  It is more exhausting to push and do nothing than to simply do it, but if I can't, I can't.  The satisfying rumble of one, maybe both, refuse trucks, the sound of the breaks, rumble of the engine, clanks of the lift arms, as I remained just that side of sleep, satisfied in knowing I did not miss another trash day, chore, duty.  Odor, in and out, has been managed.  Then drifting back down to a kind rest.

Sam did wake me again.  I "forgot" to close the door.  It was half that, half being undecided... wanting to see what she would do.  She gave me a bit longer in the day, if pushing my actual sleep time.  Letting me sleep in to 9:30, if cutting sleep time to six hours, plus up to an half hour.  I'm tres bon with that.  I'm liking my little living teddy bear girl cat alarm.

Fasting blood sugar is a wee high, at 145.  We'll see if sweetener control helps today.  BP is... weird, 151/89, pulse 40!?!  I... have snuck in extra carvedilol, two by 6.25 mg, in the mornings.  I have been on four times that amount, which wasn't sustainable.  Now I know why.  They were trying to murder me.  Good to know.  I've just started.  Would like to give it a few days to week to settle out.  It's the pulse that concerns me.  I had been on a single extra in the morning for two weeks, with pretty much no effect.  I've only been on the current dose for two or three days.  Ah, weighing in at 252.

A shower, some calls, dishes, bedding, and laundry?  It's a plan.  Fasting will continue.  Feeling good with fasting so far today.  I need to remember bullion or broth the next time I shop.  Oh, and watering again.  I can hit the food type greens a bit after noon, when the sun is cut by the roof.  The rest must wait until long shadows fall.  Perhaps earlier, and with better zone planning.  Ugh.  I hate doing stupid, but sometimes it has to happen.  Ah, such a low pulse may play a part.

Hmm.  A shave and shower as a first, beside already brushing teeth, meds, and blog runs.  Now for tea and a spot of gaming.  Good day, chuckle-heads.  Blessings, wise thoughts, and stupid grins.  Later.

Is it?  Innit.  Of course.

Watering the green growy things.

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Took longer than anticipated.  I kept finding dry patches.  Didn't help that it was getting, then got, dark.  Still, I finally got it all.  I may hit it tomorrow, briefly, then every other then third day.  Yeah, it's a pattern, that will fit in a week; Monday, Wednesday, Saturday... an half hour per.  The front and side lawn needed it desperately, which is why a quick splash tomorrow will happen.  I got the garden stuff yesterday.  It was still looking good, only gets sun half the day.  It'll get hit tomorrow too.

Not much else done.  While late, I will get the trash and recycling out.  Recycling is mostly out.  I'll take the bag I've been using, mostly just to be tidy, and for odor management.  Trash.  It... there isn't much, but out it will go also.  At least the effort should be easy.  Should be.  My body doesn't want to, I don't want to.  I will.

Blood sugar was elevated much of the day.  I realized I have been drinking a lot of artificial sweetener.  I usually use it in half my tea.  Lately I've been using more and every time.  I cut that, and... bingo.  I'll have to both cut volume and frequency.  No problem.  Now I know, and that is a relief.  I was beginning to think... something broke, permanently.  Not sure if blood sugar is, or how close of a, glucose model it is.  Not sure if everything that affects one affects the other?  Do they know?  BP is ranging lower to lower middling.  Bleh.

Fasting is doing well.  I was tested earlier.  Popcorn really sounded good.  Powerful, the temptation, but short lived.  No?  No!  My leg is doing better.  I did find my regular vitamins.  I took the minerals off daily, but kept extra in the cycle four days a week.  I may go back down to thrice weekly if the leg does well enough for long enough.

Health habits are taking hold.  Medicine, brushing teeth, taking readings.  Oh, must add foot lotion, which ends up getting hands, arms, knees, and elbows.  The leg is doing much better, but it's not quite there.  I may add Listerine in, for lunch gargling.  It and my other do different things.  Docs, of the dental varietal, want me to use both but resigned their hope to the main one I use.  I am hoping the new kind will help.

I best get the refuse collected and out.  Sam has her work cut out for her tomorrow morning.  I may shut the door?  Good night.

I have the quad timer set up.

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Mostly.  I have two zones ready.  The odd thing is that the system will only allow one zone to run at a time.  Usually water pressure is a bit high.  I am considering using just one zone, with a splitter.  I don't need to water the back.  A benefit of allowing someone to farm grasses back there. Probably the side yard in time.  For now I have the side and front yard.  The water pressure should be enough for both.

I plan to water more often, but for short runs.  Once I have it set and going, I'd like to put grass seed out, then do that again this fall, everywhere it has become sparse or worse.  Then put up barriers so those areas don't get mowed.  If weeds appear, either pull by hand or use the weed whip.  I'm never sure what variables might be in play, so which solutions could do.  Tick-tock.  I just know I need to water.

I actually will water manually this week, or until I hear the timer working.  I have heard it takes a week to activate, switching it to manual will reset the cooldown.  I'll see.  No problem doing it manually until I am sure it is working.  Annoying, but every timer out there has bugs or limits.  I don't understand why they can't, or won't really, simplify.  I suppose engineers up to snuff for that get paid a lot more to do more important things.

BP was a bit high, blood sugar popped up then dropped ten points.  My body seems to be ignoring my fast, or doing it's best to do so.  Blood sugar went from 128 to 160/165 to 150, well into the second day without food.  Nutz.  BP is sometimes higher, if mostly better.  I am beggining to feel the pain... just starting to feel hunger.  Perhaps a nap?  Later.

Sam has decided to wake me?

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I don't know if this is a local fad or if it will become a regular thing.  She shaved sleep a little tight this morning.  But being up earlier is... good.  I wouldn't mind her pushing my wake back to 5:00 or 6:00.  She doesn't get fed any earlier, or even let out.  But she does get positive reinforcement in the forms of petting, mild itching, and massage.  And this lets her know she is top cat.  She is often in the dog house, so this pleases her.  She likes... to be liked.

Fasting blood sugar, through yesterday, started high, went higher, then started coming down the last two draws... 150ish, a couple 160's, a 140, then a high 120.  It is 128 this morning.  BP is a bit better, but increased from middling to the bad numbers by bedtime.  I am taking medicine and change.  It was on the lower end of my usual range this morning.  Odd thing is that my pulse has dropped into the 70's, almost every time, except last night, for days.

Fasting is going very well.  No pains or... what I call... withdrawal symptoms, yet.  While I do need food, I am also prone to addiction.  As are we all, I believe.  Born to eat, poop, and die.  Thank God for commas!  And you thought my jokes weren't funny.  Uhrm, I sincerely hope that's funny to you.  I suppose there must be proof all cultures aren't equal if not.  Here's to laughing at you, kid!

My mom called.  I missed but called her back.  This time it worked.  It seems she is moving.  Out by August seems the plan.  I don't know that I can make it, but I may try.  Perhaps for the last week or two?  If, that is, I can make it.  Gas one way, one month, the other way the next month.  Got to have a cool place to sleep though.  Still not sure.  Maybe.

Medicine, brushing, stats and blood tests, all becoming routine... for now.  Fasting becoming easier, so far.  Pretty tired though.  Which, if I can keep up while exhausted, there is that.  Now to add a bit of work and exercise in.  This is a very good downtime.  I am yet hoping for a better uptime, perhaps an extended one.

I ordered a few more parts for watering the lawn.  I looked in town, to the limits of my ability.  If it's not even there, I can't buy it.  I'm watching my money.  Slipping just a bit, if I put more in this month than there was last month.  I really need to open a saving account.  What I don't see...  Just for emergency and home repair use to keep it in check.  No use to save when value is lost through interest versus inflation... just another form of theft.  Worse than loan interest, especially credit cards.  They took mine away because I paid it quickly.  Now my account is my positive "credit card balance".  I am laughing all the way to the bank.  Except for interest theft.

Later.

Sam woke me this morning.

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Sometimes, I suspect, the old girl wakes me for her own purposes.  Sometimes she just thinks I should be awake.  Generally she is fair, if not always correct.  Today she was both.  I suspect she wanted out.  Though... I do think she thought I had enough sleep as well.  Persistent old girl.  At least she has learned to not use claws.

Awake I am.  Teeth brushed, waiting that half hour after brushing and gargling for tea, and meds.  Blood sugar is 148, bp is 138/99, p. 90.  Better, for no good reason(s), than yesterday.  Fasting starts today.  Maybe two days, maybe longer.  The goal is five days, then longer, when I trust to go that far.  The difference between sleep-fasting and wake-fasting is that when I would sleep for weeks, my body would slow, greatly.  While awake, my body can't slow.  Which is why fasting shaves weight, wake-fasting that is.  Which is why the weight loss surprised me.  As for pain?  I think sleep-fasting was worse.  I would dream of starvation, couldn't wake to deal with it.  True horror.

I hope to do things today, if doubt.  It's 55ish, F, at 8:30.  Strange.  Or seems so to me.  I'd like to do a few small parts of several projects and a few chores.  We'll see.  First my wake-up routines.  I'm not sure if it is tea time yet or not.  Medicine and tea.  While nothing was done yesterday, I did take medicine, brush, and do my reads, save the last bp check.  That's something, and becoming pretty typical.  Later.

Bah!

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Can't fast today.  Not an issue of willpower.  I have two steaks thawed.  The boss was mowing, so I offered him a free meal.  He has other plans.  I just won't burn that much money, steak is spendy.  Tomorrow, then through Tuesday?  Longer if I can.  It gets a bit funky after several days. The mind gets wonky.

Blood sugar went higher, fasting to point today.  Then I needed a nap, and blood sugar remains in the low 160's.  It's definitely time to fast.  Bp went higher.  I was about to brush when it turns out I need to eat, so that will wait.  After lunch I hope to get to town.  Package return, another stop at the library is required.

If I can.  It's in the mid 70's, which oddly, out of the sun, feels cool to cold.  Strange what controlling blood sugar does.  I am having a kefir water soda.  Amazing what a bit more fruit does.  This one has almost as much fizz as regular soda, if it behaves slightly differently.  And it is quite tasty.  Popping the top almost gives the notion of opening champagne.  I only get two of these a week.  Will test diabetes in a bit.  These seem to cause a quick rise, quick fall, then to below the initial point, on their own.  I let the boss try some.  I think he was as surprised as I was.  Far cheaper than regular soda, too.

Later.

Up and, well, just up.

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I do hope to finish a few things, start a few things, and continue a few things.  I am feeling a bit rough today.  Just odd varied bodily complaints.  I am doing well with brushing, at least with the morning and night routine.  It's the aftermeal one(s) I... need to work on.  I stilll wake with bad breath, only now I know it.  I'm not sure that is an advantage, for me.  The rest of the world may disagree.  How in the world... I clean and sanitize, only to wake as if... I don't know.

Fasting blood sugar is a little high, again, at 151.  A longer fast, hopefully until Monday or later.  If I can hit five days... or, when I can hit five days... or more, I will.  Blood pressure was 138/100, p. 80.  That has been the same, give or take five points, the last three times, mornings and nights, since beginning that yesterday.  Still a bit high.  I am thinking of adding another carvedilol, though may hold off to see if fasting brings it into alignment.  Several more 'fasting treatments' and I am hoping my readings will more fully normalize... and stay regular.  Got to admit, fasting is helping.

The glasses I got from the V.A. are really off.  So, when the glasses I ordered off-site came, I wasn't sure.  Bother trying them or just send them back?  I went ahead and tried  them.  Better but still off?  Is it just getting used to new glasses?  I will try the V.A. glasses again.  Though those were truly awful.  I couldn't see through the upper or lower portions.  To be fair, everybody gets a pass, will mess up.  It's a bit the scripts and a bit the making of those... the first failure for them.  I do need to call.  All glasses have to go back.  What a pain.  Strange, the Chinese knock-offs were better, with a bad script?  Weird.

Actually I will be keeping the standard, non-bifocal glasses.  Even flawed they are better than the last glasses I got (not at the V.A., but at a local eye doc they sent me to see).  I won't let the V.A. experiment on my eyes anymore.  No drops, no dilatation, none of it.  Maybe that will help them focus on what I need, not on their trainees' curiosity.

Later.

Very good.

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As I was considering getting started, the doorbell rang.  I couldn't imagine who.  Still less than presentable, I rushed to manage that before the visitor went away.  The boss? I didn't think he was to be back for a bit?  Hmm.  Curious.  Stick lessons?  Finally!  It's been thirty years.  Total memory wipe, as with her.  I don't think the memory loss was for the same reasons.  One was just collapsing health, the other was brute trauma, though the trauma may have lead to health issues or in part.

I... wasn't expecting much.  From myself.  I did... okay.  Better than I expected, if that was a rather low bar.  It will take a lot of practice.  If I get an hour or two a week, and gain some competence, by summers end I may see about a great used stick car... low mileage, high mpg.  Or maybe not until spring if I can't find a front wheel drive.  I don't trust awd's, and rear wheel drives are useless in the winter.  Insurance is the bigger concern.  Well, after payments.  Ugh.  Keep it to $250 a month?  Dunno.  Max though.

I am excited.  Jacked.  It was, probably, 1987 the last time I drove stick, a Navy deuce and an half, to pick up the crew for physical quals?  They missed me the year before, so put me in charge the next.  I think so.  Rough old bitch, if she was actually pretty new.  Fun to play with, as long as none of the old men (xo's on up) caught you, or didn't know/owe you.  Bidniz.  She was stiff, but goosing would get the girl to blush and wiggle.

I'll see what else I can do yet.  Steak and eggs for a first meal.  Another steak in a bit.  Premeal blood sugar was 122.  I'll check again at 14:30.  Later.