Finally out!

.
.
I had paperwork at the post office for the post office.  Done.  I wasn't sure about my first auto payment.  I had the money, I just wasn't able to get out to check.  I was so worried that I was late.  Nope, first payment is coming up.  Gah!   I have been choking on that.

A bit of looking and it looks like I need to renew my actual driver license, but can do that part online.  I owed my doctor some coin, and received a notice from SSD suggesting my doctor hadn't responded.  So a visit there.  The letter was rather old.  The ladies had already dealt with this, but sent something else today, just in case.  I am almost surprised nothing else has been sent.  Still, one more group of tasks finished.

I had hoped to do 'dry goods' shopping, then hit groceries.  Not possible.  Too hot.  I did dry goods, a number of items, some monthly or nearly, a few special items, gotta do it.  No chance for groceries.  I was done.  Tomorrow?  Or Monday.  I did buy coals, and have meat thawed.  Can get by.

Oh, yes, showered on my way out.  That shaved my time to about ten minutes before the post closed.  It was as good as I could do, and not bad.  Blood sugar has slowly lowered.  I have had insulin twice, early.  Then stopped eating and dosing.  It was 147 the last meal and dose, then 124, now 79.   I'm letting it go, but will have at least a fatted coffee soon, then maybe bacon and eggs.  It's easy to cook.  Crazy.  Later.

A few snooze buttons.

.
.
I wish I could say they were just for nostalgia, or even Nostalghia.  That I was in control.  I could not wake easily.  Now, I actually woke at a quarter to three, realized no alarm was set, so set them.  I wasn't sure, by how I was feeling, if I could make the three o'clock set, so also set the fiver.  Up at 3:30, so not bad.

I went to bed at a quarter or less before twenty hundred, but before the hour.  Went to sleep so fast my eyes caught light snapping shut?  It's a story.  My last blood sugar, after nothing nothing for the last four hours was 114, so I hoped this morning would be good.  Nope, it was 167 fasting.  Average is 136, for what that matters.  Pizza has consequences.

Dreams, many.  Just life with women I have known, been with.  The quiet times, working together, talking, playing cards or board games.  No matter what, I am more and more convinced it is always about sex.  Well, and dominance as it pertains to sex.  Always.  I suspect it is even that way with women I won't ever have sex with, at which time it becomes maneuvering for power positions as if, or in theoretical prep.

Women deny it but are the ones who can never set it aside or let it go.  Perhaps it is at least partly, mainly, hindbrain, certainly not all of it.  Always playing, pushing, maneuvering, scheming, plotting, and yet, to their minds, innocent even when, especially when, they are absolutely guilty.  Oddly, only when a woman has become invisible does she begin being more honest.  At that point she has nothing to offer or lose.  Still, I... love the games.  I have certain... advantages.  I definitely cheat.

Hopefully work today.  Friday already?  Oh, I said I would mow.  I'll try to remember to hit that as soon as it seems dry out there.  I actually do enjoy mowing.  With the rider it isn't work, just time.  A shower soon, then bacon and eggs?  Yeah.  Best get medicine down.  It has been a long time since I missed a dose, if I have had to push the spread a few times.  Oh, and it has been a week and more since I needed aspirin?  Wonderful!   I have been so sleepy due to the dark days that I just lost track.

A bit of waking, a shower, giving the laundry a fluff, breakfast, setting up dishes, then the bathroom?  Okies, for a start.  Later.

I've been a bit lost.

.
.
Blood sugar has been drifting upward.  It hit 136 after having a bit to eat, then 140 later.  Some food and a bit of insulin should work.  Fresh eggs, if not mentioned, are in.  Nothing fancy, other than the eggs.  Yes, they are worth mentioning.  Perhaps lamb on the side.  Not bad after pizza and soda yesterday.  Like it or not, failures will, need to, happen.  It has been a month since I broke my rules?  Longer?  Bleh.

The sun is out.  I should get out. Not sure I will.  Would burn.  Probably did yesterday.

Hmm.  Later.

Well, that is better.

.
.
I had hoped to bring blood sugar under control.  How do you do that?  You take risks.  Being as high as it was, I wasn't sure how, or the sort of risks, the level of risk required. So?  So I... Just did.  Then more.  Blindly, but with a sensitivity to death and proximity to it few can know.  Yes, so, I just did, and again, going by feel.

Four hours later a test.  At a blood sugarof 81 I would say I did well.  Time for fatted coffee, then a shower, and on to work.  Oh, fresh eggs are in!  I do believe that and bacon would be heavenly.  The other eggs indicated that they were good, but weren't.  My stomach and down is still recovering.  Fresh eggs though?  That will help.

Later.

Tic tac puzzles.

.
.
Not all that active yet.  The dreams have been haunting me.  Something was... wrong?  They weren't all mine.  Sometimes I just know.  Other times, because of my natures, it takes a while to sort out who is who, then from what was experienced what was meant.  It is spooky to watch the dreams of a woman about me, both as I am and as...  well.

Sorting her dreams from mine, for some of her dreams led to some of mine.  It is almost giving me a headache, if well worth the price of admission.  Oh yeah.  Yes.

We might see the same things.  But she would be intimating implicit off-screen interests while I would be all about explicit on-screen notions.

Awake at a good time.

.
.
When I woke, I thought it was too early.  I suspect I did wake at 23:00, perhaps 1:30, maybe both, and between the clock and how I felt, went back to sleep.  I don't remember exactly, but I was so sure it was one of those times.  I have checked the clock three times within a minute before, having forgotten I just checked it several times, to then remember and chuckle myself awake or back to sleep.  Actually I do that several times a month, sometimes a week.

This time that wasn't the case.  If I really didn't want to wake, I was sure I had slept plenty.  And I am on the hunt for a day schedule!  A year from now I want to be applying for school.  It doesn't have to be perfect, but it has to be five to six days a week.  Getting off track means shoving back to days very quickly.  And, really, up by 3:30 to 5:30 is my actual goal.  An excellent time to do homework and general study.

Dreaming.  So much of that lately.  I can't remember what, not exactly.  Swimming in pools of naked women, war, food, and God?  Crazy, maybe, but it has been wonderful.  Every night for a while now has been rather busy, dreamwise.  Not quite wall to wall, just frequent, or so it seems.

Blood sugar is quite high, at 222.  Working on it first thing.  Every once in a while blowing the thing up has to happen.  Now to figure out how to fix it.  Not enough fat this week.  I was unsure about money, or I would have found a way to get more cream.  Even the storebought for a short term emergency use would have worked.  Actually it was both money and the inability to get out.

Ugh.  Today?  I'll check the laundry, give it a last whirl then fold it.  Bag trash cans, hit the bathroom, do work in the bedroom, then go to the post office.  Waking first, as well as cold tea while I set fresh tea on.  Oh, and set dishes.  I may take another shower, just because... a quicky.  Yeah.  Later.

Going rogue and blind sticking insulin.

.
.
Hmm?  Oh, I had pizza, and soda.  Insulin can sort that out, if you don't kill yourself.  How much to add?  Uhrm, a lot.  I mean a whole bunch.

After a 111 read, I ate a small chunk of lamb, and two small slices of cabbage with butter.  Shouldn't have raised blood sugar at all.  It did, to 161.  I didn't dose until after I ate pizza, but boy did I dose.  After an hour or two, blood sugar is... 125?  I must have dosed well.  Another bite, and dose.  Yeah.  Risks, learning curves, yeah.

The goal is to stay up another hour, and more.  One more draw, just to be on the safer side.  The bed is made, laundry is finishing, but that is it.  The shower was excellent.  I'll get ready for bed then hold out for a check as close to an hour and an half more as possible.  Not great, but some of it.  I will probably update with my last read, as this serves as my blood sugar diary.  Later, probably.
---------



Oh, uhrm...

A start.

.
.
A shave, bedding washed now drying, a shower, with plans for more.  Blood sugar dropped just a bit, to 149, then 120.  I am definitely hungry.  I am hoping I have a few good eggs.  I would really like something meaty.  There are various tuna, vienna sausages, and spam.  But none of those have a real meaty taste or texture.  Hmm... perhaps fried burger or ground lamb, some added to the eggs?

Hmm, as well as the rest of the list, it would be good to soak dishes.  I should be able to get all remaining dishes going.  Oh, I do have a leg of lamb thawed.  It isn't a lot of meat, and it isn't my favorite, but it could be good later.  Mint, rosemary, salt, and pepper, slow cooked for three or four hours?  A good plan.  Hmm, if the cabbage is good that would be a good add.

Later.
--------

Blood sugar went down to 111, then up to 161 from eating four eggs, salsa, and a quart of milk.  Usually raw milk doesn't get me.  Perhaps spring milk is literally sweeter?  I'll cut it to half next time.  I alread cut salsa, which made no difference.  It is the milk.  Eggs don't do that.

The laundry should be finished soon.  Work in the bedroom before long.  The roast should be finished before long too.  I never did check the cabbage.  It it is good it would be the perfect time to slice steaks and put it in.  One second...  amazing... the cabbage was in pristine condition.  It must have just arrived.  I look them over very well.  I have walked away if necessary.  Sliced and in with the leg of lamb.  Very nice.

Still quite tired, but some chores are being done.  Yeah.  I am keeping up on what I am doing.  No nap today.  Oddly, not that kind of tired.  All good.  Oh, I keep writing these then forgetting to post.  Bleh.  Later.

Awake very early.

.
.
At seven and a half down, not really happy about it.  I am rested, so much so I couldn't go back to sleep.  Waking wasn't a choice.  It is that it is so early.  Making to later afternoon is going to be a trick.  It may require a nap around 8:00 to noon, the earlier the better, if I hate 8:00 naps.  Perhaps 10:00 would be optimal.  Though with as wonky as sleep can be I may have to take it when I can get it.

Blood sugar is 165 fasting.  That, too, is annoying.  It was 124 two hours and more after my last meal last night, several hours before bedtime.  Perhaps it is the time of my waking?  On the good side, my average has fallen to 138 for the week, 148 for two weeks, and 165 for the month.  That is quite good.  I kept wondering how I could just get a higher reading and have the average drop.  It is simple.  There are much higher readings dropping out of the set.

Goals remain the same.  I am staying well ahead of what has been done and what needs to be done.  If I could get half a dozen big projects completed this week, say keeping everything already finished topped, plus the bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom completed...  I am just on the edge of truly catching up, getting ahead.  I think I can, and will.  It may not look it, but it is closing in.

I am thinking, after waking, a shower.  I might shave right now, as I time off the hour and quarter to my next blood draw.  Then, after the test, strip bedding, take it back while airing the mattress, shower, then start that wash.  Everything from my last washes have been put up.  So easy when it is all ready to just go.

The post office today, the bed made of course, the bathroom would be easy with the toilet nearly spotless and the worst of the floor clean.  Then back to the bedroom.  Hitting that as absolutely mashingly hard as possible is the goal.  If I can't get one of the storage units up, I want to clear a space for at least one.  But I'd really like one up.  We will see.

Later.

Much better.

.
.
I am never sure.  This reading, that day, this job.  Nothing going as to work.  Just... stuck.  However blood sugar did very well.  A solid drop to 97 with a meal and standard 10 cc insulin dose.  I had another meal, or tried to eat one.  Burger crumble with cheeses, salsa, and sour cream.  I couldn't eat half.  Tasty, just...

Too tired to do anything else.  I have been looking for an opportunity to work or even nap.  Because I can't work doesn't mean I can sleep.  I am finally at the point where I could sleep.  The problem is it is too close to bedtime.  Sleeping now could mess up the day schedule.  Remember, this is the first day of the rest of my life in a day schedule!  Seriously, the game is on.  So no nap.

With sleep being long, I need to sleep early.  For now, 17:00 to 18:00 is the actual goal.  That gets me up before dawn even should I sleep for twelve hours.  Far better if I wake in eight hours.  If sleep shortens an hour or two could be added.  Not more, sometimes less.  The trick will be repairing the cycle should I be forced out of the comfort zone.

To bed in an hour, only that late so another blood sugar draw can be done.  I just want to see.  I have gotten heavy swings both ways.  At these lower levels I just have to be careful.  So tired.  Just the weather?  I've been meaning to check barometric pressure, just to see.  Currently it is 29.88, or as close as possible of a reading to my location.  Not sure what standard is.  Later.
---------

Blood sugar is 122, good enough.  Bedtime.  Good night.

Annoying.

.
.
I should have known better?  I ate right away.  As well, dosed insulin.  Four hours later, blood sugar at 152 was up ten points.  A portion of nuts, a fatted coffee, and something else.  Nothing that would usually have caused an increase in blood sugar.  How so very odd?  Perhaps... no, definitely... I shouldn't eat early.  I then had a fatted tea, and was going to have chia and ground flax cereal, but forgot the latter.  I'll get that going now, then test in a couple more hours.

Trash was sorted and put out, mostly.  Yes, to the curb.  There was some very few items overlooked, if whether more could have fit the bag is questionable.  As well, there wasn't enough more to justify another bag.  Two inside bins are being bleach rinsed as well.  Some work.  Next a shower, shave bedding, changed, and then that laundered.

Oh, I really need to check my post box!  I... am sure there are business functions requiring my immediate attention.  Later.

So much sleep.

.
.
I didn't go to bed until well after 19:30 and I just woke at 5:30.  Ten hours?  Not as bad as it seemed, if still longer than hoped.  I had thought I would be awake by 3:30.  Hoped.  I may still have time to get trash out.  A shower right after that.  I may change bedding out, then start that washing.  In there with else, morning critter duties.

Fasting blood sugar is 142.  It was 182 at bedtime, so some insulin.  Average is 143.  I was awake a bit late as I had to reset my pill box for the week.  I am amazed how well medicine has been going in.  Goals haven't changed, nor attitude.  I can't even say I am subjectively doing or feeling better.  Which throws me.

Because of the improved numbers in various areas of health, I keep trying to do more.  I believe I should be able to do more.  I want to go back to school, get my engineering degree, then get to work.  As mentioned, I would require a year of regular days and nights before considering applying through various systems.  Actually I will count today as a first day for that!  If next late May sees me still in days, it would give me the summer to apply.  Plus... being on the calendar will add motivation.

I'd best get trash gathered and out, then a shower.  Then fresh tea going for a fatted tea with a light dose of insulin... 8 cc's? 6?  I think 8 this time.  Later.

A good showing.

.
.
Not any work, but I will finish the laundry.  It wasn't dry so I reset it.  It should be done.  Blood sugar dropped to 124 after two hours, then further to 102 two hours after that, just now before supper.  Supper was light.  Two drumsticks, two tablespoons of my mother's salsa, a quarter of a can of unsweetened peaches, and half a cup of whipped cream.  Oh, and a quart of milk.

It is past 17:00, so I have kept a day schedule.  Not bad.  Laundry and then to bed.  I'll get the trash out when I wake, I hope.  Oh, a few treats for you dogs, perhaps cats too?  Good night.

A quick note.

.
.
Blood sugar jumped to 157 or 51 points.  After 104 it rose to 106.  While I did eat, the macros were keto and I doubt eight hundred calories, probably closer to five hundred calories?  Though this seems to be a time when my body seems to spike, often without eating.  Which seems very strange to me, as I don't have a regular schedule, can't keep one to save my life.  And yet my blood sugar has some regular schedule?

I did take insulin, 10 cc's as the read was above 150 and I ate just an hour ago.  I have an alarm set to check blood sugar in two hours.  If I don't nap before.  I am going to try to push through.  I want to hit mid to later afternoon before going to bed for the night.  I am attempting to steal day s back as a schedule.

Laundry is drying.  When done it will be put up right away.  Later, perhaps I can get trash out.  Just one more bag, but the bigger bags so it can go to the curb.  Perhaps a shave yet tonight to be ready for the week?  I might even hit the bedroom a bit.  So dark.  I do wish to do more work anyway, or especially?  Yes.  Later.

It's turning out better.

.
.
After an hour another blood sugar check.  At 104 It is good.  I have been so hungry I was a bit worried.  I haven't been hungry in a very long time.  Even then, no where near this level.  It is a good number, if I will check in another hour, before a real meal.  When the fresh hot tea is finished, I will have some, fatted, and a snack... perhaps an ounce of nuts or... something else.  I am out of sardines.  Will get some of those next month.

If blood sugar is good in an hour, I'll wait the regular time before testing again... generally two hours after completing the meal, so between three and four hours after my next read... which will actually be an hour after I finish tea and the snack.  I am less concerned with food going in, but still want to check with blood sugar this low.

I scouted dirty clothes after showering.  There was enough for a medium load.  If I can stay ahead, in any area, I will.  It might be done.  If so, I'll flip it to the dryer, get some tea, and... something.  Perhaps a spam or tuna melt, sans bread, or a few nuts, maybe olives.  Just enough, with tea, to cut the pangs.  Later.

Quite dark out there.

.
.
A shower, medicine, the cats, and soon the ducks.  Blood sugar was 116 an hour ago.  I dosed since sweetened tea was scheduled.  Plain tea and nothing else until two more hours and another blood draw.  All good.  Not sure what to eat.  Two drummies left, which just isn't enough.  Perhaps those while I attempt that cheese casserole.  I do have baking paper, unwaxed.  I would like to try that.

I am feeling a bit weak from hunger.  If I get a bit dizzier and weaker I might test earlier.  My body is being strange as blood sugar drops.  It just isn't used to lower blood sugar.  Actually... 91 is the read.  Really?  I do believe I will check in another hour.  I may have to eat sooner too.

I am beginning to suspect the keto sweeteners only cause spikes when blood sugar is running higher, say above 130 or 150.  Hmm, but it was 182...  I have seen this before, but thought it was a fluke.  But why my blood sugar is dropping now?  It's a bit spooky.  I will just let it run, testing more often.  It can't be injected insulin, that should be gone after four or five hours.  Unless they didn't give me the fast acting insulin.

It's good to be clean.  Later.

Almost ten hours down.

.
.
I don't have to like it.  I did need it.  I woke a a quarter to two yesterday morning, and was awake until 18:00, at least though to bed before 19:00.  Well before.  Up more than eighteen hours, easily adding one or two hours from various roundings.  on a cold dark damp day in a long line of such days?  Okay.  It wasn't all on purpose, but I was able to push through due to blood sugar concern.

Glad I did.  Fasting blood sugar is 182, running average is 150.  Improving.  I could have skipped the final snacks, but trust takes time.  The first health threshold has been reached, the average at or below 150.  The next key is to have fasting blood sugar below 150.  The next hurdle is to keep all draws below 180.  Then to get average and fasting draws to the 130s, then 100's.

I was here recently.  Actually better.  But I wasn't sure how to land the lower readings without crashing.  So I took off to come around for a second landing.  I sure hope this will be it.  I made mistakes last night, jacking my fasting a bit.  It could definitely have been worse.  Now to settle in, cut trim, relax, and taxi in.

Dreams.  Someone was outside.  Spying?  Sort of, not .gov, more a nosy neighbor for a small group of other nosy neighbors.  I didn't know this one, if I think I knew some of his kin.  He didn't see what we were calling a lion but was actually a tiger creeping up behind him.  I warned him through my window and grabbed my walking stick on my way out.  More like a staff, with a solid, perhaps iron clad root bulb at the top.

He sprinted into the garage and around the Xterra.  It was enough to lose the 'lion' for just a bit.  As it came running out, I had gotten out there.  It hadn't seen me.  I wasn't sure it was wise, but, I clobbered it on the head.  It bitched, sputtered, drew back for a lunge.  I drew back for another fast strike.  It lunged, but short of my target for striking, then veered off, careening in a new direction away from us.

My human visitor was shaken, and a bit miffed at both now holding a debt and having been so obviously caught sneaking about.  I made it clear his attitude was unsat.  I suggested he go home and that none return.  And so it was.  I liked that staff.  Iron or steel capped, taller than me, yet somehow rather light and well balanced.  I have dreamed of that staff before, both in other dreams, and of obtaining it by itself.

Other dreams.  But they have mostly faded.  Flying as a dragon.  Searching for a dire evil.  Possibly going to my end.  Such is duty.  But not a forced duty.  A gift.

Now it is time.

.
.
Blood sugar climbed to 120.  While good, I still wanted more assurance, so had a small meal.  A cup of olives, half a can of sugar free peaches plus whipped cream, and a fatted tea.  It sounds much higher carbs than it was.  The peaches have almost no affect, at least not in the past.  And the whipped cream has no carbs.  The olives might have more carbs, actually.

I will get the ducks and girls before bed.  A shower too?  If possible.  It has been a lot longer than hoped, but I have some fear about how fast blood sugar shoots down.  I think 80 is fine, but I don't wish to risk sleeping on that, or even 100 yet, without food and more experience.  Still, it's an amazing, probably good, read.

Oh, a couple videos started a thought process.  I will offer them, but will cut to the chase.  The idea is that giants might have either a lot of health issues or be biologically different.  As well, some of the health issues I have bear resemblance to those illnesses.  Further, altitude illnesses can cause similar problems, or greatly exacerbate those problems.

Troubled, so stayed up a bit longer.

.
.
The drop in blood sugar from 182 to 101 using only 10 cc's of insulin while eating a medium to large meal, with more carbs than I would usually consume, I was concerned.  So I stayed up to test in a few hours.  At that point my blood sugar was down to 80!  I decided to eat right then.  Three chicken drummies with a couple tablespoons of my mothers salsa, and a lightly fatted coffee.  A few hours on and blood sugar is back to 101.  Still, I believe I will have a full fatted tea, test in a few hours, then finally crash.

Want to be annoyed?  By curiosity?  Let's start from the top!

Awake if nothing else.

.
.
I can't be sure when I went to bed.  The intention was to be awake until 17:00.  I don't think I made it to 14:00, though I just don't know.  I fell so hard and fast I can remember nothing.  My last blood sugar read was at 13:24, which was pretty close to when I went to bed, if I had to bet.  It was 180 and I felt as if I was crashing.  Then nothing until I woke.  Fasting blood sugar was 174.  Odd.

Breakfast first thing, the leftover cheese pizza/melt.  A paper plate and microwave, at just a minute fifteen, and it was perfect.  Actually, I will never try to cook it in a pan again.  I've got a serious mess on my hands.  I will have a fatted tea in a bit, then perhaps go back to bed.  I just can't quite figure out what I am doing.

Oh well.  Later, or more likely good night.  Again.
-------

I ended up staying awake longer.  I wanted to see what blood sugar was doing.  It was 174 fasting and 182 a few hours after eating (a reasonably proportioned, definitely keto, meal).  Perturbed, I waited a few more hours.  It is 101 somehow.  I will gladly take it, if it doesn't make perfect sense.  Now I can sleep.  Good night.