.
.
Bedtime ended up being late. Wanted to check blood sugar again. It wasn't until 1:30 that I went down. I woke at 3:30, then roughly every half hour after until I gave up at 5:00 and rolled out. Sleep just wasn't doing any good. I am not feeling well on top of being exceedingly tired, if not in the sleepy sort of that. It is flu-like symptoms.
I don't think it is the flu. It is some long term, usually subdued, illness that never quite goes away. It hides just under the surface, waiting to emerge whenever the chance presents. Some jungle gunk? A remnant of an experimental vaxx from the Navy? Dunno, I just know the specific profile of symptoms. A handful of aspirin, rest, and fluid. I have never gone to the doctor about it. By the time I could get in it would usually be gone. I have this funny feeling that it had something to do with my bad heart.
Blood sugar was 143 fasting. So I had a small keto breakfast with an half insulin dose. Two hours later, and change, it had climbed to 225! That makes absolutely no sense at all. I am having a fatted coffee and a bigger than usual dose. I won't do bp until later, I just took morning meds. It takes a while for them to work.
It looks like a nice day. It was right at 32° at 5:00. Here at 8:34 it is 35°. It doesn't feel that cool... cold. Neither the ducks nor I seem bothered by it. Two fresh eggs as well. Later.
Friday, October 4, 2019
Thursday, October 3, 2019
That was quite a hit.
.
.
Blood sugar was 238, down from 261 waking. I have been eating keto for going on the second day. I hit a second, large, dose after the second reading. I was starting to feel ill. Almost as if my blood sugar was cratering. But that couldn't be it. So I waited for the timer to ring, then checked. At 71 I think that really was the problem.
It isn't the lowest number I have seen. And, when blood sugar is more stable it usually wouldn't be a problem for a few more points. It is both the relative low compared to recent highs. A drop of 167 points in an hour and a half, plus being 350 or so for several days... big changes, fast changes.
I am avoiding carb tabs. The spike can be severe, if it doesn't last long. A tuna sandwich, using keto pita, plus a glass of milk. So tired from the crash though. Still feeling a bit woozy. I want to check blood sugar again an hour after eating. Then I will sleep. I have carb tabs up there, just in case. So tired on top of already being exhausted though. Later, or good night.
-----------
Good call. Food brought blood sugar up to 91. In one sense that is still a bit low. Especially only an hour after eating. It will go down after this. I am feeling better, but still plan to go on to bed again. Better, but not well. That drop really took it out of me. As mentioned, I keep carb tabs up there, and seem to sense a drop coming. I won't question it again, after this. Though, usually, blood sugar rises for me through the night as I sleep.
Good night.
.
Blood sugar was 238, down from 261 waking. I have been eating keto for going on the second day. I hit a second, large, dose after the second reading. I was starting to feel ill. Almost as if my blood sugar was cratering. But that couldn't be it. So I waited for the timer to ring, then checked. At 71 I think that really was the problem.
It isn't the lowest number I have seen. And, when blood sugar is more stable it usually wouldn't be a problem for a few more points. It is both the relative low compared to recent highs. A drop of 167 points in an hour and a half, plus being 350 or so for several days... big changes, fast changes.
I am avoiding carb tabs. The spike can be severe, if it doesn't last long. A tuna sandwich, using keto pita, plus a glass of milk. So tired from the crash though. Still feeling a bit woozy. I want to check blood sugar again an hour after eating. Then I will sleep. I have carb tabs up there, just in case. So tired on top of already being exhausted though. Later, or good night.
-----------
Good call. Food brought blood sugar up to 91. In one sense that is still a bit low. Especially only an hour after eating. It will go down after this. I am feeling better, but still plan to go on to bed again. Better, but not well. That drop really took it out of me. As mentioned, I keep carb tabs up there, and seem to sense a drop coming. I won't question it again, after this. Though, usually, blood sugar rises for me through the night as I sleep.
Good night.
A touch too much?
.
.
Brutal. Sleeping very long. Snoring? The back of my throat is dry and sore as if I had been snoring. A rare thing, with an easy to sense symptom. It happens when I am tired beyond reason. I was, am still, extremely tired. I kept waking today. Some aspects of flesh and mind had slept enough. More sleep seemed an agony. And, yet, I could not break the spell.
It, from what I could see when finally able to wake, was a fantastic fall day. It seemed more a fond memory of a summer day than harkening to days to come. It would have been a great day to get out. Though from this weather to colder is my element... down to negative twenty, perhaps to negative forty. As long as I can get through the gloom, the weather is mine.
Part of the problem may be that bit extra carvedilol. It may be the straw that broke the camel's back. Though to, it my be blood sugar. Being mostly broke toward the end of this month, and having eaten else, I was down to mre's (meals ready to eat), old soup, and crackers. I controlled it for a bit, but at some point all attempts failed. It has been high the last few days. Today I am back into keto, and dosing, but it will take a while.
I will give the extra carvedilol another week, in case it is diabetes. I was hoping to get two more small tabs in. It might not be possible. Got to give it time. This stuff does work, if at a cost. I am doing what I can. Perhaps missing perfection, but that isn't available even to angels or saints.
My brother called today. Since I have figured out controls for my phone, which excludes non-contacts from ringing through, and to keep myself available to calls/texts for help, my phone is with me when sleeping in the day. I like being more available. I was a bit worried about him. He might have thought I had blown him off recently, rather than just be tired lately. I'll try to keep more in touch. Oh, now to figure out how to get it to shut off at night and turn on in the morning.
I do my best. I'll keep at it. Later.
.
Brutal. Sleeping very long. Snoring? The back of my throat is dry and sore as if I had been snoring. A rare thing, with an easy to sense symptom. It happens when I am tired beyond reason. I was, am still, extremely tired. I kept waking today. Some aspects of flesh and mind had slept enough. More sleep seemed an agony. And, yet, I could not break the spell.
It, from what I could see when finally able to wake, was a fantastic fall day. It seemed more a fond memory of a summer day than harkening to days to come. It would have been a great day to get out. Though from this weather to colder is my element... down to negative twenty, perhaps to negative forty. As long as I can get through the gloom, the weather is mine.
Part of the problem may be that bit extra carvedilol. It may be the straw that broke the camel's back. Though to, it my be blood sugar. Being mostly broke toward the end of this month, and having eaten else, I was down to mre's (meals ready to eat), old soup, and crackers. I controlled it for a bit, but at some point all attempts failed. It has been high the last few days. Today I am back into keto, and dosing, but it will take a while.
I will give the extra carvedilol another week, in case it is diabetes. I was hoping to get two more small tabs in. It might not be possible. Got to give it time. This stuff does work, if at a cost. I am doing what I can. Perhaps missing perfection, but that isn't available even to angels or saints.
My brother called today. Since I have figured out controls for my phone, which excludes non-contacts from ringing through, and to keep myself available to calls/texts for help, my phone is with me when sleeping in the day. I like being more available. I was a bit worried about him. He might have thought I had blown him off recently, rather than just be tired lately. I'll try to keep more in touch. Oh, now to figure out how to get it to shut off at night and turn on in the morning.
I do my best. I'll keep at it. Later.
Wednesday, October 2, 2019
So tired.
.
.
Weary i ways I can't put rightly in words. For there are no words which convey the depths, level, complexity, of this vex. I have had worse, but as with pain, memory cannot capture these things, as pictures fail to capture pets or even people. Look back through photos of lost pets, friends, and family to get an understanding.
It is a combination of fall and the continued titration. Carvedilol is extremely potent stuff. With pulse hitting sub 80s regularly, I am probably on the verge of maximum. It is turning into a beautiful fall, if a slightly cool one. Cool is good for me, but it is a gift with a cost.
No, I haven't gotten out to walk. Something comes up, or... Yes, I will. But I really can't do a lot in a day. And, as mentioned with walking initially, I can't do something exercise wise or like daily. So, if I do and am worn, I won't walk that day or the next. And, as for my part, I would rather be out doing something real, if the opportunity presents, than just walking.
Oh, found my car keys. But I found them where they couldn't have been. They were in a place I checked every time I looked, usually a first to third place, and on top of paperwork from last week. Very strange. Ghosts or sneaks. Don't care now that they are back. Will get two more sets, plus some chipless. Have not lost my other car keys.
Ugh. A bit worn. Just getting to town pounds me. I need to get groceries soon. I am tight, financially this month, but am nearly caught up. I am still behind on one utility bill and milk. I can get milk, and put some, and extra, on the utility, and actually eat this month. But that is mostly all, and just.
Next month I can breath for the first time in a while. Ugh. Yeah, too tired to blog. Will, try to do more again. Later.
.
Weary i ways I can't put rightly in words. For there are no words which convey the depths, level, complexity, of this vex. I have had worse, but as with pain, memory cannot capture these things, as pictures fail to capture pets or even people. Look back through photos of lost pets, friends, and family to get an understanding.
It is a combination of fall and the continued titration. Carvedilol is extremely potent stuff. With pulse hitting sub 80s regularly, I am probably on the verge of maximum. It is turning into a beautiful fall, if a slightly cool one. Cool is good for me, but it is a gift with a cost.
No, I haven't gotten out to walk. Something comes up, or... Yes, I will. But I really can't do a lot in a day. And, as mentioned with walking initially, I can't do something exercise wise or like daily. So, if I do and am worn, I won't walk that day or the next. And, as for my part, I would rather be out doing something real, if the opportunity presents, than just walking.
Oh, found my car keys. But I found them where they couldn't have been. They were in a place I checked every time I looked, usually a first to third place, and on top of paperwork from last week. Very strange. Ghosts or sneaks. Don't care now that they are back. Will get two more sets, plus some chipless. Have not lost my other car keys.
Ugh. A bit worn. Just getting to town pounds me. I need to get groceries soon. I am tight, financially this month, but am nearly caught up. I am still behind on one utility bill and milk. I can get milk, and put some, and extra, on the utility, and actually eat this month. But that is mostly all, and just.
Next month I can breath for the first time in a while. Ugh. Yeah, too tired to blog. Will, try to do more again. Later.
Monday, September 30, 2019
Without comment.
.
.
At some risk. As it arrived.
If you do not wish to know? Don't look. I see what I see, and it goes here.
Not mine. A part of it? Which part, if so?
.
At some risk. As it arrived.
If you do not wish to know? Don't look. I see what I see, and it goes here.
Not mine. A part of it? Which part, if so?
Fog.
.
.
Without looking at the clock, I just kept expecting the sun to show. At some point I started to worry. Is it already that late in the season? Had dawn slipped into midmorning? Finally I simply had to see. Not a light fog, a thick one. One a thought could be given to getting a bowl of it.
By seven thirty enough light was trickling through to safely let the ducks out. Only one had layed an egg. I suspect low light will do that. They were really happy to be let out. The cats have been fed as well. And given a snack. I don't think Sassy can lose weight, at this point. Still, perhaps she can keep from adding weight.
After a dose, a fatted tea, and two hours, blood sugar had only dropped to 173, five points. Very strange. So, a meal and a bigger dose. While I want to nap, or more, I want to see what is happening with blood sugar first. I need it to be going down, or hit it again. There is no good reason for insulin not to have worked. BP is 137/91 with a pulse of 78.
At least there is some sun. Or light I should say. It helps. Later.
.
Without looking at the clock, I just kept expecting the sun to show. At some point I started to worry. Is it already that late in the season? Had dawn slipped into midmorning? Finally I simply had to see. Not a light fog, a thick one. One a thought could be given to getting a bowl of it.
By seven thirty enough light was trickling through to safely let the ducks out. Only one had layed an egg. I suspect low light will do that. They were really happy to be let out. The cats have been fed as well. And given a snack. I don't think Sassy can lose weight, at this point. Still, perhaps she can keep from adding weight.
After a dose, a fatted tea, and two hours, blood sugar had only dropped to 173, five points. Very strange. So, a meal and a bigger dose. While I want to nap, or more, I want to see what is happening with blood sugar first. I need it to be going down, or hit it again. There is no good reason for insulin not to have worked. BP is 137/91 with a pulse of 78.
At least there is some sun. Or light I should say. It helps. Later.
A bit tight this morning.
.
.
Not sure what the problem is, exactly. A grand headache as a base symptom. At least it isn't a migraine. Mostly from stiff neck muscles. Sleeping at the wrong angle? Some nights no correct, or good, angle can be found. I think last night was one, for I did try. Down at 21:00ish, awake at 3:08, with a .mil sort of dream to match. I love it when a plan comes together.
In the dream, I met a soldier, became friends. I also got to know his commanding officer, as a friend as well. As they were heading to their next duty station, in Tennessee, I talked myself into driving, helping drive, out that way. Then wanting to back out. In the dream, as now, I was a bit low on cash, it was the end of the month but the next month was going to be harsh as well.
He sort of kept me to my promise, so... a promise is a promise. Half way there, they said it was all good, not to worry about costs, but didn't explain. When we arrived, they hooked me up with temporary housing and explained. About ten of the soldiers, and the c.o., were retiring and going into construction. They thought I could be useful.
As the next week went on, my job was clarified. They realized I couldn't work actual construction. But what I could do was be a tool and expendables master. What I couldn't do, I could arrange. Part time, rent, gas, a truck, and else, rather than pay. I wasn't sure, for a number of reasons. Turns out they already knew everything. Didn't care as long as it stayed private. All good.
It was good to work with .mil types again. These really were the best of the lot. Hard workers, willing and able to think on their feet, learn, and teach. In time the company picked up a company of vets, in many fields, uptrained or shifted, overlapping and covering new areas, until we could build or destroy just about anything.
And the feel was the good parts of the service without the bad... the brotherhood and hard work without shit pay and long spits away from home, or so far and out of touch. A very good dream. Yes, I love to work, it just isn't possible in real terms. Waking, without choice, at 3:08? I will need a nap, probably, hopefully, before dawn. Though, possibly, either way, my day is already shot.
Meds are down. Blood sugar is 178 fasting. Oh, and... I woke to a clock ticking. A gentle, rhythmic, clicking mechanism. I realized, first, that all of my clocks are digital. Then that it was my heart. I was pleasantly surprised. It was my heart. Until this time, any time for a very long time, that I could hear it, it was as thunder. This time it was as a precise best German craftsmanship timepiece. What a beautiful sound, metallic sounding, and so meticulous. BP is 146/90 with a pulse of 78.
Good morning and day.
.
Not sure what the problem is, exactly. A grand headache as a base symptom. At least it isn't a migraine. Mostly from stiff neck muscles. Sleeping at the wrong angle? Some nights no correct, or good, angle can be found. I think last night was one, for I did try. Down at 21:00ish, awake at 3:08, with a .mil sort of dream to match. I love it when a plan comes together.
In the dream, I met a soldier, became friends. I also got to know his commanding officer, as a friend as well. As they were heading to their next duty station, in Tennessee, I talked myself into driving, helping drive, out that way. Then wanting to back out. In the dream, as now, I was a bit low on cash, it was the end of the month but the next month was going to be harsh as well.
He sort of kept me to my promise, so... a promise is a promise. Half way there, they said it was all good, not to worry about costs, but didn't explain. When we arrived, they hooked me up with temporary housing and explained. About ten of the soldiers, and the c.o., were retiring and going into construction. They thought I could be useful.
As the next week went on, my job was clarified. They realized I couldn't work actual construction. But what I could do was be a tool and expendables master. What I couldn't do, I could arrange. Part time, rent, gas, a truck, and else, rather than pay. I wasn't sure, for a number of reasons. Turns out they already knew everything. Didn't care as long as it stayed private. All good.
It was good to work with .mil types again. These really were the best of the lot. Hard workers, willing and able to think on their feet, learn, and teach. In time the company picked up a company of vets, in many fields, uptrained or shifted, overlapping and covering new areas, until we could build or destroy just about anything.
And the feel was the good parts of the service without the bad... the brotherhood and hard work without shit pay and long spits away from home, or so far and out of touch. A very good dream. Yes, I love to work, it just isn't possible in real terms. Waking, without choice, at 3:08? I will need a nap, probably, hopefully, before dawn. Though, possibly, either way, my day is already shot.
Meds are down. Blood sugar is 178 fasting. Oh, and... I woke to a clock ticking. A gentle, rhythmic, clicking mechanism. I realized, first, that all of my clocks are digital. Then that it was my heart. I was pleasantly surprised. It was my heart. Until this time, any time for a very long time, that I could hear it, it was as thunder. This time it was as a precise best German craftsmanship timepiece. What a beautiful sound, metallic sounding, and so meticulous. BP is 146/90 with a pulse of 78.
Good morning and day.
Sunday, September 29, 2019
The rain is finished.
.
.
It stopped for now. The sun was out for a while. I noticed when I put the ducks up. Perhaps before? Definitely by then. Seemed pretty cool, cold really. Sunshine will, could, help. It was good to see some sun after an intense set of rainy days. It was incredibly dark, and the amount of rain was spooky. It almost had to have flooded some places?
Then again, even if a bit of a downer, to see it storm like that was neat. I love weather events and that certainly was one. We very rarely get extended events here. Lightning and thunder? Oh yes, both of those. The times I watched, when thunder could be heard, lightning couldn't be seen though.
A bite to eat. Down to mre's. I need to figure some things out. After bills, food this month. We will see. I really need meat, but that has gone off the charts. I have to go with canned veggies, for most of it, or it gets wasted. Bills, food, and cat litter. A last rough financial month, mostly.
I am already ready for bed. I am hoping to wake at a reasonable hour. Then finish off dishes, take a shower, rest and wake, then go for a walk. It is a reasonable hope, plan... Good night.
.
It stopped for now. The sun was out for a while. I noticed when I put the ducks up. Perhaps before? Definitely by then. Seemed pretty cool, cold really. Sunshine will, could, help. It was good to see some sun after an intense set of rainy days. It was incredibly dark, and the amount of rain was spooky. It almost had to have flooded some places?
Then again, even if a bit of a downer, to see it storm like that was neat. I love weather events and that certainly was one. We very rarely get extended events here. Lightning and thunder? Oh yes, both of those. The times I watched, when thunder could be heard, lightning couldn't be seen though.
A bite to eat. Down to mre's. I need to figure some things out. After bills, food this month. We will see. I really need meat, but that has gone off the charts. I have to go with canned veggies, for most of it, or it gets wasted. Bills, food, and cat litter. A last rough financial month, mostly.
I am already ready for bed. I am hoping to wake at a reasonable hour. Then finish off dishes, take a shower, rest and wake, then go for a walk. It is a reasonable hope, plan... Good night.
Depressing weather.
.
.
A short term fix is to turn the furnace up a bit. Well, and to not fight sleep. Fix? Not quite, perhaps more treatments. There is no cure for melancholy. Less so seasonal. The sun went away for several days, it has been pouring, and it was 38° this morning... if my morning was 14:00.
I had the furnace at 72° overnight. It was 63° upstairs, which is a extremely good sleeping temperature. Waking was a little shaky, but once down into the warmth it was much better. I even needed to turn the furnace down to 70°. I may turn it down further through the day. If I could do regular days, I would set the furnace for a morning warmth. Long enough to wake, warm, shower, dress, and then have it at about 66°.
Blood sugar is 171 fasting, but I haven't been eating right, so it is actually better than anticipated. I will check bp after meds have had a chance to do their thing. I talked them into adding just a bit more carvedilol. I have added an extra of the small dose at night. If that goes well, a morning dose will be added. At nose-bleed dosage already, tiny titration is required.
Monday, tomorrow, is walk day. I should get rain gear, a canteen, and perhaps a minor pack set up. I don't really need a pack, but I... if I am going to walk, I might as well gear up for hiking or even snowshoeing. Plus, it adds an adventure element to the program. Now, if I don't have it all together, I will just go anyway. I am sure I have rain gear somewhere right handy. And, if a bit larger than warranted, I have several steel thermos jugs ready... more for V.A. travel days... but stuff in a pack and go. Boots and shoes are ready. Monday. Later.
.
A short term fix is to turn the furnace up a bit. Well, and to not fight sleep. Fix? Not quite, perhaps more treatments. There is no cure for melancholy. Less so seasonal. The sun went away for several days, it has been pouring, and it was 38° this morning... if my morning was 14:00.
I had the furnace at 72° overnight. It was 63° upstairs, which is a extremely good sleeping temperature. Waking was a little shaky, but once down into the warmth it was much better. I even needed to turn the furnace down to 70°. I may turn it down further through the day. If I could do regular days, I would set the furnace for a morning warmth. Long enough to wake, warm, shower, dress, and then have it at about 66°.
Blood sugar is 171 fasting, but I haven't been eating right, so it is actually better than anticipated. I will check bp after meds have had a chance to do their thing. I talked them into adding just a bit more carvedilol. I have added an extra of the small dose at night. If that goes well, a morning dose will be added. At nose-bleed dosage already, tiny titration is required.
Monday, tomorrow, is walk day. I should get rain gear, a canteen, and perhaps a minor pack set up. I don't really need a pack, but I... if I am going to walk, I might as well gear up for hiking or even snowshoeing. Plus, it adds an adventure element to the program. Now, if I don't have it all together, I will just go anyway. I am sure I have rain gear somewhere right handy. And, if a bit larger than warranted, I have several steel thermos jugs ready... more for V.A. travel days... but stuff in a pack and go. Boots and shoes are ready. Monday. Later.
Saturday, September 28, 2019
I made it to ten-ish.
.
.
Perhaps an half hour past. I called my mother. She is sounding much better. Chiropractor, she says. The guy has been in the area since I first got out of the service. Back when I absolutely didn't believe in them. It's not that... I buy their schtick fully now, only I have seen it fix what medical says doesn't exist. They are all half-shills and shysters, selling cures to ailments only they can diagnose. Half right, three quarters bullshit. They have come up, docs have gone down, both are considered too self interested advisors.
Still, it was good to hear her chipper. Tough old bird, has been all my life, but by realities she wanted no more than others wanted. Pain makes you delicately powerful, too powerful, too delicate. She is even back to work. It is very part time, but enough so she isn't choking on nickles, dimes, even pennies.
Sleep was fantastic. I just woke at fourteen forty five. Tired from recent efforts. Lungs burning a bit, chest and all tight, but in the good way. Driving in hard fast mean traffic, after not driving for months means white knuckle driving, which tightens everything up, wears me down. Plus all that running around, talking, explaining, to often hostile seeming people. And various early efforts.
Don't get me wrong. I am jealous of my mother. I would work part time if I could. My sleep patterns eat me. A boss needs an employee at specific times. Not when he can be awake, and then if he can work. I am grateful for the pushing, and that I could keep at it. I will take opportunities as possible. Especially now that it is cooling off.
Ugh, four appointments coming up. Three next month and one in early January. On the good side, a1c is 7.1, down from 7.8, down from 10.3?, down from 11.9? Something like that. BP keeps jumping up and down. If I haven't slept enough, best not check it, 158/99 if pulse was 71. Without eating or dosing, blood sugar went from 80 at my first waking to 150 now. Yeah. Still, 150 is a better fasting number even itself.
Hmm... on to waking. Later.
.
Perhaps an half hour past. I called my mother. She is sounding much better. Chiropractor, she says. The guy has been in the area since I first got out of the service. Back when I absolutely didn't believe in them. It's not that... I buy their schtick fully now, only I have seen it fix what medical says doesn't exist. They are all half-shills and shysters, selling cures to ailments only they can diagnose. Half right, three quarters bullshit. They have come up, docs have gone down, both are considered too self interested advisors.
Still, it was good to hear her chipper. Tough old bird, has been all my life, but by realities she wanted no more than others wanted. Pain makes you delicately powerful, too powerful, too delicate. She is even back to work. It is very part time, but enough so she isn't choking on nickles, dimes, even pennies.
Sleep was fantastic. I just woke at fourteen forty five. Tired from recent efforts. Lungs burning a bit, chest and all tight, but in the good way. Driving in hard fast mean traffic, after not driving for months means white knuckle driving, which tightens everything up, wears me down. Plus all that running around, talking, explaining, to often hostile seeming people. And various early efforts.
Don't get me wrong. I am jealous of my mother. I would work part time if I could. My sleep patterns eat me. A boss needs an employee at specific times. Not when he can be awake, and then if he can work. I am grateful for the pushing, and that I could keep at it. I will take opportunities as possible. Especially now that it is cooling off.
Ugh, four appointments coming up. Three next month and one in early January. On the good side, a1c is 7.1, down from 7.8, down from 10.3?, down from 11.9? Something like that. BP keeps jumping up and down. If I haven't slept enough, best not check it, 158/99 if pulse was 71. Without eating or dosing, blood sugar went from 80 at my first waking to 150 now. Yeah. Still, 150 is a better fasting number even itself.
Hmm... on to waking. Later.
Who needs sleep!?!
.
.
Who am I kidding? Why I couldn't get to sleep until four, why I am waking at change before eight? Raining. A cold fall rain. I feared freezing rain. No, it's 45º. A darned cold rain, I found, as I also found a hole in the roof of my back sloop porch, right on the way to check the temp. Actually the leak is in the middle of the door just outside. Sabotage for locking the back doors.
Sleep was good. Can't figure out why I am not still sleeping. I am still rather tired... to the point of that being painful. I don't understand, but will take it. I prefer real mornings, if I seem allergic to them. I best get fresh tea going, the warmth will be welcome.
Now, on the good side, fasting blood sugar is 80! It is truly fasting. It has been eight hours since my last meal, more. However, this is more like 'midnight' in my schedule than a real morning. So... It's... If it is 80 to a hundred for the next few mornings... I mean, neat but likely an outlier.
If I see, hear, a break, I'll let the ducks out. The love to just stand in the rain. And 45º to them is like 75° to us? I will keep there food just inside their hutch, keep it dry, remind them they have a dry place if the want it. Silly birds sometimes. Later.
.
Who am I kidding? Why I couldn't get to sleep until four, why I am waking at change before eight? Raining. A cold fall rain. I feared freezing rain. No, it's 45º. A darned cold rain, I found, as I also found a hole in the roof of my back sloop porch, right on the way to check the temp. Actually the leak is in the middle of the door just outside. Sabotage for locking the back doors.
Sleep was good. Can't figure out why I am not still sleeping. I am still rather tired... to the point of that being painful. I don't understand, but will take it. I prefer real mornings, if I seem allergic to them. I best get fresh tea going, the warmth will be welcome.
Now, on the good side, fasting blood sugar is 80! It is truly fasting. It has been eight hours since my last meal, more. However, this is more like 'midnight' in my schedule than a real morning. So... It's... If it is 80 to a hundred for the next few mornings... I mean, neat but likely an outlier.
If I see, hear, a break, I'll let the ducks out. The love to just stand in the rain. And 45º to them is like 75° to us? I will keep there food just inside their hutch, keep it dry, remind them they have a dry place if the want it. Silly birds sometimes. Later.
Friday, September 27, 2019
Busted, dripping pain, but...
.
.
Lots of things and places hurt. I am so tired most of it is a blur. Oblivion without obliviousness? Yeah. Still, pleased with what brought me here. Two minor outings and an honest start to dishes? Yeah, but for a start I will take it. Aspirin! I hurt so much but can't understand where or how. I just know a diffuse wall, or waves of pain? A bit of both, like being in fog with rain, both of which induce differing sorts of pain, often overlapping! Brilliant, as suffering goes.
I forgot to lock the ducks away. Which happens. So far they survive, the remaining ducks. If I didn't mention, I realize all three of the hens are laying. One of them is kicking out terribly malformed eggs, I now realize. One of the hens was hurt but not killed by the dog, I wonder if that is the problem. I won't cull her.
Oh, no walking today. Monday. And, thankfully, it is cooling. I can deal with the cold, even severe cold, better than even 70º weather. While I have learned to live in 70º plus temperatures, working in it is dangerous, or can be. I turned the furnace to 70º last night, forgot to turn it down... so used to sub-70's that it was too hot this morning, right through the floor. Oh well. I am giving them a shower this morning... they so love the sprinkler.
Blood sugar keeps lowering a bit per day. Seemingly better yesterday, but with sleep and dosing, yesterday morning wasn't a real morning. From the mornings before, it continues to drop between ten and twenty, day over day. BP IS 139/89 with a pulse of 77 first shot, right arm. I am certain I could shave at least ten off each by switching arms and prayer, but this... is good, especially knowing what I just wrote.
Did I start tea? Warm fatted coffee sounds delicious. With it cool out, having been out, and with a door ajar without a lid, it feels cooler. Hmm, a fan might help too. Once I get used to the cool, even 70º becomes oppressive. Ogre? No. Frost or storm giant, to be sure.
Hmm? I think that is about it? Yes, yes indeed. Be well, be good, and... enjoy, even if it hurts to do so. Trust me, I am a doctor. If I tell you to do, without crying, what I cannot? I advise you merely contemplate the beautifully contrarian seeming truth on your private tree of woe. I will always be with you, in spirit, in joyful suffering. But more, work if you can. I am hoping to finish dishes, and maybe a load of laundry, today. Tomorrow at worst. Yes, be well... even if you aren't!
.
Lots of things and places hurt. I am so tired most of it is a blur. Oblivion without obliviousness? Yeah. Still, pleased with what brought me here. Two minor outings and an honest start to dishes? Yeah, but for a start I will take it. Aspirin! I hurt so much but can't understand where or how. I just know a diffuse wall, or waves of pain? A bit of both, like being in fog with rain, both of which induce differing sorts of pain, often overlapping! Brilliant, as suffering goes.
I forgot to lock the ducks away. Which happens. So far they survive, the remaining ducks. If I didn't mention, I realize all three of the hens are laying. One of them is kicking out terribly malformed eggs, I now realize. One of the hens was hurt but not killed by the dog, I wonder if that is the problem. I won't cull her.
Oh, no walking today. Monday. And, thankfully, it is cooling. I can deal with the cold, even severe cold, better than even 70º weather. While I have learned to live in 70º plus temperatures, working in it is dangerous, or can be. I turned the furnace to 70º last night, forgot to turn it down... so used to sub-70's that it was too hot this morning, right through the floor. Oh well. I am giving them a shower this morning... they so love the sprinkler.
Blood sugar keeps lowering a bit per day. Seemingly better yesterday, but with sleep and dosing, yesterday morning wasn't a real morning. From the mornings before, it continues to drop between ten and twenty, day over day. BP IS 139/89 with a pulse of 77 first shot, right arm. I am certain I could shave at least ten off each by switching arms and prayer, but this... is good, especially knowing what I just wrote.
Did I start tea? Warm fatted coffee sounds delicious. With it cool out, having been out, and with a door ajar without a lid, it feels cooler. Hmm, a fan might help too. Once I get used to the cool, even 70º becomes oppressive. Ogre? No. Frost or storm giant, to be sure.
Hmm? I think that is about it? Yes, yes indeed. Be well, be good, and... enjoy, even if it hurts to do so. Trust me, I am a doctor. If I tell you to do, without crying, what I cannot? I advise you merely contemplate the beautifully contrarian seeming truth on your private tree of woe. I will always be with you, in spirit, in joyful suffering. But more, work if you can. I am hoping to finish dishes, and maybe a load of laundry, today. Tomorrow at worst. Yes, be well... even if you aren't!
Thursday, September 26, 2019
Not just sitting around.
.
.
As busy as life gets it has been for the last few days. So, too, tired. Too tired to post.
Yesterday, starting midafternoon, I went along, mostly for a ride. Though if you are going to be taking water samples from four foot dig wells, having an ogre, at least a relatively non-hostile one, around can be helpful. I can act as an standing anchor point to even a humble two hundred pounder.
Around we went, doing this and that, until nightfall. I was utterly spent, as much from being outside as any activity, but glad for it. So, no blogging. My sleep patterns are twisting as if in a tornado. I couldn't sleep until nearly three, but had to be to the V.A. by almost nine... primary care, new doc. I made it.
I had started trusting, in a limited way, my last doctor. This new doctor has benefited from that. I refuse to just go along, with everything. But, after an explanation, I have gone with one suggestion, a holdover from my last doc, am going with another offer tentatively, but am initially and probably finally refusing statins. I did concede to review the specific medicine he would be proposing. And so I will... antorvastatin if I read right. Block print, I bet he can't write legibly in cursive! :p
After that I had to put in for travel, pick up medicine which requires two lines... short ones today, get blood lab work, and remembered to locate and utilize information allowance office to get social security administration my last two years of files, plus open my files to any other requests from them. It's as much as I can do.
The drive home was harsh. That was a lot of running, a long drive earlier, and little sleep as was. I let the ducks out, fed the cats, sat for a bit in an attempt to gather wits and thoughts to post, but ultimately spent ten minutes watching vids until I crashed so hard my ears are ringing. I have no idea when I went to bed. I have no idea when I got home. I woke a bit after twenty two hundred. Well rested if quite tired.
Oh, the doc asked me to start walking. He requested an half hour five times a week. Request denied out of hand. Not possible, at the very least not yet. I did offer three times a week. If I can't start today, I will start Monday. I have no faith walking will help of or by itself, but it might be a gateway to swimming and hiking. If even those are limited, they... have some minor potential.
So... there you go. At least you know I haven't just encamped seclusion and the great big empty. Ugh, though, but glad for it. Later.
.
As busy as life gets it has been for the last few days. So, too, tired. Too tired to post.
Yesterday, starting midafternoon, I went along, mostly for a ride. Though if you are going to be taking water samples from four foot dig wells, having an ogre, at least a relatively non-hostile one, around can be helpful. I can act as an standing anchor point to even a humble two hundred pounder.
Around we went, doing this and that, until nightfall. I was utterly spent, as much from being outside as any activity, but glad for it. So, no blogging. My sleep patterns are twisting as if in a tornado. I couldn't sleep until nearly three, but had to be to the V.A. by almost nine... primary care, new doc. I made it.
I had started trusting, in a limited way, my last doctor. This new doctor has benefited from that. I refuse to just go along, with everything. But, after an explanation, I have gone with one suggestion, a holdover from my last doc, am going with another offer tentatively, but am initially and probably finally refusing statins. I did concede to review the specific medicine he would be proposing. And so I will... antorvastatin if I read right. Block print, I bet he can't write legibly in cursive! :p
After that I had to put in for travel, pick up medicine which requires two lines... short ones today, get blood lab work, and remembered to locate and utilize information allowance office to get social security administration my last two years of files, plus open my files to any other requests from them. It's as much as I can do.
The drive home was harsh. That was a lot of running, a long drive earlier, and little sleep as was. I let the ducks out, fed the cats, sat for a bit in an attempt to gather wits and thoughts to post, but ultimately spent ten minutes watching vids until I crashed so hard my ears are ringing. I have no idea when I went to bed. I have no idea when I got home. I woke a bit after twenty two hundred. Well rested if quite tired.
Oh, the doc asked me to start walking. He requested an half hour five times a week. Request denied out of hand. Not possible, at the very least not yet. I did offer three times a week. If I can't start today, I will start Monday. I have no faith walking will help of or by itself, but it might be a gateway to swimming and hiking. If even those are limited, they... have some minor potential.
So... there you go. At least you know I haven't just encamped seclusion and the great big empty. Ugh, though, but glad for it. Later.
Wednesday, September 25, 2019
Better stats as I head to a nap.
.
.
Nap? Who knows. Anyway...
Blood sugar went right down with a standard dose. It went to 127 then 119 and back up to 135 after a meal per the first two numbers and several hours after the last meal. I did do an eight cc dose with the first read and meal. Trying to keep the numbers in trim. Right, wrong? Or is it just the numbers that count?
BP was a bit better, at 134/84 with a pulse of 77. That after somewhat intense gaming.
It, neither, always makes sense. Usually they follow food and medicine, right until they don't. Very good numbers, given everything. Ugh, though, it's been a slog.
I have been cleaning and cycling my tea jars tonight. I wasn't up to much else. If stats are any indication, and sometimes they are, the future holds real opportunity. Summer is gone, with it the heat. I can dress for the cool and cold better than anything regarding heat. And tolerances and relearning to layer clothing has truly improved life, even in high summer. The darkness is another matter.
A nap, perhaps more. Sleep and waking aren't tracking well, but if called, I might be able to get things together... with lead time. Possibly. Later, or much later.
.
Nap? Who knows. Anyway...
Blood sugar went right down with a standard dose. It went to 127 then 119 and back up to 135 after a meal per the first two numbers and several hours after the last meal. I did do an eight cc dose with the first read and meal. Trying to keep the numbers in trim. Right, wrong? Or is it just the numbers that count?
BP was a bit better, at 134/84 with a pulse of 77. That after somewhat intense gaming.
It, neither, always makes sense. Usually they follow food and medicine, right until they don't. Very good numbers, given everything. Ugh, though, it's been a slog.
I have been cleaning and cycling my tea jars tonight. I wasn't up to much else. If stats are any indication, and sometimes they are, the future holds real opportunity. Summer is gone, with it the heat. I can dress for the cool and cold better than anything regarding heat. And tolerances and relearning to layer clothing has truly improved life, even in high summer. The darkness is another matter.
A nap, perhaps more. Sleep and waking aren't tracking well, but if called, I might be able to get things together... with lead time. Possibly. Later, or much later.
Tuesday, September 24, 2019
Again with the blood sugar.
.
.
After getting it to plunge quite strangely, without food, it started rising after that initial meal. I let it go until after six hours of not eating, it had reached 145. I had a meal, took a normal dose, and this morning (afternoon to normal folk), as I woke, it is 180 fasting. Annoying. But I won't dose below 150ish, give or take and considering trend.
BP is 145/100 pulse 75. Better. Oh, I really need to... no, I'll... I've got it. I sometimes forget the left hand, so focused on the right. It's all good when it's all good.
Sleep was good. I did some dishes, and will soon tell of a new man-method. I also finally made it to the post. Our new postman is tolerant. I pushed it a bit far this time, through failure not orneriness. I need to not do that... find a way. Don't test good things.
Ah, the man method... for washing dishes. I purchased a set for car washing using a drill. I have never gotten around to using those for the intended purpose. So, 2 + 3 +5 = 10, of course. I pulled the system out, attached it to the drill, and... zoom, zoom zoom zoom! Now, it won't work on everything... namely the inside of bottles... which I am looking into changing. But pots, pans, cutlery, utensils, the outside of bottles, and a few other things? ZOOM!
What it costs in arm strength it saves in bent back time. It does well. I suspect a copper wire or steel brush can be attached just through pressure coupling for more serious scrubbing, as well, a barkeeper's or ajax powder can be used for lighter, more delicate scrubbing, or on reflective stainless. Yeah. I haven't done a lot, yet. Still wasn't up to it. Today. If it is worth it, for the rest of you bach's out there, with power tools... and no dishwasher of either sort... there you go. Plus, it will be exercise.
Oh, as the world cools... I was a bit fearful the upstairs would get too cold. It was getting to 61º up there. Which, mostly, is okay. Sometimes the heart or diabetes causes a weakness to even that mild of a cool temperature. Then again, 71º can be a bit cold to me, with certain givens.
As it turns out, if I set the furnace to 70º, without opening the foot and a half vent, the furnace keeps the floor region about 68°, and the waste high temperature about 65°. In the winter, at times, I want the furnace on, to offer a buffer in case of an extended power outage. I really need to figure out a solar alternative, say a 100 watt system, dedicated as backup. The furnace runs, it simply doesn't have a forced blower, in a grid down.
Tidbits, perhaps chuckles, for your day. Good day, afternoon.
.
After getting it to plunge quite strangely, without food, it started rising after that initial meal. I let it go until after six hours of not eating, it had reached 145. I had a meal, took a normal dose, and this morning (afternoon to normal folk), as I woke, it is 180 fasting. Annoying. But I won't dose below 150ish, give or take and considering trend.
BP is 145/100 pulse 75. Better. Oh, I really need to... no, I'll... I've got it. I sometimes forget the left hand, so focused on the right. It's all good when it's all good.
Sleep was good. I did some dishes, and will soon tell of a new man-method. I also finally made it to the post. Our new postman is tolerant. I pushed it a bit far this time, through failure not orneriness. I need to not do that... find a way. Don't test good things.
Ah, the man method... for washing dishes. I purchased a set for car washing using a drill. I have never gotten around to using those for the intended purpose. So, 2 + 3 +5 = 10, of course. I pulled the system out, attached it to the drill, and... zoom, zoom zoom zoom! Now, it won't work on everything... namely the inside of bottles... which I am looking into changing. But pots, pans, cutlery, utensils, the outside of bottles, and a few other things? ZOOM!
What it costs in arm strength it saves in bent back time. It does well. I suspect a copper wire or steel brush can be attached just through pressure coupling for more serious scrubbing, as well, a barkeeper's or ajax powder can be used for lighter, more delicate scrubbing, or on reflective stainless. Yeah. I haven't done a lot, yet. Still wasn't up to it. Today. If it is worth it, for the rest of you bach's out there, with power tools... and no dishwasher of either sort... there you go. Plus, it will be exercise.
Oh, as the world cools... I was a bit fearful the upstairs would get too cold. It was getting to 61º up there. Which, mostly, is okay. Sometimes the heart or diabetes causes a weakness to even that mild of a cool temperature. Then again, 71º can be a bit cold to me, with certain givens.
As it turns out, if I set the furnace to 70º, without opening the foot and a half vent, the furnace keeps the floor region about 68°, and the waste high temperature about 65°. In the winter, at times, I want the furnace on, to offer a buffer in case of an extended power outage. I really need to figure out a solar alternative, say a 100 watt system, dedicated as backup. The furnace runs, it simply doesn't have a forced blower, in a grid down.
Tidbits, perhaps chuckles, for your day. Good day, afternoon.
Monday, September 23, 2019
Blood sugar is acting up.
.
.
Waking blood sugar was 151 definitely fasting. I had a fatted coffee and... something else, something keto and light, plus a light dose of insulin. I wasn't sure about the insulin, so I added a fatted tea (more like an half cup of cream per, as I am cutting calories). A few hours later, blood sugar was 193 (hours after finishing all foods)!
So, I hit it a dose and an half, having a tuna sandwich (with a keto flatbread) and glass of milk. I needed a nap. Waking two hours ago, feeling a bit off, I checked blood sugar. No wonder I was so groggy. It was 59 about four hours after dosing! I hit the last dose so hard because it should have dropped, not risen.
I had a bite to eat. I avoid the carb pills, because they jerk things far too high. I have them, and will use them for certain times and circumstances. No, I went with food. An hour later, it was to 82, two hours later it is up to 123. That is quite a jump, I'll keep a close eye on it for the next few days. A few extra checks and checking precisely rather than loosely. I do what I can. Later.
.
Waking blood sugar was 151 definitely fasting. I had a fatted coffee and... something else, something keto and light, plus a light dose of insulin. I wasn't sure about the insulin, so I added a fatted tea (more like an half cup of cream per, as I am cutting calories). A few hours later, blood sugar was 193 (hours after finishing all foods)!
So, I hit it a dose and an half, having a tuna sandwich (with a keto flatbread) and glass of milk. I needed a nap. Waking two hours ago, feeling a bit off, I checked blood sugar. No wonder I was so groggy. It was 59 about four hours after dosing! I hit the last dose so hard because it should have dropped, not risen.
I had a bite to eat. I avoid the carb pills, because they jerk things far too high. I have them, and will use them for certain times and circumstances. No, I went with food. An hour later, it was to 82, two hours later it is up to 123. That is quite a jump, I'll keep a close eye on it for the next few days. A few extra checks and checking precisely rather than loosely. I do what I can. Later.
Dream a little dream... of dinner?
.
.
Dinner? I don't remember which meal, or snack, whole meal or single food... all I do remember is waking with an overflow of salivation. Drooling. It was the amount of fluid flowing that woke me. Impressive. Well, that and a hunger that has grown since. A fatted tea, as soon as the fresh spot of it is finished brewing.
Blood sugar is better, at 151 fasting and the average finally back down to 132 for the week. When blood sugar, for any reason, is high... with more insulin on hand, I hit it hard, often. I am not having to be stingy. And... that is working. Partial fasting wasn't helping, nor the smaller doses. With it where it is at, a 15 to 20 cc dose is reasonable. My physical size simply requires more. Bp is off because I missed meds last night.
No, I don't like insulin. But in my recent condition it is the only thing that offers some control. If I get back to a better place, fasting may be brought back to bear. My arms have increased another quarter inch in girth. I definitely have an unusual growth ability, especially at my age. If that might be a bit of a problem by itself. Going from 14 1/2" to 15 3/4" in a week from a few hours of work and play? And, yes, the measurements are spot on.
Dishes... I need to hit those some time today. Perhaps put a single load of laundry through. And a shower would be good. The dishes will take two hits, and a rinse. Oh, the post! I have a package in! I... lost track. For now, the ducks will be put out, then cats fed. I am only giving out two thirds of a can, saving some back for Sassy, as a later snack. I am trying to get her to lose weight. The trouble is, when they fatten, like people, getting it off is murder. Later.
.
Dinner? I don't remember which meal, or snack, whole meal or single food... all I do remember is waking with an overflow of salivation. Drooling. It was the amount of fluid flowing that woke me. Impressive. Well, that and a hunger that has grown since. A fatted tea, as soon as the fresh spot of it is finished brewing.
Blood sugar is better, at 151 fasting and the average finally back down to 132 for the week. When blood sugar, for any reason, is high... with more insulin on hand, I hit it hard, often. I am not having to be stingy. And... that is working. Partial fasting wasn't helping, nor the smaller doses. With it where it is at, a 15 to 20 cc dose is reasonable. My physical size simply requires more. Bp is off because I missed meds last night.
No, I don't like insulin. But in my recent condition it is the only thing that offers some control. If I get back to a better place, fasting may be brought back to bear. My arms have increased another quarter inch in girth. I definitely have an unusual growth ability, especially at my age. If that might be a bit of a problem by itself. Going from 14 1/2" to 15 3/4" in a week from a few hours of work and play? And, yes, the measurements are spot on.
Dishes... I need to hit those some time today. Perhaps put a single load of laundry through. And a shower would be good. The dishes will take two hits, and a rinse. Oh, the post! I have a package in! I... lost track. For now, the ducks will be put out, then cats fed. I am only giving out two thirds of a can, saving some back for Sassy, as a later snack. I am trying to get her to lose weight. The trouble is, when they fatten, like people, getting it off is murder. Later.
Sunday, September 22, 2019
Finally, some work.
.
.
To say the place is a mess would be putting it nicely. I haven't been able to work. And work is difficult when possible. Changed out cat litter and swept that area as a part of it. I went through dishes, fitting what I could into the bin. Then as much trash as could be found was collected, bagged, put in the bin, and taken to the curb.
It wasn't that much work, but it was all at once. I am hoping to be to bed by midnight. Far earlier than the last three or four nights. I did everything in about an half hour. If I had been thinking, I would have taken a shower first, at least before soaking the dishes. I will wash off tonight, just not the best, or easiest way. I'm trying to clean up daily, more so. Every other day if not possible. But daily is my ardent intention.
Blood sugar was high this morning. I've dosed well twice, then a mild dose later. It's been working. I also checked bp, finally. Not perfect, at 125/105, pulse of 91. It sure beats 150s/120s, much better than 210s/180s. Choices. I have only been on full dose for about a week now. So... yeah. I am good with it. I am doing what I can do. And it is all heading in the right directions.
I called my mother. She sounds tired, thin. I know that. Still, a call and big and small talk, and a long familiar voice, helps. I tried to keep it cheery. Yeah, some days. I wasn't perfect, but... got back to better the few minor strayings. Fall and spring... good, beautiful, temperate, but... with change follow moods. Cheers!
Almost bedtime. Another hour, because. Good night.
.
To say the place is a mess would be putting it nicely. I haven't been able to work. And work is difficult when possible. Changed out cat litter and swept that area as a part of it. I went through dishes, fitting what I could into the bin. Then as much trash as could be found was collected, bagged, put in the bin, and taken to the curb.
It wasn't that much work, but it was all at once. I am hoping to be to bed by midnight. Far earlier than the last three or four nights. I did everything in about an half hour. If I had been thinking, I would have taken a shower first, at least before soaking the dishes. I will wash off tonight, just not the best, or easiest way. I'm trying to clean up daily, more so. Every other day if not possible. But daily is my ardent intention.
Blood sugar was high this morning. I've dosed well twice, then a mild dose later. It's been working. I also checked bp, finally. Not perfect, at 125/105, pulse of 91. It sure beats 150s/120s, much better than 210s/180s. Choices. I have only been on full dose for about a week now. So... yeah. I am good with it. I am doing what I can do. And it is all heading in the right directions.
I called my mother. She sounds tired, thin. I know that. Still, a call and big and small talk, and a long familiar voice, helps. I tried to keep it cheery. Yeah, some days. I wasn't perfect, but... got back to better the few minor strayings. Fall and spring... good, beautiful, temperate, but... with change follow moods. Cheers!
Almost bedtime. Another hour, because. Good night.
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