Warming, as suspected.

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It was 92 last time I looked.  Now it is feeling rather uncomfortable out there.  I go out only to give Sam food or check her water.  Kibles this time, canned food next, treats from time to time.  Well, and check her water.  Plus it gives me a reason to get out.  Burning out there, again.

It is almost to 80 in this front room, but the low to mid 70s elsewhere.  I would guess it's mid to higher 70's upstairs.  When it heats back up, it really hits hard.  The trick is to step out just long enough to get a blast, but not long enough to get so hot I bring back a load of heat with me.  Get out just long enough to make the inside feel comfortable.

Until, say, 84, it was... nice... out there.  When it hit 86~88, it started being unpleasant.  When it went over 90 it totally stopped being fun.  It isn't even 15:00 yet, so there is room for it to get hotter, perhaps much hotter.

I did get my pants in earlier.  But one has to be rewashed.  A stupid bird pooped on it.  Stupid birds!  The rest are fine.  I found more synthetics.  Whites, but washing them in cold will allow me to wash them all together.  I really do like what the sun and wind do out there, if the birds would leave them alone.  That's the first bird problem I have had.

Rabbits, so far, seem okay.  I would guess, over time, their resistance will fade.  So far, though, they are doing well.  Hmm, best check them though.  This swing, from cool to this hot, might get to them quickly.  Actually, I will take out frozen bottles right now.  But a quick run, and to all of them.  One each.  Later.

Nearly ninety out there.

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It is 88, and it definitely feels like it.  It was that same temp when I started on rabbits, and hasn't changed since then or since perhaps an hour before when I was watching the ducks.  Though it may get hotter yet today.  I expect it, barring another anomaly.

Sam is out.  Once she gets used to it, she really likes the heat.  I just have to make sure she has water.  There is the duck pond, big and little.  But the ducks pollute those rather seriously.  Mostly just grit and dirt from their bills... which they use to dig for roots and critters.  Still, it looks rather awful.

I got trash together and out, some of it, yesterday.  Same with recycling.  Not sure how much more... I mean, there is a lot more I could put out, but... not... normal stuff.  From cooking and food prep.  I'm not sure if tomorrow is recycling, either.  If it is, some boxes could go.  Probably some in the trash too.  If I could get them broken down in time.

It is cooler in hear.  Just hitting 74 in this front room.  That will change in the next days and weeks, if weather becomes normal again.  It'll be hitting in the low 80s if it remains in the mid 90s or higher.  The rest of the house will stay around 76, without ac.  Possibly with it, at times.  And nights won't be getting cooler than, say, the mid 60s.   I really ought to get  the eyebolts put into the post, and see about setting up the hammock... to sleep out there from time to time.  I'm not sure I should leave it out.  A little practice and putting it up and taking it down would be easy, quick, I think.

I would have to wear shorts and a t, but that is usual anyway.  And I have a tarp, for over the top, which should provide some privacy, for all concerned.  And, it is behind the house.  It would take a lot of work to find a position by which to watch very closely.  And it would be an ugly, boring, viewing.

On to something.  Or, more likely, nothing.  I'm in a bit of a funk from almost everything having failed recently.  At least I have food.  And mortgage isn't actually due until August.  So if they took that, I should be able to get it back.  I did cancel, but... you know how that goes.  I have food and water, and perhaps a way to sleep where it is cooler, if I lose electricity too.

Later.

One part is back.

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Plus, other good news.

First, the first of the hens to have laid eggs, and gone broody, still has three chicks.  Getting bigger every day.  Still at risk of drowning, but I have done what I can to manage that.  The other hen still has four, last I saw.  Not sure if the indian runner will get her eggs to hatch.  She seems to be off more than on them.  Then again, maybe she knows what she is doing?

That... isn't new good news.  The new good news is that the first hen is back to setting a clutch!  Her little ones, it seems, are large enough that she pretty much let them go.  And they wander off, anyway.  If too, they have learned to stay closer in with the herd, if avoiding getting too close to some, especially Henry.  He's a mean sob.  Even with those which are technically his own.

All good.  Hopefully a few more than before will make it.  Though, too, I realize... the more successful they are at breeding, the more birds I will have to cull.  At least I can cull these for food.  Unlike drakes among the indian runners.  They just don't have enough meat on them.  Perhaps, though, I could render them?  I'll look.  I truly hate to waste.  Though, if the muscovy ducks taste as good as they are billed, I could probably eat a couple ducks a month.

As well, the internet is back, through my router.  Not sure if it was a technical thing, down for maintenance, or something else.  It got down to 45 last night.  At least the lowest I saw it.  But that usually doesn't cause a problem.  When it rains, the internet used to go down fairly often.  They, mostly, fixed that.  It seems more a problem later at night, often on weekends.  I think that is maintenance, as well as they shunt speeds and access at night.  Though probably not (or not just) the service provider.

I really think google to amazon to any site or service, if they are going down, or there is a risk from whatever they are fixing or adding or such, they try to do that first at night, then on weekends.  They don't always have a choice, but if they do, and usually they do, they hit those factors as well as they are able.  For me, for now, the internet is back.  Trying to post on the 'smart' phone is a pain.  This is much better.

It was 45 when I fed and watered the ducks.  At a quarter to nine, it was up to 64 or so.  Cool out there.  I'll have to figure out some of the rest of it tomorrow.  Something is really very off.  I may just have to kill the debit card.  Or change it, but never use it.  Have them check every use, by phone.  It is too dangerous, it seems, to have that, if I can have my account consumed without a red flag, or dozen, going off.  Later.

Problems everywhere.

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My account is nearly empty.  Gas hasn't been paid.  The internet is down.  Many other problems.  Not sure what happened.  Not even supposed to pay mortgage this month.  I reset it.  

I closed payments to it.  All I can guess is someone got into my account and stripped it.  And it is a weekend, so there is nothing I can do at the moment. 

I should have at least $900, what I pay on mortgage, and that is assuming I spent beyond my budget.  Not including $1400 which I was informed was incoming stimulus. 

As well, my phone had been set to bluetooth, with other accesses turned off.  Not something I did.  Had to sort that out to even get online.  Have to use the phone to post.  

Not sure if that is a payment problem too, or a temporary outage.  But it shouldn't be payment.  That gets paid quickly, early in the month.  Even so, it wouldn't be late, except for this month?

It is, or feels like, a major attack.  I really can't know what is happening until Monday.  Later.

Warming, finally.

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Awake, but just barely.  Crashing, hard, fast.  Not sure if a nap will do, but will try.  Or just stay awake as long as I can?  I hate when I am stuck between crashing and choosing to push on.  I don't think I can push on.  But I can try to make it a nap, not a full sleep.

It is 82, at 13:07.  It's a nice 82, so far.  I brought in all but the three pants from the line.  I think they are dry, but want to give them more time, and in the sun.  They had been in the shade.  Even with the sun moving to eventually get them, I had to reposition them so that they were definitely in the sun.

I have t he ducks a splash of water, while at it.  And, earlier, I filled the dishpan at the side of the house, but added a big rock, so any silly little ones who figure out how to get in can also get out.  The big ducks won't be able to bathe in it, as they had been, but they can still clear their bills of muck.  It's something, a compromise.

Bacon and eggs were breakfast.  Medicine was taken.  It might even be late enough to take night medicine.  BP is 139/90 with a pulse of 72?  I felt a little off, thought it was blood sugar.  It is this bp.  Not a bad bp, just not a familiar range.  Actually, that is just about what is being sought.  Blood sugar is slightly elevated.  Kefir and 12 cc's of insulin, as I head to a nap.  And night pills, so I won't forget later, or have to take them if I wake at 3:00 or such.

I'm dithering, about calling my mother.  I may call my brother at the beginning of the week as well.  Trying not to be a pest.  But trying to keep a pulse on things.  And encourage the others.  We are all in difficult spots.  But we are, to a degree, what we have.  Oh, he has a wife and kids, she has a guy and many who lover her, I have friends, but... from the old days.

I do love watching the ducklings.  The bigger and littler ones.  I am looking forward to more.  Some will fall.  Yet?  Some will make it.  But, I think, they are learning how to keep them alive.  This is all of their first batches, for the muscovy.  Perhaps for the indian runners, too.  One had a batch before, not sure it's the same girl.  Hadn't named them then.

Have a great afternoon and day.

It is finally warming.

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Chores, and laundry hung.  Three work cargo pants, socks, and open toe compression socks for some nights when I need compression by my toes have had it.  I don't need compression all the time?  Well, maybe.  But I can't do them all the time.  Still, when I need them, there they are.

The birds are looking healthy, happy, and were certainly hungry.  The first batch of ducklings are able to get into the feed pans, sort of.  The new ones are still just tiny little things.  I'm not sure when Henrietta is due, but it won't be too long... assuming she keeps enough of them warm to survive.  Weather like this makes me wonder.  But the other ladies pulled through, so...

The rabbits are all good.  Feed for these this day, water for those next.  Nothing fancy, sometimes odd.  I ought to track their feed and water, but... not sure what that would get me.  More a curiosity thing.  The only one which consistently surprises me is the doe who was so mean.  I think she might be a cross between little and big.  She has the hunger and thirst of the bigger rabbits, and is twice as twitchy and aggressive as the smaller rabbits.  Dominant, brutally so.

I had thought to not deal with her.  However, like it or night, she may have the fight for life you want in a rabbit.  As long as it doesn't turn as deadly to her babies.  She would be worth a shot.  If I can find a male aggressive enough to breed her.  What a bitch, seriously.  Taming of shrews isn't just a human thing.

It was 60 when I went out and started things, a quarter to half after eight.  By a quarter after nine it was only up to 62.  And it's a colder 62, not warm or even warming feeling.  Not a complaint.  I suspect we won't get such a break from the heat, again, for a while?  Who knows though.  Summer may end up dead, or very muted.

BP is 154/98 with a pulse of 76 before medicine has been taken.  Blood sugar is 98 but after breakfast and a first smaller dose of insulin.  BP is better than usual, blood sugar is... probably a bit low.  I best eat something, of course minus insulin.  If it was 150, and I was eating, maybe a small dose.  Besides, bacon and eggs shouldn't drive blood sugar higher.

Food, then gaming as I rest.  A shower, shave, and setting up dishes after that?  It is sort of the plan.  Plans are great until they fall.  I may end up needing a nap somewhere in there.  Still, it's possible to get all things, and more, even with a nap.  That is the wonderful thing about waking early.  Good morning and day.

Colder yet.

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It is 38, as of a minute ago, outside.  I keep sliding.  The sun has been up a bit.  That hasn't changed anything, but won't for a few hours.  Probably.  It is, from word of mouth sources, supposed to get into the 100's, sources from other sources, this week.  Weekend?  I... don't know.  I don't bother with weather news.  It is often as accurate and precise, either really, as any other news.  Only they can't manipulate the reality around the reporting, in this system.

A fatted coffee, this morning.  More for the warmth than anything else.  Hungry, but... just don't have an easy meal and am not quite up to cooking yet.  Perhaps the coffee will help.

A bit of clearing of a drawer in the bathroom.  More laundry gathered if I'm not sure enough has been collected to do a load.  Maybe, a very small load of whites?  If I can get warmed, and breakfast, I would like to shower, shave, and then get dishes started.  As well, when it warms a bit, I would like to get the laundry out on the line.

I have started collecting trash, with recycling done and rebagged.  And rebagging some of the other trash cans in the house.  Quite a bit of work.  Not sure what is happening, but I'll... do what I can, as I can, when I can.  I love to work.  When it just flows, even when I have to push... when I can see to it, and am able.  If it were just a will thing, my home would be immaculate.  You have no idea how much this pains me, to live like this.

Still, for today, I have been doing a bit.  Hopefully, maybe, back to work, to some degree.  If today remains cool, and by the time I am free to do so, I am hoping to gather branches and twigs, and get ready for help moving the other hutch so that it, too, is open north and south, while being sheltered east to west.  That latter is where the sun might hit it.  And, if faced that way, I can completely open the north and south for much more airflow.  But branches and twigs are in the way.

Coffee!  Right!  Before that gets cold.  And some gaming as I take a break from this last little batch of tasks.  Be well.

A small start to the day.

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Mostly just enjoying the morning.  A few bottles collected, put into the recycling can, then that bagged and taken out.  Missed a bottle.  Oh well, I'll do that shortly.  It was right in my field of vision.

I closed the front door and turned off the fan.  Even that wasn't enough.  It continues to get cooler.  While taking out the recycling bag, I checked... 41.  It's still dropping out there.  And it's a cold 41.  Something in the air.  Moisture?  It's cold, not cool.  I'll have to get a jacket.

I best feed the girls, shortly, as well.  And clear their litter.  Twice a day, for that, even if Sam is outside for much of the day.  Doubly so if she isn't.  She drinks and pees twice as much as Sassy and Sassy is twice her size.  Weird, but it is what it is.

I think I'll game, a bit, to try to warm up.  After getting a jacket and long jonhs on.  I had thought I wouldn't need leggings, but I think I do... at least until, unless, it warms up outside.  But, geez, it is freezing, even in here at... 67, near the computer?  It is nearly mid June, right?  Temp is still dropping, even in here.

I changed the water for the water kefir grains.  But, this time, it took two half gallon jars, as the grains have probably tripled to quadrupled.  I won't be adding more jars to this process, but will maintain two.  Though, if I have enough set up, I will Put in the sugar and molasses, then put them in the refrigerator.  That will slow the process.  I will, then, add sugar one a week, say a cup.  As they grain build, I will pull those, and, what, eat them?  Don't know.  They sort of remind me of gummy bears.

Kefir, nuts, and swiss cheese for breakfast.  With a side of insulin.  While it isn't what most Americans expect, want, or could even tolerate, once I got away from all the processed feed, and artificial flavor boosters from the toxic waste they offer for ease and convenience, this breakfast is... reasonable.  Far too boring for most.  But you learn to taste the little bit in hazel nuts, and pecans are quite flavorful.  Swiss cheese is a thing of it's own, and kefir is mostly sour.  To be honest, I consider myself a special kind of wealth for my current regular feeds.  

I might be behind on utilities, again, somehow.  And I may be low for the month.  Not sure... what I did wrong, though I best check to see if they took mortgage, or twice, or something.  But, not only that I eat more rightly, but that I appreciate it?  Something are beyond coin.  Wealth is something which is difficult to be replaced, at any cost.  This may or may not be that, but I think of it as an asset.

Hmm, yeah, perhaps a choco fatted coffee, this warming.  To warm and enjoy.

Later.

A good morning.

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I can't be certain when I went to bed.  I think it was around 17:00, maybe as much as an half hour past.  It wasn't 18:00, at least a quarter away.  But it might have been just a few minutes after 17:00.  My memory became... problematic.  Though too, and again, after resetting it correctly, it looks like my alarm clock, upstairs, is back on central time.  Though was it that way last night, and whether that was the clock I used as reference, are both questions to which I simply don't know the answer.

Sleep was good.  I woke at what I thought was a bit after three.  Central time, or eastern time?  It is 02:48, actual time.  I am not sure how long it took me to actually wake, figure out clothing, and shoes, and... I... spent a lot of time waking and getting up and going.  But, no, I think... it was just, probably, all within an half hour.  Gah!

Sleep was good.  Woke several times not remembering quite where I was.  Idaho?  New York City?  Iowa?  On a destroyer, a sub?  I could tell, after a short listen, that it wasn't NYC.  Though, in these days?  Maybe it is a dead city?  Or does it ever die?  Perhaps only in the mausoleums the rich inhabit, and those neighborhoods?  At least until the hood comes for them in bulk.  I am not sure I ever sorted out where I was?  Maybe.  I just don't remember getting to that point.  I think I was asking out loud, in case a woman was around.  Waiting for a possible, sleepy, woman's voice, asking "Hmm?  What's up babe?".

Downstairs and upstairs is all around 70.  I think, oddly, it was warmer near me.  Windows were closed, but a fan on.  Just upstairs, on me.  It was 73 near me.  it is 45 outside.  Not too cool to enjoy, actually.  So I opened the front door just a bit, and have a fan going in the front room, to balance me, the machine, router, and light.  Staying right at 70.

I still have two jackets hung out.  Those are thick hefty material, and layered of it.  More cold fall through colder spring items, which will be put up after washing.  I have my synthetics ready to go out on the line in a bit.  Don't really want to do it in the dark.  Not afraid of the dark, that is... one of my claimed zones.  It's more a matter of not wishing to hang things wrong.  I will be trying to figure out how best to hang things so the seems are right, and they fold well.  I need to see to do this thing correctly.  Maybe when I have developed a best practice, then I can do it in the dark.

Still very pleased with the chicks.  Maybe some will make it, maybe none.  Life isn't in my hands.  Neither is death.  Not fully, or in very many ways.  For life, there must be death, of course.  But, for whom the bell tolls?  That is not within my purview, even when it seems to be.  Even God, in a dream, told me death is not preferred.  A whispered thing.  A thing I took to heart.  I... didn't like the restraint, initially.  Does He know with whom He was speaking?  Yes, and probably better than I know.  So be it.  I have come to... if not understand?  To... cope with, or... accept, perhaps even rationalize.  If He asks it, then so be it, as far as I am able.  Hey!  I thought I was Cain!  :p

I didn't get dishes started.  But I will today.  One thing at a time, as much as I can do, and at it.  I did get laundry not only, I think, all loads possible in and done, most dried, and much of it upstairs to be finally sorted, folded, hung, but towels folded and mostly away, and... a very good run on those.  Took all day, small batches, when and what I could do.  Hanging the coats about busted my balls, but... And the towels, when I hung those.  Ugh.  Still, it's all a start.

The hope is to finish dishes, then begin clearing and cleaning.  I have the counters in half decent shape.  They and the cooktop need a more thorough clearing and cleaning, but are so-so to start.  Then to hit the table, and get to where I can begin sharpening blades, and maybe having my meals, and doing business, out there, on that.  Well, and finishing the bathroom.  

I would like to get the bathroom to absolute spic and span cleanliness, then keep it that way.  I have been keeping the toilet, and sink, really well... once I figured out how to get the sink clean.  The tub is clean, but needs sorting a bit.  Ugh.  One thing at a time, but getting there.  I wonder if if it is plastic, from the base of the plastic tub I use as a wash basin.  Perhaps, with very hot water, it melts a bit onto the porcelain in the cast tub?  Anyway...

Well... that's that, for now.  Milk should be showing up today.  Five gallons, and cream.  Yes, I am going through that much milk, turning it into kefir.  I may have to add one more jug.  I am also practicing to see if the jars do better with the lids tight, or loosened a bit.  

For the vinegar, yes that is still a thing, it works far better to shut and tighten the lids.  If I leave them a little open, white potentially mold begins to settle on top.  As well, I have found that if any fruit begins to come to the surface?  Remove it.  But with a water fill, NOT with a spoon.  Swirl too.  A spoon may be handy if the stuff has gotten to the sides, at the top, and is clinging.  

The last few days, after flushing the mold very well and consistently, twice a day, have been mold free... with the lids cranked down.  Not airtight lids, but... I'm not sure that is wise either.  Anything forming at the top gets dumped, then rinsed, and replaced with fresh water.  It is beginning to do well.

I suspect the water kefir should be changed.  One last dumping of it all?  Or this and next time?  Then on to getting that going for real, and beginning to bottle it in those swing top, old time soda bottles.  A little fruit in with them, as they second ferment on the counter for a day, then into the fridge for a couple of days.  Headspace and a little caution are your friends in these processes.

Well... enough about all that.  Good morning and good day.

Some things bring cheer.

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While sorting through life, and troubles, toils, and efforts, I started a load of laundry.  Jackets and other heavier things.  Those were done, and the sun is out.  It's in the low 70's out there, maybe just at 70 last time I looked?  I thought so.  But warm enough, and no threat of rain I could tell, so the items were set out to dry.

While out there, Sam... wanted attention.  I mean... really wanted attention.  I gave her some, and promised to let her in when I went in.  This seemed to relax her.  Not sure what was up, but it's okay.  I'll take care of her, and tend her as I may.  Little, and old, but she has as much say as I can offer.

While putting up the clothes, Mourning Dove was acting a bit peculiar.  Fearful?  She usually isn't afraid of me, or as afraid as others.  I stopped what I was doing, and approached, gently, slowly.  She began acting a bit more peculiar, so I stopped.  Aha!  She has chicks.  Four, little blobs of yellow, black, feather, beak, and feet.  Tiny little things.  So I calmed her and backed away.

So, at least for now, it looks like I have two mommas with, currently, seven chicks, and more on the way with another of the ladies.  Oh, I am quite pleased.  There really isn't much I can do for them.  Make sure the pool is on a tilt, so they won't drown (probably).  Don't fill the side dishpan pool, until they are all bigger.  Tossing feed just for them doesn't seem to get them fed any better.  The mothers seem to know how to feed them, by showing them where, how, and maybe what to eat?  Still, I will toss some feed on the ground... where they can see me doing it.  Not much else I can do.  I am so pleased.

Hmm?  Well, dishes, it is hoped, yet later today.  I'm not moving fast, or well.  It is cool enough, in here, still.  At 75, near the computer, in the front room, mid-afternoon, and cooler everywhere else, it's okay.  Still, sleep is off, food is off, bp still isn't all that good, and blood sugar... at least that wasn't too bad last time... 141 I think?

Yes, dishes.  Oh, and another load of laundry to be put out, in an hour when it is done, or so.  Mostly pants, synthetics, work cargoes.  Those will go on the other other line, and I'll bring in what little is dry.  Dishes may just go in, and not all of them.  Most though.  Pots and a pans, cooking utensils, for now.  Not a lot to do, but I'm not moving fast or well.  That will have to do.

Fragile.

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Some days are so... unnerving.  I can't die, or live.  I... have found I am able to take care of a few animals... feebly.  I can't keep them all alive, but have created a system of feeding, watering, containing, and/or loosing which allows most of them to survive.  And, when things cool, perhaps I will be able to begin more of a production... in which I can gather the fruits of my efforts.

Still, for now, just feeding, watering, and tending litter, for a few creatures... and myself... is about as much as I have been able to successfully do.  I may be stepping up, for another project or two.  But... those are... only possibilities.  I have fairly stout limitations.  Even so, I am making plans to do more.

I have quite alcohol, tobacco, and carbs mostly.  I take my medicines, when I can, as faithfully as I am able.  I have done everything I can do to improve my condition.   Even caffeine has been slashed to a few times a week.  None of it seems to matter.

I keep hanging on.  Not because I know I will improve, but because I know it could be worse.  And I suspect it will get much worse, long before it gets better.  I have surrendered my option of suicide.  So, I... will probably live a fairly humble... humbler... life in some not too distant future.  A year?  Ten?  Thirty?

To be honest, those aren't the problems.  It is being alone to do more than I can do.  A minor boss might help.  A little guidance, a little help, someone to do what I can't, when I can't, and probably vice versa.  Not all that fancy.  But, it seems, all help comes with fairly high costs of association.  It's just the way of it.  Damned, as they say, if you do and if you don't.

I have learned not to care.  No, not in the way it could mean.  Only... to let go... of ego, and wants, and demands.  To do merely what I can, when I can.  And, so, I do.  But it can feel like a shallow, nearly empty, life of service to... ideas, principles, theories, philosophies, which I can never hope to fully grasp.  Still, it's... I know, at least, what I can't do.  And I have some idea of what I can do.  And, so, I do it.

Fragile.  But... too... there is a grace in that.  Just that.  Later.

Ducks, rabbits, and cats.

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Mostly.  I still have litter to hit.  But I did that last night, last thing.  Maybe even this morning?  I can't be sure about this morning.  Though, if so, right as I woke.  Anyway, the critters have been watered and fed as needed, cats have already had two meals and snacks.  Sam is outside.  She'll have her fun then let me know funtime is over.

It has been slowly warming.  At 64, right at 11:00, it's not bad.  Still rather cool in the cave.  I have closed it up, to keep what I can though.  I'll be able to take the jacket off shortly.  Maybe.  It is up to 70, in this front room.  Who knows how much it might warm.  Or if more of these are around the corner.  Never say never, we just had a never.  Actually, a whole bunch of them.

I'll have to see what I have for food.  Not a lot thawed, but the instapot is good for that.  I'm not, mostly, hungry.  Though, that works right until I am starving.  Kefir, perrier, and fatted coffees do a bit, but real food really has to be eaten from time to time.  I'm thinking another roast pork, maybe beef if I have a chuck.  Later in the week, I'll make chicken... or... a few days from now, anyway.

I best get to something else.  No more laundry, not until I am more sure about the outdoors... it getting back to normal.  Though, I suppose, it doesn't have to be warm?  And the sun, even if it is cool, will do it's work, at it's current angle?  Don't know, for sure, but think so.  Dishes and laundry, today, then.

Be well.  Later.

Still pretty cool out there.

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Up nine points, to 41, just a bit before 08:00.  I had to close the windows.  The cold was getting into the house.  It had dropped from 68 when I came down to 65.  Very strange, those windows had been open all night already.  Maybe morning air movement was bringing it in, but I didn't feel that.  Just, of a sudden, a sudden frigid environment.

Someone is visiting very old posts.  I'm never sure why.  Just as stories?  Is there some understanding, belief, or the want of such?  I never can tell why.  Some of those stories bring back rather strong memories.  Nancy, Shelly before her, the pressures of chastity when... I didn't know better, of my own accord.  I simply knew that... some things weren't allowed by civil society, in spite of almost being pushed by it?  The confusion as lies build up and pregnancies can happen.  It's all a trap, and, yet, not.  It just seemed, doing the right thing, or the wrong thing, made me the bad guy.  Even by the bad guy who became the good guy who... wanted me to be the bad guy.  I was the bad guy, I just... didn't want to... make babies, quite yet.

Other memories, thoughts.  Someone is digging.  Dreams, which... may or may not have anything to do with a past I don't remember.  Dreams, of course, always have elements of fiction, or often can.  But... not always.  And, not always the one some suspect.  I account my dreams as well as I may.  Even if I know something in the dream is not accurate to life, I write it as I dreamed it, not as I know it.  And I pretty much stick to the script, even if I don't like the script.  The dream isn't mine to alter.

But very strange what is being picked to review.  All good.  I do see that my blog, like myself, is slowly dying.  I'm not sure which will hit bottom first.  Probably the blog.  I am not even certain it is being allowed visibility, if I do my part in that.  I think other parties make even a direct search difficult.  If one doesn't have a link to a post by which to enter, access may not be easily made.  My guess, then, is this is an old timer.

At it again.

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Awake at about 03:30.  Give or take a quarter, if I'm pretty sure that is nearly spot on.  And hour and ten has passed.  Where it went is anyone's guess.  Not fully awake yet.  Blood sugar was probably high, had fast food last night.  Not the soda, or even fries.  Sometimes it doesn't matter.  So kefir and insulin for breakfast.  Pills, soon.  Should have taken them with kefir, it's mostly drinkable.  But... forgot.

It was 68~69, warmer near me, upstairs.  It is 68 everywhere down here, or anywhere with readings and the front and back of the house feel similar enough.  Even with the machine running, a light on, and me here, it has only jumped a degree in here.  Outside, last I looked, was 33.  

Microsoft added "extra data", with their most recent patch, including a false weather report, suggesting it was 39 outside.  It took me ten minutes to figure out how to turn off their propaganda package.  Always lying about the weather, temperature, politics.  It's... all they offer.  I... know their master, and rejected that one soundly.  I reject that one's rejects as well.  Losers grow up to... be bigger losers.  Money doesn't change much.

I had thought to hit chores, but it may yet freeze tonight.  No need mess with that whole problem.  I'll wait until sunup.  I could fill some waterers, though.  Then again, getting fresh water, that will be cold as ice.  Even indoors.  I don't want to run the furnace, as 68 is fine by me, at the moment... dressed warmer.  So... that will wait too.

I suppose I could fuss with laundry.  Put another load through, synthetics... pants, a few sock types, a shirt or two.  The best work pants I have... Duluth Trader... good for work, and they are excellent cargo pants.  I just wish they weren't so pricey.  A hundred a pair, on sale, more or less?  Once in a while, a bit lower, but not much.  I'm not sure if I have enough woolens or anything else.

I am almost hoping for sunshine, to find out how well that works with clothes.  Though, if I get a couple more cool days, I'll take it.  I'll have the rest of summer to burn myself and my clothes.  Rarely will I get natural 68 days, inside, even with fans and ac, even two or three units going.  It just doesn't work that way.  Though going from the low 80's, which was already down from the mid 90's, to the high 50's as highs, and from the 60's to the 30's as lows?  Very strange.  I'm pretty sure I've never seen anything like this, in this season.  But I'll take it gladly.

If I didn't mention it, it looks like the egg sitter is one of the indian runners.  If I suspect one of the muscovy hens is also hiding a batch, somewhere.  She is a bit of an oddball though, doesn't play reindeer games with the others, a bit of a loaner.  She is also one of my favorites... Mourning Dove, I named her.  A bit darker grey, but mottled almost similar to the doves.  And one of my mother's favorites, depending on her mood?  Sometimes she seems to love something, then she is busy and doesn't care, or has moved on.  :p  Women.

Yes, today?  Dishes, laundry, chores of course.  I have been keeping up on cat litter.  Oh, and I'll feed them now.  Never feed them right when I wake, or they become pushy that way.  I actually wait until they leave me alone, and then about an hour or two after that, I feed them.  It... sorts things better.

I'll game, a bit, first... to wake up.  At 68, it is a bit cool.  But I don't want to warm the house.  It may become blazing out there.  Never heat the house in the summer.  It would take days to get that out of the place if it turns hot on top of it.  A jacket, or sweater, if I am too cold to function right.  Good morning and day.

Very cool out there.

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It is 44 just now, was 50 an half hour ago, may be dropping to freezing or below.  The wind is gone, but the cold is definitely here.  Tomorrow?  Who knows.  For all I can be sure, it might be right back to 80, 96, or even into the 100's.  When it isn't going cold, it seems to be going extra hot.

I had been sleeping.  A minor interruption.  I think I may go back to bed in a bit.  I did end up putting a load of laundry through, but will just dry those in the machine... if I haven't.  But I do like the feel of hung dried clothes.  I would like to have the sun hit the clothes, though, too.  That just... cleans, in a way no soap or water can.  The clothes feel fuller, stronger, better somehow... even just from air drying.  I can only imagine what the sun will do.  Looking forward to finding out.

Well... on to dishes, and laundry, at least checking things, and getting a few loads of dishes set up.  Medicine has already been taken.  Except slow acting insulin?  I think so.  A bit of computing, maybe just a touch of gaming, then back on to bed.  I should sleep quite well.  I have some windows open, up and down stairs.  I may sleep with a fan, but won't need the ac, or even both fans.  Though, to be honest, I'm not sure the second fan upstairs helps in any significant way.  I may have to work at configuring it so that it does?  I don't know, will see.

Later, or more likely good night.

Warming.

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While I did have windows in the main part of the house open, I was worried it would heat up, then overheat the house.  So I opened the front door a bit.  To track the general feel.  And, before taking a shower, I checked.  It had risen to... 64?  Right.  And my humidity reading?  Lo.  Lo%?  Really?  Very, very strange.  I have never, since living here, seen that reading.  And the comfort index, at 76 F inside, near the computer, is "uncomfortable, cold".  Very very strange.  The upstairs hygrometer reads 22.  Even that is as low as I have ever seen it.

A shower was taken, and a shave had.  Used a razor I hadn't used before, adjustable.  I... may need to dial it back a bit.  At least until I get used to it.  But, boy did that thing clean the wishers, and the top layer of skin.  Yes siree.  I'll put something on it, in a bit.

I have another load of laundry in, but not going.  Not until the laundry outside is done, and in.  I also need to finish chores, tending rabbits.  Those first, and if ready after, I'll grab the laundry.  Still not sure I should do another load.  Not until I am more secure that it won't rain.  My mother says there is a cold front that came through.  Whatever, but... yeah.

I called her because I have texted someone, about something, several times... to no reply.  Maybe he puts his phone up while working these days?  It is just unusual.  So I called to see if the phone really had been shut off.  Nope.  A short call, about this and that.  But, also, checking in.  It... gave me an excuse to call and ask without... calling and asking?  She was doing something else though, or watching something interesting.  Probably the death notifications!  Gah!  Freaky, but... then again... she knows so very many people.  It's here thing, living, dying, dead.  I hope she is missed by the people for her care of them, in this odd little way.  She remembers people who don't even remember themselves.

Anyway... I had to sit, after showering and shaving.  Back is oddly out.  A bit of lifting recently, laundry, this and that.  It has added up.  The only package today?  North Atlantic cod liver... canned, like sardines.  It isn't a pleasure meal.  Not sure I can eat it.  But... the nutrients make it worth a stab.

Blood sugar is down to 86, bp and pulse is a few points lower, top and bottom, and pulse.  Nothing worth mentioning though.  Usually housework, even mild stuff, can help lower bp.  Oh well.  I am taking medicine every time, and fairly well on a relatively normal, for me, schedule.  Bah!

Well... on to resting, before getting to chores, then finishing laundry.  Everything needing dried by machine should be done too.  All in all, a good start to the day, if also nearly a close.  Tylenol, evening meds, slow acting insulin, and maybe eggs, bacon, and fast acting insulin.  Bleh.  Good day.

The wind has gone.

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The cool remains.  A strange event, I would call it.

Kefir and water.  Working up to bacon and eggs.  Perhaps a keto mug bread to go with it?  Maybe.  I have fresh ingredients now, it may help.

Someone is digging far back into the older posts, from a decade and more ago, sometimes.  They are looking at... specific things.  They seem to know what they are looking at, for.  Trying to show me something, or just... looking from what has been written recently, here or as comments.  Some of those comments, which are connected to the searches, were never posted.  That, as I have suspected, doesn't mean they weren't read, or captured.  Strange.

No, I knew that was happening.  If I am not certain who is doing the capturing, and elimination of comments.  The host, or an external source.  Your tax money at work, as likely as tech slave labor.  Things must really not be going for them.  Though, too, many of the sites you visit, thinking they are conservative, are false.  Just know that.

I want a shower and shave first.  The rest, other than the rabbits, will just happen when and how they can.  Got a call, purportedly from Verizon, saying my account had been deactivated, could I just put in all my data.  Yea no.  And, right as rain, my phone works just fine.  Not sure why they would go after my phone.  I suppose they are desperate these days.  Just as likely former, or even current, Verizon employees.  Who else would know how to jack that around for some sort of profit?

It is 78 here, near the computer... and I am shivering?  Very, very strange.

Hungry.  Just... can't really get to it, quite yet.  Hopefully soon.  Not a physical hunger, or psychological one either really.  It is a knowledge I need food.  More like a modeling system which realizes the gas tank should be nearing empty, by theory.  I think it is correct, it's all I have to go on currently.  Can't really get hungry these days.  Later.

Wow.

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As promised, I got to laundry.  Two loads out, and up, save the unmentionables.  Besides, bullet bras in that wind could... never mind.  Seriously though, boxer or brief?  Both, but it's nobody's business.  Not even, really, my own... other than to know what to buy next time.

I started putting things up, then my fingers started to hurt.  From the cold?  It had been almost 70 shortly before I started.  It... could it be the wind?  Was it strong enough?  I finished putting things up, then returned, checking the temperature on the way.  It has dropped to 57!?!  I... have never seen it do that.  You do realize it is June 10th, right?  It was 80 the last two days, with the wind keeping it even that low.  Very peculiar.  I am sure I have never seen a summer temperature drop without clouds and rain.  There is, or was, a small bit of overcast.  If the real sun blocking was coming from particulate... which has been in the air all night for the last three or four days.  I honestly wonder what is happening, as that simply isn't normal.  Did they burn up California, or Alaska, or... China?

It is 77 near the machine, and I need the warmth!  My bones hurt, and fingers, from the cold.  It was 57 out there, but there was a chill factor happening.  Seriously.  I'll bet it was more like 48~52... roughly.  My kind of weather, but handling wet clothes, on top of having grown used to the 80's and 90's, it threw me.  Interesting.  Interesting times we live in.  Not usually a good thing.  My... kind of times.  Born, built, and dying for these times?  We'll... see.  *wink*

Well, a break, to... warm up.  No need for more laundry, not until the other laundry dries.  No room.  My clothes are HUGE.  I guess I am so used to it, and have never hung them up, so I didn't realize.  A single shirt takes about a yard!  My cargo and sports shorts even take about that much, or more.  Two fifty yard stretches, nearly full with just twenty to thirty items?  Okay, maybe more than a yard.  As I have them as close together as possible.

A shower and shave, after a rest.  Then to set up dishes, do the rabbits, check the laundry on the line and the clothes in the dryer...  Oh, and breakfast, sooner or later.  I took meds, a couple of hours before the last post, taking the new medicine right in the morning.  I switched those for the next two weeks.  So, yeah, I took the new medicine before checking blood pressure, by a long two to four hour lead time.  Bleh.

More today?  Not sure I will get to what is planned.  If I do, and am still awake, and can, then... maybe.  Crazy out there.  I have opened some of the house back up.  Crazy.  Have a good one, be well, and later.

Just about time to get back to things.

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Laundry baskets were policed, taken back to the laundry room.  Laundry put in them, another load put to wash.  What isn't to hang dry was put in the dryer.  Litter was managed, for the girls, fresh water brought in, and they were fed.  Vinegars, water kefir, and milk kefir were checked and managed a bit.

Next, after a longer break, is to get the laundry out and up, perhaps putting another load into the wash.  Oh, right, yes, I did get everything closed up, before heat it.  It was at 69 when I started my break a couple hours ago.  After the laundry works, a shower and shave.  Though I may shower and shave before starting the washer.  It doesn't use all the hot water, often I wash on cool to cold, about every other or every third cycle, I'll use warm.  Sometimes, rarely, hot.

If I can get all that going, then I'll get the rabbits what they need.  I have already set the ducks up.  It looks like one of the ladies is sitting another batch.  I... haven't determined which one.  Though, who knows, they may be taking turns?  Doubtful, but... they are starting to... become a herd, as far as ducks go.

As well, dishes will be set up.  though, sometime, I'd like to make bacon and eggs, with some kefir.  And a dose of insulin.  A small dose, perhaps 8 to 12 cc's, depending on... my gut instincts.  Too much and it will crash, nothing and it'll keep going up.  Might keep going up anyway.  Still, better too high than too low, if I... am doing my best to get it right.

Blood sugar is 151 just now, after fatted unsweetened coffee and two cups of kefir?  Blah.  BP wasn't happy, at 152/98 with 78 pulse.  *shrug*

Well... on to those things... whatever they were?  :p  Bleh.  Memory sucks as it heats up and I get tired.  Will try to keep the day going, for a while anyway.

It hasn't cooled, even though it did.

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It only, last I checked, got down to 68.  Which is... rather warm.  But the wind!  Gusting through.  It cooled off inside the house, a bit more than would otherwise have been possible.  To 74 here near the machine, where I have been most of the night.  The rest of the house is around 71 to 73.  Though the back might be cooler.  No reliable device to read the temp back there, yet.

Ugh... the sun is already starting to come up.  Then again, a load of laundry was done.  I could get that out.  I got the towels in.  A wrestling match, though not for their weight or size this time.  I refit the line... which held very well by the way.  I put another loop in it.  But I kept making it too far along.

The rope is tight, knots don't go in or come out easily.  Why I kept overshooting?  Well, in part, it took a lot more line to create a knot that it seemed.  Anyway, I did get the one line tightened up.  I may, after loading that line, before loading the other, tighten the second line.  Then, a break, as that will wear me out.  Then a shower and shave.  After which, another load into the washer.  I will dry some things, I don't put everything out.  Anyway, it's a start.

Not much else done last night.  I did check on the critters.  They are all looking pretty good.  Some were nearly out of water, some were running short on food.  All good, didn't bother last night because they don't eat or drink at night.  Mostly.  But, first thing, I'll get to them.

It almost looks cloudy out there.  But that might just be the morning sky.  Or, possibly, just on the periphery.  I'll know more in a bit.  Blood sugar is right at 100, in spite of having another couple cups of kefir, and a couple ounces of pecans.  Whatever.  Oh, I'll take morning meds while I am at it.

No pain, mostly.  A few odd aches way back, almost off the radar, and I think from wrestling the line, so fair game.  I don't mind pain from effort.  It can be normal, might be natural, especially when using things that haven't been used in a bit.  Tightening 100 feet of line is... a bit more than it might seem (100 feet total, as 50 foot, on a looping track).  Especially after it has weathered a bit.  Still, quite pleased with that line.

On to... something.  Hopefully, eggs and bacon yet this morning.  And more kefir!  I really do love that stuff, and plain.  I just wish there was a sweetener which didn't cause a reaction.  Oh well.  I can live with plain, easily.  And, with pH test strips, I might be able to find out why blood sugar can spike.  Perhaps it really isn't fermenting correctly, fully.  Later.