Nearing bedtime.

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One last blood sugar check, 92?  Okay.  But, that is a bit tight.  So, I am going to stay up to 19:00, and have a fatted coffee.  Then take the slow acting.  I am a bit nervous about sleeping with that low of a blood sugar, this fast into the start of taking insulin.  I just... don't trust it.  Nor do I have candy, in case it crashes.  Bleh.

I'll just game until then.  I would like to go to bed now, but... an half an hour isn't a terrible thing, to get a few calories in.  Goodnight.

Getting through it.

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Blood sugar is really doing well today.  Fasting was 215, but since, it has been 100, and 102 just now.  I took 20 cc's with breakfast... the last chicken quarter.  It was a small one, so single meal.  Then, a few hours ago, I had a glass of kefir, and took 8 cc's (of the fast acting insulin).

I tried to get the slow acting insulin to work the program, all on it's own, but it just doesn't work.  I am taking 60 cc's, and have... must have been... eating keto for the last two weeks, three maybe.  Sure, I was horrible, at the first of the month.  But, now, doing quite well, foodwise.  Otherwise blood sugar wouldn't be taming this quickly, and easily.

I couldn't do much else today.  I did tend sassy, food and litter.  Reset her water too.  Ate myself.  As well, I trimmed my beard.  Not so much for length as shape.  There was a little tuft, on the right chin.  I wasn't sure if there was simply a cowlick, or if there was extra whiskers pushing through, or layered out.  I did some tricky stuff, and it worked out fairly well.  I did just a bit more trimming, as well.  Trying to make the surface smooth, slick, flat.  I have already improved, and am getting much better, if it will take some time to get this more down, comprehended.

Dark, outside.  Raining, from time to time.  But... warm enough to rain, not snow.  So there is that.  Medicine in.  Save night slow acting insulin.  Usually that is once a day, and will be today, in a while.  I am hoping to get to bed earlier tonight, say 16:30?  A couple of hours to go.  Hmm... should set an alarm, and after this sip, stop drinking.  Though, the last few nights, I haven't had to get up to pee, or just once, the last three nights.  Still... but I... really want to finish this water.  I finally like plain(er) water.  It is reverse osmosis, but I used to not be able to drink that, either.

Later.

Ah, a thing or two about the game.

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I have been having a heck of a time finding certain things in the game.  I finally decided to check the web.  At first I thought to check y.t., but that is a horrible way to find things.  Going through an half hour to hour video, especially after having found half or more of something, would be grueling, especially without knowing which were found, 1, 2, 3, etc.  So having to look, find the location, hopefully.  Then go and see if it is there.

So, I went looking for maps.  And other data.  It says you are supposed to be able to find these by using the same methods I HAVE been using.  I was doing the right things, but the items simply aren't visible.  Now, there are areas that are second levels, down, under roads.  But I have been under as much as I could find.  It does, can, get tricky.  Still... as much time as I have poured into finding things, I would have thought to have found them.

Still, now I have maps, with general information, and specific information for those which were squirreled away.  Completionist?  Not... so much, anymore.  But, these finds add to my skills.  So, are worth finding.  Anymore?  I won't find stupid stuff just to find stupid stuff.  Especially since most games aren't worth getting a platinum trophy (signifying all trophies were obtained).  Some are impossible, requiring online play, which I don't do.  Some are impossible, because what they require is outside of my current skills.  As well, some aren't worth playing to get those tricky ones.  Too much bother involved.  If it isn't something reasonable to get, I just don't bother at this time.

This game is... reasonable.  So far.  A lot of uglies in it, but it is an ugly city.  That's why I wouldn't live in a city.  The orcs eventually run the real people out, and then take it over, ruling like apes, top to bottom.  So it is shown in this game.  I guess he works with who is available.  Probably ignoring much of the dirt he must have on them, because the next in line is worse.  A funny thing?  They never have Mexicans, or indians (or India indians), or chinese, or Japanese, or Islanders, in it.  Just mugglings and whites.  

But, it is, so far, playable.  Just a bit more difficult than I find reasonable.  But, I am old.  Slow.  For as close to dead as I am, it is what it is.  Well... on to playing.  Later.

A reasonable day and night.

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Down sometime after 20:00, but not too far along.  Up at just a bit after 04:00.  To be honest, I'd like to got to bed earlier, and wake at 3:00.  I am thinking 18:00 might be my target down, with 03:30 my waking target?  I might also aim at a king's ransom and a nobles holdings?  What I am saying is, wish in one hand, shit in the other, guess which will be filled first.  :p  Actually, my mother taught me that saying.

Still, not a bad gig.  I had slipped beyond, staying up much later, a few days ago.  Several times, to be honest.  I thought all was lost, but just... focused, and set a few goals.  Sometimes it works, for a while.  Sometimes it doesn't.  It may just be a temporary hold, or maybe I can maintain.  At least I slept longer.  Not by much, but those two to three hours add up.  Heck, I may sleep at 16:00, with a similar wake up goal.

Medicine helps.  I will say that, at least for sleeping a more regular day.  Central air would help, as the hotter it gets, the less control I have.  A steady indoor temp would be of great assistance.  I need to figure out how to do that.  I need to get some quotes, and have some money in the bank, and, say, when I have half, then go for it.  Finance the rest.  If I need to do the electrical panel first.  I... yes.  It has to be done.

Blood sugar is 215.  The average, since starting yesterday, with a 350 high, is 159.  We'll... see how things go.  Though I will be much more careful with dosage.  That was over a 275 point drop with doses that usually don't hit nearly that hard.

I should check kefir, and the new form of creme fraiche.  Sassy has been fed.  I'll check the litter boxes.  Strange, but she only uses one litter box.  I guess I keep it clean enough for her?  I may, through time, get rid of the others.  Or... one of them.  I don't mind having two, in case I forget to check for a few days.... things happen.  Then make some coffee.

Breakfast?  I have bacon, eggs.  But do I want to do that?  Not... immediately.  After I wake I may get to it.  It's easy enough.  Rather than cooking in a larger batch, I may just cook four pieces in the air fryer?  Problem with that is I am not sure it is efficient.  Cooking a dozen pieces in the oven seems more efficient.  Then I have bacon for other things, such as crumbling for salads, or dicing for casseroles.  Or just reheating a few as a treat.  The only problem with bacon is, no matter how you cook it, it is a messy item.  Well, to get it crisp.  I suppose one could boil it, then fry it?  Get some of the grease out?  But... that's what makes it so good.  I don't know.  May look at ideas, while I'm waking.

Oh, and medicine... pills?  Somehow, in my efforts to get back on track?  I... got a day ahead.  Ugh, I hate when that happens.  Had been off them three or four days when I figured it out.  Didn't cause upset, as I can.  Not... sure which day or days the extras went down.  Just glad it didn't... hey, that may have been why I nearly slept in my chair?  Not sure if that was the right time, but even then, I could see it.  This stuff is rather... potent.  Double dosing can kill... some.

On to my day.  Good morning.

About bedtime.

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Gaming.  Getting... somewhere... in the game.  It is brutal, as far as I am concerned.  I couldn't imagine playing it on harder difficulties.  But... it is like sports, and I did play those, and well.  The smell, of sweat, and emotions, from effort and more.  Yes, it is a difficult game.  I am learning some things.  

But, usually, if you find a point where you can't win?  It is because you... often... can't win.  There is a trick to it, somewhere in there.

I had hoped to get back out and do some more work.  It just wasn't possible.  That I got some things done, though, was very nice.  Having the hoses and sprinklers up is a bit of peace for my mind.  And, I think, I should be able to get the wood at least stacked on the other wood, for spring.  Perhaps even get the area cleared and cleaned up.  Mowed?  Maybe.

The last bit of the chicken, a fatted coffee, and some water.  I keep checking the kefir.  And, made another batch of creme fraiche, in a slightly different way.  It is working much faster.  Haven't done it with milk, yet, though I'm... not sure that is something I want to do this month.  I think, with that, it then needs cooked, which takes a long time, a lot of effort, a lot of standing, and more dairy than I am ready to work with.  Can't afford it this month.

The kefir is still taking it's sweet time.  All good, it will, should.  Keeping up on it, though, at this pace, will be... difficult.  I am hoping it goes faster, soon.  Or, perhaps, I will have to start another quart.  With three in rotation, perhaps I can keep up.  Yea, I... drink a lot of the stuff, when I can get it going fast enough.  Probably a gallon, or two, a week.

Blood sugar is to 150.  I'm not sure... what is up with that.  It sure dropped.  I didn't eat any real sugars, and only probably an half cup of frozen fruit, in with kefir.  But... milk is pretty sweet.  Oh, I do need to get the slow acting insulin in, tonight.  Then on to bed.  I am ready.

Sleep well.  God's speed.  Be well.  If you die, stop by.  I think you'll be surprised that I can... say hello.  And... say a little prayer for you on your way.  I can't get you in heaven, but I can hope and pray for you.  You wouldn't be the only one to stop by.  Goodnight.

So difficult.

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But I did it.  I got the sprinkler system taken apart, stripped to components, drained, and put up.  It was 45, so things were thawed.  Getting them apart, after the summer of being together, took a bit of effort.  Which completely wore me out.  I had hoped to work on the pile, and pick up around, then put the tools up.  No dice.  I'm going good to be sitting.  Hopefully I can recover a bit.

A fatted coffee, for my good deeds, and water.  Maybe the drumstick.  The chicken was still good, very good.  Blood sugar is up to 214.  Though I had two quarts of milk with dinner.  So... yea.  Milk is essentially the soda of the dairy world.  Making it non-fat won't help.  Just like soda is non-fat.  Believe as you wish, but milk shouldn't be consumed as a drink, and even as a cooking product, it should be used extremely lightly.  Like soy, really, it should only be consumed fermented... that gets rid of most of the sugars... lactose if you prefer.  Though... I... am not completely sure about that.  But it's what I have left.  I'll have another dose of fast acting.

Will try to be to bed between 19:00 and 20:00 tonight.  More gaming, that last bit of chicken, pill medicines are in, and a dose of slow acting tonight.  I only take in the morning if I missed the night before.  Not only did I miss the night before, I missed the month, or more, before?  Weeks anyway.

Another shower in the morning.  Oh, and the beard needs just a bit more shaping.  One side has a... bit of a bump.  Getting rid of oddities in the beard takes... skills and experience I don't have.  But... there is only one way to get them.  Brush my teeth a third time, before bedtime, too.  I'll... try to resurrect my appearance presence after it has been degraded for weeks, months?  A... while.  I clean up well, there is that.

On to gaming.  Later.

No electrical outage?

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Don't... look at me.  Unless they read my blog, and can fill in blanks, they wouldn't have known about my complaint.  If I had wanted them to change it, I would have called them, anyway.  That wasn't the intention.  I wasn't happy about the way they were doing it.  Though, perhaps, I wasn't the only one, and others did call that down, and in?

Besides, I was napping.  I expected it would just be a bit later, or something.  As well, I was needing recovery time from the blood sugar drop.  I checked it, it is now 158, still nearly two hundred points lower than it was.  That was a heck of a drop.  I slept cold for it, too.  If, as I mentioned, the high reading wasn't... actually that high?  I mean, just because the numbers were high, doesn't mean my body was... reacting as if it were.  Something screwy in there.  There is no way that should have dropped like that, in a normal world.

I am getting a chicken hindquarter heated.  Sprinkled with chipotle, not cayenne, if 100k on the heat index.  Since jalapeno, which is smoked to become chipotle, doesn't reach that high, I am guessing it is actually a blend of peppers.  I don't mind.  I'm... not prejudice, in this regard.  As long as it is tasty.  Besides, this is just the mild hot stuff I have.  The actual mild stuff is more like the scale of actual jalapeno, but I can't taste the heat in that.  It is just for looks and a subliminal level of added heat, when I do blends of my own.

I am thinking more broccoli?  No.  I'll skip that.  The chicken is so much food, I'll be lucky to get through it.  Not in one setting.  What I did last time was leave some of the thigh and the whole drumstick for a later meal.  I will probably do that again.  Loverly stuff, or has been to now.  Will see if it lasted in the fridge well enough.  That, a fatted coffee, and I will take a minor dose of fast acting insulin, say 15 cc's?  20, if I have milk with it, which I might.

Well... on to dinner, and probably gaming.  Later.

Weird.

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Blood sugar was very high.  I hadn't been using insulin for... a... rather long time.  Plus, at the turn of the month, I ate a lot of carbs.  Beans, donuts, I let loose.  I had been so hungry last month.  Not eating high carbs, just not eating much.  So, I... crashed into the new month with starvation level cravings.  Blood sugar was about 350.

So... today, I took 60 cc's of slow acting, and 35 cc's of fast acting.  Even a two hundred point drop wouldn't be a problem.  But I have never seen a two hundred point drop.  Until today.  I'm not even sure how far it actually fell.  For, when I started feeling the floor coming up at me, I began eating.

I don't have anything sweet.  But I do have popcorn.  Did that, and fruit in kefir, twice, and other things.  My problem was how full I was.  Couldn't eat much.  I really do need to get mints.  Those... work.  And are cheap enough to keep in volume.  But, after eating several meals of popcorn and fruited kefir, I tested.  It was 75, just moments ago.  I am hoping to goes up a bit.  That was brutal.

Yes, the numbers, on the blood sugar device, don't always quite mean what they look to present.  I have been eating slight, and keto, again, for the last two weeks.  While blood sugar seemed high, it... really... wasn't?  Something like that.

I had planned to do some things, but I think a nap is all I will be able to do.  Brutal.  I didn't hit the floor, but... should have?  Could have.  I still will, only it will be a controlled fall, on to bed for a bit.  Ouch.

Electricity is still on.  Odd.  I can't do much with, or about, it.  To bed, for a bit.  Later.

Nice!

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Breakfast.  The custard was very pleasant, cool.  I only ate half, it is filling.  Sort of a magic dish.  Perfect for when eating is difficult, or you want to be full quickly, quietly.  I may have the rest for lunch.  Which... it is about that time.

A shower just now.  Oh, those are loverly things.  A bath would be superior, but I just can't keep up on that.  Trimmed my beard first.  I think I did a good job.  Shaping, trimming to the neck, shortening just a tiny bit, though more in some places.  The mustache part hadn't gotten down, over the lip, to where I was eating it, yet, but it was getting close.  Cleared that.  Very nice.  I'll see what it looks like after it dries and I brush it out again.  But it looked good before the shower, just curious if cleaning alters things.  If needs be, I can always do a bit more trimming and shaping.

I'll play a bit more, until the time for no electricity hits.  At least it is day, if a darker day.  I may see about doing some work, after the lights go out.

Well... on to it, then.  Have a great day.  God be with.  And may your efforts provide good fruits, by which you will be known.  Be well.

Power outage?

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Planned, for my town.  Apparently the whole town.  But... why today?  It is 35 degrees out there.  It is a two hour thing, so should, assuming things go as planned, be two hours.  So it probably won't be a problem.  I am turning the furnace from 68 to 74, in an attempt to store some heat.  It'll be a bit warm, for my current tastes, but hopefully not too terrible.

But why not do this a week ago, when the days were still hitting 70?  Or at least 60?  Why wait until it is 35, and raining?  They really need to plan these things better.  Is it bureaucracy, or trying to be cheap by pushing things to the last minute in some bean-counter theory of saving money, when they really aren't saving money.

No, perhaps, the parts they needed were on backorder, and only arrived.  These days, what is needed is what is missing.  The junk you don't need, is both plentiful and cheap.  If you want a huge television which spies on you?  Cheap.  They are almost giving those away.  They haven't gotten the message, from brighter people, that being spied on isn't of interest.

I wondered how they got dirt on every one in power.  And, everyone has dirt, mind you.  Their televisions, electronics of various sorts, and the internet.  Stalin would have loved the modern world.  That is how he got, and held, power.  Well, and people's shame.  Interesting how weak atheists, and other non-believer types are, to their sins.  They try to suggest they don't care, but they are terrified of people finding out what they truly are.  And, only the worst of them are allowed access to some power, if those who 'give' them power, have the power to change anything they do or say.  Or to simply toss them aside, when they are done with them... BoJo, as an example.  And his near sister, twisted and tossed in record time.  Interesting.

Well...  I'm gaming.  Moving right along.  Though, with some missions, they are almost pure puzzles.  And, while I am decent at puzzles, at some point I run out of options.  In the current mission, I had to solve... six rather intricate things, and have done well.  But... I am done.  I can't find anything else, or even see anything to manipulate.  This game just pulls new things out of it's butt, without giving you any clue as to how to solve it, from past experiences.  Which is fine, up until it isn't.  So... I'm actually on here to look that up.  I even figured out how to grapple the batmobile over an edge, to give me an angle by which to fire it's cannon at the roof, as an example of... problem solving.  But, at this point, I can't sort what to do next.

Anyway... on to... figuring out the game.  Ah, and I did get insulin in.  Though, I have quit trying to use just the long lasting insulin, and have added in the fast acting stuff.  I had gotten to 60 cc's of the slow acting stuff, and it isn't working.  Part of why I stopped insulin, was... pouting.  I was asked to do something that doesn't seem to work.  Well, back to it, I suppose.  Just... the way that works, not the way they want.  Later.

I made it to bed at a good time.

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What, exactly, that time was, I can't say.  Before 21:00, certainly.  Before 20:00?  Perhaps an half an hour either way.  And, I slept until about 04:30.

I did have dinner.  Which was much better than last time.  Slicing the roast pork too thin doesn't help it.  And, baking it, I don't think, is the way.  I put it on the broccoli, sliced about half an inch thick, and really, steamed it since it wasn't in the water.  Very well done, without being dry, or too fatty tasting.  And, I think the drippings helped with the broccoli.

I am planning on having half the custard this morning.  Just half.  While it seemed like I was eating, sort of, moist air pudding, it was actually very filling.  Half the custard, warm, was like eating a steak and potato!  I was absolutely stuffed.  Live and learn.  But it's odd how your tongue and palate can fool you, trick you.  

It should be much more muted, in flavor, if it didn't have a lot of flavor even warm.  Though, too, it should be much more solid?  I'll find out shortly.  That truly is an excellent meal for someone who is ill.  They can handle it.  My stomach wasn't up for food yesterday.  This... reset the trouble light, went in and eased the stomach, so by dinner time I was ready for something a little more.  It's like the chicken soup of upset stomachs!  Still, wouldn't be a bad meal once in a while, and is so easy to make.  Much... easier than it seemed to even my discombobulated mind.

Cooler, 59/58 upstairs, nearer me.  With the door open.  Though I think the vent is still blocked.  I may open that too... which may or may not help.  I slept warmly enough, in moderately warm pj's.  Slept longer than I thought I would.  I did wake earlier, at 03:30.  But wasn't feeling like getting up quite yet, couldn't quite do it.  But, really, that is my target time to wake.

Yes, well... some coffee, half the custard... which I was careful to cover so that air didn't get to it, litter has been handled, but I'll feed Sassy a bit later.  A shower, which I didn't get yesterday, if it thaws, I'll get the sprinklers and hoses pulled and put up, and I will stack the remaining wood against, or on, the pile.  It's... what's left to do.

Have a good morning and day.

I made it.

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Past 18:00, well past.  19:29.  I have a bit of dinner brewing... fresh broccoli and pork roast, with some of the onion baked with the roast.  Nothing fancy, but it will do.  As well, I am shutting down earlier.  Last night I was up until... well after 21:00 and perhaps after 23:00?  I... totally lost those numbers.  That is too late.  Tonight will be okay, if maybe a bit later than I like as well.

Sassy has been fed, her litter kept clear, some attention given, as she has requested, or just because.  Medicine has been taken... yesterday and today.  Oh, but insulin.  Ugh.  Always something.  Kefir has been being watched.  Not so much to see if it is done, because that would be unusual.  No, but because I like the scent of fermenting milk.  Either you do or you don't.  I do!

Gaming is moving along.  Still a lot of problems.  Remembering all the various keys, and key combinations, for the various activities, which can change even in different situations, or if they just... say so.  More, it is helping me stay awake.  I am still getting drowsy, as it gets dark and cold.  It is what it is.

Nothing fancy, but I did some things today.  Not even close to what I want to do, but not bad at all.  Goodnight, most likely.  God be with you.

Good.

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Oh, but even heavily spiced, so very mild.  I ate half of the custard warm.  The rest I will put in the reefer, when it cools, covering it with plastic wrap.  I am curious how it will taste cool/cold.

The texture was good.  It was baked correctly.  It wasn't overdone.  So very gentle and smooth.  I was happy with my first attempt.  And, yes, that would be excellent food if the world hurts, the stomach is upset, and digestion seems like too much of a chore.

I wouldn't even call it a dessert.  There just isn't enough there, there.  The sweetener is rather limited, mild.  Even the spices just don't carry through strongly.  Just a very soft meal.  I was very pleased, for my part.  I think younger people wouldn't like such a meal.  Most youngling need more sweet, or sour, or else.  And a stronger texture.  I... say this from experience.

I am doing quite the culinary efforts this month.  Started kefir, trying creme fraiche, considering a few other things, and this.  For a very weak month, this isn't bad.  Oh, yes, I am satisfied with what is being made, and going on... in a smaller way.  But, given the season, and that it was 22 F outside earlier, yea.  I... will slow down some.

A bit of gaming, maybe some coffee with it.  A shower.  Perhaps some pork roast and broccoli?  Then, on to bed.  Oh... but it's only noon thirty?  I have six of seven hours to go.  Ugh.  Well, I'll do my best.  Good afternoon, day, and goodnight(?), or more likely... later, gator.  

It has taken a lot of the day, but...

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I did get the custard mixed.  Needed to warm the eggs, just to room temp.  Did that, but forgot.  Went to check on something.  Ah, the oven was on?  Right... for the bain-marie.  Still had enough water.  I set the temp for 380.  Higher elevation.  A bit more heat, usually.  So be it.

Finally, I got it all going.  It is... actually... extremely easy to prepare.

I don't have, or couldn't find, the nutmeg.  I had a number of whole ones.  Gone?  Lost?  Tossed?  But I do have cinnamon.  Ah, ginger too?  Yep.  So, I added that, as a second flavor.  Vanilla, as well.  The gooder stuff.

I didn't want to do the milk in the microwave, but... I did it.  It took about a minute and forty seconds, in two parts, as enumerated.  It was warm enough so that I was very gentle with adding the milk to the eggs.  Scrambled custard isn't right!  But, that... went well.  I think.  I hope.  No breaking, or clotting, or such.

Oh, and I happen to have a vintage French tin charlotte custard mold.  I buttered the sides, right or wrong, and filled it.  Then, put the lot in the oven, in the water bath... for those of you who were curious what a bain-marie was, but were afraid to ask.

I have the alarm set for an half hour.  Then I will check every ten minutes until it is done.  So much simpler than I... felt like it would be.  If it turns out well, I will... try to do this a bit more often.  And, yes, it is the recipe, halved, which I showed here the other day.  I added an extra egg, for even my storebought are on the smaller side.  All good, I can work with near abouts, horseshoes, hand grenades, and other such notions and realities.  I think slightly more egg, than less, would be a good thing.  But it isn't that much more.

Kefir is just taking it's time.  Which is fine.  It does that.  It smells much... richer?  Yes, with the raw whole milk.  Much richer.  Oh, I love the smell.  It looks like it might be nearing done, but... will have to wait and see.

Tired as the dickens, but... trying to... do something.  Anything.  Even making food is something.  And, a food I should be able to tolerate.  Some warm, most of it will be eaten cooled.  If it turns out.  The only real issue, is dishes from cooking and eating.  Hoping the butter makes the mold easier to clean.  And I have medium sized ramekins.  I'd like larger.  But, if I need more, there is always seconds.

I'll continue gaming.  But, maybe, get a shower in too, before long.  I did finish the laundry, all dry.  Hmm, I may reset the towels to dry on high an half hour before showering.  That is always a nice little treat, in cooler weather.  What else?  I... am surprised I am still awake, doing what I am doing, and contemplating more.  Not sure, but maybe some other things.  Later.

Sometimes I see.

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Or... I think I see.  Something I find, or bump into, literally or virtually... figuratively?  Some things, when I find them, open some eye(s), which allow me to see, or believe I see.  I usually don't mention it.  I have found that speaking, or writing, on some things, causes... upset.

Still, I am still asleep enough, I decided to go ahead.  Just... few details will be shared.  Nothing personal, just... not everything is to be shared.

Up late.

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Down even later.  To bed at... 21:30?  Still, up at 03:10.  As it has cooled and darkened, life has become... problematic.  Falling off medicine isn't helping.  I'll... call, see if they will send some.  My doc was upset I hadn't been in for a blood test in a while.  Perhaps I could get that done first, then call.  He'll have the numbers in a few days.

I have had to put my phone on the "Do Not Disturb" portion again.  This time, it isn't random telecallers.  It is the Veterans Admin.  They want me to be involved with a queer study.  They wrote me three times, texted many times, and finally started calling.

I tossed their letters.  I turned their text invites off.  I listened just long enough to know what it was about, on the phone, then hung up.  And I stopped that phone line.  They called on new phone lines every other day since.  I blocked THOSE phone numbers.  Now they are calling me from a hidden number I can't block.  So... I just blocked all numbers not in my call list.

I will speak with my doctor and with the admin, somewhere, and get them to call off their filthy dogs.  I have no interest in talking about foolishness.  If they are down to that, to peddle some form of false medicine, I'm out.  I don't want to talk about it, least of all with some quota hire bureaucratic flunky.  "Hey kiddies, want some candy"?  My mommy told me not to talk to strangers, asshat!  Harassing!  Maybe a few complaints, in the right ears, will get that whole program and study shut down, tossed.

Oh, but at least I dreamed of... one of the women who got away.  A slim thing, I knew in the Navy, early on.  Called her Mississippi, because she was from there?  I don't remember.  I thought to shorten it, to Missy, but I liked her name.  A lithe young thing.  I was at her apartment, when she was in pj's, on the couch.

Oh, I... had a thing for her.  She for me.  We were trying to take it slow, back then.  Back then, for a right relationship, it was a ring, or two, then marriage, before pie was distributed.  At least for the marrying type.  For just lovers, it was hit and run.  Maybe stopping by to see if her knees were lonely, from time to time.  But, I at least, knew not to marry a woman to let me at it without marriage.

Yes, I... really wanted to be with her, and rightly.  Long dark hair.  Little titties, but... they just need some fertilizer.  Or... fertilizer will see to what they need, for biggen's.  We hugged, even kissed, just not on the lips.  We... knew better.  Women are so... wonderful... when they are... fresh... young... ready.  She was in the Navy too.  But I think she wanted to just be a wife, a housewife.  Little did we know, that program had been canceled the generation before us, which was why she was in the Navy in the first place.  Still, it... was a sweet dream, both then, and now.

I've got to get a grip of things.  I'm waiting a bit to feed Sassy.  And cutting her food to a single can a day... dispersing it in three doses.  Though, too, leaving the hard food available, and offering her treats from time to time.  I need a shower something awful.  I did hit my teeth again, finally, after some time just dragging around the house.

A shower, a bit later.  I did do laundry.  Dried inside for the snow and rain.  I need to trim my beard.  It... is a real, and large, and white, beard.  Any dog-faced man would be proud to have such a beard, if his ego can handle it being white!  I talking Zeus level beard, maybe Odin, on his beard bearing days.  A silverback beard.  Still, it.. could use some shaping, and thinning?  Is thinning a thing, or possible?  Or... may just trimming.  I'll... go reading... in a bit.

The regular kefir is taking it's oh so sweet time.  Though, then, as I remember, this is the first batch to use whole raw milk.  It is contending with natural things in the milk.  Perhaps merging, combining, mixing a bit?  But, also, competing.  It is always this way.  And it is cooling.  So that is how things go.  But it sure smells good.

A fatted coffee, as I thumb through things and wake.  I am hungry, of mind, but my body isn't all that interested.  If I can figure out how to make a custard, in a bain-marie, I may do that.  Soft food for soft and upset innards.

Well, that is that for now.  I'll get on to... other things.  Probably gaming.  Later.

Something is so wrong.

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I made it to 16:22.  I am going to try to finish it by staying up to 18:00 and some.  But I feel off, bad, uncomfortable in my skin.  Tired, in a strange way.  Pained in ways that aren't clearly defined.

Some of it might be from the stress of the game.  It isn't... just... difficult.  It is brutally difficult, so that it stresses me right down to some core things.  Getting a bit old for these games.  Even playing it on easy is brutal.  Then again, being easy isn't... all that easy.

Oh, and I think I lost track of medicine?  Yes, Thursday morning was the last time I took meds.  I'll... catch at least one dose for today, the other dose when I wake.

Hungry, but... I can't cook.  I could heat something up, but I am not... all that interested in eating, even while being hungry.  I don't think I could handle food.  Something inside just isn't... right.  It doesn't want food.  Sardines are way out, but even chicken or pork are too much, not right, can't do.

I'll... have some water, perhaps a glass of milk.  Then play the game for a bit.  Yes, the stress of the game is part of it.  Though the cool is too.  Though it looks like the snow has all, or pretty much, melted.  Interesting.  I wasn't sure which way it would go.

I'll... keep checking the kefir and creme fraiches, but I think those will take another day.  Later, perhaps goodnight.  God be with you.

Gaming and kefir.

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I check the kefir and else, when I am in the kitchen.  A bathroom run, or coffee or other sipping run.  It looked like the fruited kefir was just beginning to separate.  This is when I either split it out or refrigerate it.  Not sure, with this.  But, for this time, I just shook the jar a bit, then put the whole thing in the refrigerator.  I will try it later, when it is cool.  Not... the whole thing, just a sampling.  Eventually I will make a similar jar, but pull the fruit, when it looks done, and put that in the fridge.  Probably just eating the fruit there.  Plain berries, from frozen.  Much of the sugar is supposed to have been pulled out, by the kefir grains.  Though... will have to see about that.

The rest is nearing time to change.  But I like to let it go as long as it will, before separating, or too much.  The creme fraiche is moving very slowly.  But, everything from that was cold, and cream is so thick... will see in time.  I would like to say I'll just give it another day.  But that... isn't true.  I'll give it as long as it takes.  If it doesn't work, I may try again.  Just... things take the time they take.

Impatience is actually a gift, if you learn to manage it.  :)

I am sort of hungry, may get something shortly.  Nothing fancy.  Perhaps sardines and those keto crackers.  They really are good.  And rather low carb.  Lemon sardines, yes, that would do.  And a fatted coffee?  Or a tea?  Dunno, but something warm.

I am... not really getting better at the game, but I am getting through it.  As skill and equipment availabilities expand, life improves.  But, sometimes the game is horrible about sorting out how to do things.  A door seems like a dead-end, unless you are standing in the exactly right position.  And some of the skills required are pretty... rough.  Like aiming a baterang or such.  They inverted controls...  While they allow you to invert the inverted controls, it isn't... quite... normal even then.  Cheap game extenders.  Just... understand that.

Still, the game is... okay.  So far.  Fighting sequences still suck, but I think that is how it is supposed to be, until you get high enough "level", with more equipment and skills.  Regardless of what they say, it is mostly a button masher.  No way you can keep up on all the keys and skills, even at my current lower level, with fewer things to manage.  That is... the world of gaming, in many of these things.

Still, it is fun to play, until it gets screwy and I get frustrated... have to quit for a bit.  Later.

Pork and mashed cauliflower.

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Good enough.  The cauliflower was a bit old.  The pork was only so-so.  But... it... was food.  And the use of the oven and the stove heated the area, to help with fermenting things.  They do okay at 68, but a booster of warmth, from time to time, makes like even easier for them.

Keeping up on what Sassy needs, and wants.  Litter, food, attention.  Keeping water jugs shuffled, and full.  Four jars of water, half gallon jars, might seem excessive.  Especially when I also try to keep the collecting carafe full, and the reservoir full.  But, I usually cook with that water, drink it straight, and use it for coffee and tea.  Plus, I drink... two gallons a day?  It sure seems like it.  Well, and cook with, probably on average, an half gallon every other day?  

All I know is it takes a bit of effort to just keep in water.  I wouldn't want to try to do that for a family.  I'd either go whole house (which would probably be cheaper, and better, as fluoride in the water leeches through the skin).  Though most people use fluoride, so it isn't an issue for them.  I would do a whole house system if I could afford it, anyway, too.  But, as is, this is as good as I can do.  I tried the under-the-sink unit.  My problem is remembering to shut it off, while filling larger containers.  To be honest, I am surprised those haven't been outlawed, more for the water waste than anything.  Especially in California.  Though I suppose only the filthy rich do it there, and they run the programs, so...

I'm thinking of having a bit of kefir.  It looks like the quart jars of the stuff are fermenting quickly enough, now.  It takes the grains a while to wake and get to work.  But, when they do, they hit it pretty hard.  With the fruited kefir, I am waiting for the fruit to rise.  Or is it fall.  I'll have to recheck.  But I think, when they rise, it means the sugars have been used out of them.  Or was that only with vinegar?  I'll... look around.  The problem is, a lot of people talk without knowing.  Easy to get data, hard to get reliable data.  And, on y.t., I think they try to disseminate misinformation and malinformation as often as possible.  If it is being presented by one of the protected classes, they push it hard.

Oh, the creme fraiche doesn't seem to be doing much, not quickly.  I keep checking it though.  I am terribly curious about that.  I am hoping for a perfect dairy condiment for most of my former sour cream needs.  Plus, no chemicals, no salt, no... nothing.  I know exactly what is in this, and don't have to worry about soy, or sugars (of any sort), or else "slipping" into my food supply under the blind eyes of the FDA or other agencies.  They are just there to protect big money, and help China poison us... for a fee... at this point.

On to... gaming?  Sure.  Vehicle controls, and else, are still horrible.  That is just meant to make the game take longer, not for any other reason.  Hmm, some kefir, and gaming.  I think I have coffee already.  And some water.  I mix and match, sipping on each through the day.  Good morning, day, and else.  Be well.

Awake?

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Well, duh!  :p  And a bit feisty.  Staying up a bit later for the dairy helped me trip over the hour tickers.  I was able to stay up until 18:00, plus up to half an hour?  Or a few minutes.  When I push, I... forget, or am more prone to forget.  Then, I slept until 03:00, pretty much exactly.

Sassy was fed, first thing.  I checked the kefir and creme fraiche productions.  Not much going.  But, it got is 68 indoors, and 30 outside.  The snow, by the way, pretty much stopped where I described it.  If more came, some melted.  Which may have been the case.  That first snow is always so pretty, especially when it is just a dab on top of other fall colors and shapes.

Dreaming of Jeanie.  Oh, not the show girl, just a woman, who was interested.  We... explored, rightly.  It just wasn't to be.  Some women would love to be a housewife.  But that is so... expensive.  It's not really a thing these days.  Even in my days, despite all the push for it, it was a dead endeavor.  Oh, some still do it.  But it's... only if the husband can afford it, or they are willing to go without a lot of things.  It's mostly women who don't want to go there.  And, that... is... probably a form of wisdom.  Frugality will only get you just so far.  It is why feminism exists.  Nunneries aren't common, or well considered, anymore.  Academia is too filled with useless fillies these days already.  Even sex work rejects... some women.  There is no place for them.  It's low level employment, sex how and when they can get it, with whoever might offer it, and independence.

What do they call the guys who are involuntarily celibate?  Incels.  Well, a lot of feminists are just another form of incels.  They can't get, or keep, a man.  The high earners, performers, aren't interested in trading down.  Beauty is a start.  Though, even high earners are becoming incels, at least on the marriage scene.  Women aren't worth the risk, unless they come more loaded than they are.  With money.  And, those women are only looking for men with even MORE money, not some lower high status man.  The power dynamics don't work for either of them.

Then again, with everything crushing the family, personal wealth, and fertility, this will fix itself right out of existence.  When there are fifty thousand people, living mostly a tribal, hunter-gatherer existence, none of this will matter.  Those who can, will, breed, produce, be useful, or die.  The elites think they can cull a majority.  If they succeed, they will not be able to control the implosion.

I... have been praying for things.  I see the prayers doing something.  Then I see those things stopped.  I pray, further, that God deal with some things.  I... get the impression that God is letting men do what they will.  He isn't intervening.  He has handed men the keys of this kingdom, and is allowing them to explore the controls.  This won't end well.  On a worldly note.  In the final analysis, it is what must be done.  Can men back away from the brink?  Or... is the end finally nearing?

Oh, and some people seem to question why I add cream and sweetener too?

Thanks, Mike!

I still think this is more just the end of an era, an end of the Neo Rome... the fall of the Neo Jewish churches... a change of... season.  But, with nukes in the equations, difficult to say.  Some men would rather believe they are going to rule in hell, so abandon heaven.  They didn't gain power by being righteous, they aren't going to keep it by doing good.  So... you never can be sure.

Ah, but do not worry.  Until Christ returns, wars and rumors of me.  Later.