Better.

.

.

For the moment, again.  As when I woke for supper, warm sleep had helped.  Though I woke a time earlier, after supper, in impressive agony.  Which surprised me.  I thought, from feeling so much better, at super, I was getting through to the better side.  Nope.  Each time I wake, it is better or worse, but in the better episodes I begins to fail quickly.  So that taking a few sips of water, tylenol if it is time, then jumping back to sleep to attempt escaping agony, seems the best.

I am surprised either the condition, or the procedure effects, continue to physically or otherwise, plague me so long.  Thankfully, I have the time and way to attempt to sleep it off.

Sleep helped.

.

.

I was in such absolute misery.  I couldn'y get warm.  My feet hurt.  My wound hurt.  My insides felt bloated, bruised, and more.  I would call the sensation closer to absolute misery.  Worse, I couldn't escape it by sleeping.  It was simply too intense.

I got up for something.  This morning?  Time isn't, doesn't quite yet, make sense.  Just got up to get more electrolyte powder, vinegar, water, and tylenol.  Some of which to bring up.  I took four tylenol, but forgot extras.  About cried when I suffered down and up only to realize I had forgotten those.  I was terrified to make another trip any time soon.

Biopsy.

.

.

I've never had one before.  Kidney, left this time.  I wasn't at all sure what to expect.  As well, I am still suffering from... whatever has recently been plaguing me, plus the simple mechanical pains and mobility issues caused by a fractured or broken big toe (or two, both hurt terribly).

Still, this had to get done.  Stall after delay after reset, if it killed me, I was going in.  Today.

Better.

.

.

Probably temporary.  It seems that in early morning, for a while, my symptoms partially lift.  Still something of a stomach ache, minor feverishness, mild aches.  Just nothing crippling.  Mostly.  Still wouldn't be up for a marathon, or even heavy excercise.

Mother made supper.  Something I would easily eat.  A chuck roast in the crockpot.  But she added many vegetables.  No.  I am backing away from those.  I had to think about it.  I may have some meat, just no juices or veggies.  My week to month averages are all three below a hundred, for blood sugar.  My fasting read is 110, oddly.  With nothing but water for a day and a half.  And only one meal for the three days before that.  Meh, probably my metabolism pulling muscle for it's needs.

Still bad.

.

.

A stomach ache, bad one, remains.  The fever too.  I am mostly mamaging the chills.  The dry mouth is difficult, but having water up here helps.  I think I need to bring up doses of electrolytes and vinegar somehow.  Those things help, slightly more than water alone.  Perhaps drinking flat, reverse osmossis water too, rather than carbonated water?

Aches, pains, exhaustion, muscle weakness and pains.  A very difficult time.  I have had worse, but this isn't close to good.

I was able to get up for a bit.  And will do so again, if just to bring Jasmine in, test hydration recipes, and let mom know I am alive.  Well, and show her how to get Jasmine in her cage.  It will be a very short run.

I am in serious trouble.  In some ways it is better, in some ways it is worse.  Later, or goodnight again most likely.

Not... out of the woods.

.

.

Not quite yet.  I think the trees are thinning.  The parh is slightly easier.  But fever remains, muscle cramps... especially the legs, a continued stomach ache if milder, lungs are sore from the fever I think.  Little general aches too.  My joints, currently, aren't hurting though don't know if that is a short reprieve or if that part is better.

I did get up, had food and coffee, gamed, got Jasmine out, drank a lot of water, and am going back to bed.  What was hurting started to hurt more, fever and chills returned with vengeance, and my legs began giving out to cramps and exhaustion from just sitting.  Still, this is better.  Oh, and neck glands started to ache... like a sore throat, but not quite.

On to sleep.  Good night, day, whatnot.

So very sick.

.

.

My usual if irregular illness returned.  In some ways worse, in other ways not as bad.  Usually it is a combined fever and chills, and inability to do almost anything.  This time, while that occurred, it wasn't as cripling.  However, it also came with extreme random joint pain, general aches, plus specific pains at various points on my body, for example the sensation that I had been punched in the stomach enough to leave it aching, directlg hurting.

Usually it lasts a week, more often two weeks, sometimes longer.  This time it seems to be breaking in a few days?  Will know for sure in the morning.  One thing that may have helped is that mother offered a meal.  Something I couldn't have made.  I decided to at least try to eat, and was able to ingest and retain.  One meal, itself, couldn't have done it, but a cleaner house, food, and else, may have added to it.  Living in a sty is a good way to get and stay sick.

A bit rough.

.

.

A kink in the neck.  Difficulty sleeping.  Too many things to do.  Christmas almost upon us.  At least I am ready for Christmas this year.

I have been (trying) to sleep.  Mom isn't helping.  But I don't mind, most of the time.  If I can't wake, I just don't.  She is learning that waking a sleeping dragon, with a dire need for sleep, is not as fun as it might initially appear.

Weak day.

.

.

I could not wake for the life of me.  I did make it down for breakfast.  Barely and just.  Then right back to bed.  Up around, after, 16:00.  A few things for mom, myself, and a few things managed just as I was doing other things.

One thing is, I ordered a year planner book.  Mom uses one, and I am impressesd with how well it works.  She ordered a new one, as hers is aging out.  I ordered myself a large and small one.  Plus I am putting things in the phone.  We'll see.  I needed to get our schedules, so as to make plans for confession.

Resting, sleeping.

.

.

I have been hitting it hard.  The last few days to week.  Gaming when not doing one, or both somehow and the same time, of the other two things listed.  Much needed.  Between moving mom in, moving and clearing what of mine was still in the way, the prepping for improvements, while dealing with pets and mom?

It has been a brutal summer.  All good though.  Even if it ends up killing me, dying for something right has value... even should that defeat the very purpose of the death?  Amen, I say to you.  For we are already dead for our sins.  So dying for what is right, and good, is as good as it gets.

Needed rest, sleep.

.

.

Got some yesterday.  Wanted more today.  The problem was that the leftover siding and trim was out there.  And it is likely to snow tonight.  Or there is a solid chance of it.  I am not certain this stuff, laid out, can handle weather, precip, on it.  

So... I had to figure how to tote, say, fifty thirty to forty pound panels, and some heavy trim pieces, into the garage and store it above.  As well, help mom a bit in the garage so as to, finally, again, back the Xterra in, for the first time this summer.  Can't clear the drive with the auto on it.

A very good dinner.

.

.

The initial plan, not mine, was food at 13:00.  We ate an hour or two later.  As you know, if you know me, time is irrelevant.  Events occur when they do, because of course they do.  Make all the plans you like.  Reality perfits.  Your plans are great, until they aren't.  Which usually means as soon as your plans meet reality, physics, limits, time, and such.  Mother doesn't agree, but that is her problem.  Reallity and myself are happy to just be.

A very good meal.  I would have roasted the bird longer.  Mom decided it was time.  The thermometer agreed with her, even so I would have let it go for another half hour to more like hour.  She ate it, without fuss, but put the remnants back in the oven to finish.  Not terrible, or even raw.  But, medium rare.  I like it that way, on to medium well.  She not so much.

Happy Thanksgiving!

.

.

We finished shopping yesterday.  We had the goose, and most ingredients.  With medical appointments in Ogden, work on the house, exhaustion, and else, getting to the store, for final ingredients, wasn't possible, until it was required.

I'll tell you, I hate shopping the day before a holiday.  Any holiday.  Anywhere.  On the good side, in a mostly white area, at least the worst I face is crowded aisles, slightly reckless folk (though apologetic, usually, in incidents), and some grumpy behavior.  The boons have learned not to ape in these areas, so far.

Almost all of it.

.

.

One window, built to the wrong spec of what was ordered, is being rebuilt.  For now there is just a piece of wood in the space.  It is all ready, the installation should be fast.  They said to give the bath twenty four hours for calking to set, I'd like to give it another day, forty eight hours.  If longer, for me.  With the limit of a fifty gallon tank, not enough hot water to fill the thing to hot.  Maybe not even warm.

Now, rest, and sleep.  I was beginning to screech, physically, under the efforts.  Too little sleep, even rest.  Too much noise, when trying to sleep, constant waking, for questions, and a lot of work.  Before and even between contracted work.  My ears are ringing from the levels of stress and agitation.

Two, and waking up.

.

.

I have been awake since midnight.  Reading, listening, deciding if I should get up or try to sleep a bit more.  Cold.  Not... frigid?  Mostly.  But not able to warm enough to sleep well.  And... feeling good, generally, otherwise.  So might as well get up.

I want to take a shower first thing.  They say they can replace the tub in one day.  Promises, promises.  Then clear out the bathroom... the built-in drawers, but the cabinets too, just to be sure.  As well, clear the room generally.  Other than that, no work today.

A bit.

.

.

I was awake at five, or so.  Having gone to bed around 20:30.  Never got Jasmine for a walk, but did get her out early.  Fed the cats, made my coffee, set up coffee for mom, then gamed.

Mom woke around nine?  She slept well.  Pushy, still, today.  Some of which is fine.  Still have some things to do for the walk-in tub install tomorow.  But this morning it was mostly getting drapes and sheers up.

Dodging bullets.

.

.

That activity seems to be a family affair.

After all the candy, fruit, and other carby food eaten from October twenty seventh to the tenth, then off and on until even yesterday, really, I decided it was time to see the damages by checking blood sugar.  A fasting draw, which, when I go bad, is the worst but most honest number.  Fasting blood sugar is brutally honest, unforgiving, uncompromising.

Closing in.

.

.

The last of the pushes, for external causes, is nearing completion.  The windows are going in Saturday.  The new tub is going in Monday.  More needs to be done.  Some tomorrow, some Saturday, maybe a bit Sunday.

Things, more things, to be moved.  A few drawers to be emptied, in the bathroom.  As they will most likely be working behind the built-in cabinetry.  So much has already been done.  But that last mile is sometimes the hardest.

Awake for a bit.

.

.

Water was already tended.  Though I needed to refill the reservoir.  A keto bread pudding mother recently made was crumbled, heated, then dosed with cream.  No coffee, just water tonight.  Enough left so when she woke, I set her up with the last portion.  She liked how I did it.

I took Jasmine for a bit longer of a walk.  New territory.  I can see the tracks someone is making through my back acre, into one of my outbuildings, and to another neighboring field.  A pretty regular path.  Surprised, Jasmine both tinkled and pooped.  All good, just that was the first time she has done a number two, let alone twice.  Being on the field, I don't mind, this time.  Will start taking bags to get that, from now on.  Even on my land, but definitely on other people's proprty, even on public spaces... of course.

To the doctor, finally.

. 

.

After the hospital failed to do renal checks, twice in a row, at the blood draws, and then the V.A. approved the local visits... but decided to not send the approvals causing a third failed visit, I finally got in.

Not good news.  My kidmeys are down to 10%.  From 15%, which is down from 19% earlier this year.  On the good side, my bp was low enough, right in the office, to reduce medicine.  The only other request was to reduce, for now, magnesium... as a supplement.