Well, a start.

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The first small portions of dishes were washed and set back for a second wash, save a cast dutch oven which is done.  As well, a good meal of lamb chops and eggs was made and eaten.  Lamb is pretty rich, which is either a draw or repulsion.  Eggs, with runny yokes any way, helps level that out.  I have just enough time for a second meal if I want it.  Not sure I actually want it, but I may need it.  Or I'll have popcorn.  Popcorn isn't great, in once sense.  But it is an easy way to get fats into the diet.

A trick I do with butter, at this point, is... especially with my ability to taste salt being questionable, is to add salt, but also dried herbs and garlic, stir the spices into the butter, then pour it on.  Any other way and too much flavor settles to the bottom.  I just use a typical italian spice blend.  That evens out the flavor, and I can taste it better than salt when my ability to taste is weak.  Might be something to try, however you do your popcorn, though.  It does take some practice.  With your seasoning not all ending up on the bottom, the flavor is much more potent, salt included.  So... if it fails the first few times, start quantifying... a teaspoon of this, an half teaspoon of that, or to your tastes.  Oh... and I think even with normals, your tastes will change.  While we can quantify, we aren't objective beings.  Go light, you can always add more, as my final tip.  Yeah, I'll just go with popcorn.  I'm too close to the end of my eating time for more of a meal.

I did pull more meat out to thaw.  I have hamburger already thawed.  I pulled out more, a steak, and a ham chunk.  I'll do beans again soon.  I just won't eat it singularly.  That'll open up the valves.  Sometimes it doesn't, for me.  Sometimes it does.  More if I haven't been eating correctly lately.  Anywho...

A bit more gaming, another hit on the dishes, and maybe knocking that set out, then a shower or bath?  That's the goal.  Might put a load of laundry through... towels... first with baking soda, then vinegar... or was it the other way around?  There is supposed to be a way to strip towels back to the basics... get that... tang out of them.  I'll give it a try, let you know what I think.  If I remember to do it, then if that if I remember to notice and report.  Bleh.  Later.

M'okay.

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Look, I realize sometimes my body is so... down... so something... that things don't work.  I didn't realize that included taste.  Or, maybe I did.  It's a lot like depression, I suppose, only it's not chemically, but physically, based.  Simply, the parts involved are not getting enough blood.  Or not enough chemicals can be created to transfer sensations from the source to the brain.

Off and on for the last month, though fairly regularly, I haven't been able to taste various things.  You know how powerful some gum flavor is?  Yeah, couldn't taste it.  Salt was becoming a problem, could not taste it.  Had to be careful when cooking and seasoning.  I could taste a bit of a burn, if I used too much, perhaps way too much, but nothing else.  Flavor is back.  It's been like this for the last 30 years, worse for most of it.  Simply, I didn't remember, not for long.  I am starting to figure this one out, just not how to deal with it, always.  It's nice to have flavor back though.

I've been gaming.  The Shadows of Mordor, this time.  I don't know what I think of it.  It's a bit of a pita, in the sense that I've not played a game like it.  On one hand, it is interesting.  On the other, it'll let you get in way over your head from the start.  It is easy to burn out on the game.  Further, even as I level up, as complicated as that is, it doesn't really seem to make gameplay any more reasonable.  I just broke into the second tier of skills and such, so I'll know more in time.

Odd how, even when I can't taste, or feel, or think, I can still do a sudoku in 5 to 10 seconds, or play a game meant for those with reaction times of the young.  Then again, I'm not sure the young have that fast of reaction times anymore.  Without experience in competitive physical activities to back up electronic, something is missing.  I know a lot of guys my age who have quit, because they simply can't play.  If I quit, it is because I simply don't like the system.  Some games cheat, and make it a timed, rather than speed thing.  Most do, probably.  I do hate that, especially when it is too obvious.

Later.

Another regularizing day.

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I can't say things are perfect.  I can say I have waken at about 5:30 (actually 5:41 by my computer, which is off, but it's what I used because it's the first thing I see and it is the same thing each day) for a week?  Longer?  I have been doing bits and pieces each day, if not what I hope to do.  Yeah.  Well.  I am feeling mostly rested.  I am not in pain.  I am not too foggy.  Everything seems to be doing well.

Dreams last night.  Of childhood, of things that existed in those times, of how I thought.  While I was certainly a child compared with how I am now, I... never was a child.  I knew far too much.  It wasn't mechanical knowledge.  I could see into people then.  I thought so, but the dream... cemented that notion.  I could see sin.

Of course, what passes for sin today, often, is not sin.  Much of what is called sin isn't any such thing.  The ten commandments, plus the first two... 'go forth, prosper, and multiply', along with some others.  Some sins, or more prohibitions were eliminated... that of foods mostly... 'worry about what comes out of your mouth, not what goes in it'.  I use pairs of " ' " these when I paraphrase.  Many translations, not sure which you might be using.  There were other things, though... for example, long hair on a man is one thing that has been called an abomination.  Yeah, it's in there somewhere.  There are differences between prescriptions, proscriptions, and sin though too.  A question though... while Jesus predates the writer of the long hair thing, if Jesus had long hair, he would have known of it.  So... either Jesus didn't have long hair or the writer (or one who was quoted) thought that not all things Christ were good for all Christians?  It's homework, for you, I don't have an answer.  Not a trick question, just... a question.

See sin?  Aye.  Much as I see in the dark today.  I have mentioned it, put up music videos about it.  See.  Right into the heart of a man.  Right into my own heart.  The old riddle, 'Everyone has it, but no one can lose it'?  A shadow.  But that is more a story, for I was without shadow for the longest of time.  I was in the dark, of the dark, from the dark.  There are no shadows away from the light.  But sin?  That would be a better answer, at least in this place, in this time.  And see it I do.  And did, even as a child.  Grating.  Especially to have come to understand it was, and will be again, a time without sin... even in hell.  Not yet, here or in hell, but... soon enough.

Well, as I said, better.  And jibber jabber.  Dreams can really make me think.  Oh, and I am back to daily fasting.  Eating what I wish in a four hour block, the rest is for without food.  Daily fasting isn't even really that harsh.  I can eat enough potassium, if I keep greens, beans, and such on hand and in the queue.  A couple weeks of this, and medicines back to regular, and then I start on the two or three day fasting cycles.  Good day.

A regular morning.

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How long it will last is another question.  At about 5:30 I was awake and up.  To be honest, that is the perfect time to wake.  Not much traffic to disturb sleep, nothing expected quite yet, time to wake and make a grab at doing other things, time for planning or just some quietude.  If I can find my bible again, I might start reading from it, a bit each day.  A study guide would be good.  I'll look into a study guide.  Quit talking and do, right?  Right.

Today?  I don't know.  I didn't end up doing much else yesterday.  I am hoping to do some cleaning today.  Just a few loads of dishes.  If I do what I have planned, then maybe a load of laundry.  That is all I will schedule in or my mind will overload.  If I end up doing more, it won't be because I overscheduled.  I am in the sort of space where planning to much can kill everything.

I thawed meat as well.  I am setting up to have breakfast.  Steak, and maybe eggs.  I have cleaned the litter boxes and fed the girls already.  Keeping the litter boxes sorted is more important in winter than summer.  I can't just open up and air things out as easily or often.  Though, push come to shove, I can blast the furnace, open some windows, and turn on a fan for a bit.

A shower, maybe a bath, would be good today.  I may try epsom salt without anything else, if I bath.  My feet are getting better.  It's slow though.  It'll take those a long time to truly heal.  And it will require regular use of the water pill and compression socks.  Not absolutes, but pretty regular.  Being a form of chaos, I can't do absolute regularity and do well.  You'll just have to trust me on that.

I've salted the steaks, then I let them sit for an hour.  I had to work the cast pan a bit, but that is done and ready.  It wasn't too bad, or bad at all really.  It's just... that is how cast is.  It's fussy and takes a little work before, during, and after.  Sometimes more, sometimes less.  You know, cheese would go well with the eggs while I am at it.  Later.

Some things just don't fly.

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I have tried to watch vampire diaries, or whatever it is called.  It's a monster series, from a female perspective.  It is why feminism is doomed.  And, yes, all women are feminists.  The pretty ones just... find that male company is better than female solidarity, by far.  Even if they hate it, too, often enough.  Anyway, after bleeding manliness off the way one might bleed heat in the North Atlantic in winter, trying to watch the first two episodes, I have given up.  There is no monster story in there worth digging through that much estrogen to try to find.

I turned the heat up, but it's not helping.  I may turn it up a bit more.  The hope is to do some work in the cave today.  A few small batches of dishes, perhaps some laundry, maybe a little clean up in the kitchen, and just possibly setting up for food again.  I've been seriously off my feed.  Popcorn, a can of sardines, and that's been on heavy food days.  I also need to figure out medicine and get more regularly on it.  I have been on it, just sporadically.  As I begin to do better, getting more regular with that will help.  And getting on the last medicine, carvedilol, might help... after it hurts and I work through it.

I may start a game.  I simply cannot handle the series.  Not sure I want to start up X-Files.  Though, if the game falls through, I may just begin X-Files.

It is getting cool out there.  Later.

Now that was different.

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Several things seem off.  First?  My mother called to check on me.  She said she has tried to call me for the last three days.  I have received no messages and no trace of a call.  Further, the last time we spoke, she said my brother had called, and left messages.  Again, no messages were recorded, no trace of a call, or calls, was indicated.  I have been waking at about 5:30 the last week or more, and using my phone in the morning to play sudoku.  So...  No clue about that.  I wonder if Verizon employees are adamantly anti-Trump protest types, and are screwing with some people and our lines, redirecting, not connecting through, or hacking?  Or are other such types doing so?  All I know is that I am not receiving calls or messages, but can call out.  I need to get rid of this "smartphone" I do believe.

The reason for her call was also... unusual.  It has happened before, it is simply rare.  She wanted to know how to cook bok choy.  It seems that has become available... someone is growing it and offering it, but being "strange", few are taking it.  She dared, but didn't know, exactly how to deal with it.  And she remembered that I had cooked it for her before.  It is good to, even if only rarely, be of culinary assistance.  She taught me much of what I know, and has advised on a thousand and one recipes or techniques.  She has taken two or three helpers, a few bags of groceries, and fed armies.  She can go simple or rather fancy.  She might not know exotics, but anything on a local, regional, and probably national level, she can work with.  Bok choy, essentially, is a form of cabbage... to me.  Stir fry, perhaps even kraut, steam, and I would even consider making slaw with it.  All the cabbage sorts can be used as a pseudo raw noodle replacement, if that works better with some sauces than others.

It did snow, by the way.  If an inch and an half was had, most of it melted.  It started with a rain, which, I think, is why only the grass seems frosted.  The drive and road doesn't look iced.  Which... super.  I may, if I can, get out and attempt to pull some of the stems out to the roots, the ones which would not come up by raking/cutting with the flat-bladed shovel.  I got most of it.  I just ran out of energy after an half hour of tinkering, along with the rest of the day.

Another project, replacing the rear windshield wiper is proving difficult.  I checked at my usual maintenance shop to no success.  I have checked amazon, but... I just don't trust them.  I called autozone today, but they don't have anything listed.  I may have to call the dealership.  I would like to get an extra arm, if that may not be needed, and a couple of extra blades.  If it's proprietary, I hate having to wait, potentially, for delivery.

Yeah, I was up at 5:30 this morning.  Doing good, actually.  I have the furnace set to 66, it's frozen outside, and a t-shirt and unders are good enough.  Actually the girls want it warmer.  And I may turn it up to become a bit more active.  A shower and a call or three.  More business.  If that all works, then maybe more.  So much to do, so little time, so behind.  Good day.

I actually did do more.

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Business, so far, mostly.  I had packages to return, four of them.  Complicated, a bit.  Had to trick around to figure out what with which, but did so.  Then to find a box that was the right size per grouping.  A bit of packing helped.  Then in to town.  After that, I got the auto washed.  It may snow tonight or tomorrow.  As much as an inch and an half may land.  I have weed remnants in the drive!  I took out one line of them, may work on more.  That makes shoveling a serious chore.  I really need to get weed killer on that, and not just for this reason, next year.  Weeds will wreck a drive.  I probably ought to get a crew in to work on that, next chance I see... if I have the money.  Argh!

I did have pizza, as a reward.  Yes, yes, but it's been... a while... a long while... since I've had a treat night.  I might even sip a tipple or tres.  Bonne!  See what I did there?  I'll probably, in truth, only have one good nibble of Blanton's... a mild but true bourbon.  I told you I'd be trying bourbon.  Now, though, when I have a tipple every six weeks or so?  It's... just a tipple.  Maybe two.  It'll take me a year, maybe two, to drain that hooch.  That, my friends, is drinking.  I don't even actually catch a buzz.  It's for the taste, mostly.  There is minor blurring along the edges, only slightly more than what the end of the day normally brings.  Yes, a sip, or two, but no more.

I'll be finishing the Teen Wolf (?I think?) series tonight, then probably starting on another monster series.  There is a lot of suck in it.  It's a teen thing.  Oh, and they cram every queer type they can, and multi-culti, to brainfuck the kids.  Most kids, though, know better.  No amount of teaching really does change kids' minds.  They might get stuck in something stupid, but they know it's stupid.  I think the end of the like for that is on the horizon, and it has nothing to do with my gen, or those before.  Just common sense intersecting with reality.  I think the new series is diary of a vampire, and I expect it will be just as pussified with multiculti too.  I've only bought some of it.  If it's too much I will dump it.  I have X-Files, complete minus the new mini-series or movie or whatever most recently came out.  Pretty lefty, too.  But in the mostly white-ethno way.  Bleh.

Later.  Or good night.

Better, a bit.

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I did make it to the post office.  Packages, mail, just to get out.

Which meant a shower, dressing, and all.  It's been a long time.  I did get the trash out for Monday, so brought the bin back while at it.

I'd love to do more.  Not sure that will happen.  I did check blood sugar, it was 245.  But that is without fasting and without insulin.  Then again, on insulin, it was going up and beyond ~650-700... beyond my device's ability to measure.  So, if it's a choice between 245 w/o medicine, and that on medicine, I'll go without.  Still, fasting, when I can get back to it, should solve this.  Time... *tick-tock*

I have been doing bits and pieces in the kitchen.  First I hit the parts that were malodorous.  Dishes, pots, and such with experiments going on... the cat litter boxes, and trash.  I got most of it in one fell swoop, yet there is always more.  I got it from worst to tolerable though, and have been doing bits more as I can.  Life, even if you keep things clean, is a dirty project.  No matter how well you keep things clean... it smells.  I guess that is why women use so much perfumed products, from actual to deodorizers.  Then again, scent is more their area than ours, on top of it.

More and more to do.  I never get caught up.  I realize I never can get caught up.  To even get close, it takes someone who believes, and is willing to bet on it.  This is not our area.  Even with women, it's only some of them who have any interest in doing that.  I have some business to do.  After which, though, I may consider looking into cleaning services.  I honestly don't think I can afford them.  And I'm not sure I can trust them.  Still...  I figure, if I could get some of it, I could do some of it.  The incentive to do more, and the price of doing less, would be coin... if I can negotiate a reasonable situation.  Yeah.  Of course, there are some other things I really need done, so I have to be cautious about things.  Plumbing problems, a new floor in the kitchen, and maybe help or simply having someone in to redo the bathroom.  Bleh.

On to the day.  At least I am up and moving, mostly.  Good day.

Good good.

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Even if it is dark, I am waking early.  My clocks are still off.  It looks like I was up at about 5:30.  It's the perfect time to have a full day and make it through the day... if I can.

Yesterday I finally cooked again, after a rather long time out.  Food just wasn't tasting good, which didn't help.  Ham and beans, a rather large amount of it.  I'll tell you, that is some seriously good food.  And it gets everything working more quickly and easily.  It sure sounds busy out there, on the road.

I am hoping to get up, showered, and out, in time to hit the post office.  You would think, with this kind of a running start, that the goal could be guaranteed.  That's not how it works.  While I can and do get out of bed at some point in every single day, I don't always rise to even the level of function.  Getting out is one or two more stratas above that, even just to the post office.  It means showering, dressing, then going.  It isn't always just physical, it isn't just concentration, and even if those are both a check, there seems to be other sorts of problems.  A little help wouldn't be bad.  Having a woman around, or my mom when I lived with her, to a point, can help a lot.  Uhrm, if she wants to be helpful.  Though, to my great enticklement, even when a woman is being demotivational or attempting to hamper my will, that can help. *evil grins*  And is sexy.  Get it up!

Well, winter is coming.  I have the oil change and tire rotation completed.  I have a few more things I'd like to do.  Business and a bit of work.  I am doing bits more, but I am getting to things so slowly and weekly.  Ugh.  I'll keep at it.  Later.

Well, there is always that.

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I meant to make some changes on my blog.  I meant to get rid of the "writer", and just have the original operator.  Both are my identity.  I had simply thought having both my accounts have access would facilitate some things.  That didn't work out.  Anyway, when I disconnected an account, it was the wrong one.  Yeah.  On the good side, I didn't sever my connection.  I did have to figure out how to do some things a different way.  A way I don't like to do them, which was... why I was changing things.

It doesn't matter if you are tired or awake, doing good, or buys, or doing poorly... mistakes just happen.  Fine.  Now, to fix it won't be a great problem.  However, it will mean regaining access to an unused email address.  Of course, not only is it a weekend, it's a holiday weekend.  Yeah... Today, maybe?  Is it a four day?  I don't think so, but who knows.  I'll know shortly when I check to see if packages on the way have moved.

Oh, I did get the trash out, and do some work on some pots.  Ugh... I'm talking... science project level pots.  When you throw something out and you are pretty sure it's growling at you...  Yeah, well.  I really was down, and hard, for a bit.  I am hoping this is the week where I get back to things.

I think things are mellowing.

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Some of it was seasonal, some of it was medicine, some of it was politics.  Trying to figure out how to get away if she was elected, with what I feel I need... with the least loss.  Even now, figuring out how to get out, even if a bit more slowly, is... something of a trick.  Where to go, how to clear out, clean up, move out.  It's a lot to do.  And, of course, money.  I have to start living differently, right now.

I may not make it out.  It may not be possible.  Not where I wish to go.  Though, perhaps, somewhere.  Or not.  Still tending some thoughts.  It sort of depends, to, a bit, how Trump shapes up.  If he is just another typical Republican/Democrat wash, then... yeah.  He is merely stop-gap.  If he undoes Zero's darkcraft quickly, and begins swinging the bow around?

The wilds aren't all that comfortable.  They are dangerous.  Risks and other assessments must be made.  I would really like a visit to Alaska before making the move, but the time and money involved...  It's a heck of a thing just getting up there, with wheels, minus airplane.  I'm not even sure about getting through the Canadian border, or back through to the US, on the road.  Nasty in both directions, for different reasons, even if you have clean intentions.

Just... thinking.  Dreams, while I slept, reminded me of my intent.  Perhaps, even if it isn't my absolute desire, as with coming here, my dreams will push me.  Dreams?  Not just dreams.  It took, God I think, four or five years to shove me out here.  I don't think Alaska is a choice unless...  Not sure which is worse though, a wife or the wilderness... or if there is even a difference sometimes.  Different sides of the same thing, mother nature.

Time and a few things.

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It may not be as quickly as I had thought.  I will be ending my association with gab soon.  I'm not a good fit.  It has been "new".  It is addictive.  But it doesn't really add anything.  Socializing with complete strangers.  I suppose some sort of relationship is created.  Just as often someone who is ignorant, none too bright, or just a jerk, is on the other end.  Mocking, but as leftists do.  They never really do just say they don't like what you said or your music.  They actually do just the opposite.  It's difficult to tell what you are dealing with, probably ever.  Snark doesn't do well online.  No tells.

How much longer I will stay is sort of up in the air.  I'd like to wait for Trump's inauguration and first hundred days.  There is some good info, from time to time, there.  If too, there is a lot of junk-false news.  Or just the loony bin stuff.  I am so itching to leave.  It is just a matter of time.

Then, sometime... perhaps before, maybe after, I will end blogging.  I don't know if I should kill the blog, but I am thinking that is probably right.  Between youtube and blogger, the older posts, especially with music, are falling apart.  I really can't keep up on them.  Every once in a while, if I track a hit back, I'll try to fix a page.  But it's... too much work, and not always possible anyway.  Yeah, best to just take it down.  Probably.

I don't know that I'll be able to get to anything more.  Maybe.  The future will just have to be what it is, when it comes, as those things happen.  Yeah... I'm giving you fair warning.  The day is coming.

Good night, Mr. Leonard Cohen.

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Nothing I could say would properly express his life or the learning and joy I gained from it.  A few of my favored pieces.  How best to celebrate some special individuals?  With their own works.  Rest in peace.  A prayer for the resolve of your soul is in the works.

Wonderful.

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Wonderful headache.  Oh, and a bit of nausea.  Wonderfully messed up body.  Wonderfully missed appointment.  I think I can manage the headache.  It isn't a migraine, but is enough offputting I will attempt to treat it.

I changed my doctor appointment to today.  I was awake.  I knew it was coming.  I tracked the time, and... time blew right past it, with me in tow.  How do you drop two to three hours.  Well, it means I'm still doing poorly.  I used to drop weeks, so...  A few hours is what it is.  I just wish it hadn't been today.  Nothing to do but keep at it.  I won't bother making another appointment until I am clear of this psychic... and physical... muck.  Fog?  Fogue.

I'll just... I don't know.  I am hoping to break through before long... or settle in for a long winter of mostly sleeping.  I've been seriously off my feedbag as well.  Which is fine.  I have been meaning to fast, at least daily, for a while.  I am there, I think, or more.  Which also means I need to be getting the potassium in.  Ugh.  There is always something.

Just checking in.  I am just awake.  Days and nights might have shifted back aright, but with the winter darkening, it almost doesn't make a difference.  All good anyway.  Good day, and morning.

Hmm, so it is.

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I tried to stay up later yesterday, to see if Florida, at least, would get called.  I simply ran out of energy.  I left the machine on, so I could easily check if I woke, then go on back to bed hopefully.  I did wake.  Not having to fuss with getting the machine functioning, I hoped I could go back to sleep right away.  That simply didn't work out.  Everything was up in the air, but in a much more potentially positive manner than...

Look.  I didn't think he would win.  I wanted him to win.  I shilled for him, without compensation.  I took some hits for him.  And I hit at him.  It's my way.  Friend or foe, blows of some sort will happen.  Not always, as with Mr... president... Trump.  Testing the tires.  It is how my kind do.  I actually avoid physical, and have for some time, if that wasn't always, even so, my choice.  Sometimes one would step up to champion, sometimes my claims went unanswered.  I am simply not afraid of asking hard questions, serious questions, to me.

To my mind, even so, he held up well.  Not so all of his champions.  But, then... most people, not even men, should step up when I am at bat.  I don't play to be civil, I play for blood.  I mean to win, even if playing the devil's advocate.  If you want gentility, go to the lady's knit club.  Uhrm, or... not.  Depends on the bloody mood of the brood.  Go play softball with the girls.  They might play for blood, but they don't have that much to offer that way.  I'll make you legless, freefalling in gravity, then further slam you even faster on your way down, just to see if you can take it.  As I said, he did well, not so all his champions.  What a pussy world this has become, and that's many of the men.

So, I stayed up, and watched.  None of the sites offering information could be trusted, by me.  I was not going to open cookies for the NYTimes, or abccbscnbcnbccnn or any of them.  So I had to get what news I could from others, on gab.  Every station, to me including fox, seemed to be shilling for Hillary.  All night.  Even when they realized they had no chance, they still tried to push her way.  Last I heard they were trying to suggest she won the popular vote.  Which... I doubt.  Wonderful.  I had, days ago, in spite of my doubts, bet he would get 305 or better.  I'm still not sure if he got there, or yet.

As a return favor, I called my mother this morning.  I wasn't sure which way she have voted.  She was cheery yesterday, though that could go either way with her.  I was just as cheery this morning.  Hi.  Good morn.  Sleep well?  *chitter chatter*  Oh?  Did you know your man won?  *dead silence*  Who, Trump.  Uhm-hum.  This and that.  Well, she was a woman.  Still is, as are over half the people in the nation.  I knew, then, who she was with.  You know, with over half the population female, and them have the vote since... 1919, or maybe effectively 1920... and we haven't had a woman president?  Just the history of women, and how they voted, should tell something.  But, nooooo.  Then again, this wasn't even close.  I'm curious to see if this was a Reaganesque beat-down or a little less.  It was harsh.

Still, favor returned.  She was so chipper and smug yesterday.  Wonderful.  You know though?  I should have told her Hillary won.  Oh... the schadenfreude when she heard otherwise.  Gosh... maybe next time.  Not sure if I can get back to sleep any time soon, or if I will simply try to push through the day.  Ugh...  I'm doing okay so far.  But I know I am running on vapors.  Later or... much later.

Okay, changes.

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Small things, yesterday.  More today?  Maybe.

My mother called this morning.  Just a check-in and flyby.  Well, and an election jab.  It's how my family 'do'.  It doesn't matter which side of things.  If they know which side you are most likely on, they'll poke you in the eye with it.  Not too poignantly, just enough to see if you still have reflexes.  I just laughed.

She said my brother has been calling, has left messages.  I haven't received any calls or messages.  Unless his numbers have changed I have him programmed in, both home and cell.  I couldn't call him right then, too early.  I did try a bit ago.  He didn't answer.  I didn't want to call his cell, that would more likely have meant he was out, perhaps voting?  Anyway, there is that.

Another shower today, I think.  I will cook food, a bit.  I did make a bowl of popcorn.  Plenty of butter.  I simply can't, really, taste food.  I haven't been able to for a bit.  I try to eat anyway.  I'm not sure what the deal is.  No major issue, I have had this happen before.  Not hungry, so it's not too much of an issue.  I guess I really didn't need the gum to begin fasting again.  Still, it might help when I hit a snag.  I have enough for a small gum stand and a larger event.  I may make a few burgers in a bit...  Without bread I'll just add some ranch dressing, maybe melt cheese on top as it finishes.

Yeah.  Another shower.  Perhaps some work if I can get to it.  And an attempt to push through the day.  It's not dark today.  I don't need the curtains open to sense it.  I can even enjoy it, as sensitive as I am, in what you might consider blackout conditions.  Yeah... I'm... that sort.  Oh, sometimes I am better, and enjoy going out.  And a woman might create inducements... one way or the other.  Love em', hate em', or a bit of both... but they sure get their men to... become more active.  *grins*

Later.

Life?

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I felt as if something improved.  Health returned.  For a moment, just a sensation, will it lead to anything more?  I don't know.  On top of that, I dreamed of cleaning my closet, moving to the spare bedroom for a bit, and finishing off my main bedroom on out from the closet.  Time will tell.

I have been a bit frozen lately.  Night and day have been confused.  Often having several sleep and wake cycles each day, and before that some time back, more like having a day last two actual days, if sleep was more normal.  Just the season.  I haven't been keeping up on food or medicine well.  Even so, I may begin carvedilol this week... if I can find it, then load it into the dispenser.

I have a powerful itch to begin cleaning.  We'll see.  Later.

Black Friday?

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Most of my life I have ignored the big sale days.  I always suspected that, for all the rush, mostly what was offered was merchandise... I wouldn't want if they gave it to me.  Last year I did a minor search of what was offered, I think the year before too.  I didn't write about it.  I wasn't sure if the failure was mine or if it was correct.  As the third year rolls around, and I suppose some skill improvement has occurred, I'll give it one more shot.  So far, what I am seeing, is the clearance of merchandise that isn't selling anymore.  Dated, shown to be defective or ineffective, or just out of style.  Even the things that are put on really cheap, limited number sales, have seemed to be low end, really out of date things... like big screen televisions of a brand I wouldn't buy.  If I wouldn't buy it at ~$400, why would I buy it at ~$99?  Not good enough doesn't become better when it is offered for less.  And, most such can't be returned.  You won't even have that as a minor backup.

Clearance of items which won't sell any other way.  That is what most of these sales bring to mind.  Cheap stuff made even cheaper.  As I said, it just doesn't work for me.  Now... if there is a minor niche to fill, or a rather specific item you had already been seeking, that comes up?  Sure.  I just haven't seen a thing I would buy, so far.  I'll look, again, this year.  Urhm, no... I won't do the store thing.  That is insanity.  And for lesser deals even then, from what ads have shown.

If someone can advise me about what I might be doing wrong, I'll listen.  I won't even argue back.  I'll give it a go.  Just... trying to find a way to save some money.  But on things I really would like to buy.  *shrug*  Later.

Troubles with fasting.

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While I was chewing way too much gum, I have reviewed things.  While I didn't need it to fast as I had been, it might be useful at this point.  Part of the problem with fasting, currently, is not being on a good regular schedule.  I AM, probably, fasting... but in an uncontrolled manner.  Fasting and feasting, more than running a program.  So I have ordered enough gum for a good long period.  The hope is, though, that between using the calendar to know when and what I have eaten, plus the gum for control when I could otherwise slip, and going mostly back to plain tea, I might be able to get it all going again.

Beside feasting and fasting without a good handle on that, keeping up to cook isn't happening well either.  I'll keep at it.  At least I don't really need to go to the store for much, being primarily a meat eater.  Milk, eggs, that sort of thing.  Fruit once in a while, and now some vegetables.  But those are sides.  I can do without, for a long time, if needed.

Gabbing as usual.  It does seem that, at any time, I can quit the program.  I'm thinking on it.  Later.

Sleep is simply off.

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It looks like days and nights have halved.  About two per day.  Yeah.  Medicine and the season.  I can't quite get back onto medicine perfectly.  Too exhausted to focus and memory just doesn't survive the various seeming days and nights within each real day and night.  No worries, I don't feel horrible or anything.

Food... I just can't seem to eat much of it.  When I can bother to remember I am hungry.  Food just doesn't get digested anyway.  I've been munching on almonds, as they are easy and I can eat a small enough dose that they don't clog up the gut.  Yogurt too.  Which tells me it isn't mental tiredness, but my body simply not able to function.

I will keep thinking about what I wish to do.  Sometimes, if I see it and do it, work can draw me out of that dead zone.  Hmm... a bowl of yogurt, I think.  Later.