I finally caught a break and slept well and for long enough to feel rested. As well, the ability to act has been in evidence. Sadly, I have had little time to write. My computer is ill, so I needed to update this, switch that, remove that, and rearrange, restart, and hope. After 5 hours or a bit more... I have a tolerably less ill machine. hehe I love computers for the Internet , games, and math but I know that it is nearly impossible to keep up on even a single computer. Registry problems, lost links, unknown software, security difficulties, software updates, hardware upgrades, and then you have to learn a dozen programs well enough to have any worth from the thing, it's quite a lot. Isn't it difficult to realize what you are seeing and what I seem to be typing, well, it's all a mechanical (on several levels) and visual manipulation of electrons, created most likely by burning coal. So, it's coal? hehe No, but it sometimes seems like coal would be a better gift than a computer... you can burn it too.
I'm listening to Leonard Cohen. A blog associate brought up the name recently in one post or another. It took two or three days, perhaps, to trickle through my foggy mind and end up playing on my system. I cry the first time I hear it after a long break. I know, silly, but it just is. Though I have only known his music for four or five years, it feels like I should remember him from the 30's or 40's or something. The fact that I was not born at the time or that he was not singing at that time seems to have no bearing on emotional understandings.
After the tears comes a flood of memories and thoughts. An excitement, that coupled with my rested and functional condition, joins to make for a wonderful time. Even the frustrations of working with a recalcitrant computer seem to melt. The waits are not so insufferable and the successes are even more satisfying.
On another topic, I have received some feedback on some of my comments. Some people think I might be prejudiced, that I might be edging around bigotry. There is some wonder about my intentions and considerations, my sensibilities are certainly being questioned. I will say, what is being said is absolutely true. I must also add this, the target of my wonder and doubt is none other than the author. So, should you be so close as to feel threatened by my thoughts, perhaps you should be. If you need a pass in life, if you cannot be questioned or doubted, if when weighed you are found to be wanting, perhaps you should not come here. I do not say this because I could not like you but because you will only be hurt here. You are not yet ready to be here.
Ah, rest. I'd be thrilled if I could sleep more than 4 hours at home. In my rig, I can sleep for 7. That's not bad if you run long haul. I'm home almost every day. Sucks to be me sometimes. Often, I'll almost drop off. Then, my mind starts chewing on something and the chance for sleep evaporates.
ReplyDeleteIt seems idyllic, but when you don't have a choice and you want to get things done it's just no fun. Imagine if, while driving, your rig would only go so far and then completely stop. Some days it could do overtime, other days it wouldn't work at all. Now, add that you can't change vehicles, and it's down a lot more than it's working and you have no idea when it will or won't work. You can't make promises, you can't keep schedules, and you get bored waiting for the thing to work. Well, that's my body.
ReplyDeleteIt's pretty weird when I envy people who can and do get exhausted from work and activities.
I'm in the same boat with regards to marriage. I envy those who are, yet, through job choices, I remain alone. Of course, dealing with lonliness is easier than a body that doesn't do what the mind wishes.
ReplyDeleteWe both share that particular boat, and like you, I would rather be in the drink:) It's seems as if both of our situations make meeting good women difficult, though I suspect there are good women out there, more belief now than in the past. I have wondered what ever happened to match makers? Then again, women haven't been interested in marriage so much, and they were the matchmakers, so it figures.
ReplyDeleteI'll tell you what though, when I'm praying to God about a wife, I'll add that you would like to be blessed too. No promises, and I'm not holding my breath, just saying if it's His will and we let him know we are ready at this end... stranger things have happened.
Amen, and likewise. I try to avoid matchmaking by my friends. Every one was a disaster. Heck, I almost married one! Glad that didn't work out!
ReplyDeleteLove that Leonard Cohen, unique and haunting. Prince Charles said in an interview that L C was his favorite musician. Got that, even the anti-christ is moved by his music!
ReplyDeleteTake heart, forlorn men of Yaweh, He will bring the woman He has been preparing for you in His good time. He brought her to me at 26, my best friend just whirlwinded into an engagement with his new woman, and he's 30.
Look forward to the hindsight you'll have when you've been with her a few years or you've realized He has something more important for you than a family, I've been married 6 years now and I'm beginning to understand how perfect was his plan, if I had met her a day sooner than I did, I wouldn't have been at the right place in life to be able to be with her.
previous was me
ReplyDelete-Hazim
Hazim,
ReplyDeleteThank you, I accept your wisdom and will keep that hope in my pocket, sharing it at the right time with the right lady. I am very happy you found your place and the only true magic of love and family. I know what you mean about one day earlier. Until a few years ago, it would have been too early for me. Late bloomer and all.
Oh, you love the prince as well, I see. Ha, what a lark. I loved that bit. If you have heard any rumors of Lucifer's past, you may have heard that he would of course love music, having been the master of music, art, and beauty, among other things, in heaven. Why, his cousin Billy plays a mean sax, or so I hear.