I decided to check.

Since having my friend measure me for a wetsuit just before leaving on vacation, I decided to remeasure myself. I have lost 3 inches from my chest, 4-5 inches from my belly, and since I started working out itself, I have gained 2 ½ inches on my arms. Am I impressed? Not really, I am still a chunk. But it is in the right direction. Even if I have gained about 5-10 pounds. And, with Waterboy’s indication that the extra normal caloric burn added to my other calorie burning, I have nearly 21k calories a week to mess with, of which I am probably eating between 1/3 and 2/3 of those calories. It is very slow, but then I did not pack it on overnight either. Eventually the weight will come off?

Swimming went well today. The kickboard will really seriously help me start using my legs as my primary mover. Excellent, as using the legs will burn far more calories and they are the main concern with regards to swimming, for me at least. I noticed just from using the board off and on today that my kicks became far better! I would not have guessed that such an immediate effect would occur. I am still not counting laps. I am working at all times, however. I do take short breaks, but if I am too tired to do a push, I either walk in the water up to my neck depth and back or swim on my back a lap or two. I am trying to keep my idle time to a minimum and trying to put then keep a little more hustle into my work. Weight lifting will be later in the day. Depending on how classes are set up, I may end up reversing the swim and weight lifting times though that means switching where I swim, not a problem if time permits. I am really pushing so that by the time school gets here, I might be in better form to continue my workouts without hindering schoolwork.

Right now there is a lot of nothing going on. I know I have some appointments coming up, I need to find out about those. The car goes in at 13:00 for maintenance today, I need to find some information for an ongoing query between myself and another party, and that is about it until I receive a yes or a no regarding college, and then proceed from there with that. I missed a call from my mother, I am trying to get in touch with her and having no luck. I am trying to arrange and rearrange a few minor things, nothing too important. And I am trying to get my walks in. Oh, I did find my bible study guide, my physics books, my statics manual and notes, and my calculus review materials. Yeah, I am right on that. Cheiahhh Actually, I will be… soon. Just reading the first few chapters will help a good deal.

I am still afraid. I still live in fear, of life, of death, of pain, of things unknown. I still do not know, always or completely, why. There is a lot at stake in the next semester. There is much at stake in many facets of life. Though I am not still living in a 10’ by 10’ room, at times, I might as well be. I still go back “there” when all else fails, though less and less often is the need that pressing. And, as I said, even if I fail I now have another set of options that should keep me from ever going back to my hiding space. Of course, there is nothing I can do about being ugly. But I am good with that, mostly. *grins*

Well, mark one off. I tried and finally got through to my mother. If I miss a call, I always worry. Probably one of the neurotic tendencies from being raised by a single woman. Bah!