A few beers later, oddly.

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The meal and the beer was very good! I have not taken to writing odd and embarrassing things on other people’s blogs. No, my friends, I have been a good boy. Or, urhm, as far as anyone knows. *a belly laugh for me here* But I do remember something I had wanted to say, for the last few weeks.

I keep hearing, through song, common media, and personal discussions, how people want to see their Maker, when their time is done. They have questions as to why their lives have been so harsh. They want to ask about their wife, whether she was faithful, their parents and whether they were honest, and other such things. I have spoken of these things before. But, I wish to be more specific. I have been dreaming that this needs to be said and heard. The truth is, when you meet Christ, you will lose all of that. You will know YOU are the only one who matters. If your spouse cheats on you, it is best to forgive now and every time. If your parents lied to you, your boss cheated you, or your children hated you, let it go. The problem is not them, it is YOU. When you are before Him, the questions you have held in your heart will make you less before Him. Let them go now, for you will find no voice for them when you meet Him. Meet Him now, and let them go. Let that bitterness and hardening of your heart go now. For when you see Love, this impurity will only hurt you.

I think I have finally said what I have been called to say, as clearly as I may, and without any ambiguity. And yes, I have been internalizing this. When I see Jesus, I will simply do so with open arms to let him remake me. My only question will be, have I let go of enough? Show me what I must lose. I have tried to let go of hate, bigotry, unrighteous racism, and all such things. If the sty in my eye is a log, will You show me how to remove it? I merely wish to serve, make me as You would, so that it pleases you and makes me upright. Yes, that is the only answer and question I have. However, I am full of thanks, awe, and righteous fear. I am open to You and welcoming of You.

Yes, it is that simple. Imperfect I am, seeking perfection I am more so. Finally, I feel free of this call. I have done my simple task, finally, today. It was more important to me than all my other tasks. I just could not get it out rightly, until now. Now, I can sleep. One personal, and one holy task, completed. The latter the vastly more important. It is so odd to live in flesh though already beyond it. But, that is the way of those who pray to be holy. And, it is beautiful. As Christ’s murder was a vital sin, so too are our personal sins vital for us to learn what is less so that me might strive for and find what is greater and true. Thought I cry and find shame for my life, my sins, and the sins of the world, these things teach me so that I might be strong and worthy. If the time is tomorrow or beyond my life, in time, time itself will not be remembered as a phenomena. But what came of it, good or ill for any individual, will become potent beyond words.

Now I may rest. I will rest well this night, I think. Good night.