It went down from tough.

.
.
I took a nose dive this week. I think I still know where the tp is, and generally where my behind is, but getting the two together? Yes, it stinks. I think this is to be expected when I start the high blood pressure medicine. It often sneaks up on me though. I did not see that coming. It was not incremental and when it happened... it has taken several days just to realize I have out of commission for a while. Of course, I will pick up where, when, and how I am able.

As always, I am nervous about the new medicine. Even though it is what I want and is better than what I have, every time it is like getting up into a saddle on a horse, as if for the very first time. Or really, for the first time in a long time. It is exhilarating and daunting at the same time. The medicine really gives me more juice, something that has to be managed. I am so used to having just a fraction of it. I have some wonder if mentally I fear power and so underclock, or if that is done through a physical problem. Rather than an energy problem, as if I were an engine or electrical system, perhaps I have the energy but it is not being utilized or delivered correctly. Oh well, I will probably never know. But, with my worries about the medicine, I see into the notion that it might be a holding back, at least in part.

Nothing, needless to say, has gotten done that should have been done. No, wait, I did pay some of my bills. And, I will pay another today (which I had said I would pay a few days ago). *sigh* Lord knows I try to keep it on the tracks. I am not even sure how many days I have been down now, I simply... got lost. Maybe it will improve when the medicine arrives.

Oh, and never worry. Enjoy life, do what you can, and love somebody one way or another.