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A drive into town, a stop at Lowe's then a trip to the parking lot and back in, Wal-Mart, then home. On my first trip into Lowe's, I went to plumbing and bumbled my way to fittings. I used the coupling boards to find the sizes of fittings I would need, then went to work. I found, after a bit of looking, what I was seeking. However, I wanted to speak with a rep first, and make sure what I was getting was what I wanted. After searching a short bit, one did approach and I went through my spiel. No, he suggested, perhaps this... there are indeed two sizes of faucet flexible hosing. (I think my friend suggested that and maybe D.C.? But I did not have the ears to hear at the time, or it did not make sense, or it got lost in the tidal wash.) Fine, so, I grabbed two of those and headed for the door. But wait, I wanted to get wrenches. Fearing the cost, I approached and, low and behold, they were not as expensive as I had worried. I picked up a 10 set each of SAE and metric, plus at that cost bought a 7 pudge SAE set to boot. I bought those and headed to the vehicle. After unlocking and putting the packages in the vehicle, I remembered a shower head. So, in I go. I could not find a shower head at Lowe's with the bend, flex, etc. After speaking with a rep, he suggested that trying to rig something up would not be the best idea, easy, nor necessarily attractive. So, a simple shower head was purchased.
I then thought about simply going home. I had the things I wanted to return to Wal-Mart though, and am never sure when the next time I will have everything together, remember what I need to do, and have the time to return them, so... In I go. A long line and a single worker, of course. Surprisingly though she was a rather efficient worker, despite older age and possibly not being in the greatest of health. Of course, I could only return the shower head there, the watch had to be returned to jewelry. There was a line of one there, which was actually good. Otherwise, in the later afternoons and night, one has to go looking for someone to call someone and then wait until someone gets off a pot somewhere to go to jewelry.
So, five things have been checked off my list, two more might be, and it cost less than I thought the wrenches themselves would cost. Okay, I can do that. I am almost afraid to try the shower head and flex hoses, but I will probably do that yet tonight when I work my nerve up a hair. Shower head first, as I deem that more likely to succeed and success breeds success, or something like that.
But you know, I have finally figured out why middle aged men, who have been married 20 to 40 years, have children, and owned their own house for that long, always seem half insane. Money seems almost an enemy and something to cherish at the same time, something I thought (before) was a simple problem (like a leaking faucet or a squeaky hinge) cause them to shrink back into infant fetal positions almost literally, and why at times they can become gibberish and speak to themselves. Ah, I think I am getting it, finally. Or, some small portion of it. Women, for the most part, have NO CLUE! They just get someone to do it or expect the husband to "have it done by...". They cannot do much of it. It is not just the way their minds work, 90% of which is not mechanically minded, but also the physical strength involved. Another part, for many so do not give me examples of different, is an emotional reaction that makes the thing too difficult for many of them. Most women who have had me do mechanical, electrical, or other work like this, I have learned to do the work in their absence. They only hinder, question, and nag, none of which helps a bit.
I have heard that married men live longer than single men. But I have heard from married men that even if it were not true, regardless of the facts, it would definitely feel like longer. Ha! Seriously though, now that I have a house for a ball and chain, I might as well add the rest of the weight. There is nothing like a chip on the shoulder except being perfectly balanced with a chip on each. Ha!
"Seriously though, now that I have a house for a ball and chain, I might as well add the rest of the weight. There is nothing like a chip on the shoulder except being perfectly balanced with a chip on each."
ReplyDeleteYes, Doom *wants* to become a muttering, half-crazed middle aged man...
"But I have heard from married men that even if it were not true, regardless of the facts, it would definitely feel like longer."
This is doubtless true.
Well, you are half correct in your first comment. I already AM a muttering, half-crazed, middle-aged man, I just don't have enough to keep that going as well as the rest of you. hahaha (what did he say? I don't know, and shut up, I'll deal with you later) *half-toothless loony smiles*
ReplyDeleteYeah, that part, 'until death do we part' sure makes death more bearable... It's good to go first, and sometimes sword diving "to save the women and children" ain't all that. Ha! (the nagging, the incessant, never ending, high pitched nagging... I can even hear it when she is gone, doc... "What did you just tell him! I swear, you hate me, you never loved me, it's your fault, when do we get that new dryer you promised? Dishwasher? Did you fix the faucet, put in those bulbs, mow the... You want WHAT?" Ugh...
Oh, right, this is when Zen comes in handy.
ReplyDeleteAh fixing up stuff around the house, yeah it's something best left for us men, we like that sort of thing, so just let us get on with it. When we stuff it up we will eventually call a professional and learn from it.
ReplyDeleteHope you have been well.
Yep. Now, don't get me wrong. Women can do things we either can't do (sort of), won't do, or wouldn't think to do. And, yes, they can certainly add flavor, function, and stuff to a home. Much of what we would not miss if we had not seen what a woman can do though. We are sort of dense that way, in their opinion. On the homefront, women can suffer through a crying child much better than we, and are sometimes much more drawn to it and to tending it, then we are. And women can play our conscience at times, and elicit our better natures, to a degree, both through words and their tenderness and care should they wish to exhibit that.
ReplyDeleteBut women are not, for the most part, functional this way. I see where mechanic shops have put in women. These women usually go from mechanic to admin (front desk) almost immediately. It has to do with getting along, going along, fitting in, and not being able to do at least the most demanding of the physical tasks. They are promoted above their incompetence asap. Which is not fair to the guys who have busted their nads for 20 years only to have to keep doing it because the company forced a woman into a job she can't do so she has to be promoted above those who very much more dearly deserve it just so the stinking jobs can actually get done without 4 guys being cut from what they are doing to do what she can't do through out all "her" jobs. I guess I am grumbling. Especially when I hear a woman say, "We can too do that!". No, you can't. Bah!
Don't ask me to design a kitchen with purty flower curtains, matching everything (or properly eclectic all), and keep it clean. I can't and won't and will not say I can (if too I don't really want that). But don't compete with me in my areas, weak as I am in them, I am far better than most women and can become hugely more successful, very quickly, then the best women out there. The next time the Mrs. of the Mr. I stayed with suggests she is every bit as equal, I will ask her when was the last time she designed, set up, then installed any even minor system in any of the houses her and the Mr. worked on (ostensibly together). Heck, when was the last time she worked on a non-straightforward project, like a complicated plumbing issue, and finished it start to stop. My guess, never. Yet she will take equal credit for all the work because she painted! Bah!
I think she is what has been on my mind, with her silly notions of what work is and about her belief that she is in any way equal.
We are not equal but also not polar opposites in all things. And, I've known plenty of men who are incompetent in "male" tasks.
ReplyDeleteMy husband always wanted me by his side for every project...car, houes, whatever. I learned a fair amount. Even though his wanting me as his assistant was a part of his insecurity issues. He felt that if I wasn't right there with him at all times that I was ignoring him.
Crikey.
So, I am knowledgeable enough to do some things on my own. But, SOMETIMES it is simply easier, cheaper, less time consuming to have someone else do some projects. And I know enough about some things to know if I am being B.S.'d and can put a stop to that.
"Yet she will take equal credit for all the work because she painted!" **Larff!**
ReplyDeleteIs why I tend to give Daisycat painting tasks. Uncomplicated. Requires minimal supervision. Difficult to screw up in any way that can't be corrected.
"I *hate* painting!" she says.
"Yeh? How about we switch and you crawl under the house and solvent-weld that run of new PVC to the faucet then? Or maybe you can run the new electric to those outlets, wire up the switches to the fixtures and land the runs correctly in the circuit breaker? No? Awright then, you cut and fit the last cross-braces for the solar tower, drill and bolt them in place, then get started on fabricating the hot water heating panels, while *I* do this yucky painting?"
Yes Jean, she always wants to hire someone to do the work. I ask her "with what money?" The difference is a $500 contractor job would cost me maybe $50 to $150 in materials plus my time and effort. She doesn't seem receptive to the idea of selling her services on the streetcorner and using the proceeds to pay the difference...
Jean,
ReplyDeleteI am glad you spoke up though. SOME past female readers just took offense, lifted their noses, and off they went. Not to be too harsh, but for them I say good riddance. I'm glad you didn't just snuffle and hike:) And, I bet you can do some things, lots of things, that most women and men can't (or just as often won't) do. Actually, you probably know how to do more than I do, at this point almost for sure.
For even mildly complex or medium jobs, sometimes having the strength to do one thing in a tight area makes the job doable, or not. This is where I question most women and even some men. For me, it is purely a lack of knowledge and experience. I actually have just a bit too much strength and have to turn it down a bit or use it carefully (strength, not stamina mind you).
However, what I am trying to say isn't really about some special women not being polar opposites (as I think most are), or about strength or knowledge, it is a general pronouncement of anger at a specific women who (I think) could no more change a fuse then restart an engine, wire a circuit, or do more than paint (while claiming equality with her husband and superiority over me) calling into question what I have done and whether that could be called work. I simply hate lame heckling.
D.C.,
Yep, I can see that. It is quite frustrating too. My mother had a similar but different approach in a related area. She would send my brother or myself to do heavy manual labor to help someone else and take credit for helping. As an adult, I put my foot down. A few embarrassing episodes of her having to call back and say I would not be there and she quit that. (I suggested the people who needed "help" (often just work they didn't want to do), if they knew me well enough and wanted help, could talk to me personally.)
And Jean, you, and I all know, I think, that equality is not what is wanted in a mate, beside all that. This is more about claims of equality when it doesn't exist, snide remarks (from some undeserving claimant), and a little bit of anger about it all.
As for a mate, I do not need or want anything in particular. I don't want a woman who is too mannish or too feminine, but if the woman was right, I would probably find a way to deal with it. One thing I will not tolerate is a woman saying she is my equal. I am not even sure in God's eyes that could be absolutely true, as both heaven and hell have levels. And certainly not in the eyes of the law, as there are so very many setasides and differences in how women are treated, both as criminals, victims, and even civil court participants, that the notion is a huge gas.
Can women make a man's life better, and vice versa? I sure hope so. I bank much of my philosophy on that. I believe in it. But I don't think it is possible when one is so worried about being equal that they simply can't or won't do their part. Or worse, become a drag on the coupling. I don't care HOW good it makes them feel. Ugh.
MathewK,
ReplyDeleteWell, that is the plan. I'm still a noob in the tinkering arena, but I think I will get there. I must admit, at least while I learn, if I had a woman like Jean around, who knows and could be patient while teaching, that would not be all bad. No giggling though! :p
I've been busy. I am not sure if well, but I must be well enough to be busy. Ha!
"She would send my brother or myself to do heavy manual labor to help someone else and take credit for helping."
ReplyDeleteOrdering the menfolk around to help is not the same as helping, yes. My aunt tried pulling a similar stunt on my dad and uncle once. She told each of them that the other was going to replace the engine in her car and needed his help doing it. So the day came and they each looked at the other like "so are you going to get started yet?" They quickly figured out her scheme. IIRC they flat out refused to do it for her.
D.C. I'm afraid if I tried to 'sell my services' to contribute toward the project expenses, it would result in not many projects getting done ;-)
ReplyDeleteI think we should help whenever possible unless we are a hindrance. Some women pretend to be a hindrance to get out of doing some work.
I don't have much patience for whiners, blamers, etc. Doom. I cannot recall you ever saying anything here that struck me as offensive. Those who left? phhhhhttt on them.
D.C.,
ReplyDeleteYack! When I was a kid I had little choice. As an adult though, that was that. I don't even mind helping, almost anyone, in a reasonable fashion if I have the time. But I don't like tricks, doing someone else's stupid job (not needed), or such. Trickery, I think to (was going to say men, but I think it is better as follows) some subsection of the population is absolutely intolerable. I guess that is why some vote conservative (not necessarily Republican, maybe not that at all anymore) and some vote Democrat (and I mean precisely Democrat). Bah!
Anyway, I love hearing stories with happy endings. Burn the witch, burn the witch! I am guessing she stopped trying to beguile? Or, uhrm, is/was she one of those never-learn type?
Jean,
Some women are exceptional though. I honestly do not care if a woman wants to help or not, except maybe if I really need a few tools handed down, over, under, or through or something. And, honestly, if a woman was interested or even knowledgeable, she would be more than welcome at her leisure. Further, if she could and would do some minor stuff, all cool. But if she doesn't like that work, that is fine as well. Though, sometimes, if she wants to be around me, she will have to be with me there (though making lemonade, dinner, or something would work very well, ha). I guess though, if she handed tools down and took half the credit, I would give her a giant sized cold shoulder for a good long time. Conversely, if she did a big job, she would get royal treatment and public praise.
Really? I haven't offended you even a whiff of offense? Too cool. It isn't that I even try to offend, but some people... or as they say, some people's kids. Maybe some people are born to be offended? I was born half angry, the spanking did the rest. If, generally, angry in a more subdued manner. Darn it!
I think we should help whenever possible unless we are a hindrance. Some women pretend to be a hindrance to get out of doing some work.
ReplyDeleteI have figured out (and why it should take 23 years to figure this out, I don't know) that if I am doing the same thing that I have Daisycat doing, then she can usually be encouraged to keep doing it. If I am doing something else, even if it is right nearby, it is only a matter of time before I begin to hear the loud whinings, and see the endless breaks punctuated by five minutes of actual work.
I haven't quite figured out what to do with her when what I am doing is something she has no skills to contribute to. Because if she is not actually doing anything but standing by for assistance, she quickly gets bored and finds a reason to be elsewhere.
Frankly I find women who know their way around a toolbelt to be a turn-on. If she can sweat a solder joint, wire up a fixture, raise a 2x4 wall, a garden, and a flock of chickens, and still be feminine and pretty--gawhd! I'd be at her heels like a hounddog!
"I am guessing she stopped trying to beguile? Or, uhrm, is/was she one of those never-learn type?"
ReplyDeletePardon my french, but she was a scheming little shit their whole life. It wasn't the last attempt. Just the last that I know my Dad (almost) fell for.
Hmm, I can see your point about your dream woman, though I am not so sure I absolutely share it. However, I would at the very least like a woman who could be nearby with tools, parts, a little help, etc, at least when I sort of need it. But God giveth and God taketh away and He don't always giveth what we want, oddly! Well, as you well know!
ReplyDeleteAh, one of those. I have an aunt and uncle who cannot tell the truth to save their souls. Sounds damning, might well be too. She was always on that road, I think he went down it to try and cover her and then his own butt and got lost. Then again, I sort of have some suspicion he was no stranger to that road, if he had not set up permanent residence far down that lane (due to public and private pressures) until her.
Do you suppose that is an illness, I mean really? Is it some kind of insecurity that demands outrageous tending and forgiveness by others in order to satisfy some self-hate, or self-disbelief. Or is it simply a personality flaw that they have embarked upon as some odd tricky means to some awful end (never give those people power! Everyone like that I have ever known, by the way, voted Democrat, too.)
I have always wondered about that. I honestly think if it is a mild form of insanity, it is probably not a sin. But if it is a literal choice... At the point I have met such people, quite often very judgmental people oddly, I could not tell if it was madness or choice.
I worry about my own sloth in much the same way. Is it mental illness or choice. I know it is some of both, and the trap of idleness from illness makes it easier to just sit. Part of the reason I am where I am with a house on my back, sort of looking for a wife. Nothing like a headlong plunge into the ocean to wake one up and force one to be slightly more active, nyet? But damn the water is cold. I think I am getting concrete nipples and my manhood is not going to impress a woman right now! Ha! She had best be good enough looking and... something, or it taint going to happen.
I didn't just say that.