Up early.

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The alarm went off at 9:00 this morning. I set it a little later in order to give myself a little better chance at waking. About the time it went off, Sam came in and demanded attention. Well, okay, I guess, whatever. So, she got scratchies, pets, and such. I think she really wanted to go out but was taking whatever she could get. At 9:12 I decided to put Sam out and turned off the alarm. And, I got up. It is tough, I feel like I've been run over, even now 2 hours later. This is the first time, in a long time, I have been able to do this for myself (getting up earlier than the trend). I can do it for appointments, sometimes, but that is really rough and temporary too. I am going to try and keep this going.

Today I hope to make it to confession and then Church. I would like to go on Sunday, but with this much trouble rising at 9:00, there is no way I could make it to Church at 10:00. To be honest, it is going to be tough to make it to confession and Church in the shape I am in. No, coffee and soda do not help, not a bit. Eating makes a nap required. Something just is not right with my body. Hmm, I could polish my shoes, work on the sink, mess with a game or two though. Those things will not help either, and I am not very clear headed so mistakes are more likely, but they would pass some time.

This feels like waking up at midnight after going to bed at 21:00 after a long day. Or, perhaps, like a hangover to those who have those. Oddly, my hangovers (or what passed for them when I used to drink more heavily) were pleasant affairs, often seeing me up early (earlier than usual), rested, and comfortable other than maybe a slight easily cured headache if I smoked along with the drink. Oh well. Drinking is out though. It is not a horrid thing, and I still have a few beers occasionally, and I never quite became an alcoholic (proper... improper?), but I did see the crest of the alcohol hill I was climbing and knew that once I reached it, it would be a harsh (mostly) one way slide down the backside of it. And that would be far worse than were I am as is. As I have told doctors I told my own self medicating side, "NO THANK YOU!".

I hope Sam is fixed. I heard cat bawling earlier and am pretty sure what that was all about. I have not been a cat owner and lived around cats otherwise for so long as to not know what that was all about. I did rush out, as soon as I heard it, to make sure it was not a regular fight. No Sam, and it had been close. I checked a bit later and she appeared (though did not want to come into the house), but bore a daughter's first beau kiss look as the daughter looks at the father coming home from a date. Yeah, I know. Ugh. Maybe she will not be lifting her tail at me so much though, for a while. Double ugh.

This finger is starting to be a real pain. It is healing, I guess. But the rate of heal is extremely slow. I still cannot fully use it. I would say it is not even fully healed at the skin level. I must baby it or it will split still. Even where the stitches tore is still visible like bloody eyelashes to either side of the the cut. And bruising, limitation in motion, and other such come and go. Oddly, just like when I fell in the river two years ago, I actually feel guilty for this cut. For many and no reasons, sort of.

Hmm, time to try and figure a way to wake up or even decide if a nap would be the only option. Nah, a nap would only make things worse. So tired, so sore, but at least it is a weekend and I can take some time taking time.

Later.