An interesting notion.

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Having lived next door to a small but growing family in Iowa, I was allowed a little insight into children, their roles in the family, and some solid adult participation. With parents who do their best, and want the best, for their children, as really good role models. I am sure it was not perfect. I saw the parents weary, become flustered, and I saw them get through it. I watched the children go through everything from supplication to rebellion, and find their place in the end. And all things happening at the various levels of the participants, in cycles, as each grew. And, yes, it strengthened my notion about having a family.

Here, now, I live with a couple. They are quite attached to each other. They too have their highs and lows, good and bad, if these are more muted they certainly exist. They have come to compliment each other as if there was no other way they even know how to exist. Of course, sometimes they do their own things. But, and to my great surprise, these times are small and mostly merely by exterior need or happenstance and not by choice or the 'need' for space. It is a wonderful thing to observe. And, I do try to neither merely "observe" (or spy) nor intrude. Though sometimes I have questions, asked as tastefully as I may.

It seems as if God keeps showing me what possibilities there are, and how good and bad they can be. And yes, I can see around corners (through steel, concrete, wood, cloth, sinew, bone, and right to a soul, at times). I see the losses, I see the difficulties, I do not miss much. I do think the cost is well worth the gain. I do not want my friend's family or the Mr.'s Mrs. Not that they are bad, only that they could never be mine. But I think I would like to follow in their footsteps. I think they are all miles ahead. And I would like to think that I might be able to create my own little world with a wife, and then with children.

Yes, I think so. I do not know how to cross those rivers, climb those mountains, or get over into those paths. And I really do not think there is any one way. I think I simply have to head in that direction, work and maybe push myself and situations a bit, and between will and fate, I will find myself on the other bank of this river of life, not quite sure how I got there. It is as magical and yet as mundane as all that. God's will? Who can know. For me specifically? He knows, I do not. But, I think so, I do.

This came to me and I wanted to put it out or I would be mulling it ALL NIGHT!

Good night.