You may have noted, I could be spooky.

. . No, really. Some of you understand that what I write might indicate I have a negative capacity for anything. And, there is that. Asking for trust is not something I would say or recommend as a general rule. First, the people who say that upon being questioned are people you should absolutely avoid. But more, I do not think trust is quite what it seems. I might trust Joe for this and Carol for that, but neither on all things, or even most things, or even all that far in any direction. That is not cynicism, just an understanding of the fact we are a fallen people. Only God can be trusted, and that assuming there is life after death. Some trust death and taxes and yet, I do not pay taxes and death has failed me... quite often.

No, do not trust me. I will say in my defense that I am not a sociopath, a psychopath, or even all that dangerous without cause and perhaps even with cause. Perhaps I am and am simply unaware of the danger. I know I have potential to be extremely dangerous but I do not know how weakened that potential is at this point, at this age, in this health. I suspect a threat could and would be treated reasonably with whatever force might be required, to horrendous ends if absolutely pushed, but I realize I might not even see it coming and actually might prefer not to see it. This last is where I do not completely trust what I am saying. If I am conscious, there is a good chance I would see it and react with skills and talents beyond what most even understand exist. Being out of shape might be my one problem, but having been elevated to the level of a controlled psychosis, a trained and honed will which goes beyond what would kill many all by itself, I am not even sure of that. The thing is, it is controlled. I would not simply snap and go over the edge. As half wolf half dog breeds err on the side of the wild, I err on the side of the domestic... right down to blind need and even within absolute rage due to mechanical pain, from what I have seen.

However, having become what I am, I see in some the opposite and other flavors of chaos. There are many people who live a functional seemingly kindly life who would kill, cause social harm, do unethical amoral and immoral things either on some cue from some source antithetical to goodness or who are simply and truly feral. I see these people, I see into their souls, I know they are dead and have no chance of resurrection in this or the next life, at least not a resurrection into true life. There have been many movies which have depicted these types, though more in a fantasy way. Some that come to mind quickly include vampire and werewolf type movies, The Body Snatchers (several versions), the television series "V", and many others.

The difference between real life and movies and shows is that there are no aliens, or radioactive, chemical, or viral explanations. People choose to be evil and then give themselves over to that. If someone tells you that there is no good and no evil, they are lying. Further, they have chosen evil. There is no use discussing anything with these people, unless like me you like tinkering with their logic in such a way as to let them know you know precisely what they are. When they realize you have been in their shoes and have found a way out, they will hate you. They will hate you right down to wanting you dead. These, folks, are the people you had best treat like venomous vipers.

What frightens me is, today, there are huge numbers of these people. Some of them go to churches. Some of them act as ministers. They run academia, from K through Grad. They are in power in nearly every nation of the world, to various degrees. I must admit, however, these people have often risen to power throughout the history of the world. The problem with the past, and possibly the present, is they are a vast minority, split into factions, or both. As such, at least historically and usually, they have not been able to complete their quests. As I see it, though they have won in areas and for times, they have usually been stopped either totally or at their (or some) borders, often by good sometimes by other evils. Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot, Hitler, the names of their leaders are infamous, though these are only the recent ones. Those who support these people or their aims are among the walking dead, if there are others of differing forms. Chaos, evil, death, whatever you want to call it, uses many tools and many styles in order to perpetuate itself and destruction.

What does stand against these things? Family, actually, is one of the most powerful antidotes. Not dad, mom, and 2 1/2 children, but families of several to many children. Religion, true religion, does as well. Any religion that does not support the family in absolutes should be avoided. It is a false religion in the way that by their seed you will know them is true. Education, does as well if it is unadulterated. If education were limited to simple functional reading, math, and real science, that would be enough if family and religion were strongly encouraged. Reading is the strongest skill to pass to children, all else will flow from a good understanding of that, just as math is more vital than science in that with math all science may be known. There are real antidotes to evil. It is easily noticed what is being harassed in America, and the rest of the world, and which way who wants what to go forward, mostly. I must admit, I thought Americans had given or lost in that last election cycle. Or perhaps I thought the thing was no longer available for choice. It may be too late but it looks like Americans are not completely giving out. Still, I have been whipping this nightmare for decades. To see others just now waking up is... frustrating. Well, at least I see some hope, real hope. Though that may end up simply being people living ghosts of the life they once lead, but humbly and with real satisfactions. Time will tell.

The next time you speak with a professor, an atheist, a Democrat, a serial killer, a pedophile, a teacher, a union member, have a small list of questions. Is evil real? Are some things unquestionably wrong? Is there hope for the world? Can you do anything to correct anything? Are you responsible, personally, for what you do? Look into their eyes, listen to the tone of their voice, listen to how they say what they say. Not all are lost, but the ones who are are notable in their emptiness. Understand that nothing is empty. If there seems to be nothing inside, understand that something is being hidden. Possibly hidden even from the consciousness of the face which seems to be the person you are speaking with. Wow and are they brazen when they go to work doing whatever for reasons they may not even know. Hiding ballots, allowing criminal behavior, being lewd, on to murder and suicide. Some truly do not know what they do. The ones who do are much more dangerous, in that they pull others into darkness knowingly and with purposes other than mere gratifications. Look around, the face of evil is all around you.

Just because I know evil, what it thinks, how it reacts, and perhaps even why sometimes does not mean I accept or kneel to it. Not that one can only know himself by knowing his enemy, but whichever way it starts out, knowing one's self will surely allow one to know one's enemy, and vise-versa. I cannot say for sure I started out evil, I only know I was headed that way. I was deep in the enemy camp before I fully realized I was going to die forever if I stayed there. I saw their plans, they are rather simple. The madness one contends with in fighting them and those plans is merely illusion. They bring, create, craft, and get stuck in that madness, but it is a fiction. They are self-destructive. They know mostly hate, using sex or camaraderie or other facsimiles of goodness to draw people in. No, I am not among them. Actually, I am psychically allergic to them. I can sense them, smell them on some level. That is my story and I am sticking to it.