Up before the alarm.

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So many people around me live in false worlds. They are professionals, so one would think they should know better. The medical community is full of people who refuse to look at the truth of their political yearnings, for example. Actually, I suspect if they were otherwise disposed, politically, they would not be allowed through medical school without being burned by the system so as to scar them into a very harsh cynicism (which I have also seen, it seems either a burned out husk of a once conservative or a psychotic Peter Pan fantasy liberal is sitting in front of me in exam rooms). It does not stop with them. Have a "mature" discussion with a teacher, or even a blue collar worker who also happens to be in a union. Even if he does not like the union, he fears it and protects it in some odd way (just in case someone hears that he does not like it?). Where does this end? I cannot say, but it is every where.

I sometimes feel like I am speaking to a world of junkies. Afraid their dealer will hear if they diss their dealer, they all skirt the issues or even praise the dealer, the drug, or the effects. Watch the news. Listen in many churches. Talk to the elderly. At least the young are merely ignorant. It is everywhere. What makes me dangerous is not that I have firearms or that I can use them, it is that I am not vested in the system and may speak the truth. Of course, it is this which makes me insane... to the world. My problem, I have never been different, even when functional. Then again, I think that is what was going to "take me places" too. I seriously was being considered for college and OTS. I just figured out why, actually, I think. The young, and I was, do not consider these things.

I have to hope that enough people in leadership roles got there because they were independent and strongly so, and not because they were boot licking populists or yes men. Crown Princes? Well, when they have severed their ties to the kingship through selfish fetishes of a political or sinful nature, I suppose all they have left is bitter populism as a hope for thwarting the surety of their historic failure? Politicians who know they are neither correct nor gaining popularity will seek destructive means of obtaining more power and enacting their warped will. Movie stars, singers, and such... I would guess drugs and some false populism. All they see are camera flashes, and the camera men sometimes. Their world is as media whores and they tow the line, or simply do not see anything beyond that. But typical people? Is it truly submitting to their fears? Is it lying to escape their truth? I do not know. I know it is all Hell bound. God has grace, but...

It is not that God cannot love, it is that we cannot love, holding on to whatever sin we use as a filler. If we hold our sins, even when shown the difference, being in God's presence would destroy us as we are inextricably intertwined with sin and God's mere presence destroys sin, thus us. We choose, like an addict choosing to not be a part of a healthy family, to be alone with our addiction. God does not cast us out, He saves us from ultimate destruction. Why so many choose to be alone with their sin... This, this is what baffles. And insane political beliefs, trust in genocidal policy, agreeing with what one knows to be a lie, these are all choosing death over life and then trying to use logic to bolster the choice. Logic has failed at the start, there is no way it can then go on to succeed to prove what it has already shown is false, so madness is the only thing that shines through for those with eyes to see.

I am not sure what was running in the back of my mind, but this post is the result. I still feel like I psychologically stepped in a pile of something distasteful. Hopefully spitting it out by writing down the conclusions will make the day a bit smoother. Good day.