I do keep trying.

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After a several hour long search to find where the serial number and model number might be located on my washing machine, I walked in to take a look. The good and the bad news. The bad news? Where these numbers were supposed to be there were no numbers. The good news, printed on a metalic looking card, on the side of the base of the machine, both numbers were listed. Further, they were easy to read. Fine. So, back to the internet to see if a repair manual, parts manual, or even user manual could be found. Most of the forums dealing with repair that I have found had only questions, no solutions, so I excluded that type of material from my searching. No manuals were to be found. Actually, I cannot find the machine listed anywhere by either model or serial number. Why does it have to be so difficult?

I am sure, with tinkering and brute strength, I could open up just about anything man has ever made. Getting it back together is another thing. Not destroying pieces or even the main of the device to be disassembled is also another thing. Walking softly is fine advice, but with the price of parts and machines these days, carrying a big stick is only good if you use it judiciously or have the money to support your violence. Since my last post, I have been looking online a good half of that time. Getting bored or frustrated, I would tinker or read blogs or view the "news".

Why is it so difficult today? I suppose, in part, it is because they come out with a new model, or three, every six months. These models do not improve on the last, but they are different. Why, through over the dozens of brands which make appliances for the American electrical grid, there is a need for hundreds of models a year, I cannot say. In a time when both Democrats and Republicans are saying we have to conserve, while both demand we spend while conserving, and thus creating mountains of junk, offering nothing to repair the old, I have to wonder what is really happening. Either they know something we do not and are working toward it, they have no idea what they are doing and are merely pushing buying to create debt which makes everything look good until it burns, or no one anywhere has any clue and are just doing something to make it look like they are not doing nothing... yes, I think that last makes sense and is a credible option. I think I used correct grammar too. As convoluted as what I say may seem, what they are doing is vastly superior... inferior... well... you know what I mean.

If I, with all the time I can muster, with at least half a brain and some reasonable sanity (if too lacking a means to physically be active) can not make heads or tails of the insanity of our public officials and private enterprise, my guess is that there probably is no sense to be made. I think some politicians try to do this or that, but starting to clean a square foot in the middle of a garbage heap is nigh on impossible, especially with more trash coming in by the ton daily. Everyone who has a plan has no clue or is merely trying to take the trash and use it to their advantage. There is no one who can clean up the mess. Perhaps that is merely the human condition and I am merely naive, or faithful.

I can see why many have lost their faith. Faith leads one to believe that there is better than this. There is a belief by those who still believe that, at some time, our flesh will be perfected. And through that perfection, when we once again inhabit a new earth, that the world too will be perfected. For those who can only see the filth, disease, addictions, war, and death, faith seems too cruel because it seems too late. No doubt this troubles me. I live here, unable to live and unable to die, talking to people who profess lies directly to millions of people. The worst of the liars are not the ones who are obvious. Democrats and "liberals" have been lying so long they almost, or mostly, or in an unholy way have faith in what they say. So-called conservatives are what Democrats used to be. They know they are lying, they just do not care. If it gets them through one more election, if it supports the people who supported them into office, if it shuts up the people even for a while, they do it. But they do it knowingly.

What a mess. And here, for all these years, I thought I was the problem or part of it. Though a sponge on society, a pariah through illness, I neither wanted this nor have I every simply given up to it, in spite of losing the battle. I will never be an engineer. I will never be self-sufficient. I cannot always make it to a doctor appointment to manage the illnesses that ravage my capacity. If the doctors seem no better than the politicians. Stuff with medicine, when that fails, find other medicine. If it seems to be helping, discontinue. If patient is still conservative and Christian, fight tooth and nail to paint as a lunatic and become passive aggressive toward. Rinse and repeat as necessary. Bah!

Well, I am going to try and make it into town. A quick shower, a check at some of the plumbing supply stores still open, some grocery shopping, and a meal somewhere good. Frustrations abound, life looks really grim, and the realization that politicians are all, now, essentially Democrats, doctors all might as well be Castro appointed, I am failing and America is falling. Ah well, do what you do with what you have and hope for a quick end but suspect a long hard bad one. Then get to what you can when you can.