You really aren't special?

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Yes and no.  You are special to those who love you.  Why?  Because... shut up.  You are special in what you do.  If you are really good at something, that makes you better than other people at what you do.  Some people absolutely amaze me.  A few people truly impress in a few areas of specialty.  Soft sciences merely get a chuckle, but a serious mathematician, solid engineers, materials property guys, programmers, and even top linguists whether they be true masters of many tongues or a top English writer grab my attention.  And I must be honest, women who run families and homes amaze me.  Some like athletes, but having been... well above average in some of that, and realizing to become more competitive would have required drugs, that is no longer... seen as all that worthy.  But too, no matter how good someone is, we are replaceable.  Not in the heart.  No one can replace a loved one.  But in the flesh.  There is nothing we do that someone else can't do, and possibly (probably) much better. 

No, here and most people I know?  It is known that there is no special status.  I would say most people I know well realize this.  Catholics, Mormons, and most other folk with whom there is some association generally tend toward the humble.  Oh, well, there are times.  And this ogre certainly has moments of pride.  But it is generally known that we fail the mark.  None of us, for example, can walk on water, move mountains, or go a day without sin.  And, for most, that honestly is the goal.  It is difficult to hold too much pride in such circumstances.  It would be no different than believing you are bulletproof on a battlefield.  Sometimes, to reach the objectives, you have to forget the bullets for a bit.  But if you don't have the notion of what bullets do, and their physical characteristics in mind, you will be lost.  So it is with sin, and life.

Many people do not know this.  Many believe that they simply deserve good things.  They don't seem to understand that nothing is free.  An easy B in a class hurts not only the one who undeservedly got the grade but the ones who should have gotten it alone.  It makes fools of us all.  A free lunch costs the time and effort to get it and uses time that might have been used for some other greater gain.  Nothing is free.  Nothing good is easy.  There literally is no free lunch.  Spend even your time eating with humility and prudence at hand, for once that time is gone it will never be yours again.

This guy has real talent.  One might even say he is special.

It is, in sum, not about you.  If something makes you exceptional, it is what you do... not you.  You can become exceptional, but you have to remain so or become a has-been.  And, even should you succeed, and ride that wave, again, it isn't about you.  Thank all of those people who taught you to get on the device you ride, who took the time to show you how to ride, and who continue to support your ride.

I hated myself for decades because I couldn't do.  I mean "do".  My mind, heart, and soul were in it, my body just couldn't.  I am almost to the point where, given what is now known about my health, I can at least... say that given the circumstances, just surviving was a minor miracle.  So anything I did over that was gravy.  And yet, to my mind, while... okay...  I still wonder if I couldn't do, and have done, better.  Surviving isn't enough, trying isn't enough.  While my circumstances might be special, even so in some really odd ways, it is not about me.  At all.  I am sorting that out even now, and probably will until I put the package in the proper hands for true judgment or find my way to success.

Oh, and my lifelong belief in Carpe Diem?  It remains, merely modified.  Seize (every) moment (day, event, etc.). While time literally slips through my clumsy gimped mental fingers like minnows, when I can, I grab the darting silver slivers of time, companionship, and success.  So rare the catch though.  God knows I do my best.

Good day.