Oh? Phone calls?

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Still in a haze.  Life just is not smoothing out.  The medicine is being taken like clockwork, for the most part.  I just can't seem to break some... wall, or get over some obstacle.  I'm frozen, physically.  Oh, little things happen, but for the most part I am blocked off.  My mind and body are not cooperating well.  At least I am not failing, as if life is on some sort of auto-pilot.  The food coming in helps a bunch, though too.  I have to admit I am a lucky man in many ways.

My friend called, twice in the last two days.  My phone was set to silent though and I just noticed it.  But it is, at 12:10 (pm), bedtime.  When I wake, if it isn't too late, I will call him and try to arrange something.  My mind just isn't working well enough to make plans as I get ready for sleep.  And it might take a few days to figure out how to further shift my sleep cycle in order to get out of my home and be to town at a reasonable hour for shooting, shopping, or whatever.  Gah but these times are trying.

Hmm, I need to wash clothes in order to get out too.  Yeah, slipping.  But living, and enjoying what of a life I have!  I am thankful, humble as my life is, to not be in constant pain, to be able to do a few things I enjoy, to have the companionship of my pets, to have a few friends here and there, and to have family who loves me even while not always liking me.  Life isn't bad, it is just that my "go, go, go" mentality doesn't fit the body I have.  I had hoped to be all used up, or at least still buff.  Instead I am more like a pet.  Well, some people love me anyway.  I'm not good for much, but that isn't always the point.  Some people's kids...  *grins*

How it was, regarding this illness, for quite some time?

[lyrics]

God showed me that when I tried to let myself go to the sea, I would only get wet.  :p  Yes, frustrating, all around.  And, no, I still have no power over events.  I do still have a choice though.  After realizing I still had a choice my true ways kicked back in.  Now?  Maybe I'm not what I once was.  Heck, maybe I never was even that.  No matter, I have what I have, I am what I am, and I do what I can.  Watch it, I am still a ninja (turtle).  To hell with dragon tears!

That choice is ours to make.  And I choose boots on, in life or on the way to death.  Hells yeah!  Heaven bound, but I still have life in me yet.

Have a good day, I'll "nap" for you if you like.  I love me some sleep!