Wow, yeah, sleep.

.
.
Okay.  Alright.  I get it.  I had been pouting about not swimming Friday.  It looked, to me, like I had just been lazy.  After spending Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and... is it Sunday already?  And Saturday too, sleeping in long shifts, waking for good solid but short hunks of time, and having no real energy to do anything else, I think it is fair to say that I did what I could this week.  It would actually be fair to say I pushed it to a serious cut-off and then some.  As I get stronger I become a much harsher judge of these things.  I'm not worried about that, though, really.  It means I won't be a lazy-bones and it doesn't seem as if I have enough spit to push myself to literal death.  I may fail to do what I hope or want to do.  But that won't be because of a lack of effort.  If anything I have to be a little careful with my exuberance.

My heart really does limit me.  The weather isn't helping.  And yet I am still getting to some good exercise.  Not three months ago I wasn't able to exercise at all, without a drug that should have been lethal.  Remember when a down time, even just a few years ago, would lead to months of downtime?  And I mean serious downtime, where I didn't have all but a few hours of weak consciousness?  Yeah, not bad.  It's just patience is not my forte, specifically when it concerns my efforts.  You really should have seen me in my prime.  What I find amazing is, when I was able to work hard, fast, and smart?  I didn't consider it... impressive.  I expected it from those around me and stuck with those who not only could, but did.  And they didn't impress me, that was expected.  Now, to get back to that.  In a way, I am getting there though.  I have noticed people watching me in the pool... in disbelief.  They know what I am, but not how I do what I do.  Now to fill my life with that, again.

Oh, that doesn't make me better.  It simply makes me fulfilled.  It isn't about you, them, me.  It's about doing what I can, should, was made to do.  That's all.  And, of course, the notion that I need to take wing soon.  I have to be away, this thing that is about to come is not my thing, or for me.  Not at the beginning, or in it's raw form.  Time... tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock...  Monday it is.