Yes, yes, medicine.

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I couldn't get that arranged after arriving home.  I was simply done.  I even called and canceled dinner.  It was nearly a 24 hour stint today, with travel, several destinations, and a bit of walking.  I  woke somewhere in the 22:00-23:00 range.  I know I looked at the clock, and it just looked back.  I saw the time and it went in the eyes and out the ears.  It was a long pull, so I wasn't expecting much tonight.

Medicine, however, was on my mind.  I tried to focus first thing, but that was a no go.  I walked into the kitchen to begin, and... ended up back in front of the computer.  I did shave something to drink though!  There is that.  Coffee.  Strong coffee.  I made more, I think.  I did some other stuff, but not medicine.  After an hour, and the girls begging to be fed, or something... the story is blurry... I set the alarm for several hours, to help me focus on figuring out medicines.  That alarm went off.  Probably was sounding the alarm for a while before I noticed.  Not ready, not yet, my mind seemed to plead.  Okay, says me to me, but I will set the alarm, and keep setting it, until 'we' are ready.  Another hour, the alarm sounded, and I meant to shut it off and reset it.  Which I did.  But on the way out of the kitchen it just happened.  I found myself sitting at the table, figuring out the pills.

No troubles.  It is easy.  I wanted to do it.  Hmm.  Never the worry.  I set everything up.  However, since carvedilol will probably be increased next Monday, I only set up enough of that for one week.  The rest is set up for two weeks.  I then took my first dose, again, again.  Gah!  Actually... I think the medicine has already done something, in the hours since ingesting.  I was running at pretty high speeds in there.  Just a bit of easing.  The horses from my horsepower engine don't seem to be running quite so hot.  This is a good thing.  I doubt if my bp is lower.  But the medicines have told it that a slowdown is coming, and things are gearing that way, if I had to guess.  My body probably simply recognizes this new condition at this point.

Yeah, crazy, in a way.  Why couldn't I do this all this last week?  I've set the alarm, before, with this in mind.  I've just been drifting, with neither drive, nor a course, nor an idea of even where I would go if I could.  Sure, I did knock out dishes.  Yeah, I have hit the kitchen.  But those were reactions to visual and... olfactory... stimulants.  While the cave still smells musty and a little... creepy... as probably most bachelor pads do, it has a much better overall appeal.  A woman would be less likely to simply flee in terror.  Hmm, I even hit the toilet with some cleaning, and the floor around it.  I wonder if a urinal, a standing man one, would help?  Gotta admit, men are pigs... in some ways.  *oink*  Good to be king, baby!  (Yes, that pic is an extreme exaggeration, so shut the hush up!)

I think I am a bit done in by the trip.  But I keep looking at the remainder of the kitchen.  I have dirtied some dishes and a pot since my last cleaning.  They have been soaked a time or two, so should be easy to clean.  Clearing the counter tops and kitchen table has been an ongoing project.  Then the floors will be dealt with.  Maybe not today.  But perhaps, or some of it.  I keep looking for windows, small doors, even niches, from which to gain purchase into the realm of flesh, and pull myself to it.  No, you don't understand.  Although, if you want a close proximity, and to something you may have experienced, perhaps... sleep paralysis...  You are fully awake but your body is not your own, not at your command.  The difference is, my body is functional, and does it's thing, but it isn't me commanding.  I can merely put in requests.

Later.