Santa might be on his way...

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But Jack Frost showed up with his war face on, stormed my personal h.q., among many other people's a.o., and kicked me right square in the teeth with a frostbitten boot.  Oh, no harm meant, no offense taken, for our parts.  That's how old friends keep each other awake and ready!   :)

To bed at midnight, up... well, I could have been up at 7:00.  I woke to the call to daily duty, did that, looked around and couldn't see anything, and just thought... if the sun doesn't have to be up, and won't grace me with a little wakey-wakey juice, I'm not pulling this shift!  Of course, I can do that, on some mornings, perhaps most.  This time I knew I would be able to sleep.  I also have learned that going back to bed could end up seeing me up at 10:00, noon, even on into the afternoon.  Why?  Because, now, quit asking damnfool questions or I'll tell you why.  Or... something.  So, I set the alarm for 8:30.  Sometimes I just don't have enough going to do that.  I like when I can functionally use what I know, a rarity at times but a joy.

So, the alarm goes off.  I, by the way, truly hate alarm clocks.  'Tis why they work, though, and often I wake before they go off.  Just not today.  I look around.  Still dark?  Really?  Oh, I'll get up but I'm not going to like it, I think to myself.  No, not one bit.  And I'm just a wee sore about it.  Emotions aren't logical, mind you, if I think many understand the meanness of waking to darkness.  I start rolling and shifting.  And I only hit snooze on the alarm, I know me well.  Between still being tired, in the perpetual state of it lately actually, and that it is dark and I am grumpy about it, I knew that just turning off the alarm could see me in trouble.

I'm awake!, says I in my mind to self.  I'm getting up, I say, again to myself.  I yield, I whimper, in my mind to the world.  As the tactical notion of the world comes to me, and I thrash around to make sense of things...  I see why it's still dark.  I'm under three sets of blankets!  The sun is up, if with the weakness that winter yields.  It IS cold, it is early, but the light... she shines.  Ahhhh... much better.  Today will be okay.  I'm still not all that awake, or lively, but I can smile.  I don't need the sun everyday.  You know my schedule darn near makes me more a vampire than townfolk.  But some days?  Especially with my incapacity lately to sleep but five to seven hours, and trying to hold some lines, and it turning cold, and some other things...  Today I needed the sun.  Thank you, God.  Amen.

Today?  I didn't get to much of my list yesterday.  I will keep those things on my list and push, plus look for a window of opportunity.  The cat litter is being shifted, the dishes keep getting fresh soaks, so I'm on the cusp of "greatness".  I am seeking, digging, pushing... but... often just against deadened flesh, not against the rest of the world.  Oh... never to worry, I think I can, and sooner rather than later.  I have been taking my medicine like a champ the last few days, all of it.  And I have been eating a bit every day.  I missed brushing my teeth last night though.  I hate the morning mouth when that gets missed.  I'll keep trying.

Now, you...  Get up, get out, and do it.  I don't care about like or want.  You have no idea what it is to be graced with flesh that yields to your will.  Use it.  Don't let that slip from you.  It seems easy, to no "do".  But it's not.  Go.  Do.  Live.  And love.  I can love.  I am mostly living.  But the rest is not always open to me.

Later.