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It has been rough. Not the worst of times. There is no pain. But there is very little of anything. The last few nights I could not sleep until very early in the morning, 2:00 and 4:00, give or take. I did make it to town Sunday, after a week of 'effort'. The coffee shop wasn't open and there are a few other things I failed to purchase due to the day and time that I was able to drive in.
I have to appointments coming up, back to back. If I can't make it to town before those, there is a chance on the way to or from one of those I might make it to the stores. It's simply rough. No focus, really. I was surprised how well I could celebrate. Any kind of a schedule would have been useless, mind you. Thursday at 15:00? Monday at 8:00? Not going to happen. Moments carved out of a glacier, more by chance and function than will, as to when or how various things happened. I am a bit worried about making it to the appointments. I am going to focus and do my best with those.
I won't say I am sleepy. I just don't have a way to focus. Hmm, but I do have a bit of food, from shopping. Apples and pears, salami and cheese, milk and some other things. But even getting to these things means pushing through the cobwebs. Hunger, sometimes? Check. But what does that mean in the shadows of the mind? Something about flesh. Sometimes food is eaten, sometimes it is forgotten with everything else that just went through the mind. Bah, I'm going to force a little bit of food down, somehow. And, while I am pretty much out of coffee, I did buy some soda for a quick caffeine fix. It's not as functional, but it does keep the headaches at bay. Headaches are merely distractions, stronger or weaker. Pain isn't the problem, it's the thinking of the pain that can be.
Never mind, just grumbling as I try to lay claim to the day, get showered and to town, and figure some of my life out. At least it was a good Christmas. No complaints there. Now to carry that good a little farther. Or take a nap? Maybe I am still tired. :p
Later.
Aww, man, I wish I could bring you a meal. I'm currently preparing right this minute chili and I still have apple pie that I made yesterday.
ReplyDeleteBut, don't go anywhere. Stay put..
I might have something else I can give you, come to think of it.
I'll be back..
@foam --- no. Let the chili sit for a day and then take it to him. Day-old chili is one of Nature's perfect foods.
ReplyDeleteWell, Michael..
ReplyDeleteIndeed, you are right. Day old chili is wonderful.
In the meantime I have something else for him. You can have some too if you want.
Both of you.. Don't move now..
some pie for you
Oh? Comments. Crazy lazy day...
ReplyDeleteOkies foam, I won't go anywhere. :)
I dunno Michael. Then again, my problem with food isn't always just getting to it or such. Sometimes I can't eat, so... you might be right.
I just tried some of my favorite easy stuff. I ate it, but... it was a struggle.