18:00 and awake.

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Okay, closer to 19:00 before I woke.  I did stay awake long enough to change the appointment.  Then almost got stuck awake.  I have windows in which I can try to sleep.  But my capacity to focus in those times is limited.  So if I try to stay awake to do something, I may neither do the action nor get to sleep in a timely manner.  I meant to stay awake until 8:00, then call in.  Due to lack of focus, it was nearly 10:00 before I could collect my stuff into the correct sock, find the phone, and dial in.  Luckily my sleep window had not fully been passed.  Yeah, I reset the calendar alarm in my phone before then crashing and hard.

I am trying to use the alarm clock to adjust my sleep.  I am also beginning the push back to a day schedule.  I feel like crap at the edges of my awake time.  Mornings and bedtime, and with a two to four hour margin, are horrid little spits of time.  Misery, bodily discomfort, aches and pains.  I think I pushed it, the other day, with the laundry.  Yeah, that just adds to it.  And, as foam suggests, I am probably fighting something dodgy.  Or my body fights itself or ghosts of dead viruses.  My body is at war, sometimes cold, sometimes hot, for whatever reason.  Toss in a bad heart, and I think that explains much of what is wrong.  Yeah, I think that about sums it up.  Imagine having the flu, at very low levels, for most of your adult life.

Still, I do have a number of hours where I actually feel pretty good.  Medicine really helps, now that I am at level.  But I am a bit fragile as to weather and the seasons.  Sometimes more than other times.  Nothing is purely static.  I am getting better though.  The worst of my times, currently, are better than the best of most of my time prior to getting a handle on the heart and blood pressure.  Even if I go through hell getting to level on medication, when there it works quite well.  All relative, mind you.  You wouldn't want even the best of my health.  Most people would commit suicide if my peak was as good as it got.  I've simply learned to take things as they are.

Today?  I would like to crack into the last of the laundry and the few dishes that need washed.  Three loads of laundry, one minor load of dishes, and I will be caught up.  Then on to figuring out my bedroom, perhaps.  We'll see, time will tell, and all... that... jazz.  Later.