Yeah, okay.

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I kept thinking I would just get up and go after pushing as I have.  For a while life was very easy.  Further, test runs went well.  Yeah, there was that.  So, I just assumed that a full run would be easy.  And, to a degree, it was.  What I failed to account into the equation was multiple expenditures of energy.  I simply, still, do not regenerate well or quickly when taxed over some limit.  And, so, yesterday, and today... I sit.  No matter of will, no laziness, no lack of want, exists.  Simply my body has nothing to give.  A few lessons learned, however.

First lesson is that if I am going out?  Spend everything I have and then some.  It honestly doesn't matter how much, or little, I spend, energywise.  I will need the same amount of recuperation regardless, after a certain point.  Now, I do have limits.  For example, what should be, say, a three day hike into the wilds, and back?  I could probably push in those three days, but maybe not get as far as a well versed wanderer.  Then?  I might need two, three, even four days, to recoup, and then begin the hike back out.  Which means, if I go in I will need to account for that with both food and water sources.  Those two to four days down I won't be able to collect foods, even fish.  I will be down, hard.

Another lesson is that no matter how good I feel, that doesn't have much relationship with what I can actually do.  I've died three times, I should know this.  Every time I died, that I remember... so at least two of those times, I went through a phase where I was sure, if I could just get up, I would be fine.  I just, thought... a hand up, a little walking around, I could walk it off.  The mind is a very interesting thing.  Sometimes it is in line with the body, sometimes not at all.  And because of feelings, emotions, when it is off, it can be polar opposite off.  Yeah, there is that.  How quickly I forget, and how deeply.  Gotta keep that in mind.

No worries.  I'll spend today, again, down.  I didn't get to a thing yesterday.  Nothing, no thing, natch, snake-eyes.  I am not sure I will get to much today, either.  Soreness, from stretching, hit me yesterday night and is here gangbusters today.  It isn't terrible pain, or debilitating stiffness, just... highly noticeable.  All good.  As I have said, this is exactly what I want and need.  Truth be told, I need to, pretty much, get to this level and try to keep it right about here, adding intensity as I am able.  A truly fit human is, sort of, miserable.  They are simply used to it.  I'm telling you, when you die, heaven or hell, you will no longer know this weight.  You will cry just for that.  But uhrm, I do advocate figuring the path to heaven.  All costs are gone there.

Yeah, it does feel good to ache.  And I love stretching against stiffness.  I have an outing planned for tomorrow, with my friend, unless it is raining.  If he asks for a raincheck, I may try to hike to the dam instead.  If my 5mph pace holds, one way should only be about 36 minutes, give or take.  A good rest when I get there, water consumption throughout, a test of my water filter, some target practice, another good long rest, then a hike back.  I figure, even if I can keep pace, it will take a good hour and an half, maybe two, at best.  Either tomorrow if my friend cancels, or Monday or Tuesday otherwise.  Then, later in the week, another hike or two.  I thought about biking, but honestly I want to hike to the dam a number of times, first, so that I actually appreciate the bike when I start using that.  Any time biking to the dam starts seeming a bore, I'll hike it to remember "why".  :)  You don't think I'm just a hardass on my people, do you?  Being a hardass starts at home, boys and girls.  Start with yourself, then empathy and sympathy for whiny babies dries up into hard smoke and a hard-on.  Yum!  Move them donkeys!  *Whipash!*

Later.