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I'm just going to leave a few journal like notes for the next bit. No problems, just... Well... and I am going to try to regain focus on the plumbing and home tasks and life here and now for a while. I'll flirt with disasters and traumas again soon enough.
I was able to stay awake until, by the real time alarm clock time, 16:15. It might be off from real time though, as the computer time suggested it was more like 16:30, and that is internet corrected daily. Still, that's what I had in there, and went with it. Since I am trying to fill the day out, I rounded that time up to 17:00, then added eight hours of sleep time, plus one for ticking over the day, so set it for 2:00. Not sure then, or now, if the math was right, bed time and right after waking up, even little math can be questionable. But... that's what I went with. And I slept right up until I couldn't. I know I thought of waking a time or two before I did, but never quite got into it enough to even check the time. "Time to wake up? Let me think about it for a... zzzz" When it was time to get up, though, I rolled easily. It was 1:48. Perfect! I slept, pretty much, to the intended time AND beat the alarm. That's an A+ dismount in my book.
A shower, first thing, when I can. Perhaps some more clearing and ordering of the kitchen table, but nothing fancy beyond those two things. I don't want to drain resources or upset the apple cart. The big thing today is to be ready to go to town. at about 10:00 or 11:00. The hardware store will be the first target. I need to have the parts that have to be fitted. One of the proprietary flexhoses, though I can grab an half inch valve there and then leave replace it before cashing out. Beside those parts, I need to buy some tools, plumber's wax, and valve packing. I have the list. I will also look at plants, but won't buy those right at first. I want to check several stores for those anyway.
Next, if my friend is up for it, and I will call him as I head out, I might try to get some target practice in today. I'll be taking the .45 and the 9 mm, and at least a box of each type of ammunition. Hmm... might take the .22 and some shorts as well. Oh, and I best put a chair in. I can't stand for a couple of hours, I have other things I need to do. I might try to talk him into an early meal, before we go, so it doesn't slow me down for the last part of my trip to town.
Then I am hoping to buy plants, so I will put boxes in the back to keep the plants, more or less, stable. And, finally, a trip to the store. Best put floss on the list. A three boxes of the stuff, one for the bathroom, one floating about for use after meals, and one spare? Something. Then my regular list of milk, cream, and butter. Coffee will be needed before too long, and tobacco should be kept up, but I am pushing it today and those are specialty stores and extra stops, so will not happen today. Perhaps next week as I need other things in town, or just on their own day, along with another day of target practice.
Hmm... just planning and writing that wore me out! Oh well. I'm aiming for a shower by 4:00, less than an hour and an half away. Not sure if, when, I will get to the table, but... that isn't vital.
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Oh, well, there is one part of the story line I have been meaning to write. Many completely deny any truth of my story, or stories, depending on... which aspect one wishes to follow. Easily denied, and I won't deny that even I disbelieve all of it, when I can. So it's no skin off my nose. I approve. If I don't like some of the doubters, because their doubt has nothing to do with the story and everything to do with my views. Stories are just that. However, someones got curious... They looked into my health file. They saw that I do have a ptsd diagnosis, but without any connection to anything from my service jacket, it is considered... unknown of cause. They might have noted that the V.A. wouldn't help me look for more. Whether because they didn't believe, or because the effort was quashed from on high, I don't know. However, they believe what I don't necessarily abide, that this couldn't happen in youth, or through some other odd means. And they don't like the possibilities. It means, to them, that there might be a truth their government isn't telling them, as nothing has happened otherwise in my life. I have created many theories about how the psychological understandings could be wrong. Sometimes I need, desperately, for that to be wrong, so... I develop how it could be wrong. Great enough need creates a path.
I just grin and giggle when I see into the dark. Furtive little diggers looking to disprove, caught in their own traps. I watched as they dug, argued about it, and resigned to... the facts that they really don't know. But then, that's all I've ever even suggested here. I have senses, memories, dreams, but so darkly, if so deep and painful... Only recently, within the last few years, did I even remember my woman who died. I just don't know what happened, not even with her, or much else, but I write what I "see" when I can no longer disbelieve, when denial fails. But at least we are closer to being on the same page. Not hard to hate, but difficult to use disproven theories to bolster it, even for such types. Especially when they were so sure they had me. Now, they, along with me, get to bleed about the unknown. And, I, for one, am loving it. Bleed, rabbits, bleed! Didn't your mother tell you not to play with dead things? *rictus grin*
Oh, I will teach you. I was once far better at your mastery, and still have... a hook or two. Rusty. Hope you have your shots. Yeah, and I am still better at it, without trying, then you ever will be at full effort. You called?
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Brief is on the way. I am slow with intent, you know this. Anyway... next times.
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