Ho boy.

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While I couldn't get to sleep, I hadn't stretched too far into 'the zone'.  And while I had pushed, I hadn't crushed.  I did what I could do to alleviate the stress while doing what I had to do and maybe a bit more, technically.  Though the extra was often related to either gearing up, gearing down, or just seeing something to do at the right time and place.  Still, I was well and seriously caught on that outgoing current.  Fight is not what will save you in such a situation.  Staying calm and staying afloat, then hoping you have the strength to make it to shore when you get out, and to the side beyond the push.  Then, as you can, you make your way back in.  I know the drill.  I can't always respond to it as I would like.  I lost my whole world that first time this happened, and about killed myself trying to fight the tide.  Who knows, if unlikely, this might yet be purgatory, another stage of it.  In any case, I thought waking was going to be an epic horror.

Not so much.  It must have been past 7:00, perhaps past 9:00, when I went to bed.  And it was an hour or three before I actually found sleep.  Rest, however, was to be had before sleep arrived.  My body had to... relax... in stages.  When I push beyond my flesh, that is into animal, feral, territory.  Not of mind unless other elements exist, and even so I have been trained and experienced beyond that, as much as a man can be.  No, this was just of flesh, and done carefully even so.  As such, my body has to... change... back to human... sort of.  Now that the flesh is on the mend, I realize I have the keys, mostly.  But having keys only unlocks and locks.  As with, say, the water locks on the Panama canal, water has to flow and fill lift, then on to the next, up and down the canal.  Each step takes time.

Sleep finally arrived.  Restful.  A dream, one I have had before, once that I know.  I remembered it half way through.  An Irish woman becomes an owner of a bakery.  She starts small, doing much toil herself, but moves on to hire many, and mostly manages the operation.  Life has become, mostly, sweet, after a hard youth of war.  Which side she was on matters little to the story, and is never actually uncovered.  At some point, a ghost from her past returns.  It seeks to rekindle the war.  She has moved on, in more ways than not.  She refuses to get involved, only offering charity to the ghost.  A token of past friendship and bond.  The ghost, reluctantly, accepts the bit and goes about his business.  But the woman, fearing a return to the old ways, and the loss of all she has worked to obtain, calls the authorities.  The ghost is quickly captured and, out of hand, destroyed.  Some things, however, do not stay dead.  It returns, to her business, and destroys her workers, while she hides in her office, listening to the sounds of killing and dying, crying and fearing her own death.  Finally, all of the sounds stop.  As the tears begin to cease, in the cubbyhole under her desk, she begins to wonder if she will be spared as time passes.  The ghost, eventually, does enter her office.  He speaks with her about the past, their friendship, and the betrayal.  He asks if she understands what is happening.  She says she does.  And, so, with no tears or fear or lack of understanding, the ghost lays her low.

Don't look at me for answers.  It is merely a dream, for all I know.  Who, or what, are right, wrong, or how to put a solid grip on the thing, is beyond me.  Sympathies, empathy, understanding, wisdom, righteousness all vie for consideration.  A sad end to a sad tale.  I came to like the main characters, some of the workers, and I see their faults and such.  It is much more difficult to judge when all are "friends", and well understood.  But, there, you have it.  As to science saying that dreams are not replayed, all I have to say is that earth science suggested that lightning does not strike the same place twice.  There are a many dreams I have dreamed repeatedly, and other than "those" dreams.

Sleep, however, when it came, truly was wonderful.  As that first shower after a week in the bush, or a cool glass of water after a hot day of work, perhaps like taking boots off after a rather long hot hike.  It actually came rather gently.  It snuck up on me.  More as a wave of relaxation one step deeper than the one before it.  And I rested well.  I didn't sleep as long as is my normal, but far better than is usual.  The hours are off, I didn't expect sleep would be as I would have it.  And yet I feared, deep inside, that waking would be the real nightmare.

Not so, not at all.  Waking was quick and absolutely painless, so far.  The body aches were hidden at first, and only slightly in play now.  My mind is fresh.  And, should I not wish to wait on a call to the manufacturer tomorrow, I would easily be able to get to town, with a shower and all else thrown in.  The girls will just have to wait for tomorrow for wet food, as I do not wish to make an extra run to town.  And, while I can run, I do not wish to push it.  I will relax, softly, today.  There are a few things I could do, and probably will do, probably.  But I will do them softly, hoping to put efforts around Monday and more solid information.  Things to do, but... yeah... gently.  It's a fragile device that I wear.  It has been kind to me, this time.  I wish to return the favor.

Later.